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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Job Interview Tips:
/ Show them you're ready to work longterm. / Man: "Well, I have sort of a boss' daughter fetish, but little Marcy won't be legal for another 7 3/4 years." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1143#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "Ted! I'm you from the future! Quick! I have to impregnate your wife or you'll never have kids before technology makes you fertile!" / Header: Earlier that day... / Man #2 (to Man #1): "You'll never believe this! You have a long lost twin brother!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1144#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Homicide? Homicide? HELLO. He choked to death on his OWN spleen." / Caption: "Err...I mean...his own whatever the police determined he choked on." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1145#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Teacher: "Hehehe..." / Boy: "You know, being an adult and giving ten-year olds an F minus for no reason is basically the same as kicking a puppy." / Teacher: "I never thought of it that way." / [ Teacher happily kicks a puppy ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1146#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Classic Practical Joke #49:
/ Ruin your son's life in one sentence! / Dad: "A lot of men spend their lives obsessing about penis size, but honestly, 12 inches is enough for any woman." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1147#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Son, I found some COCAINE under your pillow today!" / Caption: Part of my efforts to be a cool dad involve a new version of the tooth fairy tradition. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1148#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Let's not ruin this beautiful evening with sex." / Caption: This might've seemed sweet if it weren't our fifth anniversary. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1149#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Scientist #1: "This is it1 The cure for all STDs!"
/ Scientist #2: "Do you...do you know what this means?" / [ Both men run to the Discount Brothel ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1150#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "It's just a cut on the ear! It's just a cut on the ear!"
/ Doctor: "SHUTUP! I'M A DOCTOR!" / Caption: Lesson learned:
/ Tourniquets work better on limbs. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1151#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Steve! I'm so sorry! I DO love you!" / Steve: "Wow. Wow. So...you might not wanna watch the news for a few days." / [ He has "this is your fault" written on his chest ] / [ He's standing naked on his building's ledge ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1152#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Apparently there are limits to the "opposites attract" theory of love / Man: 'But look at me! I'm ENORMOUS!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1153#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Wow...could you maybe...you know...shave...down there...a little? It's kind of intimidating." / Caption: My relationship with Medusa was short-lived. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1154#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Husband Tips:
/ Choose your post partum words carefully / Man: "Pff. That didn't looks so hard." / Caption: "Can you even call it 'labor' if YOU'RE the one laying down the whole time?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1155#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A boy goes to his dad with an axe in his head, an arrow through him, an dagger in his back, and a "kick me" sign ] / Caption: "Well, you just tell that bully, 'no thankyou, sir.'" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1156#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Life Tips:
/ Everything is cooler in a cape / Man: "I'll take this HEMORRHOID PILLOW!"
/ Woman: "And this vaseline and copy of Ladies' Home Journal? That's you too?"
/ Man: "I'M LONELY!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1157#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Okay, but if I help you out, you have to start wearing nice collared shirts."
/ Son: "Aww mommmm..." / Caption: I elected to hide the body myself. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1158#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Son, we've decided to sop cussing in front of you. From now on, whenever one of us swears, we'll give a dollar to charity." / Header: 10 years later... / Man: "So, why couldn't you afford college?"
/ Son: "My f--kin' parents." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1159#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Infighting at the Discovery Channel / Man: "Ah, now the bull elephant blows his trunk, and does a rhythmic mating dance. If I'm not mistaken, any minute now, your mother should come running." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1160#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Life Tip:
/ Not all observations are observational humor / Doctor: "You're going to die soon!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1161#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Were you not satisfied with your purchase?"
/ Man: "Not satisfied?! Look at how I'm breathing! Do I look satisfied?!" / Caption: [ A picture of what he was returning - Deluxe Suicide Kit ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1162#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Ladies' golfing again?"
/ Woman: "You know. A REAL MAN would find this exciting." / Caption: Sherrie and I have very different tastes in porn. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1163#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "It's me son! It's me! I was only dressing like the guy who kept you in his basement for six years to punish you for getting a B-minus on your history test!" / Caption: "Pretty creative, huh?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1164#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: It's a shame no modern politicians believe in Zeus / Man #1: "And what should we do in the Middle East?"
/ Man #2: "I think we should do what God would do."
/ Man #1: "Which is?"
/ Man #2: "Turn into a duck and have sex with it." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1165#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Don't worry Bobby. Grandma may be gone from Earth, but from now on, she'll always be watching over you." / Caption: "We don't know why, but Bobby hasn't used the bathroom in six weeks!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1166#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: From the archive:
/ February 10, 1919
/ SMBC goes political! / [ Mini comic:
/ Man #1: "Agh! Another GIANT WASP attack!"
/ Man #2: "I don't care! I've got that new strain of ultra-smallpox!" / Caption: Vote NO on women's suffrage ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1167#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Well, I guess she's CANNIBALIZING HER OWN BABIES in heaven now." / Caption: Mom disagreed with my views on the hamster afterlife. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1168#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Teacher: "I don't care if they're child prodigies! I'm not teaching a programming language invented by twelve-year-olds! It's undignified!"
/ Man: "But it's the most elegant language ever created! Everyone's using it!"
/ Teacher: "*sigh...*" / Teacher: "So, here you'll want a...*sigh*...butt loop."
/ Student:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1169#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "A c-minus in algebra? Looks like I sleep with TWO hookers tonight." / Caption: I didn't recognize the conflict of interest until Dad started hiding my books. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1170#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Confession Tips:
/ Soften the blow with a puppy dog greeting card / [ A card reads "I'm rorry I srept riff rour radopted raughter." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1171#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I'm just saying, if, God forbid, she doesn't survive the operation, you and I could hang out a lot more." / Caption: Never make friends with your wife's doctor. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1172#comic |
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