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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "God...if you're real, show yourself as a dove on my windowsill." / [ A white dove appears on the windowsill ] / [ The man looks happy ] / [ The man then looks thoughtful ] / Man: "Now show yourself as boobs." / God: "And THAT is why I don't do miracles anymore." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1750#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "I've done it! With this simple cheap pill, everyone can have x-ray vision!" / Header: One week later...
/ [ Newspaper headline reads "All Sexy Body Parts Get Cancer at Same Time!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1751#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Alien #1: "We're going to use an enture species as life force batteries?"
/ Alien #2: "They won't know it's abnormal! We'll call it 'aging!'" / Header: 100,000 years later: first human-Zorblaxian summit...
/ Alien #1: "Okay, yes. Sorry, but take comfort! Your dead grandmothers' spirits live on in this... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1752#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: You don't want scientific parents! / Header: Astronomer
/ Dad: "You're a cosmic speck!" / Header: Neurologist
/ Mom: "You're so predictable." / Header: Engineer
/ Dad #2: "Hold this metal rod. I want to try something." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1753#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I told you two weeks ago to use a Simpson's Approximation."
/ Man: "I know. Don't say it, Shirley."
/ Woman: "Remember how you said men were better at math?"
/ Man: "Don't say it, Shirley."
/ Woman: "You've been..."
/ Man: "DON'T." / Caption: Woman: "EMATHCULATED!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1754#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Alien #1: "I thought that planet was called Earth."
/ Alien #2: "It was. It was, until they couldn't stop giggling at us all throughout first contact."
/ Alien #1: "What's it called now?"
/ Alien #2: "Booger-dick." / Caption: The Uranians never spoke to us again. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1755#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Child: "Wait a sec. If God is all-powerful, why did he need a rib from Adam to make Eve?" / Header: Earlier
/ Angel: "Oh, hey God! What'd you bring for the barbecue?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1756#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "This is stupid. This is so stupid."
/ Man #2: "Will it be stupid when we CORNER THE MARKET?!" / Caption: The market for Aquaprostitution never fully matured. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1757#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Hehe! Why do you think cats are so funny?"
/ Man: "They're stupid! They do the same thing over and over and find it amusing every time!" / Caption: Todd proved his point with Cat Video #40,921. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1758#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Priest: "So, instead of random acts of violence, there should be random acts of kindness." / Header: Soon...
/ [ As the priest sleeps, an ice cream cone crashes through his window ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1759#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A graph with x-axis labeled "time" and y-axis labeled "calculations per second per $1,000" has a slowly increasing line that skyrockets at time "present" ] / Man: "So, processing power grows exponentially. Eventually, we reach a technological singularity, where computing power becomes nearly infinite.... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1760#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: In the future, neuroscience grows so mathematically predictive, researchers set up mind-reading shops.
/ [ People wait in line to go into a scientific mind reading shop while a psychic is out of business ] / Header: All the old-fashioned psychics just didn't have the same level of clarity.
/ Psychic:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1761#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The Perception Problem / Header: Socially unacceptable
/ Mom: "Billy, why haven't you finished your homework?"
/ Son: "Laziness." / Header: Socially acceptable
/ Mom: "Billy, why haven't you finished your homework?"
/ Son: "Laziness syndrome!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1762#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A graph with y-axis labeled "Belief in a Higher Power" and x-axis labeled "Scientific Education" has a downward sloping line that then goes into similarly shaped waves. The rises in the waves are labeled "How can that be?" and the dips are labeled "Oh, that's how." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1763#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Due to dwindling university funds, we're combining the medical school and the track and field club."
/ Woman: "Oh, dear God no." / Woman (as a track star leaps over patients): "Nevermind. This is awesome." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1764#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Goblin: "Hahaha! Your swords are useless! My arms grow back the moment they are cut off!" / [ The warrior thinks ] / Caption: [ A piece of paper has a header "Ye Famine Ended" and shows people eating an endless supply of goblin arms. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1765#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "Time travel is not prohibited by Quantum Field Theory!"
/ Man #2: "If time travel is possible, where are all the time travelers?!" / Caption: Sadly, this questions remains unanswered until the 2153 Global Orgy. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1766#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man is hooked up to hospital machines, including one reading his thoughts. The screen reads "I wish I had boned my secretary." ] / Caption: Turns out last words are preferable to last thoughts. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1767#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: It Tip:
/ Match your pricing to the age of your client / Man: "What's wrong with my computer box?"
/ Woman: "It's your binary...too many zeroes, not enough ones."
/ Man: "Can...can I get more ones?"
/ Woman: "Hoo...not for cheap you can't." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1768#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Tips for Living Together:
/ The filthiest player wins / Woman: "Do the goddamn dishes!"
/ Man: "Sorry. Currently, we're above your dishes threshold but below mine. Not the chart."
/ [ The graph has a y-axis labeled "filth," an x-axis labeled "time," an upward sloping line, a low horizontal line... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1769#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Daughter: "Daddy, why do all men have one hand that looks softer than the other, as if it's been moisturized several times a day for years?" / Caption: I've decided I don't want observant children after all. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1770#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I worry the Internet turns art into memetic reductions. I mean, if they were published today, how would we respond to Shakespeare's "Hamlet?" To Voltaire's "Candide?" To Nabokov's "Lolita?"
/ Woman: "Pfft. That's easy. Here, I'll email you." / Caption: :( :) :/ http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1771#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "We need to spend more money on irrigation, not temples."
/ Lama: "Do not dwell upon your surroundings. Flow, my son. Be like the water."
/ Man: "Uh...okay." / Man: "So, the Lama wants us to be full of dysentery." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1772#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Funding's not so good. We've been forced to send chemistry faculty out to sell heroin."
/ Man: "Oh, my God...are they okay?"
/ Woman: "They're well enough, but...let's just say chem profs aren't the best salesmen..." / Man #2: "Hey, kid. You wanna buy some (5alpha, 6alpha)-7, 8-didehydro-4,5-... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1773#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Awkwardness at the Human-Zorblaxian Cultural Exchange / Alien: "Our anthropologists have a question. Why do the males attempt to impregnate the shower drain several times a week?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1774#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Middle school
/ Teacher: "You better shape up. In high school, they're gonna expect a lot more of you!" / Header: High school
/ Teacher #2: "You better shape up. In college, they're gonna expect a lot more of you!" / Header: College
/ Teacher #3: "You better shape up. In a real job, they're gonna... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1775#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: It is said that there is a fine line between a genius and an idiot.
/ Old man: "e^i*pi = -1"
/ Man: "Really? Why?"
/ Old man: "BECAUSE F**K YOU, THAT'S WHY!" / Header: But a genius is just an idiot, except at one or two activities.
/ Son: "You're a smart guy, but you were a terrible father!"
/ Dad:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1776#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: How to Tell the Difference / Header: Science fan
/ Woman: "How many digits of pi have you memorized?"
/ Man: "1,681. I add a new one every day." / Header: Scientist
/ Woman: "How many digits of pi have you memorized?"
/ Scientist: "... ... ... ...one?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1777#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "Wow! Second question. Could God make an argument so circular that even HE couldn't believe it?" / Caption: Apparently Bobby didn't appreciate my explanation of the Paradox of the Stone. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1778#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Superman is covered in blood and Batman stands behind him shocked ] / Caption: Noogying sidekicks is no longer allowed in the Hall of Justice. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1779#comic |
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