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| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Batman: "Bat-rope!" / Bruce Wayne: "Man, this works great. I wonder if we could use it to fight crime." / Header: Earlier...
/ Woman (to Batman): "So, we need to talk about our relationship." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1720#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Bad Social Move:
/ Making puns that don't relate to the situation / Man: "My wife just died."
/ Woman: "It's a CAT-tastrophe!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1721#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "I'm a vegetarian, sir, because I don't need to murder to eat." / Header: Somewhere...on a soybean farm...
/ Mouse #1: "Run! Tractors!"
/ Mouse #2: "Where's mama?!"
/ Mouse #3: "I don't know! Just run!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1722#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "Sir! Sir! There's a problem with the funs we jsut shipped!"
/ Man #2: "They get extremely hot when fired!"
/ Man #2: "Oh dear God." / Caption: There was a bit of a snag in the heat-seeking bullets program. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1723#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Oh! Oh, yeah! That's fairly good! That's not so bad. You're the third best sex partner I've ever had!" / Caption: Wonder Woman no longer uses The Lasso of Truth for bondage play. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1724#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I was a really good restaurant patron today. I mean REALLY good. Polite? Friendly? Outgoing?" / Caption: Social Faux Pas #12:
/ Trying to get a waiter to tip you. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1725#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Each generation has had some form of bigotry to reject, but then ironically harbors a bigotry that the following generation must reject."
/ Woman: "What sort of bigotry do you think our kids will see in us." / Man: "I think we may be the last. We accept gender, race, sexual orientation..."
/ Woman: "Wouldn't that be wonderful?" / Header: Later...
/ Old man: "My daughter ain't marryin' no Zorblaxian!" / Header: Still later...
/ Alien: "My daughter ain't marryin' no robot!" / Header: Yet still later...
/ Robot: "My daughter ain't marryin' no sentinment plasmoid!" / Header: Even still later...
/ Plasmoid: "My daughter ain't marryin' no consciousness embedded in the fabric of spacetime!" / Header: And finally...
/ Universe #1: "I'm the universe that spawned you, and I say who you can marry!"
/ Universe #2: "I'm my own universe, dad! And i love him!"
/ Universe #1: "But he's 96% dark matter!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1726#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Alien: "People of Earth! We bring you a challenge! If you fail, your civilization is forfeit!" / Alien: "Behold! Mindless point-and-click video games!" / [ Humans look stupefied ] / Alien: "I just...I just..."
/ Alien #2: "It's okay, man. Don't let it upset you."
/ Alien: "What the hell do they do all day?!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1727#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Pinocchio with his nose attached to the trigger of a rifle, which points at his face as he says, "I want to live!" / Caption: The "Most Horrific Image" contest came to an early conclusion. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1728#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Oh, yeah. Sorry. It's a bet. I have to do that whenever you say "Oh, wow! Me too!" / Caption: Shirley was not impressed by The First Date Drinking Game. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1729#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Grandpa: "And so good children get presents and naughty children get lumps of coal." / Granddaughter: "Wait. Wait, so all the worst kids in the world are given flammable rocks at the same time?" / [ Grandpa looks stunned ] / [ A neighborhood is ablaze ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1730#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A beanstalk grows out of a man's stomach ] / Caption: In Jack's defense, "Magic Beans" sounds like an awesome drug. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1731#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "I'll spin this globe, and you throw the dart. Wherever it lands, we'll cast away our cares, and go there tonight. For love, my darling. For love." / Caption: [ Magnetic Dart and Globe Kit! Look Romantic! Always hits cheap part of Utah! ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1732#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A spaceship flies away from Earth ] / [ The top of the ship breaks away and goes to Enceladus ] / [ The top lands on the surface ] / [ The ship drills into the surface ] / [ The ship drops into water ] / [ The ship encounters some three-eyed alien fish ] / [ A fast-food restaurant has a sign that reads "Fish filet is back!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1733#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "Oh hey, have you seen my watch?" / Caption: Bumping into my gynecologist outside her office suddenly got a lot more uncomfortable. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1734#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Friday.
/ Man: "So, senators, that report we released was fake - a test of your true feelings. And, well, we're not exactly floored over here." / Header: Thursday.
/ [ A newspaper headline reads "Senate revokes all funding for medical research" ] / Header: Wednesday.
/ [ The Journal of Epidemiology headline reads "All Disease in Elected Officials Cured" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1735#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A man shows another man a piece of paper that reads, "mmm, that feels nice, young lady." ] / Caption: One of the hardest things to recreate on the desert island was cybersex. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1736#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Debunk internet ads while teaching mathematics / [ "Question:
/ If a pill could actually double your penis, how many pills would it take to reach the edge of the solar system? (answer on bottom)" ] / Caption: ~4.65 pills http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1737#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Eugonia strikes again!"
/ Woman: "There's no goddess of ejaculation."
/ Man: "How do you know?" / Caption: Life was better before monotheism. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1738#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: 0 years dating:
/ [ A piece of paper reads, "do you like me?" and has boxes for "yes" and "no" ] / Header: 1 year dating:
/ [ A piece of paper reads, "do you like me?" and has boxes for "yes," "no," and "no, but I pity you, which is similar" ] / Header: 2 years dating:
/ [ A piece of paper reads, "do you like me?" and has boxes for "yes," "no," "no, but I pity you, which is similar," and "yes. but me shit." ] / Header: 3 years dating:
/ [ A piece of paper reads, "do you like me?" and has boxes for "yes," "no," "no, but I pity you, which is similar," "yes. but me shit." and "yes, but in an entirely unsatisfactory way, which I'll insist you should be pleased with." ] / Header: 5 years dating:
/ [ A piece of paper reads, "do you like me?" and has boxes for "yes," "no," "no, but I pity you, which is similar," "yes. but me shit," "yes, but in an entirely unsatisfactory way, which I'll insist you should be pleased with," and "only in the way I like my reliable but emotionally uninteresting Volvo." ] / Header: 10 years dating:
/ [ A piece of paper reads, "do you like me?" but has that crossed out and "are you terrified of dying alone and unloved too?" in its place and has boxes for "yes" and "no" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1739#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Woman: "World pe-" / [ Her boobs start to grow ] / [ Her boobs get even bigger ] / Woman: "You're a dick." / Header: Earlier...
/ Man: "And the genie said I could wish for anything!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1740#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Caveman #1: "Hey, I bet I can draw 1,000 dicks before you can draw 1,000 boobs."
/ Caveman #2: "A game of dick-boob, is it?" / Header: 10,000 years later
/ Man: "We believe we've discovered a Neolithic fertility cult." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1741#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ A venn diagram has one circle labeled "acceptable pet names," another labeled "professional titles," and the intersection labeled "most irritating things you can call your wife: examples: Dr. Sweetie, Sergeant Cutiepie, and Her Honor, Judge Sexypants." ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1742#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: It was a mistake to intervene in my brother's suicide / Man: "Oh my God! We look exactly alike! Which twin do I kill!?" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1743#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "Wait...you want to fund math education with a program that only makes money because poor people aren't taught statistics?" / Caption: Mathematicians are no longer allowed at the state lottery funds debate. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1744#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | [ Cupid shoots an arrow ] / [ A man gets shot by the arrow ] / Man (to woman): "I love you." / [ Friendo shoots wet mashed potatoes ] / [ The woman gets hit by the potatoes ] / Woman (to man): "You're a nice person." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1745#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Movie Phrases Don't Work in Real Life
/ Man: "Don't you see? There is no alimony. The alimony...why...it's in your heart." http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1746#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man #1: "This product needs a new name. Nobody wants a product that by definition does nothing!"
/ Man #2: "Wait! I've got an idea!" / Caption: [ The product formally named "Placebo!" is now "Herbal Placebo!" ] http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1747#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Header: Debate Tips:
/ Slippery slope arguments usually slip both ways / Man: "We can't! If we illegalize gay marriage, all marriage is in danger! Next thing, we'll have to illegalize straight marriage, and then marriage to Jesus!" http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1748#comic |
| Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal | Man: "STUCK!? STUCK!? COME UNSTUCK YOU SON OF A BITCH! COME UNSTUCK! AAUUAUAAAAUGH! AAAUAHAAGH!" / Caption: Cocaine vending machines were a bad idea. http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1749#comic |
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