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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal [ Professor stands in front of a chalk board that reads "1 + 1 = 2" ] / Caption: Professor Ferman postulates why men are attracted to lesbians.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1023#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "That was so...so magical." / Woman: "Say, why don't we celebrate by picking up some Pepsi!" / Man: "W-what?" / Woman: "I just thought you might want to mentally associate this moment with the refreshing taste of ice cold Pepsi-Cola." / Caption: By 2042, all major corporations have begun sending perfect lovers to affect our purchasing decisions. / Fortunately, by 2043, we realize it's awesome.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1024#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal [ Jesus, as a magician, waves a wand over a hat. ] / Caption: This was way less boring than those Big Bang videos.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1025#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "What do you mean you don't believe in it? There are thousands of videos of it on the Internet! Here, look!" / Voice from the computer: "Rar!" / Caption: Julie had just explained her views on premarital sex.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1026#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Doctor: "The operation was a complete success!" / Caption: And look! We saved your body in a jar!
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1027#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: "I did NOT cheat on you!" / Man: "Oh, come on!" / Woman: "Ted, did I cheat on him?" / Man: "No, not yet." / Woman: "THANKYOU!"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1028#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Header: Coming out of the closet didn't go so well... / Man: "Mom, Dad, I'm a homo - " / [ Mom and Dad look scared. ] / Man: "Potamus."
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1029#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "Hey, you know what else takes approximately three minutes?" / Caption: There are a lot of downsides to being in a plane crash.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1030#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man #1: "If you want the religious vote, you have to convince people that you're the holiest candidate." / Man #2: "All right. I think i get what you're saying." / Header: That evening... / Man #2: "Oh yeah? Well, I think public schools should display ELEVEN commandments."
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1031#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: "Whoops! I just dropped a man's carotid artery. Ooh, and it looks like it was severed using the back of a rusty hammer. Whoops! I accidentally dropped a rusty hammer! Weird..." / Caption: "Anyway, I'm sorry...you were saying something about not being in love with me anymore?"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1032#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Female scientist: "I need a sample of fulminant hepatitis strain JFH-I." / Man: "Darlin', you've come to the right place." / Caption: It later turned out she wasn't propositioning me.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1033#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal [ Man writes "how many bullets does it take to kill my boss? less than or equal to 6" ] / Caption: Turns out violence does solve problems.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1034#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Ghost of woman: "Honey - my body is in a deep coma. I'm projecting my spirit so that-" / Man: "Oh, my God! Listen, before you go any further we need to discuss something." / Caption: I quickly ascertained that there was no possibility of a threesome.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1035#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Jesus: "Hey, kids! I took over for Santa this year! And guess what? Instead of toys, I bring you a three-hour lecture on togetherness with multiple Bible citations!" / Caption: ... "Where's my f**king fire engine?"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1036#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Jesus: "Listen, they didn't have that title when I was around, and don't say I don't deserve it!" / Pope: "But, I mean - do you really need?" / Caption: That afternoon, he became Saint Jesus.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1037#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Header: A brief history of Theology / Header: Modern / Man: "What is the divine? Is he an external force, or a force within us? Is he even a he, or is God beyond definition, or even beyond comprehension?" / Header: Ancient / Man #2: "God wants a bigger goat!"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1038#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Doctor: "Now that you're satisfied with the procedure, I have a confession to make. I'm...not actually a gynecologist." / Caption: Todd silently exited the waiting room, donning his football helmet as he went.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1039#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man and woman: "That looked WEIRD." / Caption: We decided to never again play naked tennis.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1040#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Old Woman: "I just thought it'd be nice to have grandkids. That's all." / Man: "Well, maybe you should stay out of my goddamned business!" / Caption: Charlie got so upset after I artificially inseminated his girlfriend.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1041#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Lawyer: "Sexual harassment isn't real! It was concocted by unattractive women, such as jurors two through four, six, seven, and especially eleven, to play on our desire for political correctness!" / Caption: Perhaps his argument would have been more convincing if his hand had been OUTSIDE juror eleven's blouse.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1042#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Header: Schmoozing is not my forte... / Man #1: "You know, we have a lot in common." / Man #2: "Oh?" / Man #1: "Your mom went to Palo Alto High, right?" / Man #2: "Yeah." / Man #1: "Well, I had sex with her!"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1043#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: "Shouldn't we -" / Man: "It's okay! I rolled a six!" / Caption: It later became clear that we should've used a condom after all.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1044#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: "Haha! I don't know, why? Eh? Oh...Oh, God. Wasn't that the setup to a joke?" / Header: Moments prior... / Man: "Why did my wife have to die?"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1045#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man (singing): "Oh, I got the blues, baby...I'm a blues-havin' guy...put cyanide in all the bar patrons' drinks...and now they're gonna die, oh, I got the blues, baby..." / Caption: Now and then, I like to make sure the audience is still listening.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1046#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "Oh yeah! I win! I win!" / Caption: Note to self: / Explain to John that "pillow fight" is a euphemism.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1047#comic
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "You wanna see a list of things that aren't QUITE animal abuse?" / Caption: Still working out the kinks in my pick-up line repertoire.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1048#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: "F-word you n-words! What the..." / Caption: Life has become much more pleasant since we installed those chips in KKK members' throats.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1049#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Header: Dating Tips: / Unnerve your date by puzzling over simple questions / Woman: "I think I'll go to...the LADIES' restroom.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1050#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman #1: "I can't stop thinking about sex with my ex-husband." / Woman #2: "Here's what you do - next time you think a sexy thought, imagine roaches crawling all over your skin." / Header: Soon... / Man: "So what are these -" / Woman #1: "Just fill the bag!"
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1051#comic
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Superman: "What if I punched it? Like, really hard." / Caption: Ultimately, Superman failed to defeat the energy crisis.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1052#comic
 

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