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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Son: Daddy, what'd you get me for Christmas?"
/ Dad: Son, come on now. You're better than that. Christmas isn't about gifts." / Dad: "Gifts are just a medium used to express feelings." / Dad: "Like this year, I got mommy's mommy a holiday emblem that isn't compatible with her religious views. It's not... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2620#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Senator, what's your stance of gay marriage?"
/ Man: "It shouldn't be allowed. I mean...How do we explain that to our children?" / Woman: "Got it. So your code of ethics is to oppose things that are hard to explain to kids." / Man: "Well, I don't-"
/ Woman: "Nope, that's fine! Got it, thanks!" / [front... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2622 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [man and woman stand next to each other in a giant blue dome]
/ Man: Personal injury case in sector 6.283T
/ Woman: On it. I can reach the surface within 2.4 hours. / Caption: What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the sea? Atlantis II. If you tell anyone, you die. http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2623 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Ethics gets weird when you try to account for future results / [man looks unhappy while he reads a piece of paper]
/ Paper: Lives saved by Batman = B. Therefore, lives saved the people who killed Batman's parents = (B - 2) http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2624 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: Sy you could step inside a hallucination machine where you would experience perfect please as long as you live. Would you do it? / [man looks angry]
/ Man: I would not. Because I want to experience reality, with all its ups and downs and comedies and tragedies. Better to try to glimpse the blinding... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2625 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [Graph. The y axis is labeled "creepiness", the x axis is labeled "Time spent staring at a woman's breast". The line starts at the bottom, and a point is labeled "acceptable". The line ascends quickly, and a point is labeled "uncomfortable". The lines rises more and then plateaus. A point on the plateau... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2626 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [woman stands in front of chalk board, holding a piece of chalk. Writing on the chalk board is "Teach the Controversy"]
/ Woman: A lot of people believe in evolution. Others believe we couldn't just come from random chance. Rather than pick sides, I'm gong to "Teach the Controversy" / Boy: "That's not... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2627 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [Woman comes running into room. People are sitting around a table.]
/ Woman: "Quick! I need a term that actually means something very small, but which people think means something large and significant!" / [Woman at podium]
/ Woman: "This policy represents a quantum leap in education reform!" http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2628 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "We're prepared to offer double his most recent signing bonus." / Woman: "Double? His writing is 60% of your sales for the next ten years. I could get double from my FUCKING GRANDMA. TRY AGAIN." / Man: "Listen, we were the only ones who would publish him in the first place! Without us he has no... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2629 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [Man looks sad]
/ Man (thinking): Should I spend another year in this job I hate...or should I take this new possibility with all the risk in entails. / Man: "What do you say, inner child?"
/ Inner child: "You should watch cartoons and eat a mountain of cookies." / Man: "Okay...what do you say, inner... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2630 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [Man and woman are dressed in victorian clothing]
/ Man: "Marie...before we go any further...I should tell you...I have bodily functions." / Woman: "What? But Charles-"
/ Man: "Some of them are pooping!" / Woman: "How many?!"
/ Man: "I don't know! At least one..." / Woman: "DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU CHARLES!... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2631 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [man in future like costume stands in a machine labeled "TIME"]
/ Man: "I want to see what future humans look like! Since only the fittest reproduce, I bet we'll all be musclebound supergeniuses." / Header: 10,000 years later...
/ Future Human: "We're basically the same, except 95% of us have a condom-breaking... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2632 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [Man holds little boy hostage with a gun. A woman points a gun at the man]
/ Man: "Gimme the password or the boy dies!" / Woman: "I've implanted a chip in his brain that alters his perception of time." / Woman: "So, if a projectile breaks his skin at a kinetic energy that is likely to cause death, the... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2633 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Sociology is not perfect.
/ [a newspaper headline reads: "Human nature gleaned via survey study of six wealthy American college students"] / Header: But it merits investment. Climatology is also tough, but you like knowing the weather.
/ [woman reads a weather report on the computer that reads:... http://smbc-comics.com/?id=2634 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A boy walks down the street while whistling ] / [ He is about to be hit in the back by an arrow ] / [ When the arrow hits his, he grows pimples and wild yet sporadic facial hair ] / [ A cherubid man with wings smiles as he holds his quiver full of arrows. The banner in front of him reads "Pubid."... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2654#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: Rabbi, why is there something and not nothing?" / Rabbi: "We believe the universe was created at a certain point in time by a divine being called "God." / Boy: "So he made high speed asteroids?"
/ Rabbi: "Yes." / Boy: "And gamma ray bursts?"
/ Rabbi: "Yes." / Boy: "And made most of the universe... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2655#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: A "while loop" is a computing term that describes a loop that keeps cycling while a condition is met. / [ A chart shows an arrow that leads to a box labeled "condition." A line labeled "false" leads off screen, while a line labeled "true" leads to a box labeled "statement," which leads to an... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2656#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I had two men sexually interested in me, but I couldn't decide. So I fired a photon through a plate that randomly reflects or transmits light. If it reflected, the machine summoned the first man. If it transmitted, the second man was summoned. With the lights out, I had sex with the man who showed... http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2657#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I'm sorry I'm never in the mood these days."
/ Man: "It's okay. I built this time machine so, any time I want, I can travel to that time you were really turned on." / Header: June 9, 2006
/ Woman (running away from several different men that are all the Man from different times): "AAAH!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=15412comic |
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