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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Oh, that's cool. Well, I'm a masculinist. It's similar to a feminist, only instead of fighting for equal pay, we try to disprove sexual assault claims." / Caption: And yet, still preferable to guys who spend the first date discussing how feminist they are. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1626#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A female mime shows a man a heart ] / [ The mime closes her hands around the heart ] / [ The mime opens her hands to reveal the heart has disappeared ] / [ The man looks shocked ] / Caption: It took about ten minutes to realize the mime had broken up with me.l http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1627#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Myth
/ Grandma: "And once a month, you have a beautiful reminder that it is we women who are privileged to be the givers of life." / Header: Reality
/ Woman: "AAH! F**k you, uterus! F**k you!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1628#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I think we'll stick with the old symbol..."
/ Man: "But the added figure eight represents the infinite cycle of rebirth."
/ Woman: "Right...but-"
/ Man: "No vision! No. Vision." / Caption: [ The female symbol with two small circles under the horizontal line ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1629#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man with red spots on his forehead looks horrified ] / Caption:
/ Least Awesome Scenario: Acne
/ Most Awesome Scenario: Headbutt from Jesus http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1630#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A picture of a prudish woman with arrows to "hair down," "bare wrist," and "mauve shoes." ] / Caption: The symptoms of nymphomania were much more subtle in 1850. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1631#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Saint Peter: "Wow...you sold your soul to feed the poor? That's so...so selfless..." / [ The dead man goes to hell to work in the Deluxe Acid Mines ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1632#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "I need 600 pounds of cough medicine."
/ Man #2: "Uh, we can't sell you that." / Man #1: "Why?"
/ Man #2: "Uh, because you're obviously going to make meth out of it." / Header: Soon...
/ Man #1: "I'm so sorry, gigantic cyclops!"
/ [ A giant cyclops has a runny nose and a box of tissues ] / Caption:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1633#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I'm sorry. It's been eighteen months. My ambivalence has doubled again." / Caption: Another marriage falls prey to the Moore's Law of Sex. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1634#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "No matter how long you live, you'll never know with certainty that even those closest to you ever loved you in a way you'd find meaningful." / Caption: Everyone began to wish Bobby had picked "dare." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1635#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A dinosaur reads a magazine called "Triassic" that features scantilly clad dinosaurs ] / [ He puts the magazine down ] / [ He closes his eyes and his arms disappear down below frame ] / [ He looks frustrated ] / [ Pull back to reveal that his arms won't reach his extremity because they are too... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1637#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: 1922, Arabia
/ [ Silhouettes of men and camels walk across a desert ] / Header: We had heard the legends
/ [ A man on a camel comes to a temple entrance ] / Header: It was said that the temple of Thothotep held a rock that made men laugh simply by holding it aloft.
/ [ Men walk through the temple... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1638#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Son...I want you to know that sex should be a beautiful thing. Well, at least for the first three months. After that sex should be a desperate race against complacency." / Caption: Mom then left the room, donning her nun's hat and aviator goggles. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1639#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Writing on a hand reads "say hi to mom" ] / [ Man looks scared as he stares at his hand ] / Caption: Note to self:
/ No more notes to self on masturbation hand. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1640#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Life Tip:
/ With a little thought any personal failing can be disguised as a success / Man: "Guess who quit cocaine three times today!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1641#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman (sitting on the toilet): "Aaah! Go away!"
/ Man (peering in her window while wearing an aviator helmet and glasses): "What? You can see me?! Well that was a waste of five hundred million dollars." / [ Pull back to reveal that the man is flying a stealth bomber ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1642#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Man #1 grins as he sends a text message ] / [ Man #2 grins as he receives a text message ] / [ Pull out to reveal the men are texting on either side of a church ] / Caption: Improper use of the Internet #86:
/ Beaming porno through nuns. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1643#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Possible...
/ Batman (thinking): "Now, if I can just reach the roof, I can climb down the inner wall, knock out the Joker from behind, and notify the police before he comes to." / Header: Realistic:
/ [ Batman puts the Bat grappling hook through the Joker's eye and through the back of his skull... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1644#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: When confronting your husband about his body image problem, choose your phrasing carefully / Woman: "Steve...let's talk about the elephant in the room." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1645#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Make your own Matryoshka doll! Each argument fits inside the next until you reach the truth
/ ( cut along the orange line) / Woman: "There are many beautiful souls in this universe, but I need a soulmate." / Woman: "It's not you, it's me." / Woman: "It's not you, it's your face, hair, body,... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1646#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Journalism 101: Word Choice / Header: Problem: People don't like hard news
/ [ A pile of dead people has a tag that reads "Batruvian genocide continues" ] / Header: Solution: People love lifestyle stories
/ [ The same pile of dead people has a tag that reads "America love Twister!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1647#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Grandpa: "When I was your age, women wore overcoats and gloves to go out. Now you got tramps and filthy whores on every corner!" / Caption: Ugh. Another of Grampa's lectures about how hard life used to be. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1648#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Monster: "I am from Planet X! I am immune to metal and explosives! Hahaha! Hahaha haha--oh no! My one weakness! Oversized foam weapons wielded in authentic medieval style!" / Man: "So, you see-"
/ Woman: "No LARPing!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1649#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A graph with an x-axis labeled "time spent single" and a y-axis labeled "acceptable varieties of masturbation" has a blue line spike straight up and then continue horizontally as well ass a red line that gradually increases ] / Caption:
/ The red line is "what you'd think is true"
/ The blue line is... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1651#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Female professor: "So, technology isn't just things you can hold. It's concepts that are useful to humans. Ways of thinking. Modes of analysis." / Male student: "So, like, from my perspective, sexism is a technology?" / Female professor: "That's not a technology. That's a personal bias." / Male student... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1652#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Jesus (as he throws a rock at another man): "BAM!" / Caption: Fun fact:
/ When Jesus said "let he who is without cast sin cast the first stone," he was talking about himself. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1653#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: My girlfriend and I play game called "sexual intercourse."
/ [ A man and a woman sit in bed with laptops ] / Header: One person selects a Wikipedia article, then the goal is to get to sexual intercourse in the lowest number of steps.
/ [ The couple sweats ] / Header: But sometimes I just get... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1654#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "It wasn't lousy sex, it was a satire about lousy sex." / Caption: Lesson Learned:
/ Don't sleep with your Literature professor. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1656#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Officer #1: "Uh, how about 'Operation Clean Up Pigsh*t so the Officers Can Build a Golf Course?'"
/ Officer #2: "No...no, that won't do..." / Header: Soon... / Soldier: "Oh my God! You guys ready to be jealous?!" / [ Soldiers gather around a paper that reads "Operation Raptor-Laser" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1657#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Literary Myths:
/ "Editors Ruin Great Novels" / Editor: "I'm going to add this motif of a white whale to your book. It's about the futility of vengeance on-"
/ Man: "WHAT?! That does it! I'm taking out all the fart jokes and the space-gorilla!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1658#comic |
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