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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Pilot: And, as we begin our descent, you'll notice the little houses getting bigger and bigger... / And bigger... / Duuude...
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Dwarf: What are you doing?! Sleeping Beauty's over there! You're kissing Ralph, the dead leper! / Prince: Urgh. I always do this.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Son: You know, I like you almost as much as 9 to 5 dad.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Snake in Woman's Eye: You can't trust her! / Caption: Something in her eyes told me I couldn't trust her.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Giant Robot: LOVE EACHOTHER! / Dog: ARF? / Caption: Weiner dog breeding just hasn't been the same since giant robots conquered Germany.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Moloch:I am Moloch! Destroyer of worlds! / Old Woman: This coupon for veggie wieners is expired Moloch. Would you mind paying full price? / Moloch: Would you mind the death of your FIRST BORN?!! / Old Woman: I've...never been married. / Moloch: Oh...I'm sorry... / Old Woman: ... / Moloch: ... / Old Woman: ... / Moloch: GAHAHAHAHA!
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: You know, it might just be the medication talking, but you're looking pretty ashtray cranberry octo baxopopopooophbfff... / Caption: And then she kissed me.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Caption: I think I'll pick...the red one.
Valentine's Day Man: You shot me with a crossbow! That's not what you do on Valentine's Day! Don't you know anything?
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: What have I done?! / Note: (Note to self: Don't kill Steve)
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Son: Parents, I just killed your only daughter. Oh, also I'm gay. / Just kidding! Only half of what I said is true! Can you guess which half?
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Student: Professor, why are there trap doors under our chairs? / Caption: Ahh, the first day of teaching Natural Selection is always the best day.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Lawyer: You people are all crazy! / Caption: Steve's lawyer tries the insanity defense.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Alan: But science proves nothing! We only see what we're programmed to see! That's why poetry is the only way to transcend reality, and understand truth. / Caption: Beth's "Sonnet on how Alan doesn't know what he's talking about" was surpassed only by her later work, "Ballad of shut your trap Alan, or I'm dumping you."
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Father/Husband: Well, I'm off to have another battle with the toilet... / Woman/Wife: ...okay honey... / Daughter: Why is daddy always so gross? / Baby: Goo? / Caption: We thought he was joking about constipation, until we found his body on the bathroom floor, a porcelain dagger in his back.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal CAM 1: Main Hall / RECORDING / Caption: "Hey Jon! There's cameras on the ceiling! Should we steal them too?"
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal SMBC PRESENTS: Times when you should have elaborated / What was SAID: / Woman: I think we should consider putting my mother in a home. / Man: Maybe you're right honey... / What was THOUGHT: / Nursing Home / Funeral Home
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Sign: Happy Birthday / Man: Thanks Mom! / Mother: Oh, I'm sure it's horse pee compared to the other gifts you got. / Caption: Ten seconds later, wrist-deep in horse urine, I realized it wasn't even my birthday.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Father: Dude! Can I get a high five up in here?! / Son: *snicker* Whatever you want Dad... / Caption: It was the best practical joke I ever played.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Rachelle: I love you Chason. / Chason: Aww, I love you two.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Angel: Quick! Give your soul to me! / Man/Last Soul: Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Pac Man: OMP-OMP-OMP!* / Mrs. Pac Man: OMP-OMP-OMP!** / Caption: / Translations: / * I love you! / ** OMP-OMP-OMP!
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Painting: ANGST / Woman: Wow, he's so deep! / Man: What are you talking about?! It's poop on a canvas! It's literally poop on a canvas! / Woman: But look what it spells! Did you see what it spells? It spells something! / Caption: Later on in our date, she tripped on a branch and scraped her knee. / I didn't help her up.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man/Father: And this is for probably growing up to be an abusive father!
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Old Man: Is it Halloween already? Gee kids, I must have forgotten to get candy. You see, I have this condition where I - / Boy 1: We're Orphans. / Old Man: Well, I guess I could walk to the store... though my cane just broke and I - / Boy 2: ORPHANS. / Caption: Our parents called him "mentally handicapped." / Every friday afternoon, we called him "candybox."
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: Hey! You're ugly! ... NOT! / Woman: That wasn't funny the ninth time, and it's not funny now! / Caption: It was definately funny the seventeenth time, and she still didn't laugh.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Doctor: His condition is serious, but its location is hilarious! / Caption: The lighter side of colorectal cancer.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman/Wife: Mmm, orange juice. / Caption: So I divorced her.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Scientist/Doctor: Interesting... / Baby: Gah! / Notepad: Babies are stupid
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: Oh, sorry, that must have been taken before I had the pig grafted onto my face. Wheee! / Caption: The trouble with Internet dating.
 

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