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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: From across the room, we saw each other / [ A red line goes between the eyes of a man and a woman. A blue line goes from his eyes to her breasts and from her eyes to his crotch. ] / Caption: Red - What you told your kids.
/ Blue - The truth. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1504#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A bathtub falls through the ceiling onto a woman who is laying on a bed. A man in just his underwear looks on. ] / Caption:
/ Best Case Scenario: "the paramedics are on their way!"
/ Worst Case Scenario: "It's okay. I'm still turned on." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1505#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I'm sorry. I can't marry you. How can I be happy with you while I know there are millions of women around the world who can't afford food or shelter?" / Header: Somewhere in Moldava
/ Man (shaking money in the air): "Who wants to be my wives?!"
/ Three women: "ME!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1506#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Hey, I need to know the size of my monitor. Come over here."
/ Man: "Seriously?! No! No more! I'm not your goddamn ruler!" / Header: One week earlier...
/ Woman: "Hey, wanna measure your penis?"
/ Man: "Ooh...sounds fun..." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1507#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Billy, did you really think I'd believe this? Next time, try forging a B." / Caption: [ Report card reads "Geology: F ucking awesome" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1508#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I'm gonna smoke you out of existence!" / Caption: Twice a day, Steve joins the war on drugs. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1509#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "Here are the crime scene photos."
/ Man #2: "God, that's gruesome. Any family?" / Man #1: "Hard to say. No I.D. no missing person report."
/ Man #2: "If only there were a way we could get as many people as possible to try to recognize him." / [ The men ponder ] / [ A website titled "Caption... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1510#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Close up of a buxom blond's chest spilling out of a tight dress ] / Caption: Sorry. / This was a lot easier to draw than my joke about the pervasiveness of sexism in modern culture. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1511#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Parenting Tip:
/ Word Choice is Important / Header: Acceptable:
/ Dad: "You're cruisin' for a bruisin'!" / Header: Unacceptable:
/ Dad: "You're cruisin' for a child abusin'!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1512#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The good news:
/ No-longer-living-with-mom day way more fun than Mother's Day / [ Man sits nude in a chair, while smoking a cigar, reading a porn magazine, eating from a tub of cookie dough, and drinking booze ] / Header: The bad news:
/ Your mom celebrates it too / [ Old lady sits nude in a... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1513#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "Here are your...results."
/ Man: "NO! Isn't there SOMETHING?! Maybe antibiotics?" / Caption: Sad Truth:
/ There is no cure for paternity. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1514#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Myth
/ Professor: "DNA is the most beautiful thing in nature. Simple and elegant, it contains all the wonder of the cosmos in its perfect twists and turns." / Header: Reality
/ [ A drawing of a double helix has three parts sectioned off: "attracted to first cousin," "draws penises on subway walls,"... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1515#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Hey! What the hell is he doing here?!"
/ St. Peter: "Oh, he was in a different area code, so technically it wasn't cheating." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1516#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Sorry! Too ethical!" / Caption: If you don't pay, she's not a prostitute. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1517#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Upwards curve graph with x-axis "age" and y-axis "topics you're willing to address in a pickup line ] / Man: "I don't believe in public breastfeeding, so...how about we go back to my place?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1518#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: People who shouldn't have children:
/ Frat Boys / Man: "It's time we had the sex talk. Now, when a man and woman love each other very much, the man tricks the woman into taking a nap." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1519#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Science Quiz!
/ Match the viewpoint to the lifestyle: / Header: 1. Isaac Newton
/ Newton: "Light consists of individual particles at particular locations." / Header: 2. Erwin Schrodinger
/ Schrodinger: "Light and its position cannot be described simply. In fact, light can have several locations... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1520#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mama Bird (to her babies): "Hey! Stop it! Stop cheeping, you little shits, or I'll puke all over you!" / Mom: "And the mama bird regurgitates breakfast for all the little baby birds." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1521#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Science Funding Explained: / Man: "Mister Senator, I think we can send a man to Mars."
/ [ Senator yawns ] / Man: "Mister Senator, I think we can explode Mars."
/ Senator: "Go on."
/ Man: "We can explode Mars...before the Chinese?"
/ Senator: "Sold!" / [ A rocket flies through space. ] / Man:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1522#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: How Science History Works / Man: "So, I propose we name the new element Norma-Martinez-Is-A-Fat-Lazy-Cheating-Bitchnium"
/ Woman: "The rest of the team prefers Hugo-Martinez-Is-A-Dickless-Manchild-Who-Saw-It-Comingum." / Header: 20 Years Later
/ [ Student reads "Martinium (left) was discovered... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1523#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Are you okay, honey?"
/ Woman: "I'b fine. I jus' canth feel my tongue fo' sumb weason." / Caption: I'm starting to regret giving my brother those desensitizing condoms. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1524#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "Your son is now immunized against gay."
/ Mom: "Thank you so much, Doctor. By the way, who's that man we always see you with?"
/ Doctor: "Brother." / Caption:
/ [ A graph with an x- axis of time has three curves:
/ 1. downward sloping "average wealth of anti-gay groups"
/ 2. upward sloping "average... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1525#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Life Tip:
/ Excuses are Non-Transferable / Man: "I didn't kill my wife, I'm just big-boned." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1526#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "Women are things! They're here for our amusement, until they get older than 25, at which-"
/ Man #2: "Stop it, Ted. Just stop." / Caption: There's nothing brave about preaching to the choir. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1527#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Native #1: "We eat our enemies, thereby gaining their abilities."
/ Man: "That's ridiculous! It's physically impossible!" / Header: Soon...
/ Native #1: "Do you know anthropology yet?"
/ Native #2: "Nope. Better keep eating." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1528#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: I'm beginning to doubt Sally's commitment to rehab / Sally: "My name is Sally, and it's been three hours till my last drink." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1529#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A boy writes in a journal:
/ "May 27,
/ Our attempt at the erection of a breastwork was once again stymied due to the girls' giggling. My council has yet to determine what they are laughing about." ] / Caption: The children's revolution was quickly defeated. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1530#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A woman builds a noose after writing a note that reads "tired of being dependent on everyone else ] / [ She finishes the noose ] / Doctor: "First make the loop, THEN twirl." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1531#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Voice: "VROOM! VROOM! HONK!"
/ Man: "Are you...are you pretending to be a racecar?"
/ Voice: "Oh, wow...wow, I really thought you were asleep." / Caption: On the whole, it was a good colonoscopy. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1532#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | George Washington: "Oh, you can't change the words! I had this hand gesture worked out that looked like a cobra!"
/ benjamin Franklin: "sigh. No, George. It's 'don't tread on me.'" / Caption: [ A flag has a coiled pink snake and the slogan "Don't f**k with the snake!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1533#comic |
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