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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | God: "OH GEE, good question. Here, let me call the Nothingverse and see if nobody picks up. Hello? Hello? Well that's odd, no-"
/ Man: "Okay. I get it. Jeez." / Header: Moments prior...
/ Man: "God...why is there something instead of nothing?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1932#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Papercraft!
/ Make Your Own Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Flipbook / [ "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (Modified to account for change over time)" ] / [ A pyramid starting from the bottom up reads "physiological needs," "safety," "belonging," "self esteem," and "self actualization." ] / [ The... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1933#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "It's now sex! It's vagina-aided masturbation!" / Caption: I am no longer a monk. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1934#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | The Grinch: "What if Christmas...doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!" / [ Reveal that The Grinch is reading a bulletin board titled "Econforum." The first paper reads "Question: What if Christmas doesn't come from a store?" The second paper reads "Answer:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1935#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: For some reason, cats are associated with sexuality.
/ Woman in a cat costume: "Rar." / Header: But cats actually have fairly typical mammalian sex.
/ [ Two cats have sex ] / Header: As opposed to ducks who have huge genitals and notoriously weird aggressive sex.
/ [ A male duck angrily comes... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1936#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Mom, dad...I'm gay." / Dad: "How gay are we talkin'?" / Man: "6.4 homohns." / Dad: "That is within acceptable bounds."
/ [ He consults a graph showing 6.4 just on the other side of the top of the bell curve ] / Caption: There were some advantages to having engineering parents. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1937#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Icarus prepares to take off with Daedulus' wings ] / [ Icarus steps out of a window ] / Icarus: "It didn't f**king work!" / [ Icarus splats on the ground ] / Caption: Of course, the Tale of Icarus was somewhat revised before publication. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1938#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "What's the matter?"
/ Woman: "Nothing. What's the matter with you?"
/ Man: "Nothing." / Woman: "Woohoo! Nothing's wrong! We have the best marriage ever!" / Woman: "Man! Our marriage is way better now that I take everything literally." / Woman: "Does that bother you?"
/ Man: "...no."
/ Woman: "W... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1939#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Son (playing Monopoly): "If this were real money, we'd be rich!" / Economist: "If this were real money, counterfeiting would be easy! The exponentially increasing money supply would cause hyperinflation, and the suddenly unstable economy would result in manufacturers' decreasing production, driving... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1940#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Old Man: "I personally doubled the chlamydia rate among fat chicks at the nursing home, you patronizing bitch!" / Caption: I no longer call old men "adorable." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1941#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Ooh...you took off your shirt. How sensoral."
/ Man (thinking): "Wrong word! She means sensual! I should - NO! Don't correct her. You have a chance at sex!" / Woman: "Mmm...your lips are so erratic."
/ Man (thinking): "Erotic! Erotic! No! Say nothing! Ignore it!" / Woman: "I love a man whom's... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1942#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "We'll be performing a vivisection of your erection for detection of infection in connection with erection imperfection." / Caption: Sometimes I wish Dr. Seuss had an MD. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1943#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Scientist: "It wasn't easy, but we now have the ability to create a plasma forcefield." / Scientist: "It can withstand bullets, explosives, and temperatures up to 6,000 K." / Man: "Wow! How'd you get the billions in funding for it?" / [ The scientist frowns ] / Scientist: "You know how the President... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1945#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Robot: "It's not you, Sally, it's me. I'm a robot, and therefore incapable of love." / Woman: "I...I see..." / Woman: "Perhaps...someday in the future-"
/ Robot: "Still capable of sex though." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1946#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Sisyphus rolls a boulder up a hill ] / [ Sisyphus looks weary ] / [ Sisyphus looks shocked ] / Sisyphus: "Holy crap! Usually it rolls right back down and I have to start over! But this time it didn't!" / Sisyphus: "Huh. So what do I do with my life? I guess I should get a job." / Header: Soon...
/ Man:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1947#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Fear Itself
/ [ A graph with x-axis labeled "time" has a straight red line labeled "deaths attributable to kids' chemistry kits" and a downward sloping green line labeled "dangerousness of kids' chemistry kits." At the end of the graph where the two lines are parallel, there is an arrow labeled... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1948#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: In the Future...
/ Male Scientist: "If you travel back in time to change something, you get a paradox. If you change it in the past, you would never have gone back in time to change it." / Male Scientist: "So, there are only two ways to successfully time travel: either send someone so empty-headed,... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1949#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ There is a Venn Diagram with a pink circle, a blue circle, and purple where they overlap. The purple section is labeled "portion of these pie charts that is also the middle of a Venn diagram." ] / Caption: If you were a math nerd, you'd have had 3 orgasms by now. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1950#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The quality of Dr. Chaffin's science analogies diminished precipitously after his tenure / Professor: "Think of a star as like my penis." / Student: "So..." / Professor: "HUGE." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1951#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A lady's bare back features a tattoo that reads:
/ "Hope you're enjoying yourself. (complicated math problem) If you don't answer in 30 seconds, this ends." ] / Caption: Lady geeks have the best tattoos. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1952#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "He pulled the sword from the stone! He shall be king of all England!" / [ A declaration reads "Boy Pulls Sword From Stone! Representative Government Canceled." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1953#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Death Tip:
/ If you know you're about to die, make the most of it...
/ Old Man: "Got yer nose! And I'm taking it to the nether world! Hahahahaha!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1954#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: In evolution simulations, even simple machines develop lying and cheating.
/ Robot (to another robot): "Wanna trade batteries? Mine is wayyyyyyy too charged for me." / Header: It seems to be a given in evolution, which means it's a rule for any self-replicating system anywhere in reality.
/ Amoeba... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1955#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man looks at a secluded house on the top of a mountain ] / Man: "Wise old one...what is better: to create the perfect work or to live the perfect life?" / [ The wise old man ponders ] / Old Man: "May I see your work?" / [ The wise old man looks at the manuscript for "My Soul is a Vesper and Other... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1956#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "THanks to my invention, no longer will we scientists be limited by our imaginations." / Man: "This is the Logogeneplex!" / Man: "It inserts superfluous syllables directly iinto otherwise clear wording!" / [ He looks evilly at a whiteboard that reads, "we used a ruler."] / [ He shoots the whiteboard... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1957#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Every object you interact with is composed of atoms fused in the furnace of a star's blaze. All objects you will ever touch, no matter how simple...are starstuff." / Caption: Carl Sagan convinces his son to clean the cat shit. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1958#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man looks puzzled ] / [ He looks at a monkey paw ] / [ A note attached to the paw reads, "you may have anything you wish, but beware...all actions have consequences..." ] / Man: "I wish science terminology were more precise." / [ The one finger that was pointed up on the paw, goes down ] / [... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1959#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "It's average! It's actually a little above average! It's not my fault everyone always has unreasonable expectations! No! Don't leave! Come on!" / Caption: Fun Fact:
/ Superman hasn't had sex in 15 years. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1960#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Dear God...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, and also a ten inch dick." / Caption: Look, the first three things aren't gonna happen either. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1961#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Problem:
/ There are disproportionately few women in mathematics. / Header: Sensible Solution
/ Woman: "Can we try to remove the stigma of math as unfeminine?" / Header: Common Idea
/ Woman #2: "Can we make math pink?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1962#comic |
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