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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!" / [ He drives over the cliff at the Grand Canyon ] / Caption: Dad hated it when we cheated at Car Bingo.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=421#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal [ A doctor holds a cut out heart with "hysterectomy!" written on it to a woman ] / Caption: What made this moment more awkward was that Valentine's Day wasn't for another seven months.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=422#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Mom: "Sweetie, we know you wanted a pony, but money's been pretty tight this year, so we went with a gift a little more in our price range." / Caption: [ A box has "nothing!" written inside ]
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=423#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man (holding a sack of kittens): "You wanna know why I'm a vegan?! Because animals feel PAIN, okay?! Don't believe me?! Huh?!! Well I'll show YOU!" / Caption: Ultimately, I felt compelled to agree to his argument. / Frankly, I would've agreed with just about anything to get him to stop beating me with that sack of kittens.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=424#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "What the hell are you doing!?" / Parking Attendant (shooting out the man's tire): "Read the sign, sir." / Caption: [ A sign reads "Do not back up: Sever tire damage" ]
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=425#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Professor: "My God! You've proven Riemann's Hypothesis! You're not even a trained mathematician, are you?" / Man: "Just the janitor, sir." / Professor: "No family or friends in the field?!" / Man: "I don't have any friends or family..." / Professor: "REALLY?!" / Caption: Like most mathematics award acceptance speeches, Dr. Anderson's focused mainly on why we should stop looking for the janitor's body.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=428#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman (smashing a man over the head with a lamp): "This is because of the cheating!" / Caption: Suzette had a fairly unique way of apologizing.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=429#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: "Daddy...I'm pregnant." / Man: "Where is the filthy bastard who did this to you?" / Caption: You'd think after five years dad would have accepted my marriage to Todd.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=430#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Vampire: "And there will be a ten per cent decrease in the tax on the blood of innocent maidens!" / Caption: Many of us felt Senator von Fangula was just pandering to his constituency.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=431#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "Ooh, honey. You hit him pretty hard." / Woman: "Oh my God." / Man: "It's okay I'll leave a note." / Woman: "O-kay." / [ Man write a note with insurance information ] / [ Man whistles and leaves the note. ] / [ Pull back to reveal an old man with a bumper sticking out of him and the note in his jacket collar. ]
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=432#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Bride: "Oh darling! This was the best day of my life!" / Groom; "Me too! Let's get married here again on our first anniversary!" / Bride: "Oh what a romantic idea!" / Caption: Imagine my embarrassment when Steve showed up a year later without his own new spouse.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=433#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Header: SMBC Presents: / Parenting - The Right Way / Episode 1 - Avoidin' Those Tears / Header: Wrong Way / Dad: "Kids, I shot mom." / Header: Right Way / Dad: "Kids, I shot mom...and ICE CREAM came out!" / Kids: "YAYYYYY!"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=434#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Princess: "Prince Charming!" / Prince: "Actually, I'm technically only a half-prince. It's really quite a funny story. You see..." / Caption: Slowly, but surely, Sleeping Beauty began to realize she couldn't feel her legs.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=435#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Hooded figure: "Good GOOD! The time draws ever closer!" / Caption: Soon the fish sticks would be done.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=436#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "Susan and I had a wonderful thirty years together. But, I know she wouldn't want is to dwell on death, but to focus on life. On...the future. Isn't that right, Shelly?" / Caption: It was at this point that the wedding music began.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=437#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Creepy man: "Now that I am King of Happy Land, fun shall be outlawed!" / Happy Landers: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" / Caption: In Happy Land, "fun" is slang for absinthe.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=438#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Dad (brandishing a chainsaw): "Billy-you-better-not-have-any-more nightmares-ever!" / Caption: It turns out that this technique doesn't really work. / Good thing I never used it on my own kids.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=439#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Serial killer: "Wow, really? Heaven? After all those teens I slashed?" / Saint Peter: "What? Oh right, you guys are still using that mistranslated ten commandments. Here." / Caption: [ A stone tablet reads "5: Honor thy father and mother...by slashin' more teens!" ]
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=440#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "Two coins? What the hell am I supposed to do with this?!" / Voice: "Huzzah!" / Caption: Now and then, just for fun, Robin Hood likes to switch things up a little.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=441#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal [ Three boys are standing under a sign that reads "Russian Roulette Club (No one under 4th grade allowed) ] / Dad: "Oh my GOD! What are you idiots doing?!" / Caption: Shaking his head, his look of embarrassment barely disguised, dad flipped the safety to the off position.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=442#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "Well...it goes against my parental ethics, but okay. It's a deal. You can see that PG-13 movie." / Caption: With a triumphant smirk, Billy agreed to share his meth with me.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=443#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Old Woman: "Joseph, do you think you'll EVER settle down?" / Old Man: "Oh Gwen. You know I only have one true mistress - my stable of sluts." / Caption: Specifically, Joseph was referring to stable 4.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=444#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Hooded figure: "HAHAHAHAHAH! Welcome to your worst nightmare! Over the course of the next 13 hours, the walls will slowly close in until you are crushed to - HEY! Stop it! That door's supposed to be locked! Hey! Come on! Stop it! Please?!"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=445#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal [ "Presidents are great!" is carved into a mountain ] / Caption: Personally, I like the new Mount Rushmore a lot better.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=446#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "Son, women are like fine wine." / Caption: This advice would have been less worrisome if dad hadn't spent the last 17 hours smashing Pinot Grigio with a sledgehammer yelling "This is what you get! This is what you get!"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=447#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: "Wait! Do you have a-" / Batman (holding up a black bat-shaped object): "No need!" / Caption: The bat-diaphragm is 0% effective at preventing bat-pregnancy.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=448#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Dad: "Son, we have something to tell you...you were...adopted." / Caption: Apparently, I would be meeting my new parents that afternoon.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=449#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "So doc, what is it?" / Doctor: "Oh I'm just itchin' to tell you!" / [ Doctor looks excited ] / [ Doctor looks excited ] / [ Doctor looks excited ] / [ Doctor looks a little less excited ] / Man: "So..." / Doctor: "You have herpes."
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=450#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal [ A man stabs another through the head ] / Caption: I narrowly managed to win the staring contest.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=451#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal [ Shakespeare writes "oh yes it's ladies night and the feelin's right" ] / Caption: For centuries many of Shakespeare's finest works were unappreciated.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=452#comic
 

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