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| Registered Weapon » The Beginning | [[Interrogation room]]
/ Frank Gorman: We've scraped your DNA off the victim. We got a witness saw your shitty Kia Rio rattling from the scene.
/ Frank Gorman: Your own girlfriend said you planned to kill him. So no doubt about it, you're gonna fry.
/ Frank Gorman: But I want you to tell me what I already... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/01/12/the-beginning/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse | [[Frank's car speeds through the streets of Los Angeles]]
/ FELIX: This is so cool! Our first case!
/ Frank Gorman: Let's get one thing straight: there's no "our."
/ Frank Gorman: My thousandth case. Your first--and last--ride-along. / FELIX: Come on! We're going to solve a crime! Get excited! / Frank... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/01/20/joseph-alphonse/ |
| Registered Weapon » The Beginning: Episode 2 | Caption: Petty Crimes Division
/ FELIX: How long were your groceries unattended, ma'am?
/ Marlene: Am I talkin' to a cash register?
/ FELIX: In a former life, yes, I was a cash register.
/ Marlene: Am I high right now? Sometimes I forget.
/ < http://registered-weapon.com/2009/01/13/the-beginning-episode-2/ |
| Registered Weapon » The Beginning: Episode 3 | [[Lt. Rotunda Love's office]]
/ Rotunda Love: What the hell am I going to do with you, Gorman?
/ Rotunda Love: Seventeen charges of police brutality in the last week alone.
/ Frank Gorman: Hey, new record.
/ Rotunda Love: And now I got the ASPCA crawling up my ass 'cause you threatened to eat a cat? / Frank... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/01/14/the-beginning-episode-3/ |
| Registered Weapon » The Beginning: Episode 4 | [[Lt. Rotunda Love's office]]
/ Rotunda Love: The secret is keeping your eyes closed all the time. I'm up to 22 hours a day.
/ Rotunda Love: All so I'm ready to glare down a jackass who thinks he's too good for a new partner. / Frank Gorman: New partner?
/ Frank Gorman: Nice bluff, Lieu, but I've seen... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/01/15/the-beginning-episode-4/ |
| Registered Weapon » The Beginning: Episode 5 | [[Lt. Rotunda Love's office]]
/ FELIX: You wanted to see me, sir?
/ Rotunda Love: That's right, officer. This department has finally decided to put the taxpayers' investment to use.
/ FELIX: You mean--?
/ Frank Gorman: That you, Harvey? I told you that cancer kazoo freaks me out.
/ Frank Gorman: Get a pen... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/01/16/the-beginning-episode-5/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 2 | [[Frank's car]]
/ FELIX: You don't have to like me but you will respect--hey!
/ < http://registered-weapon.com/2009/01/23/joseph-alphonse-episode-2/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 3 | [[Frank's car]]
/ Frank Gorman: You missed one little detail with your spyware.
/ FELIX: My observational analysis.
/ Frank Gorman: Whatever. Maybe you should x-ray my right arm. / [[SCANNING...]]
/ [[SCANNING...]]
/ [[SCANNING...]]
/ [[SCANNING...]]
/ [[SCANNING...]] / [[SCAN COMPLETE]]
/ [[Frank's tattoo:... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/01/27/joseph-alphonse-episode-3/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 4 | [[Street - outside crime scene]]
/ Frank Gorman: !@#$! / Frank Gorman: Goddamn...no parking in this town..
/ Frank Gorman: Need to incarcerate more people...
/ FELIX: There's a spot three blocks north.
/ Frank Gorman: Screw that. / FELIX: You can't double-park!
/ Frank Gorman: The hell I can't. This is... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/01/30/joseph-alphonse-episode-4/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 5 | [[Street - outside crime scene]]
/ [[FELIX attempts to buff out dent on Smart Car]]
/ FELIX: Just give me a second to buff out this dent. / [[Frank picks up FELIX]]
/ FELIX: Hey! / Frank Gorman: Listen up, Johnny Five. You can finger-bang this thing on your own time.
/ Frank Gorman: Like say tomorrow,... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/02/03/joseph-alphonse-episode-5/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 6 | [[Playground - crime scene]]
/ Frank Gorman: Officer, what've you got for us?
/ Kirsten Sienega: Hey, Frank. And this must be... / Frank Gorman: What R2-D2 squirted out nine months after that night in the escape pod with C-3PO. / Kirsten Sienega: Actually, I was on the officers' committe that recommended... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/02/06/joseph-alphonse-episode-6/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 7 | [[Playground - crime scene]]
/ [[Frank looks at the handless, footless, headless body]]
/ Frank Gorman: You really got to hand it to whoever did this. It's quite a feat. / [[FELIX and Kirsten roll their eyes]] / Frank Gorman: What? / Frank Gorman: What?
/ Kirsten Sienega: Nothing.
/ FELIX: That was...hilarious.... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/02/10/joseph-alphonse-episode-7/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 8 | [[Playground - crime scene]]
/ Frank Gorman: Do we have an ID on the vic?
/ Kirsten Sienega: No wallet on him. No fingerprints, obviously. Or dental records. / Frank Gorman: Anything from the looky-loos?
/ Kirsten Sienega: We're doing interviews, but... / Frank Gorman: Nobody saw nothin'. Why am I not... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/02/13/joseph-alphonse-episode-8/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 9 | [[Playground - crime scene]]
/ FELIX: Check this out.
/ Frank Gorman: What? Diddums find a clue? Did Professor Plum tell you where he hid the candlestick? Were the smugglers using a secret tunnel behind the bookcase?
/ Frank Gorman: This ain't a game, Joe Hardy. Now watch a real detective at work. / FELIX:... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/02/17/joseph-alphonse-episode-9/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 10 | Frank Gorman: How did you figure out the victim's name? / FELIX: See that needle mark on his arm?
/ Frank Gorman: No. / FELIX: It's from giving blood. A quick blood test identified him as AB-negative, and from there it was a simple matter to cross-reference with the local blood bank records. / Frank... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/02/20/joseph-alphonse-episode-10/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 11 | [[Playground - crime scene]]
/ Frank Gorman: Stanley Brookmeyer? Are you just making up names now? / [[FELIX points to a footprint with an elephant logo]]
/ FELIX: This design is the signature of graffiti artist Troy Hockelman, who designed a limited-edition sneaker for the Sole Power store in Silver... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/02/24/joseph-alphonse-episode-11/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 12 | [[Street next to playground/crime scene]]
/ FELIX: We have to hurry, Frank! Brookmeyer is booked on a flight to Mexico in thirty minutes.
/ Frank Gorman: Just settle down, okay?
/ Frank Gorman: When you get all excited like that it's like watching a toaster that has to take a piss. / Dr. Johannes Elvis:... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/02/27/joseph-alphonse-episode-12/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 13 | [[Street outside playground - crime scene]]
/ Dr. Johannes Elvis: This is an outrage, sir! You and your pleasurebot have damaged my conveyance, and I demand restitution, Officer-- / Frank Gorman: Detective. Detective Frank Gorman. / Dr. Johannes Elvis: Very well, Detective Gorman. I am Dr. Johannes... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/03/03/joseph-alphonse-episode-13/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 14 | [[Outside playground/crime scene - cars]]
/ Dr. Johannes Elvis: So if Gorton's makes fish sticks, then what does Gorman's make?
/ Frank Gorman: I don't know. Nothing. / Frank Gorman: See ya later, idiot! / Frank Gorman: Ooh, I just thought of something. Say what you said again. / Dr. Johannes Elvis:... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/03/06/joseph-alphonse-episode-14/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 15 | [[Outside playground/crime scene - cars]]
/ Dr. Johannes Elvis: You are going to pay me...
/ Frank Gorman: A compliment. Nice goggles. Gotta go. Police emergency. / Dr. Johannes Elvis: You shall rue the day you crossed Dr. Elvis, Detective Fishstick! You and your little pet robot! Rue the day! / [[Frank's... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/03/10/joseph-alphonse-episode-15/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 16 | [[Frank's car on the 405]]
/ [[Frank and FELIX are stuck behind a truck with two camels in the back]] / Frank Gorman: Do me a favor and look up how many consecutive horn honks allow for use of lethal force.
/ FELIX: Most reasonable drivers would've anticipated traffic on the 405, Detective Fishstick. / Frank... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/03/13/joseph-alphonse-episode-16/ |
| Registered Weapon » Joseph Alphonse: Episode 17 | [[LAX - Los Angeles International Airport]]
/ FELIX: The plane's taxiing for take-off!
/ Frank Gorman: Faster! Faster! / [[The camel gives Frank a look]]
/ Frank Gorman: What? What are you gonna do? I put six slugs in that death merchant Joe Camel, so don't think I'll hesitate to do the same to you. All... http://registered-weapon.com/2009/03/17/joseph-alphonse-episode-17/ |
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