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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Jesus: "I forgive you all!" / Caption: In retrospect, it was probably a mistake to put Jesus in charge of the war crimes tribunal. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=513#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I just don't get it. You've already got my soul, what does it matter if you get power of attorney?"
/ Satan: "Well if it doesn't matter so much, why don't you just sign the damn thing?!" / Caption: I'm really starting to distrust Satan. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=514#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Caterpillar: "Welcome to Caterpillar Laaaaand!"
/ Caterpillar: "First you must fill out this immigration paaaaperwork!" / Caption: It was the worst LSD trip I'd ever taken. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=515#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Hi, I'd like to return this DVD player."
/ Black Knight: "I'm sorry sir, but you failed to purchase our EXTENDED WARRANTY! BAAAHAHAHAHA!!!" / Caption: The Black Knight has had little difficulty adjusting to modern life. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=516#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Honey! Are you okay?"
/ Man: "Ugh...I had that same awful dream - the one where I'm you." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=517#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "You think I'm ugly, don't you?"
/ Man: "No...no I...In fact I think it's beneficial to see all sorts of different faces. For instance, now I no longer fear death." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=518#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Jesus: "Behold! I am the Messiah!"
/ Megassiah: "Behold! I am Megassiah!" / Caption: Due to a scheduling error, the second and third comings happened at roughly the same time.
/ Needless to say, Jesus was pissed. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=519#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Teacher: "Care to read that note in front of the class, Miss O'Neil?"
/ Student: "But...but sir, YOU put this note on my desk..."
/ Teacher: "I didn't ask for the history Miss O'Neil!" / Caption: [ Note that reads "I think Mr. Anderson is SO hot!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=520#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I guess...I guess somehow I just feel like less of a man..." / Caption: Jim's life has changed a lot ever since his genitals fell off. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=521#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Wait! Sandy! Before we do this, I...I want to make sure that...that it's really love."
/ Woman: "Oh Bobby! Just look into my eyes. If you feel a tingle shooting up your spine, you'll know it's true love."
/ [ Woman holds a stun gun that goes, "zhzhzhh!" ] / Caption: If he didn't feel a tingle, Sandy was prepared to make damn sure he regretted it. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=522#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Polly, our relationship just isn't working out." / Woman: "What?! Why not?!" / Man: "I thought you might ask that. Please allow me to illustrate with this Venn Diagram." / [ Man holds up a piece of paper that reads, "YOU'RE A BITCH." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=523#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Oh HI Susan! This is a bit awkward...meet my ex-girlfriend, Elaine." / Caption: In retrospect, it would have been courteous to inform Elaine of our break-up prior to the date with Susan. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=524#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ An airplane flies through the sky. ] / [ Two men stand at the door, ready to jump. One looks nervous. ] / [ The nervous man looks at the other man, who gives him two thumbs up. ] / [ Both men stand at the door smiling. ] / [ Nervous man jumps out of the plane. ] / [ A shark catches the man mid-air and gnashes on him while the man screams. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=525#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Maleficent: "And when the princess pricks her finger, she will sleep forever unless a series of unlikely conditions are met!"
/ Creature: "Uh, I got a knife? We could just stab her...you wanna just stab her?" / Caption: The original draft on Sleeping Beauty was just over twelve minutes long. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=526#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Angel: "No Todd! You LOVE your wife and kids! They're-"
/ Devil: "Hey guys, I'm back. Sorry, but I got bored with the debate, so I went ahead and just killed your family myself." / Caption: Say what you will, sociopathy is efficient. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=527#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Joker: "Hahahahaha! I can't wait to see the horror on doctors' faces after I pour THIS in Gotham's water supply!"
/ Batman: "Not so fast, Joker!" / Caption: [ Broken vile labeled "cure for all diseases" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=528#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Man shoots a gun. ] / Caption: Dr. Oppenheimer illustrates the appropriate defense against Hungarian style épée fencing. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=529#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "You know, I really feel that your new sign is putting a strain on our marriage."
/ [ Woman wears a sign on her head that reads "Countdown to divorce: 27M, 14D, 03H, 57M, 22S." ] / Caption: Immediately, the counter ticked down to two months. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=530#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "There!"
/ [ She puts a paper bag with a drawn on smiley face onto a man. ] / Caption: "Now nobody else feels depressed!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=531#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Picture of a "Suicide Flowchart":
/ "Shoot yourself" → "Die"
/ ↓ ↓
/ "Realize life is worth living" → "Office job for sixty years" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=532#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "Draw!"
/ Man #2: "Heh heh!" / Caption: We all had a good laugh at McGuffrey's pun.
/ I mean, sure, we would've laughed harder if we hadn't figured out the joke while picking through blood and chunks of brain, but deep down, I'm pretty sure this is what he would've wanted. Ooh look! There's a gold tooth under this picture of his wife and kids! http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=533#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "The President's a racist!"
/ Man: "Bigot!"
/ President: "No! Wait! I said chiggers! CHIGGERS!" / Caption: "I hate black people ad chiggers." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=534#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Sweetie, don't worry. There IS no afterlife. When you die, you simply cease to be." / Caption: Dad explains why there is no ghost under my bed. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=535#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A scientist observes a man in a room with 0% air level and a blank piece of paper that says "Can you breathe?" and has a box for "yes" and "no." ] / Caption: Once again, our study proved inconclusive. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=536#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ One woman cries and another woman sits in shock as a military man stands across from them. ] / Caption: It was the greatest fart joke they had ever heard. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=537#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents: Misunderstood Bible passages / Noah: "Huh?" / Caption: Episode 1:
/ God calls Noah gay. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=538#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents: Tommy, the Office Prankster / Tommy: "Hey kids! I'm Tommy the Office Prankster!" / Tommy: "Today, I'm switching my boss' desk pistol with this novelty gun!" / Tommy: " In a half hour, I'll burst in, pretending to be a robber! Hoohoo!" / Header: 30 minutes later
/ [ Tommy has a robber mask on and looks horrified as he sees his boss with the novelty pistol in his mouth and a "BANG!" flag coming out the back of his head. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=539#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Man speaks from a podium at the Misogynists Anonymous '06 convention. ]
/ Man: "I haven't been able to overcome my problem entirely, but there are now a few specific types of women I don't hate. For example, unattractive harpies, who better not leave the kitchen unless I say so." / Caption: Todd then smiled and winked at his wife. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=540#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Son holds a bloody knife over the man he just stabbed to death. ]
/ Dad: "Bobby! No!"
/ Dad: "Not on Tuesday!" / Caption: The key to being a good parent is knowing when to set boundaries. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=541#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: 5 seconds ago
/ [ A hand holds up a note that reads, "Sorry! This was the only type of card they had left. Anyway, happy 30th! Love..." ] / Header: 10 seconds ago
/ [ Man looks distressed. ] / Header: 15 seconds ago
/ [ A hand holds up a card that reads, "Your wife is dead," ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=542#comic |
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