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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Batman: You're seriously using kryptonite bullets?! That's Superman's weakness you idiot! Ahahaha! GHACK Ha! / Caption: So, yeah, the funeral will be on Friday.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Quarterback: OH YEAH! / Caption: It wasn't the play we'd rehearsed, but before you knew it, I was wide open in the end zone.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Robotic man: This really isn't where I wanted to be at age 40! / Robotic boss: Get back to work you idiot! / Caption: In 2011, in a bid to appeal more to adult audiences, Disneyland replaces "It's a Small World" with "It's a Cold And Unforgiving Hell."
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Mother: Sweetie, please try to sleep. There's no man in your closet. See, there's the corpse of the guy who was there. But now he's dead, so you can relax.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: Listen, it's not anything anyone did. I think we've both just changed a lot, you know? For example, I now hate you.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Todd: I was hoping you could, like, lose some weight... / Caption: Todd's wedding vows were less than inspired.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Caption: Todd was really bad with spoons.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Dad: Mouth closed. / Gun: click / Caption: I know my parenting seems a little unorthodox, but I'm sorry, the 9 milimeter just wasn't getting the job done.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Billy: Checkmate Mr. Kasparov! / Kasparov: Amazing! / Caption: None of the other children could match Billy's ability to say "Checkmate."
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Mother: Sweetie, I know it's not the nightlight you wanted, but Daddy spent all weekend making it, so you'll just have to learn to like it, okay? / Nightlight: YOU WILL DIE SOON
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Husband: I can't beleive after 14 years of marriage I catch you cheating on me! / Wife: Would you Relax? I Told you I was hoping you were dead!
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone who doesn't believe in this! / Necklace: I SMELL / Caption: What if it wasn't a cross that Jesus was put on?
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Turboman: You'll never stop me, Doctor Apocalypse! / Doctor Apocalypse: Oh we'll just see about that Turbo-Jerk! AHA! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! / Caption: Turboman killed a whole lot of toddlers before Doctor Apocalypse was able to stop him.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay! I'll do it! / Man: H-R-R-R-GH! H-R-R-R-GH! / Caption: "And that, son, is how I convinced your mother to marry me."
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Jehovah's Witness: Yeh?! Well how about now?! Huh?! / Caption: The Jehovah's Witnesses have gotten a lot more converts this year.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Father: But I don't wanna kill my family... No!... No I shouldn't. I-I'll just watch a little TV. Yeah. That's it. Nice relaxing TV... / Caption: Just do it.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Lawyer:And my client will contend that he in fact said "I due" - D-U-E. / Gasp! / Caption: And that's why I don't pay child support!
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Parole Board: And what would you do if released? / Toddler-Eatin' Ted: Eat your children! / Caption: The probation board found Toddler-Eatin' Ted's honesty very refreshing.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Father: Hey wait! I'm not dead! / Caption: Once again, dad was Ruining the funeral.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Mother: Grr-rr-rr-rr.. / Caption: We couldn't afford braces growin up, so after school mom would take us aside and just glower at our teeth for hours on end.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: You know, once I got over the occasional obnoxious outbursts, you're actually a pretty good date. / Man: FAT!
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man/Husband: I must've married the most wonderful woman in the world! / Sheila: Awww... / Caption: Sheila loves hearing me compliment my wife.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Little Girl: Bobby at school said I was ugly Daddy! / Father: Sweetie, don't let that bother you. Lots of people think you're ugly / Caption: I started to protest, but his list was rather extensive
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Magician: What the? / Caption: This was definitely not the ace of spades.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Grandpa: In my day, we got birthday PUNCHES with BRASS KNUCKLES! / Mother: Oh Dad, you did not. / Caption: Mom smiled down at me softly as she gingerly tightened another layer of linen around her fist.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Test Page: Are you a doctor?" / Options on the test: / []Yes. / []No. / []The Duodenum! / Caption: Getting into med school has gotten a lot harder these days.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Grandfather: Wait... whose death am I avenging now? / Woman/Mom: Yours! For the last time yours! Who else would it be?! / Grandfather: Who are you?! / Caption: We all kind wished grandpa had been brutally murdered Before he went senile.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man/Husband: But how could you be pregnant if I've been gone for a year? / Woman/Wife: But you've been home for six months now! / Man/Husband: No I haven't! I... wait a minute! / Woman/Wife and Man/Husband: FRAAANK! / Frank: Hyuh hyuh! / Caption: My twin brother's a funny guy. Fun-ny. Shame about his accident.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Lawyer: Okay, let's say my client killed his wife. What about the people he didn't kill?! That's six billion people! Don't they matter? Don't they matter?! / Caption: In an alternate universe, Jeffrey Dahmer has a thank you parade every year.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal ~SMBC Presents~ / What's the difference? / (Answer on bottom) / Two pictures of psycho pouring acid on ducklings. / Caption (upside-down) "A: Now you're a bad person!"
 

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