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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Here's your heroin!" / Caption: Who says money can't buy happiness? http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=573#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Monkeys evolved from the Bible!!!"
/ Monkey: "Ook?" / Caption: The third perspective on evolution. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=574#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Dog imagines himself saying, "I have a central nervous system complex enough to allow fantasies!" ] / Caption: Dog fantasies. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=575#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "It won't sound so bad if you really pronounce the "eeeee!"
/ Man: "I really don't -"
/ Doctor: "Oh come on!"
/ Man: "I just don't feel like -"
/ Doctor: "C'monnn!"
/ Man: *sigh* "Amputeeeee." / Caption: "Aaand why?"
/ "...peripheral vascular diseeeeease." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=576#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Letter:
/ I apologize in advance for the latter portion of this note. My three year old got these markers, and we were out of paper...anyway -
/ Baron Destructus -
/ I write this in my own blood, for it is the same blood spilt by your barbarian soldiers under last night's moon.
/ Seven hundred of ours fell in the slaughter, mostly women and children.
/ Let this be your notice, Baron: We will not die in silence, not before our lands are watered with your blood, and our rivers run overflowing with your dead.
/ May all that you love perish in agony."
/ "i lov u!!"
/ "dog."
/ pictures of hearts and smiley faces and stars ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=577#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A tombstone reads:
/ Susan Lerman
/ 1956 - 2006
/ "Hey wait! I'm not dead yet!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=578#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Alien: "In exchange for one million human children, we shall share all of our advanced medical knowledge." / Caption: In retrospect, it should've been obvious that Altarian biology was vastly different from our own. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=579#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "So...during your knee surgery, we sort of accidentally started operating on your brain and removed your ability to react reasonably to situations..."
/ Man: "Bahahaha! You guys are awesome!" / Caption: Mr. Andrews later sued us for having an excellent gift shop. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=580#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents:
/ Marketing Tips: Episode One
/ "The Surgeon General isn't the only one who can add warnings" / [ A box of cigarettes with the following: "Warning two: Smoking is awesome." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=581#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Son: "Dad, dad...I have something to tell you...I'm...DOUBLE-GAY." / Caption: Of course we were supportive, but deep down we wondered if we were bad parents. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=582#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Nurse: "Discount movie tickets! Haha! Well this session is going just great! How about you, Phyllis? What's your favorite thing about being a senior?
/ Nurse: "Phyllis?"
/ Nurse: "Phyllis?" / Caption: Phyllis had died of shock after her false teeth, glass eyes, and severe pain medication fell into her incontinence diapers. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=583#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Ariel view of Africa ] / [ Airplane drops boxes labeled "AIDS relief" ] / Man: "Look!" / Man: "A Playstation?" / Man: "Dammit!" / Man: "Damn you Americans! Is this some kind of joke? How in the world is this supposed to help?!"
/ Man: "Huh?!" / Header: Subsequently...
/ Woman: "Hey, you want to have sex?"
/ Man: "Meh." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=584#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I've got it Clark! Truth, justice, and the American way!"
/ Clark Kent: "Oh...oh yeah, yeah that's pretty cool..."
/ [ Clark Kent holds a piece of paper that reads "Truth, justice, and *uck da police." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=585#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Sonny, 'fore you hop in that saddle, there's somethin' you oughta unnerstand - when you're a cowboy, you don't ride the horse. The horse...rides you." / Header: About twenty minutes later
/ Doctor: "Yep, he's dead." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=586#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man lays dead with a gun in his hand and blood spatter on the wall that spells out "butt." ] / Caption: Due to the unlikely spattering of blood, Frank's suicide took on a less somber tone. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=587#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Joker: "You're too late Batman! Now you'll never stop my plan to let Batman survive the night!"
/ Batman: "We'll see about THAT Joker!" / Header: Later...
/ Batman: "Well played." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=588#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Hey, I got one - why are you people so boring?" / Caption: The riddling party comes to an abrupt halt. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=589#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "How about now?"
/ Woman: "I told you Steve - there's no way I'm ever dating you." / Caption: Moments later, Earth collided with Mars. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=590#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Picture:
/ "Weight Loss Flowchart!"
/ "You're so damn fat" → "Suicide"
/ ↓ ↓
/ "Diet and exercise" → "You're not fat anymore" ] / Caption: I told my wife I found the chart a bit insulting.
/ At this point, she noted that I was correct, but also "so damn fat." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=591#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents
/ A tale of superherodom
/ "So-Damn-Awesome-Man" / Man: "Gimme yer purse! Hahaha!"
/ So-Damn-Awesome-Man: "Not so fast, crook!" / [ So-Damn-Awesome-Man stands while a cloud of smoke and a "BANG!" emanate from his hand. ] / Man: "Oh my God! You shot me! But...but you don't even have a gun!" / [ So-Damn-Awesome-Man smiles and flashes empty hands. ] / Man: "That is so damn awesome." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=592#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Girl: "Happy September 26th!"
/ Boy: "Oh my God! Sheila Mathers! But you're the head cheerleader! I didn't even think you knew my name! That's so - oh...right." / Caption: Sighing, Marty placed yet another card in his Hatred Day box. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=593#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Magician releases a dove from his hands. ] / Woman: "Wow! He just made that dove appear out of nowhere!"
/ Man: "Psh! Everybody knows how that trick works." / Man: "Hey Satan - I'll give you my soul if you make a dove appear from my hands." / Man: "Bam!" / Woman: "Wow, look! The magician did it again!" / Satan: "Hey, I'm stumped too." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=594#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "My wife is dead - I'm at peace with that now, and in love with you." / Caption: You'd think she'd have been impressed. I mean, how many people can belch an entire sentence? http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=595#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Here's my impression of your dad: Hey Satan! How's it going?" / Caption: Of course, from this angle, you can't see dad's casket. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=596#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Man reads a piece of paper with the following:
/ "Are you some crazy homeless guy exam
/ Section 2: Math
/ 1. What is the square root of 64?
/ A) 32
/ B) 8
/ C) plus or minus 8
/ D) I told you damn ten teen don't be late on me crap crapass bastard! Baugh! Blaugh! Blah!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=597#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ One caveman hits another with a club. ] / Caption: Early circumcision. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=598#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Doc, am I gonna be okay?"
/ Doctor: "Well, with that life insurance policy, your wife will be doing pretty good!" / Caption: After he stopped laughing, Dr. Stern somberly handed me a list of funeral homes noting, "you have three hours to pick. Well...about two hours and fifty-eight minutes now." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=599#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Susan. I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I went out late last night and got you this."
/ Man: "What's the matter?"
/ Man: "Oh God..."
/ Man: "I left that in there, didn't I,,," / Caption: [ A wedding ring with a note in the case that reads "842-0768 Call me! :) Amanda" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=600#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents
/ "How to Debate"
/ Episode 1:
/ Using Your Sources / Man: "You believe in the moon landing?! Scientists proved it was a fake! (1) I have a brother (2) who's an expert (2) in photography (2) who said the pictures couldn't possibly be real (3)." / Caption: Bibliography:
/ (1) Heard it somewhere. (3)
/ (2) Sort of.
/ (3) Not actually true. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=601#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "I'm just asking you to look at the manuscript! I know it's not your usual material, but this information needs to be public!"
/ Man #2: "For the last time, no!"
/ [ Man #1 holds a script entitled "Modern Genocide" ] / Caption: None of the publishers were interested in my How To guide. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=602#comic |
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