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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man pistol whips another ] / Caption: "Oh, come on you wimp! It's a paintball gun!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1083#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "Todd, I feel like it undermines my authority when you drink out of that novelty mug."
/ Man #2: "Oh, does it? FASCIST!" / Caption: Apparently THE MAN doesn't want me drinking out of his dead brother's skull. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1084#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Party Tips:
/ Be sure to maintain proper conversation flow / Header: Right way / Man: "Hey, you wanna see some pictures of my daughter?" / Header: Wrong way / Man: "Hey, you wanna see some pictures of your daughter?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1085#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Valentine's Tips!
/ Cheer up your single friends! / Woman: "It's not your fault you're alone. There was something wrong with the many different types of women who left you for similar reasons." / Caption: Susan went on to explain that we should see other people. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1086#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Parenting 101:
/ Kids are sensitive, so make sure to explain any angry outbursts / Dad: "What I meant when I said, "I wish you'd never been born" was only that it caused mommy hours and hours of vaginal trauma." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1087#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Honey! Today, a genie gave me three wishes!"
/ Woman: "OH MY GOD! Did you ask for a cure?" / [ Man looks wide eyed ] / [ Man holds DVDs of "Star Wars" 4-6 behind his back ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1088#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Don't ask me how. I just know she's a woman." / Caption: Nobody was particularly impressed with Steven's "femdar." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1089#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Girl: "Mommy! Are those fish MATING?!" / Caption: The aquarium now allows only one scuba diver at a time. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1090#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Several scientists look confused ] / Caption: February 17, 1982:
/ After months of grueling research, we have confirmed that if you turn the calculator upside-down, it spells "boobs." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1091#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Teaching Tips:
/ Use a tangible object to denote authority / Teacher: Okay, now, kids, who's holding the QUIET gun?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1092#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Satan: "You may live ten more years, but your first-born son shall be mine!"
/ Man: "I...I don't know what to say..." / Caption: It's so rare in life that one truly encounters a win-win situation. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1093#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I'm sorry, Dr. Weiner. We're just not that impressed."
/ [ She stands in front of a chalk board with "Wc = 2" on it ] / Caption: The Mathematics Council roundly rejected my proposed Weiner's Constant. / (This DESPITE the fact that you can average any two numbers by dividing by Weiner's Constant.) http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1094#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Fairy: "I bring you social anxiety! And hair!" / Caption: Nobody like The Puberty Fairy. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1095#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Son, don't be upset. That's just a pet name. It's like calling your mother a puppy dog." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1096#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Alien: "Our scientific advances have allowed us to move beyond the need for sex."
/ Man: "Yeah, okay, we get it. Could you please get back to faster-than-light travel?" / Caption: I don't know about you, but I'm starting to get tired of those constantly masturbating aliens. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1097#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Am I perfect? No. But I'm a community leader! Remember when I gave ice cream to all the kids in town?" / Caption: Dr. Brown was soon found guilty in the poisoning deaths of all the kids in town. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1098#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: A more succinct proof / [ Document reads "There are infinite prime numbers:
/ If there weren't infinite primes, that other proof of infinite primes wouldn't work
/ It does work
/ Therefore there are infinite primes" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1099#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I wrote a sonnet naming and describing each of your 132,148 hairs." / Caption: Liz felt this was inappropriate use of the back of a restraining order. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1100#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Hiroki-san, look! Sakura says she loves you after all!" / Caption: Unfortunate Truth #26:
/ There's no such thing as half-seppuku. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1101#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Failed Children's Books! / [ "The Littlest Confederate" ]
/ [ "Safer Sex Thru Abortion" ]
/ [ "F88k Those F**kers!"* ] / Caption: * Although none of these works were successful, "F--k Those F--kers" was a cult hit among f--kers. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1102#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Yeah, that's right! You'll never see these two again!"
/ [ She flashes a man. ] / Caption: Janet finds my blindness hilarious. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1103#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Bishop #1: "We want people to know he's spiritual beyond mortal reckoning."
/ Bishop #2: "That he talk to God himself!"
/ Bishop #3: "That his plane of understanding is beyond the realm of human imagining!" / Caption: March 2, 1128:
/ It is concluded that the Pope shall have the biggest hat. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1104#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Scientist: "That's my last day in this second-rate lab! Behold@ Sex change in a pill!" / Header: Soon... / Scientist (as a woman): "What the - oh REAL funny guys." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1105#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Well...for starters, I shot all those people." / Caption: Steve angles for the insanity defense. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1106#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I have a confession...I've been cheating on you with your long lost son."
/ Man: "My David? You found my David?!"
/ Woman: "Well, okay. Only part of that confession was true." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1107#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "YOU'RE the other woman?! I though I was the other woman!" / Caption: It later turned out we were lesbians. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1108#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Camp Counselor: "So, if you see poison ivy, make sure to grab it and hold it back so it can't poison you."
/ Boy: "I don't think-"
/ Camp Counselor: "Hey! Who has two weekend of counselor training? HUH?!" / Caption: "Now, these scorpions? They go in the LEFT eye." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1109#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Dad: "Son! I need your Batman costume. The one with the mask. Don't ask why, and don't tell mommy it's yours." / Caption: I consider this the last moment of my childhood. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1110#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I can tell you just changed this! The ink is still wet!"
/ Man: "Look, I was only trying to make you feel good about yourself." / Caption: [ A notebook reads:
/ "Life Goals
/ #3 Marry supermodel (crossed out) okay-looking girl" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1111#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "My legs...oh God, I can't feel my legs!"
/ Man #2: "Be at ease, my friend...death will soon be upon you." / Caption: It was the greatest wedgie of all time. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1112#comic |
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