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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Unkempt man wearing a "Mama's Boy" shirt sits under a tree in the woods. ] / Caption: I'm seriously starting to wonder if anyone is still playing hide and seek. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=813#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Parenting Quiz!
/ "Your kid got into your hallucinogenic drugs!
/ What is the proper response?" / Man: "I have a kid?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=814#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Kids, we can't afford to put all of you through college, so...well...remember how you used to play tag WITHOUT knives?"
/ Son: "Uh...y-yeah?" / Caption: Dad then shot two of us. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=815#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: "Dear government,
/ I am a victim of sexism!
/ I interviewed for a job
/ traditionally held by women, and
/ was clearly never in the running
/ despite my positive, can do attitude." / Header: Earlier... / Mom: "We just don't feel-"
/ Man: "I could nanny the s**t out of this f***ker!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=816#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Son, you could be anything when you grow up. Like an insurance salesman or an insurance lawyer or even an insurance contract proofreader." / Son: "Or an astronaut!"
/ Dad: "You?! Bahahahaha!" / Header: 20 Years Later / Son: "Take THAT, dad!" / Dad: "Could you come down on the premium?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=817#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman #1: "Oh my God Minnie! You killed him!"
/ Woman #2: "Not to worry! I have the perfect alibi!" / Lawyer: "Where were you on the night of the 27th?!" / Woman #2: "Somewhere else!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=818#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Ban the F-word!
/ (Arguing would be much funnier) / Woman: "You're canoodling her! You're canoodling your secretary. aren't you?! You mother canoodler!" / Caption: "Would you canoodlin' shut up, you canoodlin' bitch!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=819#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "I believe the Earth was created when two angry turtles did battle with Space-God."
/ Man #2: "That's stupid."
/ Man #1: "It's my religion."
/ Man #2: "And I RESPECT it." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=820#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Teacher: "You all fail! Did it ever occur to you that there might be more to life than bunnies and duckies?!" / Caption: [ A picture of an outlines bunny asking, "What's missing?" The word "bunnie" is crossed out and "A wife who loves me" is written next to it. ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=821#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Confession Strategies:
/ "Explain yourself with metaphor!" / Woman: "Steve, you and I...we're like apples and oranges. I'm the oranges, and the oranges are doing your brother." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=822#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Master: "To achieve enlightenment, you must forget the past and focus solely on the present."
/ Man: "...yes, Master." / Caption: Once again, Master Cheung got out of his gambling debts. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=823#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Boy: "Waka waka waka!" / Header: 10 seconds ago... / [ A dog flies out of a window. ] / Header: 20 seconds ago... / Man: "Hey, I'm here to take out your mom. But, I bought you a puppy dog!"
/ Boy: "That reminds me of a joke." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=824#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Daughter: "Mom, you can't pull over every nine minutes to make me use the bathroom! It won't make you a good mother!"
/ Mom: "Well, maybe you should've thought of that BEFORE my nervous breakdown!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=825#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Daughter: "I have to do everything around here."
/ Mom: "Hey, did you know SOMEONE gave BIRTH to you? Yeah. I think I deserve some credit for that. In fact, I'm gonna take ALL THE CREDIT." / Caption: Sometimes I hate my stepmom. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=826#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Yeah! Eggs for you! You like that?! Yeah!"
/ Woman: "How 'bout some MILK?!" / Caption: Turns our that wasn't Ted's list of fetishes. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=827#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Don't feel bad. You know, if it's any consolation, I'm only dumping you because I met someone compared to whom you seem like worthless scum."
/ Man: "Oh, that's-"
/ Woman: "Well, okay, two someones." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=828#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Reverend: "Dusty dusty ashy ashy, grampa's plane went crashy crashy." / Caption: Before he tromped away, the reverend threw a voided check to the ground, noting that we "should've paid in cashy cashy." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=829#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Doctor: "Hahahahaha! Oh my God, you should have seen your face!"
/ Man: "Eheh...heh..." / Caption: "Hey, why are YOU laughing? Your wife just died." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=830#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Cowboy Steve: "Kids, Cowboy Steve's wife left him last night. Cowboy Steve is beginning to question the meaning of his own existence." / Caption: Now more than ever, Steve wished he actually had a cowboy TV show. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=831#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Hey, are you in the mood for..."
/ Woman: "Uh...sleeeeping...not awaaake...don't enjoy sex with husband...typically imagine his boss..."
/ Man: "You could at least close your eyes when you do that." / Caption: "Always keep eyes open when sleeping...husband an idiot...should make me pancakes tomorrow." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=832#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Can I lick your hair? I mean, like...LICK IT." / Caption: It is REALLY hard to come up with original pick up lines. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=833#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I am NOT cheating on you!"
/ Woman: "Then whose is this?"
/ Man: "The woman I'm sleeping with on the side."
/ Woman: "..."
/ Man: "Oh, you mean THAT kind of cheating?" / Caption: Todd then refused to get into an argument about semantics. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=834#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Break Up Tips!
/ "Be Empathetic" / Woman: "I want you to know that I really do care about your stupid feelings." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=835#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Hey kids! Who wants CHOCOLATE CAKE!" / Caption: Dad found our milk allergy hilarious. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=836#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I am NOT a jerk."
/ Woman: "You told my mom she was fat!"
/ Man: "I said she could lose weight! That's true of anyone."
/ Woman: "Oh, okay, I-"
/ Man: "Especially a lardass like her!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=837#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Advertisement:
/ "Male for Female
/ Preferable:
/ -Unattractive
/ -Crushingly low self esteem
/ Must enjoy giving me $300 to make rent this month" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=838#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I find the thought of you make me physically ill, beautiful."
/ Woman: "Aww..." / Caption: Well, apparently she knows one word of sign language. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=839#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Son: "Dad! I accidentally tracked mud all over the carpet."
/ Dad: "Ahh, ha ha ha! I remember when I was a boy. Oh, those were the days." / Caption: Dad explained how I wasn't born back then. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=840#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Marriage Counseling Myths:
/ "Communication is always good" / Man: "Do I have to say, "I love you?"
/ Man: "It just feels like I'm lying."
/ Man: "Lying to an ugly girl." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=841#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Santa: "Faster, you idiots!" / Caption: What's even more disturbing is that Santa only does this because the elves like it. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=842#comic |
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