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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Mr. President, I'm sorry to interrupt, but the aliens have struck again. Oregon is...gone."
/ President: "Well I guess I won't count on their votes! Ahahahaha! Bam!"
/ Man: "Sir, 4 million people are dead."
/ President: "Uh, YEAH, that was the JOKE." / Caption: At this point, I decided to cut the live feed. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=483#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Superman: "Sure I save the world from time to time, but the real superheroes are the working men - the people who show up ever day to put food on the table to feed their families."
/ Man: "That's...that's so beautiful..." / Caption: Lex Luthor had a much easier time killing all the "real" superheroes. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=484#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "My brother's wife whom I secretly impregnated!" / Caption: I'm not allowed in the family charade games any more. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=485#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "President Zorblax - what do you say to allegations that you are a gigantic space eel bent on world domination?"
/ President Zorblax: "KWEEEGH!!!"* / Caption: *Translation: No comment. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=486#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "No Space Ace! Don't! It's suicide!" / Space Ace: "Don't you think I know that?!" / Header: Later / [ Space Ace hangs from a noose. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=487#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Grandpa: "Personally, I'm opposed to it." / Caption: One of the more awkward parts of being raised by my Grandpa was the menstruation talk. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=488#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Congratulations!" / Woman: "I'm not pregnant!" / Man: (thinking) "Oh God! Oh God! Quick, save it!" / Man: "On being so fat!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=489#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: (thinking) "Giving me the evil eye, eh? Well, you're braver than I thought, old man." / Caption: I was subsequently informed that Mr. Henderson had one glass eye, and was probably not even aware of the game "Chicken." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=490#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "Taciturn: S-N-I-P-E-R. Taciturn." / Caption: Billy wins the spelling bee. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=491#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Two boxers punch the referee.] / Caption: It's a shame the league couldn't come to an agreement with the referee's union.
/ Though, personally, I like the new rules boxing a lot better. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=492#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Man gets a tattoo. ] / Man: "What the?!" / Man: "Grrrrr!" / Man: "You got lucky." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=493#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Sweetie, I know you couldn't get a date for the prom, so I designed you a robot boyfriend who is programmed to love you no matter what."
/ Robot: "Hello Amy. Would you do me the honor of EWWW! Is there a FACE somewhere under all the acne?!" / Caption: I was later made aware that Amy had just gotten off the phone with her new prom date. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=494#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Handi-Man: "See! I'm a quadriplegic, but I can still move around like an able-bodied person!" / Caption: Many of the superfriends were dubious of Handi-Man's claim to super powers. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=495#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Oh my God!"
/ Man: "Baby, it's not what it looks like! In fact...in fact YOU'RE cheating on ME." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=496#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Magician: "Is...THIS your card?"
/ Man: "Wow! Right again!" / Caption: One thing that really improved my magic skills was carrying the revolver in my off hand. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=497#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Priest: "My son, we only have a few minutes before it's...your time. Have you said your buttfer today?"
/ Man: "What's a buttfer?"
/ Priest: "For poopin'! Hahahahaha! Yes! Nobody EVER falls for that!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=498#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Guarding all that gold yourself, little girl? What is your power?"
/ Girl: "I can make puppies appear anywhere!"
/ Man: "Bahahaha!" / [ Man scratches his chest. ] / Man: "ARRGH!" / [ Girl smiles ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=499#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Homeless Ted hold a sign that reads, "Will work for sign that just says, "Will work for food."" ] / Caption: "That's it," thought Homeless Ted, "climb that ladder..." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=500#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Ninja: "For your transgressions against nature, Mr. Brinkley, you have paid the ultimate price! Now Master Chang's soul may rest in peace!"
/ Man: "But I never killed anyone! And my name is Smith!"
/ Ninja: "Oh...well. You ever do anything bad?"
/ Man: "Uh...I once stole a box of honey buns from the drugstore?"
/ Ninja: "...and for that, you perish." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=501#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Look sweetie, your mom sent a present and - whoops! I dropped it on the floor! Oh my! It's full of scorpions and pictures of clowns - your two biggest fears! Why would anyone do that?!" / Caption: When you only get one weekend of custody a month, you have to make it count. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=502#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "So then, you're of the opinion that we should just be friends?" / Caption: Lawrence exhibited similar behavior when I was of the opinion that it was his turn to pay for dinner. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=503#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "She left you? For who? NOBODY?! She just DUMPED you? Ahahaha! So what're you callin' me for? So I can send you a shirt that says "loser" on the front?" / Caption: My employment at the suicide hotline was brief. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=504#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Cave painting on wall depicts a crudely drawn single panel comic which reads as follows:
/ Man: "Pag killed mammoth."
/ Caption: Pag had not killed mammoth. ] / Caption: Prehistoric single panel comics were a lot less predictable. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=505#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Oh my GOD! It's like Y2K all over again!" / Caption: Steve hated how nothing ever happened to him. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=506#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "You wanna say that to my FACE punk?!" / Header: "Moments prior..."
/ Man #2: "Say, would you mind breaking that bottle and threatening me with the jagged edges while shouting a rhetorical question?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=507#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "What're you gonna do now?" / Caption: Nobody was particularly thankful for Todd's impromptu self defense lessons. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=508#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Flowers? What for?"
/ Man: "Just cause..."
/ Woman: "Oh Jimmy!"
/ Man: "Cause you're a bitch!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=509#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Drawing of a mechanism with parts labeled "gasoline tank," "spacing struts," "rudder," and "constantly firing machine gun." ] / Caption: There were a number of design flaws with the original model of the Wright Flyer. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=510#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "So I'm in his chest when I find these two lungs - shaped tumors! So I removed them, only to discover that he has no lungs! It's a wonder he was even alive to - wait a sec...oh no. OH NO!" / Caption: To his horror, Dr. Thompson realizes he never went to med school. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=511#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Woah woah woah - when I said, "I hate all the Jews," I didn't mean, like, YOU, in particular." / Caption: You know what? I'm just gonna stop using that pickup line altogether. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=512#comic |
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