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|Kelly Lynch||Guy: Ah, there's my carry-on bag. / Guy: Hey, what are you doing here? / Onion: The scent of carry-on attracts scavenger birds. / Guy: You're thinking of carrion. / Onion: Pronouncing it funny doesn't make it a different thing, you know. / [A quiche with a sword on a horse] / CON-QUICHE-ADOR / Guy:...|
|Laurence Luckinbill||Dude: 3 days in a row, fortune cookies have told me that my wireless connection would be spotty and work would be boring. / Dude: And 3 days in a row, they were right! / Chick: Paperweights are more interesting than you. / REINDEER DRIVE-BY! / RAT-A-TAT / Dude: OH MY GOD! DO THEY EVER MISS? / Fortune...|
|Lisa Banes||Guy 1: Hey, do you think I should push this big red button? / Chick: Seems risky. / Guy 2: Yeah, it could be dangerous. / Guy 1: What does Soup-of-the-day Steve say? / Soup-of-the-day Steve: French onion. / Narrator: N'est pas ce ce qu'il a voulu dire quand il a dit "french onion." / Guy 1: What's the...|
|Elisabeth Shue||[[A bowling ball travels down the lane]] / [[The ball strikes the pins]] / [[The guy who rolled the ball turns to high-five his friend]] / [[As they high-five, a zombie approaches the roller from behind]] / [[The zombie takes a bite out of the roller's head]] / [[The roller lies in a pool of blood,...|
|Bryan Brown||Guy 1: Hey, Mr. Potato, I'm going to slice you up into sticks and boil them in oil. / Guy 2: Talking to tubers again? / Guy 1: Yeah, I'm hoping to get a radio show. / Radio: You're listening to Tuber Talk. All tubers, all afternoon. / Potato DJ: Our next caller is Cal. / DJ: Go ahead, Cal, you're on...|
|Tom Cruise||[[On Paul Island, the island on which everyone is named Paul]] / Paul 1: Dude, Paul just got eaten by a shark! / Paul 2: Which one? / Paul 1: That great white over there. / Paul 2: No, I meant which Paul? / Paul 1: The one with the dark anchorman hair. / Paul 2: Let us honor his life. / Title Card:...|
|Shark Sandwich||EGYPT c. 2560 BCE / Pharaoh (looking at a small pyramid): I'm thinking bigger. Can we go bigger? / EGYPT c. 2559 BCE / Pharaoh (looking at a huge pyramid): I see that you're not a man of nuance. / Pharaoh: How the hell did you build this in one year? / INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSE COMICS / A Mountain Time...|
|a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/31/witchcraft-for-skiers/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/31/witchcraft-for-skiers/||[untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]|
|Youth And Archery||Knight (without armor on): Hey horsey, you like those oats? Yeah, dot matrix printers don't eat oats. / Knight (without armor on): My helmet and sword have been on the grill for 15 minutes, and it doesn't smell like a luau. / Knight (armored up): Alright! I'm a friggin' knight! / <
|The Farmer of Nunzio||Condor 1: Mmm... such yummy carrion, my dear!
/ Condor 2: "In love, as in gluttony, pleasure is a matter of the utmost precision."
|This Is Pretty Much How Every Philip Dick Story Goes||[[On rolling plains]] / Guy 1: If 30 is the new 20, then the 4-way should be the new 3-way. / Guy 2: How's that, now? / [[On some moonscape with purple craters]] / Guy 1: Our economic situation is so bunged up that it's nearly impossible to live at all comfortably, at least until our young adulthoods are...|
|Lake Nasser? I barely knew ‘er!||Sign: NO SWIMMING IN SHOVEL LAKE / Guy: Aw man, why'd they even put a shovel lake here if you can't swim in it? / Guy 2: I hardly think anyone "put" a lake here. / Anthropogenic-Landscape-Enthusiast Stegosaur: Actually, man has been making lakes for at least 5000 years! / Anthropogenic-Landscape-Enthusiast...|
|Dr. Doom Is In The Room||Snake: I ate 5 sandwiches last night. / Guy: Mmm... 5 sandwiches... / [[He imagines:]] / Guy: This 5 is so good it could be 6! / Guy: And if it were a 6 sandwich, I could turn it around and have a 9 sandwich! / Guy: But a certain stupid grocer never has any 6 for sale. / Sheep: Look, it's very hard to...|
|a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/21/unwahrheit/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/21/unwahrheit/||[untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]|
|a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/24/koyaanisqatsi/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/09/24/koyaanisqatsi/||[untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]|
|Booster Seat||[[Guy 1 is on the ground, bloody and wheezing]] / Guy 2: Look, I meant to say "nice hat," but what came out was "tanks should run over you." / Guy 2: And I really didn't expect the military to show up and do things I accidentally said. / Tank Guy: No problem, chief! / Guy 2: I'm not your chief! / Tank...|
|Jupiter Towtruck||Chick: My life is an open book. / Chick: Specifically, it's Webster's Third New International Dictionary, Unabridged. / Chick: No one's ever going to look at more than a few words, and most people will just go straight to fuck. / Chick: Then there's a lot of weird medical stuff and a bunch of other...|
|Ex Lion Tamer||Scientist: I've invented the automobile of the future! / Scientist: It runs on hollandaise and emits only shine-enhancing shampoo! / Dude: Talk about clean energy! / Later / Hat dude: Wow, your fur looks great! / Huge rat: Yeah, the sewers are full of street-runoff shampoo. / [[Hat guy looks ponderously...|
|Three Girl Rhumba||AGORAPHOBIC HAMSTER GETS WHISKED AWAY / <
|a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/12/thats-not-even-a-synonym-for-shallow/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/10/12/thats-not-even-a-synonym-for-shallow/||[untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]|
|This Ones For The Floor||Knight: Ok, this time there's no way I'm letting that cowboy mess things up. / <
|Ideal For Individuals Or Small Groups||Guy: Uh-oh. Asthma's coming on. / [[Guy hits his inhaler]] / Guy: Ow! What the hell? / Old Man: You've been bitten by / VLAD the INHALER / Guy: I feel a change coming over me. / Domino: Get back in the bottle, old man. / Old man: Nooo! / Guy (beginning to become a fish-man, or maybe a tadpole-man):...|
|Cheesecake Bang Bang Chicken Avocado Woo Key Lime Pie||[[3 men stand somewhere, one with a cloud on his head, one with a large mustache, one with glasses]] / Man w/ Glasses: Man, I love burritos. If I had a country, burritos would be the national bird. / [[A monster appears]] / Monster: Yum. / All 3 men: AUGH!! / Girl: Do souls have souls? / Advertisement:...|
|Blanqueador Sin Cloro||Dude: Schrodinger's cat: the cat in this box is both alive and dead. / Dude: Yet when we open the box, it is simply one or the other. / [[DEAD CAT]] / Dude: Schrodinger's Stan: this guy's name both is and is not Stan. He has a Venn diagram about it. / [[The Venn diagram has sections labeled "Guys named...|
|Talking Time||Agoraphobic Hamster: There's a skeleton monster at the end of this comic! / Ghost Costume & Werewolf Costume (in unison): Trick or treat!
/ Old guy: You kids are too young to be soliciting prostitution. / Werewolf Costume: Geez, third time tonight. / Old Guy: Finally! Back to Matlock. / <
|Rainy Melody||[[Comic opens to a Sheep selling wares from his wagon.]] / Sheep: This is a hell of a lot of wallpaper. / Dude: I'm covering the entire Great Wall of China. / [[Dave comes in]] / Sheep: Shouldn't you be in China to do that? / Dude: Sorry -- I didn't realize you were the Great Wall police. / Dude: Hey Dave,...|
|Weaponry Listens To This, Too||Scientist (narrating): ...then we make a giant belt. / Scientist (narrating): One end goes around the moon. The other end goes around Earth. / Scientist: This will probably kill everybody somehow, but if it doesn't, / Scientist (narrating): the rotation of the two bodies will synchronize, / Scientist:...|
|Yakiniku Steak And Shrimp Tempura||[[Three Pete and Paul are discussing Paul's anatidaephobia]] / Three Pete: What's up, Paul? / Paul: I've developed anatidaephobia. / [[Pete begins to float away]] / Pete: The fear that a duck is watching you? / Paul: Yep. / [[Enter Adios Taco]] / Pete: Maybe you're misinterpreting your hope that ducks are...|
|Biting The Wheel||Bear-like Thing: Do I have to pee? / Dude: Look, man, I have my own problems. For instance: / Dude: I'm stuck on some kind of gravitational anomaly. / Raccoon: Me too. / Bear-like Thing: Wow. / Dude: Yeah, it's a big raccoon. / [[A chef is on the phone.]] / Operator: You have a collect call from: / Caller:...|
|The Night Sentry||[[One character (Digger) is digging a hole; the other (Layer) is laying rocks in a line.]] / Digger: Stuff doesn't taste as good after it's been frozen, right? / Layer: Right. / Digger: SO if we build a time machine, travel back to the Big Bang and grab a bunch of hydrogen and oxygen, we can bottle...|
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