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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Why I Worry About Extended Longevity / Header: Before
/ Shakespeare: "This work...shall be my immortality." / Header: After
/ Man: "Living forever...shall be my immortality." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2299#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "It's called 'conspicuous consumption.' Thorstein Veblen proposed it in 1899." / Man: "The basic idea is that people spend wastefully and publicly to gain social status." / Woman: "So they put all this wasted effort into pointless things just for status?"
/ Man: "Yes." / Woman: "I'm glad we academics... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2300#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Alien Blob: "Bobby, my goodness! This universe has been left out so long there are BRAINS growing in it! Clean it out!" / Caption: Fortunately, humans will never know why the Universe ended. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2301#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The aliens believed they were the center of the Universe.
/ Alien: "Greetings, humans. We are the Zorblaxians: chosen people of the multiverse maker." / Header: We disagreed.
/ Man: "Oh, HA! We got over that chauvinism long ago. Each tribe believed it was central, but was wrong. We thought the... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2302#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ At the bottom of a continuous circle, a man puts toothpaste on his toothbrush; then checks his computer; eats breakfast; drives to work; looks drowsy at his work computer; looks more alert; looks drowsy again; drives; eats dinner; watches television; showers; and goes to sleep. All of those pictures... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2303#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ People bow to an atomic bomb ]
/ Man: "Your people worship atomic bombs?" / Man #2: "Yes." / Man: "Atom bombs destroyed the world! They're why civilization is gone and everyone's sick and the crops are all dead!" / Man: "Say...speaking of crops...what's for dinner tonight?" / Man #2: "Jello and... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2304#comic |
| Saturday morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: When Superman started out, he saved dozens of lives every day.
/ Superman: "Stop, crook!" / Header: The people were grateful.
/ [ He holds the Key to the City ] / Header: But soon it was realized that he could be saving many more lives.
/ Woman: "Instead of stopping criminals, how avout you transport... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2305#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Evolution leads to a man reading, "Paleo-cloning," whihc leads to all of the creatures before partying together ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2306#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: How Arguments Work in Your Head
/ Man: "Your arguments are flawless. You've overturned my ignorance. Thank you, sir." / Header: How Arguments Work in Reality
/ Man #2: "MY ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE IS LOUD!"
/ Man: "MINE IS LOUDER!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2307#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Priest: "Just imagine how fine-tuned the universe is! Why, if there weren't just the right composition of elements in Earth, we might not have tectonic plates! And then there'd hardly be any earthquakes at all!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2309#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man sits at his computer and types, "...you can't believe in evolution AND believe homosexuality is genetic." ] / [ He continues to type, "...Why would gay genes persist? As we all know, all human beings ever born are optimized for heterosexual procreation." ] / [ He finishes by typing, "...Anyway,... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2310#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I can't get any of the boys in algebra to do their freakin' homework!" / Man: "Why don't you sleep on it? I have a feeling things'll turn around." / Header: Later...
/ [ She sleeps as the man creeps out of the room ] / [ He writes on her papers ] / Header: The following week...
/ Woman: "WOW!... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2311#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: For years, we told ourselves this was the best of all possible worlds.
/ Woman: "It's not bad that we disagree. Having someone who just yessed everything I said would be boring." / Header: But when robotic technology advanced to the point of creating humanoids, it turned out we were all just... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2312#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Honey, Susie's feeling a little blue. Can you bring her an apple juice popsicle?" / Dad: "Hey, sweetie. What's the matter?"
/ Daughter: "Once we understand how reality works, what are the odds that it'll be something humans find satisfying?" / [ The dad pauses ] / [ The dad sits outside on the... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2313#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Stop being unhappy! There are people who have it worse than you!" / Man #2 (to Man): "Stop being unhappy! There are people who have it worse than you!" / Man #3 (to Man #2): "Stop being unhappy! There are people who have it worse than you!" / [ In a vicious cycle, everyone tells someone else,... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2314#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Bad ass activity #42: Using catch-phrases for unimportant occurrences / Woman: "Honey, could you wash some utensils before dinner?" / Man: "Oh...I was bound to..." / Man: "SPOONER OR LATER." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2315#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "May I interest you in some rough sex?" / Header: Later...
/ Woman: "You're having sex with my dresser."
/ Man: "That's ROUGHLY where you are!" / [ The woman scowls ] / Man: "Also, my penis is full of splinters now." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2316#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Of course."
/ [ He reads a piece of paper that reads "CAT-GAG" ] / Caption: The gene sequence for hairballing was beautiful in its simplicity. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2317#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Daughter: "Hello, dad. Since I have so much time on my hands, I've decided to become sexually active, beginning with a boy who will come over for dinner often, and whose political views are so wildly naive, you'll want to strangle him with his own Che Guevara t-shirt." / Caption: Sally convinced me... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2318#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I love you."
/ Woman: "No you don't." / Woman: "You're a temporary holographic representation of my husband. I'll be making use of you while he's away for the weekend." / Man: "But...I FEEL like I'm really your husband." / Woman: "That's your main appeal." / Man: "But if I feel like him, and... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2319#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Normal Person
/ Man: "Hooray, gambling!"
/ [ He stands with empty pockets ] / Header: Math Enthusiast
/ Man #2: "GAMBLING?! I GUESS YOU HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF STATISTICS?!' / Header: Mathematician
/ Man #3: "Hooray, gambling!"
/ [ He has a ton of chips ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2320#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Hey! If you dropped dead tomorrow, I wouldn't even THINK about going to your funeral!" / Woman #2: "Hm?" / Woman: "S-Sally?" / Woman #2: "My name's Rachel." / Header: Normal Person
/ Woman: "Oh my God. I am SO sorry." / Header: Geek
/ Woman: "Technically my statement is still valid!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2321#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: And again the boy cried wolf, and we came, but there was no wolf.
/ [ The boy grins as everyone around him frowns ] / Header: And again the boy cried wolf, and we came, but there was no wolf.
/ [ The boy grins as everyone around him frowns ] / Header: Until one day there really was a wolf and... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2322#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Old Man: "When I was growing up, things were better! You didn't have to work hard just to pay bills! You could poop wherever you liked and people would clean it up! And whenever you screamed, someone put boobs in your face, and FOOD came out of them." / Caption: All false nostalgia is essentially the... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2323#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Daughter: "You. People. Are. Disgusting." / Dad: "What was that about?" / Mom: "I was tired, and accidentally read her the "Where Do Babies Come From" picture book backward." / [ The man frowns ] / [ The man raises his eyebrows ] / Daughter: "So...the mommy eats a baby with her vagina and then she... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2324#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Why I have no friends, reason #1729:
/ Unimpressive Mindblowing Facts / Woman: "Did you know that the word 'recursion' contains the word 'recursion' in ITSELF?"
/ Woman #2: "Whoooa! That's amaz...you're an asshole." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2325#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A baby cries in his mother's arms as the dad smiles nearby ] / Caption: Babies don't shout "waaahhh!" when they're little. / They shout "whyyyyy!?" / You can't tell because they can't pronounce the hard "y" sound, but they're in a complete existential crisis. / It takes 2 to 3 years before they... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2326#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: I found out my cat was dying.
/ [ A cat lays on a vet's table ] / Header: He'd spent his whole life loafing around in a hedonistic haze.
/ [ The cat lays on the floor ] / Header: So I decided to give him the highlights of an ideal feline life in his final days.
/ [ The man picks the cat up by... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2327#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man (thinking): "Why is that woman scowling at me? Do I know her?" / Caption: If she loves you more each and every day, by linear regression she hated you before you met. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2328#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "What do you see in the clouds?" / Woman #2: "This is stupid! Everyone knows clouds are random moisture blobs. Claims of shapes are just reflections of what's on the mind of the claimer." / [ Both women lay back down on the grass and stare up at the sky ] / Woman: "I see a bitch." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2329#comic |
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