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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Jesus and God smoke ] / Jesus: "Dude, I got a great idea:" / Jesus: "Pinata, filled with MEAT." / God: "Ahh, yeahhh." / God: "I call it 'cow.'" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1596#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Oh my God! You're cheating on me?! With a guy?!"
/ Man: "*" / Caption:
/ * Best Possible Answer
/ "I'm sorry. I love you, but this is who I am." / Worst Possible Answer
/ "Oh my God! I thought it was you!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1597#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A basket full of kittens ] / Caption: Sad Fact:
/ Nazi kittens are just as cute as regular kittens. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1598#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ An explosion ] / Header: Earlier...
/ Commissioner Gordon: "Batman!"
/ Batman: "What is it, Commissioner?!" / Commissioner Gordon: "A team of villainous geeks are about to blast Gotham City with their superlaser!" / Batman: "I'm on it." / Geek #1: "A bat-grenade!" / Geek #2: "I don't get it. The... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1599#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I know you hate trying on bathing suits because of your poor body image. So, I'm putting on this meditation album to help you relax." / Caption: Apparently Sandy isn't a fan of whalesong. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1600#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "I am an excellent sleeper! It is not unto you to determine when bedtime begins or ends. Should you continue to assault my greatness. I shall be forced to resign. I sleep for myself, mother. And for nobody else." / Caption: On Tuesday, we switched back from Ayn Rand to Lewis Carroll. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1601#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man (getting hit in the stomach): "Oof!" / [ Woman lights man's hair on fire ] / [ Woman pours horse urine on man's head ] / Man: "Okay, okay, point taken." / Header: The day prior...
/ Man: "I wish you wouldn't be so passive aggressive." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1602#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Will you marry me?" / Woman: "I should tell you I don't like domestic life, I never want children, and sometimes I just disappear for six months at a time." / [ The man stares ] / Man: "Will you marry me RIGHT NOW?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1603#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Signs feminism has succeeded:
/ Everyone's internalized it / [ Three men in masks hold knives up to a woman who is strapped to a chair and has a gag in her mouth ]
/ Man: "Wait...guys...is this sexist?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1604#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ All matter has a wave aspect ] / [ Matter's wavelength is inversely proportional to momentum ] / [ So even large matter can be diffracted if its velocity is low enough ] / Header: Which means...
/ Woman: "It's been three weeks. For God's sake, take a shower!"
/ Man: "Diffracting!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1605#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A scalpel blade breaks against a man's stomach ] / Caption: Nobody would've guessed Superman would die of appendicitis. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1606#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Scientist #1: "There. The computer has been programmed to be sexist."
/ Scientist #2: "Let's give it a whirl." / Scientist #2: "Computer, which gender is inferior?" / Computer: "I believe both are equal." / Scientist #2: "I thought you were programmed to be sexist." / Computer: "I guess the chicks... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1607#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "It's the tomahawk condom. When you put it on, it immediately deploys three additional smaller condoms, each with laser sighting."
/ Woman: "Why would you ever, ever want that?" / Caption: August 13, 2009:
/ The only time in history an engineer ever refused sex. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1608#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Scientist #1: "The quantum computer can predict any hypothetical future."
/ Scientist #2: "What would the world be like if all countries were run by women?" / [ Scientist takes a piece of paper out of a computer ] / [ The paper reads "world peace. But every time you go in the shower, there's like, ten... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1609#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Uh...uh...my subscription to 'I'm okay with small penises' magazine." / Header: Earlier...
/ Man: "What do you mean 'is it in yet?'" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1610#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Magician: "Voila! Banished to oblivion!" / Caption: Never should've let that magician take my virginity. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1611#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The Emperor's New Clothes:
/ Header: A clever tailor convinced the king that only the wise would be able to see the garment
/ [ A tailor assures a king as the latter stands naked ] / Header: So the emperor paraded down the city streets, not knowing he was completely naked
/ [ The king walks down... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1612#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I've spent the last eight months digging an extensive system of tunnels between this restaurant and a variety of escape points. Go ahead, Sandra. Try to find me. Try! HAHAHAHAHA! / Caption: The breakup went as smoothly as I could've hoped. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1613#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Pope: "No, my son, I know you are not of our faith, and would not ask you to kiss the hand of its leader." / Caption: Moved by his sincerity, I briefly entertained a conversion before the pope finished turning around and lifting up his skirts. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1614#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "My God, Doctor Hatch - you've suddenly become beautiful now that you removed your glasses and let down your hair." / Caption: Ted suggested a hat would also be a good way to hide my freak ears. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1615#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "And with this simple pill we can now instantly cure any addiction." / Header: The following day...
/ Man: "I need more of those pills!"
/ Doctor: "But I just prescrib-"
/ Man: "MOOORE!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1616#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A silhouette of a man holds out a ring-shaped object to a woman ] / Caption: Best Case Scenario:
/ Will you marry me?
/ Worst Case Scenario:
/ It's called "The Catholic Condom." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1617#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Hey, you're five minutes early. I guess that's sorta your thing, eh?" / Caption: My job at the premature ejaculation clinic was short-lived. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1618#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Debate Tips:
/ Argument by analogy can always be turned back against you / Header: Pro-Abstinence Argument
/ Woman: 'Eww! They served us food someone ate already!"
/ Man: "Yuck! Why would we want it now?" / Header: Pro-Sex Argument
/ Man: "This is my favorite carousel!"
/ Woman: "Me too!"
/ Man #2:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1619#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "How do I say this as softly as possible...ah. Here. Imagine this lifeless medical cadaver is your husband." / Caption: Dr. Stein explains that my husband is lousy in bed. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1620#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I'm sorry. Everyone appreciates your contributions, but we can't name the new element after you." / Caption: Another sad day for Professor Hitlerballs. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1621#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Women's Studies 101 really improved my pick-up lines / Man: "I must be a feminist, because I'd like to be on a level plane with you." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1622#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: How Science Reporting Works: / Scientist: "We destroyed ten percent of cancer cells in a lab rat's tail." / [ Newspaper headline reads "Cancer cured" ] / Scientist: "We didn't CURE cancer. We're just moving faster toward a future treatment." / [ Newspaper headline reads "Time travel discovered"... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1623#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: How Science Publishing Works: / Woman: "This is the best paper we've ever written! It'll get into any top tier journal easily."
/ Man #1: "Wait. If we split the information into two papers, we can publish twice!" / Man #2: "Hold on...if we subdivide those two papers, we can get published four... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1624#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Caveman (yelling at his wife and another man): "Twenty dollars! Twenty dollars!" / Caption: Fortunately, sex was invented before copyright law. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1625#comic |
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