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| Refractions Tulip | Reg: Aw man, what's all over my ice cream? / Reg: Wizards?
/ [[His ice cream is covered in wizards]] / Reg: I don't wanna lick wizards!
/ Dude: Well I don't want to wick lizards, but we need candles and there's no more wax. / [[A pod (with landing gears) descends]]
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2010/07/19/refractions/ |
| We Are The Future So You Dont Have To | Chimneyfoot: Gin and tonic, please.
/ Bartending Unicorn: You want Windex in that? / Chimneyfoot: Why do you always put Windex in drinks?
/ Bartending Unicorn: Windex and Booze go together like books and cheese. / Chimneyfoot: That doesn't make sense. You don't eat books. / Bartending Unicorn: Right,... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/07/22/we-are-the-future-so-you-dont-have-to/ |
| Scythia | Astronaut 1: Just think: nobody's ever been on this world before.
/ Someone Out of Panel: I have. / Astronaut 1: What?
/ Astronaut 2: How did you get here?
/ Baseball Guy: This is where you go if you collect every baseball card ever made. / Astronaut 2: But how? / Baseball Guy: Well... / Baseball Guy... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/08/05/scythia/ |
| Kaluka Maiava | [[Paul and Vern are about to battle]]
/ Paul: The forest is full of creatures!
/ Vern: The ocean isn't orange! / Onion: Your values are completely compatible! / Paul & Vern: He's right! / Later
/ Paul: You don't look so good, Vern. Are you getting sick?
/ Vern: I've been sick, with supporting group The... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/08/09/kaluka-maiava/ |
| The Unstartled Giraffe | Sweaty Guy: MAN, it's hot. / [[Sweaty Guy wipes his brow]]
/ Sweaty Guy: ? / Sweaty Guy: Oh no! My body's turning into water! / Sweaty Guy: ...Of course! The heat has removed all the moisture from the air, and my body is trying to create equilibrium. / Sweaty Guy: So be it. I'm a humidity martyr.... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/08/16/the-unstartled-giraffe/ |
| The Son Of M | Squirrel 2: I just realized that odd numbers can't exist -- they're logically absurd! / Squirrel 1 (shooting Squirrel 2): Security threat neutralized. / Sheep: Those radio ads are really paying off! These suede coffee mugs are selling like hotcakes! / Mr. Mustache: Why not just sell hotcakes in the... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/10/05/the-son-of-m/ |
| Autofac | Onion: "Vermont Avenue"
/ Hamster: Would you like to buy it? / Onion: What does it do?
/ Hamster: You can buy the stuff around it and develop it to make more money. / Onion: What do I use that money for?
/ Hamster: To buy more properties. / Onion: So I'm just making money in order to make more money? / Hamster:... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/10/07/autofac/ |
| The Letter | [[Panel 1 is a screenshot from a TV]]
/ I'd Lather Be Sailing
/ [[The S.S.Hampoo sails on]]
/ The hygiene show for boating enthusiasts /
/ TV: will not be shown today,
/ Guy: What?!
/ TV: so that we may bring you / [[Another screenshot]]
/ BERNARD the Elbow-fitting-spitting BEAR / Guy: How am I supposed... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/10/11/the-letter/ |
| Another The Letter | [[Dave is accosting a guy]]
/ Guy in Distress: Help! Surf Rat! / Surf Rat: I've got you now, Dave!
/ Dave (thinking): Hehehe / [[Dave teleports out of the way with a poof, and Surf Rat is about to surf over a Vat o' Shampoo]] / SPLASH 'N' LATHER! / Surf Rat triumphs again, cleaning up the streets atop... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/10/12/another-the-letter/ |
| Outdoor Miner | Shampoo: Why hello, sailor. / Guy: Not you, too! The BBQ sauce already came onto me.
/ Something: Almanac. / Guy: What was that?!
/ Shampoo: Sounded like a -- / Shampoo: yep, that's a gelatinous Portugal.
/ Gelatinous Portugal: Almanac. / -Known characteristics of the gelatinous Portugal-
/ -Gelatinous
/ -Portugal-shaped
/ -Seems... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/10/13/outdoor-miner/ |
| The Turkish Equivalent Of Kansas | Girl: Do you keep hearing loud shrieking noises?
/ Guy: No. / Girl: Neither do I.
/ Guy: I wonder if I could drink a building. / Banner flown by a plane piloted by what might be a tiny dinosaur: HAPPY THURSDAY DAY / THURSDAY DAY:
/ The Thursdayest of all holidays.
/ [[A graph shows that Thursday Day's... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/11/04/the-turkish-equivalent-of-kansas/ |
| Sledgehammer Of Truth | Astronaut 1: In TV shows, men and women (of roughly equal attractiveness) who don't get along usually end up having sexy times together. / Astronaut 1: So I figure I just need to get on the nerves of every woman I meet, and I'll be a regular Casanova! / Astronaut 2: You've been repeating that for an... http://mountaincomics.com/2010/12/16/sledgehammer-of-truth/ |
| Patience And A Steak Knife | Paul: I've always wanted to sit and soak in this tub of lard, / Paul: and I think now is a very auspicious time to do so! / < http://mountaincomics.com/2011/01/06/patience-and-a-steak-knife/ |
| No Coffee For The Champ | [[Knight 1 is on the ground, slain. Knight 2 is looking at him.]] / Knight 2 (thinking): I should go invent rounder circles. / Earlier
/ Knight 1: You dare challenge me? Prepare to be amazed! / Knight 1: On Gilligan's Island, they took a tour on the S.S. Minnow. You could say it was a "Minnow tour." / Knight... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/01/13/no-coffee-for-the-champ/ |
| I Don't Have A Headache With Cheese | Dude: What's on your face?
/ Chick 1: I brushed my teeth, but missed. / Dude: I was talking to HER.
/ Chick 2: I think it's a tiny hatch. / [[A closeup reveals that it is, in fact, a tiny hatch]] / Chick 1: Who's SHE? / Dude: Someone who needs a tiny submarine commander. Who're you?
/ Chick 1: Margarine... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/01/17/i-dont-have-a-headache-with-cheese/ |
| St. John's | [[An ice cream stand offers ice cream for $6]]
/ Dude: Psh. I didn't spend 4 years fighting in Iraq to have to pay $6 for ice cream!
/ Lady: You fought in Iraq? / Dude: No; like I just said: I DIDN'T spend 4 years fighting in Iraq. / Onion: Just FYI, that's not an ice cream stand. / Dude: Oh -- it's... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/02/17/st-johns/ |
| Regina | Kid: What should I have for breakfast? / Kid: Octo-Crisp?
/ [[The Octo-Crisp box boasts that "It's 8 kinds of crispy!"]] / Kid: Or Sucky Clusters?
/ [[The Sucky Clusters box boasts that it's "The cereal that changes color at will!"]] / Adios Taco: Hey kid, stop eating awful octopus cereal!
/ Kid: Adios... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/02/24/regina/ |
| Charlottetown | Astronaut 1: Look out behind you! It's a hideous black beast!
/ Astronaut 2: Where?! / Astronaut 2: Hey, that's not black! It's navy! / Boss: "23 years' microwave operation experience?"
/ Applicant: That's right. I've been cooking with microwaves all my life. / Boss: That's not something you see on... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/02/28/charlottetown/ |
| Victoria | Guy: Everybody loves really tall towers, but theirs tops are always up too far to see. / Guy: I have solved this problem! Behold: a 2000-foot tower / Guy: in a 1995-foot pit! / Snowman: Does the word "countertop" convey any meaning that isn't more succinctly conveyed by "counter"?
/ Opabinia: One of... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/03/03/victoria/ |
| Winnipeg | Snowman: I don't like the word "climbed" as the past tense of "climb." / Snowman: I propose a new word: "clomb."
/ Opabinia: Utter nonsense! / Snowman: Don't freak out about it -- there is a precedent! Dive --> dove; climb --> clomb. / Opabinia: MAN I hate that stupid snowman, with his made-up irregular... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/03/07/winnipeg/ |
| Fredericton | AGORAPHOBIC HAMSTER HAS A SITUATION / < http://mountaincomics.com/2011/03/10/fredericton/ |
| Halifax | Guy: ...and so it seems obvious that Thomas Jefferson was mostly being sarcastic. / [[Guy looks around a bit; nobody is there.]] / Guy: I should probably find someone to say that to. / [[Guy walks]] / Here you have to imagine like 15 more panels of the dude walking. / [[A hoplite blender does battle... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/03/14/halifax/ |
| Quebec City | 13.7 billion years ago, the universe said:
/ Universe (as a singularity): I hope you like your bangs BIG. / Some 80s chick I guess: Oh, I DO. / Mr. Pies: I received an envelope in the post today.
/ Mr. Glasses: In the "post today"? So you got it tomorrow? / Mr. Glasses: You can't do that. / Mr. Glasses:... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/03/17/quebec-city/ |
| Toronto | GRAPE + APPLE
/ ORANGE + TANGERINE
/ WHITE GRAPE / Guy: what are you doing?
/ Wizard: Carving my favorite juice into this doghouse. / Wizard: I am doing so with the aid of man's first invention: the knife. / Guy: Congratulations! You are now the mayor of WRONG CITY. / Not to be confused with Pong City.... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/03/21/toronto/ |
| Septimus I | IMPRESSIONIST CUSTODIAN
/ Impressionist Custodian (IC) (thinking): Oh great -- someone knocked the trash can over. / IC (thinking): This apple core is the same mix of yellow and brown as the sandy shore of lake Cyclopentasiloxane. / Paula and I made love so feverishly upon that shore. But then... / ...she... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/03/28/septimus-i/ |
| Septimus II | Impressionist Custodian (thinking): Only then, decades later, did I realize I'd been visited by a ghost. / Impressionist Custodian: Good coffee. What is it?
/ Lady: 10W-30. / Lady (thinking): His face reminds me of Patrick -- not that I like Patrick for his face... / Lady: Oh Patrick, you have the... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/04/11/septimus-ii/ |
| Septimus III | Wisconsin Lettuce Federation Guy (WLFG): Wisconsin is a violent, spiteful place.
/ Bartending Unicorn: Is that where you got that arrow? / WLFG: Yeah. Doctor said if I took it out there'd be a giant spider invasion. / [[Bartending Unicorn imagines a giant spider approaching a house. Soon, Windex falls... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/04/14/septimus-iii/ |
| Dave A Une Mauvaise Journ | Dave: Does this frighten you?
/ Lady: No; I am at ease because birds are partying in my yard. / Dave: Ah, but now you are floating away. Frightened?
/ Lady: Nope. Bird party. / Dave: You'll be dead soon, you know.
/ Lady: No biggie. / Mr. Survey: Hey Dave! I'm taking a survey. Would you mind rating your... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/05/02/ls-poetic-focus/ |
| Past Actions Of Crabs | Sunflower: Learning is for everyone.
/ Vigilante: Don't need to learn. Got a porpoise launcher. / < http://mountaincomics.com/2011/05/12/past-actions-of-crabs/ |
| Furniture Unity | Astronaut 1: When we say "menopause," what we really mean is "menostop," right?
/ Astronaut 2: I've actually never said "menopause." / Earlier
/ Astronaut 2: Menopause, menopause, meno meno menopause / Astronaut 1: I've written up a formal letter pushing the change to "menostop," but I don't know who... http://mountaincomics.com/2011/05/16/furniture-unity/ |
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