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| Ronette Pulaski | [[Possibly Blind Guy has a nice chat with Generic Character #56]]
/ PBG: (Picture of a girl) Want to start a moopsball team? (Picture of a dog)
/ GC#56: What the hell is up with your speech? / PBG: It's been (Picture of a lamp) weird all week. I (Picture of a saw) think it's because (Picture of a squid) of this bubbly potion (Picture of the same squid) I drank. / [[Dimetrodons!!!]]
/ {{Earlier}}
/ Panel: DIMETRODONS ROAMED THE EARTH
/ Dimetrodon Gifted with Speech: Where I am from there are always singing women. / [[Flashback!]]
/ Singing Woman 1: Mairzy doats
/ And doazy doats
/ And liddle lamzy divey
/ A kiddely divey, too
/ wouldn't you?
/ Singing Woman 2: Low Bridge, everybody down
/ Low Bridge, for we're coming through a town
/ And you'll always know your neighbor
/ You'll always know your pal
/ If you've ever navigated... / [[Flat Top Guy and Parted in the Middle Guy are stuck in underground bunkers!!!]]
/ {{Later}}
/ Panel: EVERYONE LIVES UNDERGROUND BECAUSE THE SURFACE WORLD IS TRASHED.
/ FTG: This sucks. / [[Back to PBG's earlier self]]
/ {{Earlier than that, but later than the dimetrodons}}
/ PBG: Hey, a bubbly potion! http://mountaincomics.com/2009/11/23/ronette-pulaski/ |
| Playing With Bubble Wrap In A Dumpster | [[This comic is set up like a mad lib. The words in parenthesis are what is written underneath the line (Meaning what you should fill in)]]
/ Astronaut 1: Man, I was in the (Noun) too long. My (Noun) is all (Adjective).
/ Astronaut 2: I know! I've been (Gerund) for the last (Number) hours. / [[The astronauts find a cave.]]
/ Astronaut 1: Hey, what do you think is in there? I bet it's (Plural Noun).
/ Astronaut 2: Psh. I bet it's where (Famous Person) keeps his/her spent mortar shells. / [[Scene jump to penguins.]]
/ Penguin 1: Why would (Same Person) have spent mortar shells?
/ Penguin 2: Because it's wise to braise one's soul to perfection upon the stove of war. / Penguin 1: So (Same Person) aspires to join the einherjar in Valhalla?
/ Penguin 2: It is so. Now get me a lasso -- I feel like making some mistakes. / [[Scene jump to a man dangling on a rope over crocodiles.]]
/ Crocodile: Our trap is working! / [[To the top of the hole.]]
/ Sign: Get mauled by crocodiles. / Man on rope: My eyebrows grow flowers. / [[Back to the astronauts; this time there's an alien monster with them!]]
/ Alien: You two sure look (Adjective).
/ Astronaut 1+2: (Verb) me! / [[Scene jump to crocodile and snailbear]]
/ Crocodile: Snailbears make a thousand promises but keep none.
/ Snailbear: Rarr! http://mountaincomics.com/2009/11/26/playing-with-bubble-wrap-in-a-dumpster/ |
| Puddle Inaccuracies | Dude 1: Checkit it out: I can talk with my hand.
/ Dude 2: Big deal. / Dude 2: I can talk with my hand... / Dude 2: Out the window of my rocketship. / Chess Knight: I programmed his ship to fly to Chainsawnia.
/ Dude 1: The planet whereupon all things are chainsaws --
/ Chess Knight & Dude 1 (in unison): Even the pudding! / [[Dude 1 imagines himself on Chainsawnia:]]
/ Dude 1: I think I'll have a pudding cup. / Dude 1: AUGH! It's a cup of chainsaws!
/ Mailbox: You are SO correct. / Mailbox: You get a CHAINSAW PARADE!
/ [[The thought bubble closes, becoming the thoughts of a racket-sport-playing bear named Trevor]]
/ Trevor: Why was I thinking that?
/ Off-screen voice: Your serve, Trevor. http://mountaincomics.com/2009/12/01/puddle-inaccuracies/ |
| Sherman’s Act | [[Comic opens on the Are You Thinking About Cows December '09 edition]] / Otto: Alright! I'm a comprehensive cowtemplator!
/ Salmon-arms Johnny: Man, I'm an Illawarra Ignoramus. I don't even get the wordplay. / Vase-Head: Electric skillets must go!
/ Broom-Obsessed Guy: Broom technology is lagging! / [[Picture of a broom with the text: BROOMS of the FUTURE]] / [[Diagram of a Sweepspot 3000, complete with carbon nanotube stick, laser guided bristles and a broom shape.]] / [[Diagram of an Antidust Act 1890, complete with weapons-grade dust pan, sentience, and you guessed it, broom shape.]] / [[Diagram of the Dirt Rapist X12, with a core of liquid hatred, incineration ray, and broom semblance.]] / [[Igloo Scene]]
/ Igloo: Our decadent brooms will be our undoing! / [[Back to Vase-Head and Broom-Obsessed Guy]]
/ Vase-Head: So hey, thanks for talking over my electric skillet argument. / Otto: ...and that's the history of the Illawarra.
/ Johnny: Wow, thanks, Otto! http://mountaincomics.com/2009/12/03/shermans-act/ |
| Aggravation For Young | [[Comic opens on a woman and a robot]]
/ Woman: Where have you been all day?
/ Robot: I've been throwing all your high heels into the ocean. / [[The robot is throwing shoes off a cliff into the ocean]]
/ Robot: It was a compulsive thing. / Woman: Robots don't have "compulsive things"! / Robot: Yeah, Dave came by earlier and programmed me to have emotional disorders. / {{Earlier}}
/ Robot: My sadness is comforting.
/ Dave: Good. Now donate shoes to the sea people. / [[Back to now]]
/ Robot: Then he told me to tell everyone that he'll be at the mall tonight. / Woman: Wait a minute... / {{Intermission}}
/ [[This panel contains dice stew]] / {{Intermission}}
/ Crocodile 1: You think that dice stew is any good?
/ Crocodile 2: Eh, it's always a crapshoot. / {{Intermission}}
/ [[Crocodile 1 shoots Crocodile 2]] / [[Now back to the comic]]
/ Woman: Ha! You're clever, Dave, but not clever enough! / [[Dead Crocodile with the words TO BE CONTINUED]] http://mountaincomics.com/2009/12/08/aggravation-for-young/ |
| Aggravation For Old | [[The comic picks up where it left off last time]]
/ {{Continued}}
/ Woman: You see... / [[Scene changes to sea people viewing the falling shoes]]
/ Woman: The sea people will see the shoes as an insult, since they don't have feet. / Woman: Being high heels, the shoes will suggest the idea of "rising up".
/ Sea Person: LIBERT?, ?GALIT?, FRATERNIT? OU LA MORT! / Woman: Dave is trying to start a war between the sea people and the land people! (Not pictured.)
/ [[Pictured is a frog and a duck having a party]] / Woman: But I know what to do! / Robot: So what about the mall thing?
/ Woman: High ceilings. / [[Scene change to Dave vs. Surf Rat; Dave is on the ceiling]]
/ Dave: Nice try, Surf Rat! / [[Dave is standing on the ceiling with his arms folded in a triumphant manner]] / [[Surf Rat comes back on the ceiling]]
/ Narrator: Surf Rat triumphs again, riding the Wave of Freedom wherever he goes! / [[Woman throws a tablet off the cliff]] / [[Sea people find it and read it]] / Tablet: DON'T WORRY WE'VE TAKEN CARE OF THE LAND PEOPLE -THE CONDORS http://mountaincomics.com/2009/12/10/aggravation-for-old/ |
| Gargons! | [[The scene opens to Otto and a man who thinks his feet are on fire.]]
/ Man: AUGH! AUGH!
/ Otto: What's wrong?! / Man: I randomly get the sensation that my feet are on fire. / [[Panel: It all started in 2005: The year that everyone got a giant rock that was identical to everyone else's giant rock.]] / [[Two guys are complimenting each other on their rocks]]
/ Guys (In Unison): Wow, that's a big one you've got there. / [[Scene change to a condor]]
/ Condor: That's what she said! / Condor: Man, I love my new island hideout. / [[Onion comes in]]
/ Onion (Thinking): That idiot thinks this is an island? / [[The camera pans underwater to show that the island actually an incredibly creepy looking Telly Savalas head]]
/ Shark: Is it just me, or does the giant Telly Savalas head look extra creepy today? / [[Cut back to the two guys who are being eaten by monsters that have hatched out of the boulders]]
/ Guy 1: Oh god! Hideous man-eating monsters are hatching from our rocks!
/ Guy 2: I noticed that too. / [[Cut back to the present]]
/ Otto: Yep, that sounds like the 2005 I remember.
/ Man: AUGH! http://mountaincomics.com/2009/12/14/gargons/ |
| It Is A Bridge; It Is Not A Bridge | [[Comic opens to the astronauts]]
/ Astronaut 1: Do you ever listen to bossa nova music?
/ Astronaut 2: No.
/ Astronaut 1: Right. No one I know does! / Astronaut 1: They only know it as a preset on keyboards. / Astronaut 1: Which is crazy, because it means the whole genre is pretty much defined by Casio! / [[Break in coherency; Panel: BEING A WHALE ISN'T A CHOICE!]] / [[Back to the story, a monster shows up (big surprise)]]
/ Alien: "History is written by the winners."
/ Astronaut 1: Exactly. Only instead of history, it's the general perception of bossa nova music, and instead of winners, it's Casio. / [[Scene cut to a guy who LOVES nailin' chicks and obeying traffic laws]]
/ GWLNC+OTL: Man, there's nothing like nailin' chicks and obeyin' traffic laws. / [[Wizard shows up, and zaps GWLNC+OTL]]
/ GWLNC+OTL: At separate times of course! / [[GWLNC+OTL turns into a belt sander]]
/ GWLNC+OTL: Even when turned into a belt sander, I can appreciate the value of nailin chicks and obeyin' traffic laws. / [[Scene cuts back to Astronaut 2, Astronaut 1 presumed dead]]
/ Astronaut 2 (Thinking): I bet being a whale is a choice. / [[A shadow appears over Astronaut 2]] / [[A whale falls on Astronaut 2; Panel: BEING A WHALE ISN'T A CHOICE!]] http://mountaincomics.com/2009/12/15/it-is-a-bridge-it-is-not-a-bridge/ |
| Five Boats | [[Two lesbians are swing dancing. Panel: TODAY ON MOUNTAIN TIME: LESBIANS!]] / [[Panel: BUT FIRST, IT'S THE STAIRCASE OLYMPICS]] / [[Panel: Event: STAIRCASE RACE]] / [[Picture of a hammer and saw. Panel: TEAMS RACE TO BUILD A COMPLETE STAIRCASE FROM SCRATCH]] / [[Picture of a man running up a staircase. Panel: AND HAVE SOMEBODY GO UP IT]] / [[Picture of a man running down a staircase. Panel: AND THEN COME BACK DOWN]] / [[Scene changes to announcer]]
/ Announcer: U.K. team member Punt Speedchunk expects his team to do well in the race's climbing stage. / [[Scene cuts to Speedchunk]]
/ Speedchunk: We've got guys on this team who've been climbing stairs their whole lives. / [[Back to Announcer]]
/ Announcer: That's Punt Speedchunk, subject of the 2007 documentary "The Englishman Who Went Up A Staircase But Came Down It Later". / Announcer: I've just received word that U.S. Freestyle Staircase builder Dale Luberdot has set a new world record. / [[To Field Reporter]]
/ Field Reporter: That's right, Paul. Luberdot's staircase is so tall we can't even see the top of it. / [[To Dale Luberdot]]
/ {{At the top}}
/ Dale Luberdot: I can see my hands from here! / [[Picture of Dale's hand... You'd have to see it.]] / [[Back To Dale]]
/ Dale Luberdot: Ambition begat simony! / [[One lesbian is sitting at a table, reading, while the other is attempting to fix tea. Panel: AND NOW: LESBIANS!]]
/ Lesbian: We're out of tea. http://mountaincomics.com/2009/12/17/five-boats/ |
| Aunt Ruth? | [[Comic opens to a man who has completed his quest to locate Gigan]]
/ Man: Gigan? Wow, I always thought you'd be bigger.
/ Gigan: ?No hay banda! / [[Picture of the land of Avisio, complete with faceless Avisioans Panel: In the land of Avisio]] / [[Eyeballs and Eyelashes wage war against each other. Panel: Two invading armies clash.]] / [[Picture of the Eye King, King Ojo. Panel: THE EYE PEOPLE FIGHT FOR THE GLORY OF KING OJO.]]
/ King Ojo: I become a different person when I bathe.
/ Eyes: HUZZAH! / [[Panel shows the Prophet Augenbraue. Panel: THE EYEBROW PEOPLE CRUSADE IN THE NAME OF THE PROPHET AUGENBRAUE.]]
/ Augenbraue: I'm really more of an allegorical figure. / [[Scene change to an Avisonian.]]
/ Panel: THE FACELESS AVISONIANS CAN ONLY WATCH AS WAR SPREADS ACROSS THEIR LAND.
/ Avisonian: No we can't.
/ Panel: OH, BUT YOU CAN TALK? / [[Hula-hooping Alpacas... don't ask... Panel: ANYWAY, THERE WAS A LOT OF FIGHTING. THERE WERE ALSO HULA-HOOPING ALPACAS.]] / [[See panel 2, only with faces. Panel: AND SO, YEAH, WHEN THE WAR ENDED EVERYONE IN AVISIO HAD A FACE.]] / Mothra: Silencio. http://mountaincomics.com/2010/01/04/aunt-ruth/ |
| Grimace And Christy | [[Agoraphobic Hamster Title]]
/ Panel: AGORAPHOBIC HAMSTER STARTS A COCCYXOCRACY / [[Panel shows Agoraphobic Hamster's home.]]
/ Agoraphobic Hamster: No I don't. You're thinking of someone else.
/ Panel: OK... / [[Agoraphobic Hamster Title with Otto]]
/ Panel: OTTO STARTS A COCCYXOCRACY / [[And back to Agoraphobic Hamster]]
/ Hamster: Otto doesn't get title cards. That's pretty much just me (and sometimes the dinosaur).
/ Panel: FINE. / [[Scene change to Otto and a duck.]]
/ Otto: I do not endorse the tenants of coccyxocracy. I don't even have a coccyx!
/ Duck: My turban is made of roast beef. / Duck: This fine chapeau was wrought from turmoil in a compelling manner I do not wish to discuss. / [[Headgehog comes in and the duck flies away]]
/ Headgehog: Have you considered grimocracy?
/ Otto: What's that? / Headgehog: Rule by Grimace! / Headgehog: The movement has already inspired historical artists! / [[A historical artwork of the signing of the Constitution starring Grimace.]] http://mountaincomics.com/2010/01/07/grimace-and-christy/ |
| Not A Gila Monster | [[A scientist is testing out his new invention, the Emotihat, on an unaware subject]]
/ Scientist: Today we're testing my new invention, the Emotihat. / Scientist: It allows me to set the wearer's emotional state! / Scientist: Tell me how you feel.
/ Subject: I'm suddenly very happy.
/ Scientist: Perfect! / Subject: Now I feel anxious.
/ Scientist: Bingo! / Subject: Now I feel like I'm staring at a box of Quisp cereal.
/ Scientist: 3 for 3! / [[Scene cuts to a man and his girlfriend for female friend or something who is about to show her his "thing" while an alien monster observes]]
/ Girlfriend: Is that your new thing?
/ Man: That is not it.
/ Monster: Aww... / [[Monster leaves]]
/ Man: This is it: my new condo. / [[The onion jumps out to attack what he thinks is a condor.]] / Onion: Oops... I thought you said "condor"
/ Man: From now on, I'm only referring to condoms as "rubbers". / [[Scene cuts back to the subject who is now with Waffle Conin' Conan]]
/ Subject: Now I feel like I'm winning a sack race but lamenting the underuse of horns in modern music.
/ Conan: Me too. / Conan: It is the best feeling. http://mountaincomics.com/2010/01/11/not-a-gila-monster/ |
| The Sink That Destroyed Fear But Was Not A Sink | [[Comic opens in mid conversation between two people]]
/ Guy 1: ...so what you're saying is a statement?
/ Guy 2: Yes. / Guy 2: Incidentally Spearmint is our state mint. / [[Scene cuts to a Mint Leaf holding a spear and a rabbit owner and his rabbit.]]
/ Spear Mint: Sir, you can't park your rabbit there.
/ Guy 1: Says who? / [[Shows the patch for the Department of the State Mint]]
/ Spear Mint: Says the...
/ Badge: Department of the State Mint. / [[Closeup on the rabbit.]]
/ Rabbit (Thinking): Oh no! I have to move! / Rabbit (Thinking): To the Rabbitmobile (which is my legs)! / Guy 1: There goes the best damn rabbit within 12 feet. / [[Picture of a rabbit with 12 feet]]
/ Panel: The best damn rabbit with 12 feet. / [[Scene cuts to a 12 foot rabbi.]]
/ Guy 1: Hey it's the best damn 12-foot rabbi! / Rabbi: I'm tall.
/ Rabbi: Be Jewish. / Guy 1 (Thinking): Well, he IS tall... / [[Panel cuts to an auto corporation help desk.]]
/ {{Later}}
/ Guy 1: How do I become Jewish?
/ Secretary: Sorry, but this help desk is only for car questions.
/ Guy 1: ok... / Guy 1: BEEP BEEP CAN I BE A JEW? http://mountaincomics.com/2010/01/14/the-sink-that-destroyed-fear-but-was-not-a-sink/ |
| Happy Foam Happenings | [[A new character, Old Seeming Woman, comes onto the stage]]
/ OSW: You're not really my son. / [[The camera pulls back to show that OSW is talking to a platypus]]
/ OSW: You're a platypus I've been doting on as a psychological experiment. / [[Camera zooms in on platypus]] / Panel: WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS / [[Picture of a lemon sex party... you'd have to see it to get it...]]
/ SEND THEM TO A LEMON SEX PARTY / [[Dave appears and zaps a lemon with his "SUDDEN REAPPRAISAL OF VALUES" ray.]] / Lemon: I have to go buy flood insurance! / [[This panel depicts a T-Bone Steak mowing a lawn being attacked by a lit bomb swinging in on a rope wielding a knife.]]
/ FLOODS ARE NO LAUGHING MATTER. / [[Dave grows back to normal size]] / [[Generic Stick Man 4028 walks in]]
/ GSM4028: Wow, Dave! I didn't know you could shrink!
/ Dave: I didn't know you were a coat hanger! / [[GSM4028 turns into a coat hanger (GCH4028)]]
/ GCH4028: I'm not -- damn. http://mountaincomics.com/2010/03/01/happy-foam-happenings/ |
| Phrase Anvil | [[Nothing]]
/ Panel: IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS NOTHING / [[Then there were these two guys]]
/ Panel: THEN THERE WERE THESE TWO GUYS
/ Guy 2: Hey, aren't you the guy who invented the sippy cup?
/ Richard Belanger: Yes / [[Wasp appears]]
/ Richard Belanger: I've been working for years on my follow-up, the sippy plate, but I've got nothing to show for it. / Guy 2: Dude. There is a HUGE wasp by your head. / [[Richard Belanger shrugs]]
/ Richard Belanger: Meh. / Guy 2: Oh my God. It's on you. HOW IS THAT NOT BOTHERING YOU?!
/ Richard Belanger: Eh. / Guy 2: It's stinging you! Doesn't that hurt? / [[Richard Belanger has a stinger through his head...]]
/ Richard Belanger: I guess it hurts a little... / Wasp: 2 cups unbleached flour, 1 cup warm water, 1 cup whole wheat flour / Guy 2: Oh, nevermind! It's a muffin-recipe wasp!
/ Wasp: 2 tablespoons vegetable oil, 1 tablespoon dry yeast, 1 teaspoon salt / Guy 2 & Wasp (The same time):And cornmeal.
/ Guy 2: The cornmeal is key! http://mountaincomics.com/2010/03/04/phrase-anvil/ |
| Steam Supreme | [[Comic opens to snake and a man with a burnt ice-cream cone beard]]
/ Snake: Change for a dollar?
/ Beard: Sure! / [[Bearded man moves on to a woman who is obviously salading]]
/ Beard: I made a dollar today, but now I don't eat meat.
/ Woman: Go away. I'm salading. / Beard: Things have been worse since salad became a verb. / [[Panel text accompanied by a screenshot of Personal Space Invaders.]]
/ Panel: FOR INSTANCE: All copies of Space Invaders suddenly became Personal Space Invaders.
/ Laser Cannon: Do you mind? Can't you go over there? / [[Back to the action at hand as a ninja attacks the Beard!]]
/ Ninja: Hi-ya! / [[The Beard grabs the Ninja...]] / [[...and proceeds to fling him...]] / [[..into a wall.]] / Beard: Hey, I'm a vegetarian now.
/ Ninja: What, are you going to start following the Great One? / [[Scene changes to the Great One]]
/ Great One: Hey kids! You don't have to be a vegetarian to follow me! / Great One: All you need is a healthy interest in preserving hot dogs. / [[Monster appears]]
/ Monster: Hey Great One - what's the deal with preserving hot dogs? Are you trying to build a harem? / [[Monster disappears]]
/ Great One: Well, that's all our time for today, kids! http://mountaincomics.com/2010/03/08/steam-supreme/ |
| Ocean Fur Bacon Cake | [[Comic opens to preposition broccoli]]
/ PB: OF! / [[Camera zooms out to show Random Guy #587]]
/ RG587: Huh?
/ PB: UNDER! / PB: BY! / RG587: Oh well.
/ PB: WITH! / [[Later on RG587 has a rousing chat with the Florida Monster]]
/ {{Later}}
/ Florida: So you ate the preposition broccoli?
/ RG587: Yep. Grew a doorbell on my face. / [[Florida pushes the doorbell]] / Florida: Where's the "ding-dong"?
/ RG587: Right in front of me!
/ Panel: "The Indictment of Beauty" / [[Meanwhile on a desert island...]]
/ {{Meanwhile}}
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2010/03/11/ocean-fur-bacon-cake/ |
| Stale Gin | [[Two Guys, who will become known as Paul and Charle are having a nice little chat. Oh yeah, and they're on jet packs.]]
/ Paul: Hi. I'm Paul.
/ Charle: I'm Charle. / [[A jet table comes up from the lower end of the panel]]
/ Paul: No s?
/ Charle: My parents couldn't afford one. / [[The jet table is in full view; it has a tea set.]]
/ Paul: You could just say it with an s.
/ Charle: That's stealing! / [[A jet end table and jet shrubbery appear as well]]
/ Paul: So? Stealing is just an anagram of genitals.
/ Charle: Which sounds like generals. / Charle: And generals hold high rank in the military, just as principals hold a high rank in schools. And, obviously, principals is a homophone of principles. / [[Jet cowboy appears]]
/ Charle: So it's really all a matter of principles.
/ Jetcowboy: I reckon stealing is also an anagram for get slain. / Charle: Forget sleighing? But that's my fondest childhood Christmastime memory! / [[Charle imagines himself riding a dolphin while dunking a basketball over a giant piece of cheese and a bratwurst stand as two skeleton warriors look on, obviously not sleighing as we know it.]] / [[Charle continues to imagine himself throwing the dolphin at some bananas as we get a glimpse of the real world once again... nothing's changed]]
/ Paul: Hey, I think Surf Rat is triumphing down there! http://mountaincomics.com/2010/03/15/stale-gin/ |
| Cognitive Dissonance In An Elevator | [[Otto and Generic Character discuss going to a movie]]
/ Otto: Want to go see / [[Panel is a Movie Poster for Trampoline Tony and the MAN EATING LETTUCE from TORONTO]] / [[Back to our heros!]]
/ Otto: ?
/ GC: Nah. Those big-budget movies really bend my sea lion. / Otto: Are you sure? It's supposed to be a tossed salad of terror.
/ GC: Who wants to see killer produce? / [[Onion, Condor, Etc...]]
/ Onion: That's one small death for a condor. / Onion: One giant leap for said condor's head. / [[Back to Otto and Generic Character, who has turned into a sphere]]
/ Otto: I'd say you have a point, but you've become a sphere.
/ GC: Here come the Euclidean pixies. / [[Chimneyfoot the pixie!!!]]
/ Panel: BUT NOT ALL OF THEM. CHIMNEYFOOT NEVER GOT INVITED TO SPHERE RAIDS. / [[Back to the action afoot!]]
/ Panel: A gregarious spirit is worth little without the aid of a glad countenance. http://mountaincomics.com/2010/03/25/cognitive-dissonance-in-an-elevator/ |
| Girl | [[It's here comes that girl week! Standing alone is Here Comes That Girl Guy.]]
/ HCTGGuy (Thinking): Here comes that cute girl from down the hall. / HCTGGuy (Thinking): Looks like she's going to do laundry. / HCTGGuy (Thinking): Gotta think of something to say... / HCTGGuy (Thinking): Do I know any laundry jokes? / [[HCTGGuy thinks about it...]] / HCTGGuy (Thinking): What's the difference between the regular cycle and the delicate cycle? / [[HCTGGuy stands there...]] / HCTGGuy (Thinking): Delicateness. / [[HCTGGuy stands there again...]] / [[HCTGGuy is actually on an island... hmm...]] http://mountaincomics.com/2010/03/29/girl/ |
| That | Guy {thinking}: Here comes that cute girl from down the hall. / Guy {thinking}: She could be a model. / Guy {thinking}: But not for anything sexy, like lingerie. / Guy {thinking}: No, she should be a model in a family-oriented catalog.
/ http://mountaincomics.com/2010/03/30/that/ |
| Comes | [[Standard opening of Here Comes That Girl Week]]
/ HCTGGuy (Thinking): Here comes that cute girl from down the hall. / [[Now he's in a hall...]]
/ HCTGGuy (Thinking): and there's the pongee pit the neighbor dug, / [[Oh look, a court order]]
/ HCTGGuy (Thinking): and here's the court order that says I can't communicate with anyone for a month, / [[Hey, another one]]
/ HCTGGuy (Thinking): and here's the one that says I can't build any bridges, covers, or partitions. / [[HCTGGuy goes into his room, 102, while it is heavily implied that the Cute Girl fell into the pongee pit.]]
/ HCTGGuy (Thinking): Now where's my handbook on contrived situations?
/ Cute Girl: AUGH!
/ Panel: THE END / [[Deja Vu... It's starting again!]]
/ HCTGGuy (Thinking): Here comes that cute girl from down the hall. / HCTGGuy: HEY! WHAT'S UP WITH PTOLEMY, AM I RIGHT? / Someone, maybe the Girl: YEAH! A GEOCENTRIC UNIVERSE? REALLY? / HCTGGuy: HEY PTOLEMY: YOU SERIOUSLY LACK SCOPE! / Someone, maybe the Girl: WHAT AN ANTHROPOCENTRIC BUTT TROWEL! / [[Oh look, it's Ptolemy!]]
/ Panel: Ptolemy: still dead. http://mountaincomics.com/2010/03/31/comes/ |
| Here | [[It's still Here Comes That Girl week!!!]]
/ HCTGG (Thinking): Here comes that cute girl from down the hall. / HCTGG (Thinking): Good thing I'm wearing my / [[HCTGG is wearing skunk pants...]]
/ HCTGG: SKUNK PANTS! / [[Now he's shaking maracas]]
/ Panel: SHAKE YOUR MARACAS!
/ {{Shake 'em x 4}} / [[That Girl walks in]]
/ That Girl: How come you're always standing out in the hall? / HCTGG: Because I like to be OUTSTANDING! / [[HCTGG has salamis now.]]
/ Panel: SHAKE YOUR SALAMIS!
/ That Girl: You're Deranged.
/ {{Shake 'em x 4}} / [[That girl walks off]]
/ HCTGG: Oh yeah? Well / [[Lenny the Fuck You Zebra Time]]
/ Panel: You just got kicked by LENNY THE FUCK YOU ZEBRA / [[Zebra joins HCTGG in shaking Gouramis]]
/ Panel: SHAKE YOUR GOURAMIS!
/ {{Shake 'em x 4}} http://mountaincomics.com/2010/04/01/here/ |
| Somewhere, There's A Jark | [[A hunter and a mailbox discuss politeness]]
/ Mailbox: If it's rude to point, then polite behavior is pointless. / [[The hunter doesn't like that remark and shoots the mailbox, who apparently is filled with blood]] / [[The penguins show up to collect the blood]]
/ Penguin: Quick--collect its blood! It will makes us virile and spark our interest in fondue. / [[Meanwhile, Jesus!]]
/ Not Advancing the Plot Whatsoever Man: Jesus!
/ Jesus: Yes, I am Jesus, of the Christ family; I wear sandals. / [[Jesus grows a few more heads]]
/ Jesus/Karzizar: But lo, when I grow new heads, I become Karzizar. / Jesus/Karzizar: I am the atom and the sun; the line and the circle; the "where's your silverware drawer" of the universe. / [[Jesus'/Karzizar's word bubble gets really messed up]]
/ Jesus/Karzizar: I am the god of cosmic understandiiiiiiiiiiiiing. *
/ *in sandals. / [[Not Advancing the Plot Whatsoever Man stares at Jesus/Karzizar]] / [[Not Advancing the Plot Whatsoever Man's head explodes]] / [[A totem pole is riding a seal through the air.]] / [[Jesus/Karzizar grows a few more heads]]
/ Jesus/Karzizar's Right-Hand-Head: HEADS
/ Jesus/Karzizar's Center-Right-Head: HEADS
/ Jesus/Karzizar's Center-Left-Head: HEADS
/ Jesus/Karzizar's Left-Hand-Head: HEADS http://mountaincomics.com/2010/04/05/somewhere-theres-a-jark/ |
| Oh, So THAT'S Why It's Called "Mountain Time" | [[Poor Judgement Character is standing on top of a building while Small Hat Guy looks on]] / SHG: You sure about this jump? / PJC: I told you: the extreme desperation and fear I'll experience while falling is my best shot at unleashing any latent flying ability I might have. / SHG: I just met a guy down here named Bran. / SHG: What kind of wierdo name is that? / PJG: Sounds like a regular guy to me. / PJG: Ok, here I go. / [[PJG Jumps]] / [[SHG looks on]] / [[Nothing but building]] / SHG: Hey, I bet that Bran guy's a real flake, huh? / [[Nothing happens in this panel...]] / SHG: heh / SHG: I bet his last name is Chofgovernment. / SHG: heh http://mountaincomics.com/2010/04/08/oh-so-thats-why-its-called-mountain-time/ |
| Does It Make You More A Kid If You Wanna Off This | [[Enter Paul and Frisbee Enthusiast]]
/ Frisbee Enthusiast: Hey Paul, can you help me? / Frisbee Enthusiast: My frisbee went over that wall that's forever miles long. / [[Paul has a thought]]
/ Paul's Bearded Mental-Me: Wall school will never pay off.
/ Paul: Wrong again, bearded mental-me. / [[Paul walks toward the wall]] / [[Paul bumps into the wall]] / [[Paul looks up]]
/ Paul (Thinking): Hmm... must be a solid. / Paul: Do you have any cows? You could make a--
/ Frisbee Enthusiast: cow staircase? I tried it, / [[Creepy bunny face]]
/ Frisbee Enthusiast: but once you stack 2 cows, this guy with rabbit ears comes and makes faces at you. / Paul: Do you think we could get a catapult? / [[Frisbee Enthusiast imagines a cat pole vaulting]] / Frisbee Enthusiast: That is a ridiculous idea. / Paul: I know. / Paul: I am allergic to catapults. http://mountaincomics.com/2010/05/03/does-it-make-you-more-a-kid-if-you-wanna-off-this/ |
| Talking Plants | [[A giant gopher is discussing talking plants with Number Six]]
/ Gopher: Even if they have limited vocabularies, talking plants are impressive. / Number Six: Woah. / [[Number Six's head falls off]] / [[It starts to roll]] / [[It's approaching a cliff]]
/ Number Six's Head: Uh-oh. / [[Number Six's head falls of the cliff]] / [[It begins to plummet toward a man in glasses and a striped shirt]] / [[And it lands, causing a bloody SPLAT!]] / [[The man in glasses and a striped shirt has died]] / [[News article of the story]]
/ Newspaper: CORPSE OF TWO HEADED MAN FOUND
/ Newspaper: MAYFLIES OBSERVED IN FLIGHT; RENAMED DOFLIES / [[Brigand is reading the story]]
/ Brigand: I reckon that's what happens when folks take to matin' with ice cream cones. / [[Attractive Plaid Skirted Lady walks in]]
/ APSL: I'm not an ice cream cone, Brigand. / Brigand: You lie. / [[APSL turns into Attractive Ice Cream Cone Lady]]
/ AICCL: Yeah... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/05/13/talking-plants/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2010/05/20/philip/">http://mountaincomics.com/2010/05/20/philip/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Almonds | Girl: Hey baby, wanna go "throw a make-believe sea creature into a cornfield"?
/ Mustache Guy: Are you a bridge or an elevator? / Girl: Drawbridge.
/ Mustache Guy: Suddenly I've robbed a bank. / Girl: Shouldn't you... um... run away?
/ Mustache Guy: I don't know which bank I robbed. I might run toward it. / Girl: Well, there are no banks in the sky.
/ Mustache Guy: Yeah, but gravity. / Girl: So? You've already broken one law.
/ Mustache Guy: Good point. / Mustache Guy (walking into the sky): Thanks for the help. Say things to your aunt. / Girl (to New Guyr): Hey-- / [[Newguy vomits up a koala bear]] < http://mountaincomics.com/2010/07/08/almonds/ |
| Psychic Laundry | Guy: O giant two-mouthed dog, grant us your wisest insight. / 2-mouthed Dog: "Us"?
/ Guy: I meant "yourself". Wait -- "him"? / 2-mouthed Dog: Sounds like you've been bitten by the Pronoun Confusion Satyr. / Guy: No, the only thing that's bitten me lately is Lily Tomlin. / 2-mouthed Dog: Classic Pronoun Confusion Satyr trick. / [[Turns out that all of the above was a story being read by a man to a kid]]
/ Kid: Wait a minute -- this isn't Walden! / Kid: Henry David Thoreau died in 1862. / Kid: Lily Tomlin wasn't born until 1939! / [[The man removes his glasses.]] / [[The kid recoils in shock at the sight of the man's face]] / [[Because the man's face is a pig and an iron having a sword fight.]] http://mountaincomics.com/2010/07/12/psychic-laundry/ |
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