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| Kelly Lynch | Guy: Ah, there's my carry-on bag. / Guy: Hey, what are you doing here?
/ Onion: The scent of carry-on attracts scavenger birds. / Guy: You're thinking of carrion.
/ Onion: Pronouncing it funny doesn't make it a different thing, you know. / [A quiche with a sword on a horse]
/ CON-QUICHE-ADOR / Guy:... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/07/14/kelly-lynch/ |
| Laurence Luckinbill | Dude: 3 days in a row, fortune cookies have told me that my wireless connection would be spotty and work would be boring. / Dude: And 3 days in a row, they were right!
/ Chick: Paperweights are more interesting than you. / REINDEER DRIVE-BY!
/ RAT-A-TAT / Dude: OH MY GOD! DO THEY EVER MISS? / Fortune... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/07/16/laurence-luckinbill/ |
| Lisa Banes | Guy 1: Hey, do you think I should push this big red button?
/ Chick: Seems risky.
/ Guy 2: Yeah, it could be dangerous. / Guy 1: What does Soup-of-the-day Steve say?
/ Soup-of-the-day Steve: French onion. / Narrator: N'est pas ce ce qu'il a voulu dire quand il a dit "french onion." / Guy 1: What's the... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/07/20/lisa-banes/ |
| Elisabeth Shue | [[A bowling ball travels down the lane]] / [[The ball strikes the pins]] / [[The guy who rolled the ball turns to high-five his friend]] / [[As they high-five, a zombie approaches the roller from behind]] / [[The zombie takes a bite out of the roller's head]] / [[The roller lies in a pool of blood,... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/07/21/elisabeth-shue/ |
| Bryan Brown | Guy 1: Hey, Mr. Potato, I'm going to slice you up into sticks and boil them in oil. / Guy 2: Talking to tubers again?
/ Guy 1: Yeah, I'm hoping to get a radio show. / Radio: You're listening to Tuber Talk. All tubers, all afternoon. / Potato DJ: Our next caller is Cal.
/ DJ: Go ahead, Cal, you're on... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/07/23/bryan-brown/ |
| Tom Cruise | [[On Paul Island, the island on which everyone is named Paul]] / Paul 1: Dude, Paul just got eaten by a shark!
/ Paul 2: Which one? / Paul 1: That great white over there.
/ Paul 2: No, I meant which Paul? / Paul 1: The one with the dark anchorman hair.
/ Paul 2: Let us honor his life. / Title Card:... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/07/27/tom-cruise/ |
| Shark Sandwich | EGYPT c. 2560 BCE / Pharaoh (looking at a small pyramid): I'm thinking bigger. Can we go bigger? / EGYPT c. 2559 BCE / Pharaoh (looking at a huge pyramid): I see that you're not a man of nuance. / Pharaoh: How the hell did you build this in one year? / INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSE COMICS
/ A Mountain Time... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/07/28/shark-sandwich/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/31/witchcraft-for-skiers/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/31/witchcraft-for-skiers/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Youth And Archery | Knight (without armor on): Hey horsey, you like those oats? Yeah, dot matrix printers don't eat oats. / Knight (without armor on): My helmet and sword have been on the grill for 15 minutes, and it doesn't smell like a luau. / Knight (armored up): Alright! I'm a friggin' knight! / < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/01/youth-and-archery/ |
| The Farmer of Nunzio | Condor 1: Mmm... such yummy carrion, my dear!
/ Condor 2: "In love, as in gluttony, pleasure is a matter of the utmost precision."
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/03/the-farmer-of-nunzio/ |
| This Is Pretty Much How Every Philip Dick Story Goes | [[On rolling plains]]
/ Guy 1: If 30 is the new 20, then the 4-way should be the new 3-way.
/ Guy 2: How's that, now? / [[On some moonscape with purple craters]]
/ Guy 1: Our economic situation is so bunged up that it's nearly impossible to live at all comfortably, at least until our young adulthoods are... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/08/this-is-pretty-much-how-every-philip-dick-story-goes/ |
| Lake Nasser? I barely knew ‘er! | Sign: NO SWIMMING IN SHOVEL LAKE / Guy: Aw man, why'd they even put a shovel lake here if you can't swim in it?
/ Guy 2: I hardly think anyone "put" a lake here. / Anthropogenic-Landscape-Enthusiast Stegosaur: Actually, man has been making lakes for at least 5000 years! / Anthropogenic-Landscape-Enthusiast... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/15/lake-nasser-i-barely-knew-er/ |
| Dr. Doom Is In The Room | Snake: I ate 5 sandwiches last night.
/ Guy: Mmm... 5 sandwiches... / [[He imagines:]]
/ Guy: This 5 is so good it could be 6! / Guy: And if it were a 6 sandwich, I could turn it around and have a 9 sandwich! / Guy: But a certain stupid grocer never has any 6 for sale.
/ Sheep: Look, it's very hard to... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/17/dr-doom-is-in-the-room/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/21/unwahrheit/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/21/unwahrheit/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/24/koyaanisqatsi/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/24/koyaanisqatsi/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Booster Seat | [[Guy 1 is on the ground, bloody and wheezing]]
/ Guy 2: Look, I meant to say "nice hat," but what came out was "tanks should run over you." / Guy 2: And I really didn't expect the military to show up and do things I accidentally said.
/ Tank Guy: No problem, chief! / Guy 2: I'm not your chief!
/ Tank... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/29/booster-seat/ |
| Jupiter Towtruck | Chick: My life is an open book. / Chick: Specifically, it's Webster's Third New International Dictionary, Unabridged. / Chick: No one's ever going to look at more than a few words, and most people will just go straight to fuck. / Chick: Then there's a lot of weird medical stuff and a bunch of other... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/01/jupiter-towtruck/ |
| Ex Lion Tamer | Scientist: I've invented the automobile of the future! / Scientist: It runs on hollandaise and emits only shine-enhancing shampoo!
/ Dude: Talk about clean energy! / Later
/ Hat dude: Wow, your fur looks great!
/ Huge rat: Yeah, the sewers are full of street-runoff shampoo. / [[Hat guy looks ponderously... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/07/ex-lion-tamer/ |
| Three Girl Rhumba | AGORAPHOBIC HAMSTER GETS WHISKED AWAY / < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/08/three-girl-rhumba/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/12/thats-not-even-a-synonym-for-shallow/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/12/thats-not-even-a-synonym-for-shallow/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| This Ones For The Floor | Knight: Ok, this time there's no way I'm letting that cowboy mess things up. / < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/15/this-ones-for-the-floor/ |
| Ideal For Individuals Or Small Groups | Guy: Uh-oh. Asthma's coming on. / [[Guy hits his inhaler]] / Guy: Ow! What the hell?
/ Old Man: You've been bitten by / VLAD the INHALER / Guy: I feel a change coming over me.
/ Domino: Get back in the bottle, old man.
/ Old man: Nooo! / Guy (beginning to become a fish-man, or maybe a tadpole-man):... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/22/ideal-for-individuals-or-small-groups/ |
| Cheesecake Bang Bang Chicken Avocado Woo Key Lime Pie | [[3 men stand somewhere, one with a cloud on his head, one with a large mustache, one with glasses]]
/ Man w/ Glasses: Man, I love burritos. If I had a country, burritos would be the national bird. / [[A monster appears]]
/ Monster: Yum.
/ All 3 men: AUGH!! / Girl: Do souls have souls?
/ Advertisement:... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/26/cheesecake-bang-bang-chicken-avocado-woo-key-lime-pie/ |
| Blanqueador Sin Cloro | Dude: Schrodinger's cat: the cat in this box is both alive and dead. / Dude: Yet when we open the box, it is simply one or the other.
/ [[DEAD CAT]] / Dude: Schrodinger's Stan: this guy's name both is and is not Stan. He has a Venn diagram about it. / [[The Venn diagram has sections labeled "Guys named... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/27/blanqueador-sin-cloro/ |
| Talking Time | Agoraphobic Hamster: There's a skeleton monster at the end of this comic! / Ghost Costume & Werewolf Costume (in unison): Trick or treat!
/ Old guy: You kids are too young to be soliciting prostitution. / Werewolf Costume: Geez, third time tonight. / Old Guy: Finally! Back to Matlock. / < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/29/talking-time/ |
| Rainy Melody | [[Comic opens to a Sheep selling wares from his wagon.]]
/ Sheep: This is a hell of a lot of wallpaper.
/ Dude: I'm covering the entire Great Wall of China. / [[Dave comes in]]
/ Sheep: Shouldn't you be in China to do that?
/ Dude: Sorry -- I didn't realize you were the Great Wall police. / Dude: Hey Dave,... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/11/02/rainy-melody/ |
| Weaponry Listens To This, Too | Scientist (narrating): ...then we make a giant belt. / Scientist (narrating): One end goes around the moon. The other end goes around Earth. / Scientist: This will probably kill everybody somehow, but if it doesn't, / Scientist (narrating): the rotation of the two bodies will synchronize, / Scientist:... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/11/03/weaponry-listens-to-this-too/ |
| Yakiniku Steak And Shrimp Tempura | [[Three Pete and Paul are discussing Paul's anatidaephobia]]
/ Three Pete: What's up, Paul?
/ Paul: I've developed anatidaephobia. / [[Pete begins to float away]]
/ Pete: The fear that a duck is watching you?
/ Paul: Yep. / [[Enter Adios Taco]]
/ Pete: Maybe you're misinterpreting your hope that ducks are... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/11/05/yakiniku-steak-and-shrimp-tempura/ |
| Biting The Wheel | Bear-like Thing: Do I have to pee?
/ Dude: Look, man, I have my own problems. For instance: / Dude: I'm stuck on some kind of gravitational anomaly.
/ Raccoon: Me too. / Bear-like Thing: Wow.
/ Dude: Yeah, it's a big raccoon. / [[A chef is on the phone.]]
/ Operator: You have a collect call from:
/ Caller:... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/11/09/biting-the-wheel/ |
| The Night Sentry | [[One character (Digger) is digging a hole; the other (Layer) is laying rocks in a line.]] / Digger: Stuff doesn't taste as good after it's been frozen, right?
/ Layer: Right. / Digger: SO if we build a time machine, travel back to the Big Bang and grab a bunch of hydrogen and oxygen, we can bottle... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/11/10/the-night-sentry/ |
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