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| girl: Wow! I thought drinking rubbing alcohol would make you go blind... / clark kent/superman: Only if you mean blind with FLAVOR! / Clark Kent was a precocious lad. | |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: Congratulations! It's a boy! / Man: What?! You said you were getting an eye exam! / Woman: TeeHee! / Caption: On the plus side, the last forty-seven hours suddenly made a whole lot more sense. http://smbc-comics.com/ |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Arguments that don't work in court: / Man: "I prefer sex DEfender." http://smbc-comics.com/#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | I narrowly managed to win the staring contest. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Daughter: Mom, you shaved my head.
/ Mother: Hey, how was I supposed to know that Prom is tomorrow?
/ Daughter: Prom is TOMORROW?
/ Mother: Shut up! / CAPTION: I like to think I'm a patient mother, but honestly, do we have to have the same discussion every single year? http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Chason: You Goth girls are so full of it
/ I don't care how dark you think you are...
/ Every girl loves... / KITTENS! / Girl:! / Girl: I love kittens!
/ CHason: You see, that's-
/ Girl: BUT THEY WILL NEVER LOVE ME... http://smbc-comics.com/?db=comics_chason&id=-1 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Chason: And that's why women deserve more respect in the workplace. / Girl: Are you reading a playboy during our date? / Chason: Woman! Does this look like the office!? http://smbc-comics.com/?db=comics_chason&id=1 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: Honey! It's Bruce! / Woman: The milkman who definitely isn't sterile? / Man: Yeah... / Bruce: OH YEAH! / Meanwhile... / Priest: Now to finish the job! / Baby Moloch: What the? http://smbc-comics.com/?db=comics_moloch&id=-1 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | ORPHANAGE / Basket: FREE BABY / Priest: I'll never understand it. / Note: FREE BABY!
/ VERY LITTLE USE. ONLY
/ 7 Or 8 months
/ old (?) Name
/ is Moloch. / Priest: How someone can just give up a beautiful little baby. / THE PREVIOUS DAY...
/ Woman: I'm just saying you should try being more spontaneous. That's all. / Man: Spontaneous. Eh? http://smbc-comics.com/?db=comics_moloch&id=1 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Zach:Luke! I am your father! / Zach (Imitating Luke): No! That's not true! That's impossible! / Zach: Oh? Well, lets just see what Princess Amidala has to say about that. http://smbc-comics.com/?db=comics_old&id=1 |
| Vince Invincible | Vince is invincible / Vince smokes, but he's invincible, so it's okay. / Teachers hate it. But, what can they do?
/ < http://smbc-comics.com/?db=comics_vince&id=1 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Zach: *sigh* / [[Zach walks over to the bar]] / Zack: HEINEKEN, PLEASE / [[Zach rubs his chin in thought.]] / Zach: WAIT A MINUTE. / Zach: WHAT IF... / [[Zach actually eats his own face!!!]] / Woman: HI, I'M BACK. I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE FOR RUNNING OFF LIKE THAT. I REALIZE YOU'RE PROBABLY BRAIN DAMAGED OR SOMETHING, AND JUST TRYING TO BE NICE. / [[Faceless Zach turns and smiles to Woman.]] / [[Closeup of Woman's horrified face.]] http://smbc-comics.com/?db=comics_zyoa&id=-1 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Two times two is three. / Wrong again mutant! / [[Doctors said Horton was blessed with an unusually large functional brain. Sadly, it was later discovered that two-thirds of his oversized cranium were occupied by little-known "Stupid Lobe."]] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=001#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Caption: Doctors said Horton was blessed with an unusually large functional brain. Sadly, it was later discovered that two-thirds of his oversize cranium was occupied by the little known "Stupid Lobe."
/ High school was a nighmare. / Horton: 2x2 is 3. / Woman/Teacher: Wrong again, Mutant! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Narrator: Doctors said Horton was blessed with an unusually large functional brain. Sadly, it was later discovered that two-thirds of his oversized cranium was occupied by the little known "Stupid Lobe." High School was a nightmare / [[A man with glassed and an enlarged, wrinkly head sits in a desk facing a smiling woman wearing a sweater and holding an open book.]]
/ Horton: 2x2 is 3
/ Woman: Wrong again mutant! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Chason: And that's why women deserve more respect in the workplace. / Woman: Are you reading a Playboy during our date? / Chason: WOMAN! DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE OFFICE!? http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_chason&id=1 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [[An orphanage with a silhouetted figure running away from a basket]] / [[A close up of the basket]]
/ Basket Text: FREE BABY / Priest: I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT. / Note: FREE BABY! VERY LITTLE USE. ONLY 7 or 8 months old (?) Name is Moloch. / Priest: HOW SOMEONE CAN JUST GIVE UP A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BABY. / Title: THE PREVIOUS DAY...
/ Woman: I'M JUST SAYING YOU SHOULD TRY BEING MORE SPONTANEOUS, THAT'S ALL. / Man [[Thought Bubble]]: SPONTANEOUS, EH? http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_moloch&id=1 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Caption: Actually, there isn't anything inside a container of Manpons. Men just enjoy sending out their wives to pick up a box. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Chason presents dating tips! / Episode 1: How to hook up! / Step 1: Find yourself a girl with potential! / Woman 1: I'm clinically depressed. / Chason: I'm clinically sexy! / Step 2: Liquor! / Chason: You're drunk! / Woman 1: You're attractive! / Step 3: Wake up before she does! / Letter: I stop some of your silverware -Chason' / Step 4: Repeat step 1! / Woman 2: I need a green card. / Chason: I'm clinically sexy! / Chason: This has been an episode of Chason presents. Tune in next time for "why the baby isn't yours!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_chason&id=2 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Priest: No. I just don't get it. When will people realize that all of God's creatures are - / GAH! / THE FOLLOWING SUNDAY / Priest: My flock, all of God's creatures are beautiful. / Except for this hideous baby! / I mean, I've heard that God can take a mulligan from time to time, but GEEZ! / I mean GEEZ! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_moloch&id=2 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [[Student at a desk raises his hand]]
/ Student: Professor?
/ Professor: Yes?
/ Student: Are we ever going to use any of this? / Professor: Why of course! Irish literature of the 1430s is useful both for reading more Irish literature of the 1430s, as well as teaching people about Irish literature of the 1430s. / Student: Are you sure it isn't just to increase your vocabulary so you can be snooty to others?
/ Professor: Silence, you infradig blepharon! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_old&id=2 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | This is Doctor Vanasi. / He wants to vivisect Vince for his powers. / But scalpels don't work on Vince.* / Dr. Vanasi: HA! HA! HA!
/ *Neither do bullets / Dr. Vanasi is not a real doctor.
/ MASTER'S DEGREE http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_vince&id=2 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Nerd: MAGIC MISSILE! / *wiggle wiggle* / Caption: As it turns out, playing "Dungeons and Dragons" does not lead adolesents to murder, but not for lack of trying. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=3 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | BACK HOME...
/ Woman: Hrm... / Something's amiss... / Man: chortle chortle... / Woman: Alright mister. Just what are you giggling about? / Man: Okay! I totally abandoned our kid at the orphanage with that priest who's always calling babies ugly! / ! / ! / Both: GAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA / Man: C'mon, I'll show you what I did to our daughter! / Woman: Ya know, I DO remember birthing a girl! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_moloch&id=3 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Vince goes to public school
/ Now, I'm not saying Hank Williams was a vampire, but.... / Vince sits next to Susie, the prettiest girl in town. / Vince: Slut. / Susie: Mittens! / Vince wishes he had laser vision! / Teacher: My innards! They perish! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_vince&id=3 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Indian Chief: There is an old saying among my people: "Get out of my tipi Jeff, you smell bad." / The Chief felt bad about lying to Jeff, but he knew deep down it was the best thing he could do for the continued good smell of his home. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=4 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: Wow! You put our daughter through med school. That was very generous! / Man: Well, she's a good kid. / Woman: I just worry we're treating her better than baby Moloch... / Priest: THE LORD FORGIVES ALL! THE LORD FORGIVES ALL! / Man: I guess I've never felt...connected to him... / Woman: Well, hun, he's only - / *knock knock* / Bruce: Milk man! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_moloch&id=4 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Carl: That's odd... / Caption: Carl had just unwittingly stepped into "The Twilight Zone."
/ Fortunately, this was the area of "The Twilight Zone" where the only oddity was that walnuts tasted a little more like hazelnuts. / He later went mad due to unrelated circumstances. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=5 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: Honey! It's Bruce! / Woman: The milk man who definitely isn't sterile? / Man: Yeah... / Bruce: OH YEAH! / MEANWHILE... / Priest: Now to finish the job! / What the? http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_moloch&id=5 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: Will you-
/ Woman: Yes Tom, of course! / Caption: The "shut your trap" ring was going over surprisingly well. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=6 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: Play for second? http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=7 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Hamlet: You may now be the royal King of Danes, But I am Hamlet, undead King of PAIN! / Caption: Hamlet II was actually better than the original depsite a number of plot holes, most of them related to time travel. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=8 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Cindy: Welcome to the first meeting of our new wildlife club! / Caption: Cindy could never account for the unpopularity of Club Baby Seals. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=9 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Darth Vader: I am your father! / Luke SKywalker: That's great dad. Hey, you think maybe you could've told me that before you cut my arm off? / Caption: After he lost his other arm, Luke began to see his father's point of view. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=10 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [[Darth Vader, wielding his light saber, stands over Luke Skywalker who is hanging from a ledge angrily pointing at the severed stump of his right arm.]]
/ Darth Vader: I AM YOUR FATHER!
/ Luke Skywalker: THAT'S GREAT DAD. HEY, YOU THINK MAYBE YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE YOU CUT MY ARM OFF?
/ {The word Before in Luke's speech is underlined} / Narrator: After he lost his other arm, Luke began to see his father's point of view. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=10#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | King Arthur: Hey, look guys! It was in my pocket all along! / Caption: And thus ended the great Quest for the Holy Grail. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=11 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Leprechaun: Sorry laddy, but there be no gold here! / Caption: This was the "painful bowel obstruction" end o' the rainbow. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=12 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Sign: If you go in here you will definitely die. / Caption: In retrospect, the gate seemed oddly foreboding. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=13 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: Are you divine insperation?
/ Whiskey: Nope, I'm whiskey. Time to puke http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=14 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Pirate Captain: "Stop digging, you idiots! The map says X marks the spot, not X with a plant next to it!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=15 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Jeremy: But professor, what about transcendental deconstructionism? / Professor: Jeremy, what does the board say? / The board: NOBODY CARES http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=16 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Caption: "Ohhh, you said liver transplant. I thought you said liver amputate my arms because I never pay my bills on time." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=17 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Moloch: I am Moloch, god of fire! / Man: Welcome to America Moloch. Your new name is Marty Gershwin. / Moloch: Marty Gershwin, god of fire? / Man: No. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=18 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Headless Horseman: Mom, I can't just cut off anyone's head and wear it. I have to wait for the right one to come along. / Woman: Mother: That's fine sweetie. It's just that I'd like to see my son's face before I die. / Headless Horseman: You always do this! / Caption: Eventually, the headless horseman settled on the head of an overbearing elderly woman. It was kind of odd at first, but it kept his mom quiet. Dead quiet. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=19 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Caption: We found Waldo, but it was too late. He was already one of them. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=20 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Hamburglar: Robble robble!
/ Zombie: Braaains.
/ Hamburglar: Robble, robble!
/ Zombie: Braaains! / Caption: Nominating The Hamburglar as ambassador to Zombie Island was rapidly proving to be a mistake. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=21 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Fabio: One for you,
/ One for me,
/ One for you,
/ One for me... / Caption: Fabio makes dinner. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=22 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: EEEE! / Gorilla: GRAHHH! / Ted: Oh my God everyone! A sale at Macy's! / Sign: Macy's 50% off / Caption: Ted thought he was being ironic. Then a giant gorilla fell on him. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=23 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | SMBC ANIME THEATER! / James: Isn't it pathetic when cartoonists change their style purely to attract new demographics? / Zach: Yes James, yes it is. / James: Look out! It's Anime Ninja Schoolgirl! / Zach: We must have an obnoxiously long kung fu fight! / James: Feng shui! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics_old&id=23 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: LIFE ! I HAVE CREATED LIFE ! / Man: I hate when he does this. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=24 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Lois Lane: ...and I'll never forget his last words to me: "For the sake of all mankind, don't ever tell anyone that I was Clark Kent." / Caption: Lois Lane finally gets that Pulitzer. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=25 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Father: Ya see son, a good woman is like a deep fried chimpanzee.
/ Son: Dad rarely bothered to explain his metaphors to me. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=26 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Caption: Ed occasionally had attacks of conscience, but deep down he knew it was the right thing to do. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=27 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: You're peeing on me! I can't believe you're peeing on me! / Man: "What's the problem? Don't you ever bathe?!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=28 |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Raven: Deeeath...Death for you...Tooodd...Probably with a knife...A kniiife... / Caption: The raven was remarkably articulate, but Todd simply didn't believe in talking birds. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=29 |
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