You're browsing the archives of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Mailman Ed: THE...MAIL...MUST...GET...THROUGH! / Caption: Secretly, Ed wondered if there were an easier way to deliver mail-order weaponry.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: How'd it go? / Man: Well, I didn't hear anything negative! / Caption: I guess my humor wasn't taking the edge off my syphillis test results.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Tunnel of Love / Woman: Oh Fred! This is SO roMANtic! / Caption: "Wait, this isn't the Tunnel of Hate. She's getting mixed signals!"
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Anchorman: AND THEIR YOUNG LIVES WERE TRAGICALLY CUT SHORT AS THE BLAZING INFERNO CONSUMED... / Caption: Not. Wearing. Pants.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man and Woman: Honey I wanted to say - / Oh, heh... / I have to tell you - / We keep saying the same - / ... / I...alright - / Okay, I - / You first! / No, you first! / ... / ... / Woman: My water broke. / Man: I think we should see other people.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: So, tell me - what are your feelings toward your mother? / Boy: I don't think that's really a fair question... / Caption: Never get psychoanalyzed by a parent.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Explorer: I claim this land for Portug - what the?! / Dammit! Who switched the flag?! / Caption: The British Empire grew rapidly.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Professor: AS SOCRATES ONCE SAID, "MWRAURAGHGRA! MARRARR-R-RRAGH!" "MWAHHH!" / Caption: What if Socrates had been a bear?
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man 1: My head hurts a little. / Lloyd: HOW ABOUT SOME TYLENOL!? / Label: Rat Poison / Caption: It's tough having Lloyd as a roommate. On the plus side, now I know why my wife is dead.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: HA! / Man's foot: KICK! / Dog: BARK! / Caption: I'm beginning to wonder if Fred had an ulterior motive in buying me a puppy for Christmas.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Fred: Nature is so amazing... Look at that cloud. It's shaped just like a crashing plane. / Wait a minute!. / Oh no! / Caption: Fred had forgotten his wife's birthday.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: It's so nice to finally meet you. / Sock Puppet Rodney: Run! She's too fat! Run before she eats you! / Man: Shutup Rodney / Sock Puppet Rodney: You shutup! / Man: No you shutup! / Caption: Shirley glanced about nervously, beginning to sweat all over. "Geez, this is awkward," she muttered to herself, "Why won't he just let Rodney talk?"
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Seniors Bingo Night / B-7! / Crowd of seniors: BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! / Bingo caller: Oh God...they sold us a defective kit...be cool...stay calm...how many toasters do we have? / Caption: Even the most senile of players would remember the ensuing bloodbath for well over 20 minutes.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: Excuse me, I just saw you walk by, and I...I just...do you believe in love at first sight? / Caption: In my excitement, I hadn't noticed the seeing eye dog.
Scouts Honor Man: I didn't kill my wife! You have to believe me! Scouts honor! / Jury of girl scouts: GASP! murmur murmur... / A hush fell over the jury. Foreman Susie squinted in the defendant's direction, rolling her loyalty badge over and over in her right hand. "Alright," she whispered to herself, "I'll hear his story. But, if he's lying, he'll fry for this."
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Steve: Death! / Death: Steve! I have come for you! / Steve: Oh no! / Death: Wait...is today the 24th or the 25th? / Steve: 24th / Death: Oh...nevermind.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Father: Bobby, I think you're old enough now to know - Santa isn't real / Bobby: But he just - / Santa Claus: MMF! MMF! / Father: YOU SAW NOTHING! / Caption: No, Santa isn't real. He hasn't been real since December 24th, 1986
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: This just in! / Newspaper: Blind date has unreasonably high standards based on own appearance.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Teacher: Class, I want you to know that I didn't use the letter-based system to grade your papers. I think it's a silly, unrealistic method. I mean, you can't just boil an individual down to an A- or a B+, can you? / Anyway, here are your papers. Billy Anderson? / Billy Anderson: Here! / Notes on paper: Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Johnny's Twin: Susan, Will you marry me? / Susan: Oh Johnny! Yes! Yes! / Caption: Thee-thousand dollars later, it's still the best prank I ever pulled on my twin brother.
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Steve: I don't need you anymore... / Voices from the crowd: Alright! / We knew you could do it! / Yeh! / We're so proud of you, son! / Caption: Steve would later claim he was speaking exclusively to the third cigarette from the left.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: Hi honey! What do you think of my - / Caption: Apparently, Ed wasn't very impressed with my new haircut.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Susie: Daddy! There's a monster in my closet! / Father: A monster?! / Caption: Fortunately, Susie's doors lock from the outside.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Woman: The stork! Our son is here! / Caption: We were both glad when the stork finally gave back our baby.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Doctor: Here you are, Mrs. Sanderson. / Mrs. Sanderson: Oh thank you doctor, I... Wait, didn't I give birth to a human baby? / Doctor (thought bubble): Uh oh. She can't know that you lost the baby! Oh God. She's looking at you! Quick! Say something clever! / Caption: "Uhhh... No?"
 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Man: Doc! I'm havin' these really bad *erk* chest pains! / Doctor: Wow. Chest pains. That's Real original. / Caption: Creativty 2, Weeks to live 1, Style! 6.5
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal The Grinch: They're singing! They're singing! They're actually singing! Their carolers still caroling! Their sleigh bells still ringing! They're dancing a dance! They're singing a song! Could it be I've misjudged Christmas love all along? / Caption: The Grinch was, however still refusing to give back either Thanksgiving or Easter.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Doctor: Hey, let's not dwell on the negatives here, okay? Several parts of your surgery WERE done correctly.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Devil on the shoulder: Kill the children! / Civic: Drive a Civic! / Caption: The advent of psychic advertising was not without its drawbacks. / Fortunately, Ted soon figured out a way to combine the two view points.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal American: Damn. Heads. / Soviet: Damn. / Caption: Thus began the Cold War.
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 >>