You're browsing the archives of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: What if scientists had the same standards as pundits? / Man: "But, how do you know the Earth is a cube?"
/ Man #2: "Well, I thought it once, then I thought it again. That's two data points right there." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2330#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The treatode infects a horn snail, castrates it, and uses its body to reproduce.
/ [ A snail is being infected ] / Header: There, it releases cercariae, which attach to killifish and burrow toward their brains.
/ [ A fish has one attached to its brain ] / Header: Once on the brain, they cause... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2331#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Look! This vein of silica forms a naturally occurring piece of optical fiber! If you put something on it, you can see its image at the other end, 40 meters away!" / Woman: "I wonder what strange magic the ancient people thought it held..." / header: 50,000 years earlier...
/ [ A cavewoman in a... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2332#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Dear Lord...Father Gerald says masturbation is bad, but I'm not sure. I'm going to watch some wholesome ladies volleyball now, and if you want me to masturbate, just give me a sign." / Header: Next Sunday...
/ Man: "And all of a sudden, my penis QUADRUPLED in size!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2333#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: We realized there was a lot of anger in the workplace.
/ Man: "STAY OUT OF MY CUBE! IT'S ALL I HAVE!" / Header: So we made a recreation room with punching bags hooked to dynamos.
/ [ A man punches one of the bags ] / Header: Within weeks, we were generating so much energy, we could sell it back... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2334#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Sex Technique #2718:
/ "The Ferrous Phallus" / Header: 1. Take a condom and carefully cut jagged slits on each side of the wrapper / Header: 2. When the time comes, grab the modified condom. / Header: 3. Without removing the wrapper, hold it high above your head dramatically. / Header: 4.... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2335#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Stop staring at me, creep!" / Old Man #1: "I'm not looking at you out of attraction." / Old Man #1: "The smile I'm wearing isn't for you. It's for the thought that even as time stretches on, there will always be pretty girls in the summertime." / Old Man #1: "It's no more sexual than my delight... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2336#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "The world is worse now?! Science is better. Tolerance is more widespread. Lifespans are-"
/ Old Man: "Oh, sorry. You should know, I've decided to identify all change as social decay." / Caption: I plan to be a self-aware old man. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2337#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: What you thought
/ Boy (thinking): "This anarchy shirt is gonna blow my parents' minds." / Header: What your parents thought
/ Dad (thinking): "Heeheehee! A 14-year old with a political ideology!"
/ Mom (thinking): "This is SO CUTE. I wonder if he'll mind if we take pictures..." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2338#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Why I Won't Join Your Movement: / [ A line graph with x-axis "members of a group," left y-axis "averagae IQ," and right y-axis "percent assholes" has a blue line start very high on the left y-axis and drop drastically with more members. There is also a red line that starts very low at the left... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2339#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Parrot: "RAAHHHK! My trained use of words and phrases in appropriate context is not fundamentally different from human communication which is ascribed to consciousness! RAAHHHK!" / Caption: The philosophy department is no longer allowed to keep pets. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2340#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "Grampa...how'd you get so ollld?" / Grampa: "Well..." / [ The grampa as a young man strolls along a street ] / [ He stops as two creatures - one green and one purple - stop him ] / [ The green creature is "Nature" and the purple is "Nurture" ] / [ Nature pokes the man's eyes ] / [ The man... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2341#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "What the hell is this?"
/ Man: "It's herbal tea! It's basically the same as tea, but better for you." / Woman: "Yeah, except it's made from completely different EVERYTHING."
/ Man: "It's similar! It's a hot drink in a cup! It's even called tea!" / [ The woman scowls ] / Header: Later
/ Woman:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2342#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Officer! My wife has been missing for three days, and today, I got a bloody ear in an envelope..."
/ Woman: "I'm sorry, I lost the thread of that. Your accent is just so adorable." / Caption: It must be hard being British in America. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2343#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Say you were walking outdoors, and you found a watch. And you opened the watch and found many intricately interacting parts, none of which made sense without the others? You would conclude there was a DESIGNER. Now, suppose the watch kept shocking you at random times, regardless of how good or... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2344#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Funtime Activity: Anti-Sexism
/ Man: "Woman! Get in the kitchen! I've put a number of Margaret Atwood novels in there, which we can read together as equals!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2345#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: There is only one day in your life when your age = 2x(your kid's age) + 0.75. Make the most of it.
/ Dad: "When I was your age, I was doin' your mom!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2346#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I'm a vegetarian because I don't like the idea of killing conscious beings for food." / Man #2: "But plant cultivation kills lots of small animals. Ranching destroys a smaller amount of large animals." / Man: "I guess the issue would be which approach kills the fewest neurons." / Man #2: "But... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2393#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: College Nihilist
/ Man: "Don't you guys get it? None of this matters! It's all pointless! I know because I've written four essays about it. Four!" / Header: Real Nihilist
/ Man #2: "I'm gonna make as much money as I can, and spend it on more money." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2394#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A helicopter pilot sees "HELP" spelled out on an island ] / [ The helicopter starts to land on the island ] / [ The helicopter crashes ] / Pilot: "AAAAAH!" / [ A giant sea creature emerges ] / Man: "I know I'm a jerk, but I could be a good person...if I were with you."
/ [ The woman he's talking... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2395#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Physics teacher: "As has often been noted, 'physics is to math as sex is to masturbation.'" / Man: "So, you're saying both fields are good, but without an attempt to understand the universe, the search for deeper mathematical truth is empty?" / Physics teacher: "I'm saying you'll spend most of undergrad... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2396#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "This story is about the shift in valuation of individual wealth vis-a-vis the transcendental in a post-plague Europe." / Header: 600 years earlier...
/ Woman: "This story is about how if you don't put coins out for elves, they'll fuck you in the night." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2397#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Good science teaching
/ Woman: "Every time you take a breath, you're breathing a few atoms that were once in Elvis' lungs." / Header: Fun science teaching
/ Woman: "Every time you drink water? Couple atoms of Charlemagne's balls!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2399#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The Adventures of the Clairvoyant Premature Ejaculator / [ A man watches a woman walk down the street ] / Man: "BWAAAAAAAAH OHHH YEAHHH..." / Woman: "What was that?!" / Man: "Four years from now. One night stand. You will be VERY disappointed." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2400#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it." / Son: "So, if we don't study history, it'll be bad because we won't see what's coming?" / Dad: "Right." / Son: "But then if we DO study history, we aren't doomed to repeat it. So, it was a waste of time to learn it in the first place." / Dad:... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2401#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man (thinking): "Wait a sec...did I close the windows so tightly that air can't get in? Oh God...I bet I did...and the whole family will suffocate by morning if I don't do something! But...it's so warm in these blankets..." / Caption: The sleepy brain: Dangerous because stupid. Safe because lazy http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2402#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Basis of romantic relationships: mutual acceptance
/ Man and Woman (thinking): "I love your quirks and foibles and struggles and secrets." / Header: Basis of parental relationships: mutual denial
/ Dad and daughter (thinking): "Never drove drunk, never enjoyed sex, never did drugs, never all of... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2403#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Old Woman: "Help! Help!" / Robber: "OH NO, IT'S...wait...you're not Superman." / [ The superhero punches the robber's head off ] / [ He flies away ] / [ A line graph with x-axis "time" and y-axis "crime rate while Clark Kent was 'Superman'" stays relatively straight ] / [ A line graph with x-axis... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2404#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: The first cryogenic patients were frozen too slowly
/ [ A man lays in a cryogenic chamber ] / Header: Ice crystals formed, rupturing too many cells for them to be unfrozen later
/ [ Ice crystals float among cells ] / Header: But seceral centuries hence, cell-repairing nanobots were circulated... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2405#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Titler: How Academics Call Something Boring (By Discipline) / Header: Philosopher
/ Woman: "That's elementary." / Header: Mathematician
/ Man: "That's trivial" / Header: Physicist
/ Man #2: "That makes sense." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2406#comic |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 >>