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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Premature Ejaculation Guide / Header: Normal Person
/ Man: "Oh God. I'm sorry honey...geez..." / Header: Computer Person
/ Man: "UNDO! UNDO!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1173#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Daughter: "You're acting crazy!"
/ Mom: "We just think you should open a little savings account now that you got your promotion." / Caption: I was talking more about stuffing Dad's body and stapling it to the couch. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1174#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "That's my load-bearing son." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1175#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Superman, we can't just give you "rights to all of Earth's women."
/ Superman: "What'd you say? Sorry, I was busy crushing this scale model of the moon into this scale model of Earth." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1176#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Angel: "Okay, God, we finished building the universe you designed, elegant in its simplicity, sublime in its complexity."
/ God: "Good, good. Next, we wait 14 billion years, then tell some desert people how to behave." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1177#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Angel: "God, we've been getting some complaints about human misbehavior."
/ God: "Misbehavior? But I designed each human's flowchart perfectly!" / Header: That evening...
/ God: "Uh-oh." / Caption: [ A flowchart reads "miss your mom?" - "yes." - "dig up old women's bodies and wear them." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1178#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A butterfly lands on a flower. ] / Header: 1,000,000 random consequences later... / Man: "I call it Chaos Theory!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1179#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man (singing): "Kickin' ass and kickin' ass and kickin' ass and kickin' ass, it's Steve! F--kin' Steve from accouuuunting!" / Caption: Bring Your Own Theme Song Day ended up being a one-time event. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1180#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Look! Look! I found a direct correlation!"
/ Woman: "With what?" / Caption [ A graph with a perfect positive 1 correlation has a y-axis labeled "times yelling 'direct correlation'" and an x-axis labeled "questions asked about it." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1181#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Hey...so...Ted..."
/ Man #2: "What's - hey, what's up, man?"
/ Man: "So...you've actually never had heroin. We've been slipping you saline solution for 10 years." / Caption: "In retrospect, we probably should've told you BEFORE you switched to methadone." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1182#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "What do you mean I'm too old for you?! We're both twenty-six!" / Caption: Charles explained that this was 43 in girl years. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1183#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Okay, yes. It's tragic. But did you see the sign? It's important!" / Header: 5 seconds ago... / [ A plane with a banner reading "will you marry me?" goes down in flames ] / Header: 5 minutes ago... / Man: "She's gonna love this, John."
/ Old Man: "Hey, call me Dad." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1184#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Hey you sh--heads! Yeah, f--k you! There's a wall here! Pay attention! I'm trapped in this sh--!" / Caption: I'm beginning to rethink my career as a street mime. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1185#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Judge: "You know, this murder trial has gone on for months now, and there's just no end in sight. So I'd like to call upon the parties here represented to change things up...just for one day..." / Caption: "BOYS versus GIRLS!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1186#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A woman finds boxes of 'porn," "horrifying porn," and "unforgivable porn." ]
/ Woman: "D-dad?" / Caption: Life Tip:
/ Before you die, have a friend clean out your stuff. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1187#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Honey, I know some kids at school said some mean things to you. But, I'm gonna tell you a little story about someone else who also got called bad names." / Caption: Halfway through, Mom realized that there isn't a story about a "little fatass duckling." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1188#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "So, what'll get a better angle...12 inches stainless steel, or 14 inches ceramic?"
/ Man #2 (being tortured): "NOOOOOOOO!" / Caption: I HATE word problems. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1189#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Heroin is a very very addictive drug. You get to where you don't think about anything but your next fix." / Caption: Floyd explained how he kicked his drinking problem. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1190#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Jesus...how can I be a better person?"
/ Voice: "You could untie me from the ceiling-"
/ Man: "NEVER!" / Caption: Still waiting for that second coming? http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1191#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Alien #1: "50 million light years traveled, but we've finally reached Earth!"
/ Alien #2: "Now to enact...THE PLAN." / Caption: [ A piece of paper reads "appear in windows outside crazy people's houses" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1192#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: I shouldn't have been allowed inside the fat activism convention / Man: 'Hi, I've been hearing a persistent rumor, and I'd like your perspective. Is it true that when you sit around the house, you REALLY sit around the house?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1193#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A little girl holds a note that reads "Dear Santa, I've been good all year. I don't need any toys. Just a new little brother, please. thanks, Susie." ] / Header: Soon... / Mom: "We really just weren't planning on another -"
/ Santa: "I said GET BUSY!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1194#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Parenting Tip:
/ Anything kids don't like is a potential punishment / Dad: "From now on, every time you get a C, you get the sex talk."
/ Son: "Uh...okay." / Dad: "So the man's sperm enters the woman's vagina, at which point..."
/ Son: "I know. I know! I KNOW!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1195#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I'm not saying he was good! Just good at what he chose to do! That's all!" / Caption: Sally doesn't feel that I'm "the Hitler of snuggling." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1196#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "But I really LOVE castrating squirrels." / Caption: Apparently, the vet's office prefers credentials. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1197#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Okay, I'm unclear on which of my actions just now was sexual harassment. I'm gonna repeat everything I just did, and you tell me where it went awry." / Caption: "Gotcha. Left boob off limits." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1198#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've done it, behold! The cure for childhood misbehavior." / Caption: [ The note with the syringe reads "directions for use: stab the little bastard." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1199#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Soldier: "Ma'am...I'm afraid that I'm the bearer of some bad news." / Caption: "Your husband is a hat." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1200#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Superhero: "Not so fast evildoer! Ever since my horrible mistake behind the lab 10 years ago, every cell in my body is a potential threat." / Caption: Life Tip:
/ Hepatitis is not a superpower. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1201#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Life Tip:
/ You can do pretty much anything if you yell the right phrase / Man (as he runs naked through a street): "For science!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1202#comic |
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