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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents:
/ Untrue Truisms: Episode 1:
/ "Curiosity Killed the Cat" / [ A jug of bleach sits next to an empty syringe. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=783#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Mom: "Liars are unclean! Unclean!" / Caption: I don't believe in spanking. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=784#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "Ewww!" / Caption: Never hire a sex therapist under the age of twelve. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=785#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Would you love me more if I weren't stabbing you right now?!"
/ Man: "Y-yes..."
/ Woman: "Don't try to change me!" / Caption: The first date went about as well as I'd expected. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=786#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Teacher: "And every time you break one of the rules? *BWORGH!* Belch in the face!" / Caption: I hate etiquette class. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=787#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Close up of a super villain ] / Super villain: "Ah crap." / Header: Earlier...
/ Super villain: "Pluto is mine Superjerk! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
/ Superman: "Oh...okay!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=788#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Boy lays face down in the grass in front on some metal stairs ] / Caption: Before slides. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=789#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Villain: "Pillow Man? How are you gonna stop me with a-AAAH!!!" / Caption: Criminals beware!
/ Pillow Man also has a gun. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=790#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "And so then we moved back to...did you just try to tranquilize me?"
/ Man: "Uh...yeah, I suppose I did."
/ Woman: "I'm actually naturally immune. Weird, huh?"
/ Man: "Y-yeah." / Caption: Man, she was really making this awkward. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=791#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Professor, look! We've created an antibody that could cure your wife!"
/ Professor: "Oh! And just in the nick of time!" / [ Professor peers into a microscope ] / [ Close up of a slide that reads "Sucker!" ] / Caption: It took three years' research to make the particles do that. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=792#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "No, don't! That's poaching!"
/ Man #2: "Nope. I checked. It's not endangered."
/ Man #1: "But-" / Caption: Specifically, Dodo Birds are extinct. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=793#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Crazy looking doctor stands at a desk with an axe for huntin' and one for doctorin' behind him ]
/ Doctor: "So you need an appendectomy?!"
/ Man [ thinking to himself ]: "Oh God..." / Caption: I hope he remembers to use the doctorin' axe. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=794#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents:
/ "New take on misogyny" / Man: "Women who work the same job as men make 75 cents on the dollar! Why should they be treated equally if they only make 3/4th of what a man makes?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=795#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Girl: "Look! It's Laffy, the Laughing Duck!"
/ Boy: "He can only talk in laughs!"
/ Laffy: "HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI!*" / Caption: *Translation:
/ I wish you could judge me by something other than this horrible psychological condition. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=796#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Allison, I was always sorry you never had more than a piece of granite for a father." / Granite Man: "That's racist, Janet." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=797#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: SMBC Presents: Ethical Conundrums!
/ "Question: How can Atheists be ethical? They don't believe in a higher power.
/ Answer: Yes they do." / Atheists: "All hail Athe! All hail Athe!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=798#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Batman: "Quick! Lex Luthor has taken over Australia!"
/ Superman: "Oh no! If only one of us were an accounts receivable clerk!"
/ Man: "Oh ha ha." / Caption: The Green Lantern's life took a significant downturn after he lost his magic ring. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=799#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "Daddy, what's heaven?"
/ Dad: "Son, do you remember when your dog died?" / Caption: I hadn't actually heard what Bill said.
/ I just find this really funny. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=800#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Therapist: "One of our marriage strategies is that whenever you feel the urge to say something hurtful, just say, 'I love you.'" / Header: Soon...
/ Woman: "I LOVE YOU! You know why? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=801#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "I feel that a lot of your self esteem issues stem from being so f**king stupid."
/ Man #2: "Well, I -"
/ Man #1: "Fatass." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=802#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: First Date Tips!
/ "Make sure to put her at ease" / Man: "There. Now you don't have to wonder if I have a bonesaw." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=803#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Son, we just don't believe two men can really love each other." / Caption: Well, technically only I believe that, but your mother can go f*** herself. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=804#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Don't stare at me like that! Stop it! This was never more than a physical thing and you knew that from the start! Stop it!" / Caption: Reluctantly, I deflated Cynthia. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=805#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman #1: "Remember, above all, women like a man with confidence."
/ Man: "Confidence. Gotcha." / Header: Later... / Woman #2: "Guess my favorite color!"
/ Man: "Pink."
/ Woman #2: "No, it's-"
/ Man: "I SAID PINK!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=806#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Little boy looks sadly at his quiz that reads "how many valence electrons in a hydrogen atom?" He had written two, but the answer is crossed out in red and the correct answer, one, is written next to it. ] / Header: Later... / [ Boy finds a magic lantern. ] / Genie: "You may have anything you wish." / Boy: "I wish I'd got that question right." / [ Explosion ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=807#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Patient: "Help! I'm dying of blood loss!"
/ Doctor: "Oh God! Every day it's the same problem!" / Caption: [ Note that reads, "Cause of Death: Am not actually a doctor." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=808#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Two men sit playing chess. One shoots the top off of the other's queen. ] / Caption: I could immediately sense he was intimidated by my variation of the Ponziani Opening. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=809#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "Ma'am, may I help you across the street?" / Old Woman: "Oh, that'd be very nice young man." / Boy: "Here ya go!" / [ Old Woman holds a map that shows "you" and an arrow pointing to the "other side." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=810#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "This is an intervention, Todd! We want you off heroin!"
/ Man: "But heroin makes me happy!"
/ Woman: "Wow, really? That sounds amazing!" / Caption: We now hold interventions every Friday and Saturday night. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=811#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "According to this study, young children are less anxious when in the presence of a clown." / Man: "That could help Billy's panic attacks. But we don't have a clown suit. Unless..." / Header: Later... / Man: "Billy! Somewhere in here...is a CLOWN!" / Man: "Goodnight!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=812#comic |
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