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Japan Disco Terror Guy: Hey, aren't you? / Mr. Football Pants: Yes, I am Mr. Football Pants, the greatest jar salesman in the galaxy. / Mr. Football Pants: I can make anyone want to buy a jar. I can even make them want to buy a door that's slightly open. / Guy: Well I don't feel like buying a jar. / Mr. Football Pants:...
Shorts Blaster Gangster: The jig is up, Thompson. / Thompson: Crap! There was supposed to be a jig? / In typical Thompson form, Thompson has failed to meet jig expectations. / Thompson: Guys, guys ? don't you think it's time we threw off the shackles of jig-based crime rings? / CRIME RING COLOR CHART / [[Blue]] You...
Hey, Have Some Catfish! Thialfi: Practicing for the Crouching Olympics, Thor? / Thor: Don't be silly! / Thor: You have to train from childhood to be an Olympic croucher! / Thor: I'm preparing to kill that green pygmy lemon. It has magical properties. / Thialfi: Such as being a lime? / Thor: Mainly. / Penguin 2: You're telling...
Last Igloo On The Moon [[A store sign reads: FURNITURY FURNITURE / The furnituriest furniture in town!]] / Dad: I'll trade you my kid for that couch. / Salesperson: Sir, that is ridiculous. / Salesperson: This couch seats 3 comfortably. That kid MAYBE seats 1. / Salesperson: Ergo, this couch is worth 3 kids. / Kid (thinking):...
Drugstore Cowgirl Mustache Guy: So the Great Wall of China can be seen from outer space. / Mustache Guy: I'm not impressed! I think it's time to build a GREATER wall -- / Mustache Guy: One that can be seen from EARTH! / Mr. Glasses: I'll start peeling some potatoes. / Mustache Guy: Skip the potatoes, man. We're building...
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2011/09/06/loneliest-igloo-on-the-moon/">http://mountaincomics.com/2011/09/06/loneliest-igloo-on-the-moon/ [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2012/01/26/not-actually-a-mountain-time-comic/">http://mountaincomics.com/2012/01/26/not-actually-a-mountain-time-comic/ [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2012/03/08/angry-red-filler/">http://mountaincomics.com/2012/03/08/angry-red-filler/ [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
The Hill Of Killers Guy: What the -- ? / Guy: I'm being bitten by a flea! / <> / Guy: I AM NOT A CHEESEBURGER TO BE EATEN AT YOUR LEISURE, FLEA! / Flea (thinking): AAAA! I'm being crushed by cheeseburgers! / [[Meanwhile in Heaven, angles of 95, 97, and 98 degrees are accounted for, but 96 is missing]] / Angel (thinking):...
Mountain Time 1 Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock. / Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock." / Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]] / Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave! / Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke. / Dave: The joke was on...
Mountain Time 1 Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock. / Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock." / Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]] / Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave! / Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke. / Dave: The joke was on...
Mountain Time 1 Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock. / Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock." / Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]] / Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave! / Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke. / Dave: The joke was on...
Mountain Time 1 Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock. / Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock." / Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]] / Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave! / Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke. / Dave: The joke was on...
Mountain Time 1 Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock. / Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock." / Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]] / Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave! / Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke. / Dave: The joke was on...
 
Mountain Time 2 [[Scoutmaster and his scouts come across a really big snake.]] / Really Big Snake: Look, I know I'm a really big snake, so can we skip past that part of the conversation? / Scoutmaster: Look, as a scoutmaster, I have to say that I'm a little anxious. / Child 2: A little? You already made us eat Joey so...
Mountain Time 3 [[Two Astronauts are standing together on an uncharted planet.]] / Astronaut 2: You know what I like best about exploring uncharted planets? You never have to worry about being eaten by hideous monsters. / Astronaut 1: Aw, man! Why'd you have to say that? / Astronaut 2: What? / Astronaut 1: It's a total...
Mountain Time 4 [[The comic opens with a robot and his creator/battery giver.]] / Creator: My creation, I have given you life! ...Well, not exactly life, but batteries. / Robot: I want to explore the cosmos. / Creator: Actually, you were designed for mining operations. Let me get you some equipment. / Robot: Ok, then...
Mountain Time 5 [[The Chosen One finds a sword on the ground]] / TCO: Hey, there's a sword on the ground. / [[Turns out it's a talking sword]] / Blade of Torthos: I AM NO MERE SWORD. I AM THE BLADE OF TORTHOS. WHOEVER WIELDS ME WILL BE IMMUNE TO DEATH IN BATTLE. / TCO: No thanks. I don't really battle anybody very often....
Mountain Time 6 {{1}} / [[This comic is set up in a CYOA book style, so it will be a tad confusing unless you actually read the comic.]] / [[A man goes to see a mystic]] / {{1}} / Man: Great Mystic, tell my how my life will end. / {{2}} / Mystic: Your life will end with you dying. / Man: Yikes. / {{3}} / Panel: For an existential...
 
Mountain Time 7 [[Agoraphobic Hamster Time!]] / Agoraphobic Hamster (Thinking): oh why oh why oh why did I decide to go to the fair today? / Panel: TODAY: AGORAPHOBIC HAMSTER GOES TO THE FAIR but first... / [[The Astronauts are planting a blank flag on a planet's surface]] / Astronaut 1: I can't believe our government...
Mountain Time 8 [[A ghost appears to scare a generic dude]] / Ghost: Boo. / GD: Woah! Are you a ghost? Wow! ... You know, I'd always thought this would be scarier. / Ghost: Yeah, my heart's just not in it anymore. / GD: Why not? / Ghost: Well, I realized that I could never get a pay increase, since ghosts don't get paid. / GD:...
Mountain Time 9 [[Guy meets Man-Fly]] / Guy: Experiment gone awry? / Man-Fly: Nah. I broke the Prom Promise. / Guy: They turned you into a fly for drinking on prom night?! / Man-Fly: It was either this or writing an essay. / Guy: I think you seriously need to reevaluate your decision-making process. / Man-Fly: But-- / [[Scene...
Five Part Special Part 1 Freaked-Out-Woman: It's... coming... / Freaked-Out-Balding-Man: It's... coming... / [[An ellipsis falls on a man]] / Panel: ...IT'S HERE. / <> / [[Apocallipsis movie poster]] / Panel: APOCALLIPSIS ... In theaters now... ... [R] / [[The protagonist of the five part special is watching the TV...
Five Part Special Part 2 [[Protagonist/Chair is watching TV]] / Protagonist: Ah, a nature documentary. Maybe this will help chill me out about becoming a chair. / TV: Soaring high above the desert, the graceful California Condor may travel as far as 150-- / [[Onion comes in and stabs the TV]] / Protagonist (Thinking): Wow, being...
 
Five Part Special Part 3 [[It's part three of the five part special! Protagonist tries to get his body back.]] / Protagonist: Hey you! I need my body back! / [[Enter onion]] / Onion: He has the mind of a chair. You're not going to get through to him. / Protagonist: Hey buddy, I'm a chair. / [[Protagonist dreams about being a...
Five Part Special Part 4 JESUS: THE SON OF GOD / KILLED BY ADDITION / REVIVED BY DIVINITY / WHAT, ME DIE? / COFOUNDER OF THE BYZANTINE EMPIRE / ALONG WITH CONSTANTINE / Constantine: Rome shall be a Christian state! / WHO WAS BEGAT BY INTERMITTENTINE / Intermittentine: Rome... be... state! / JESUS WAS THEN FORGOTTEN FOR 90,000...
Five Part Special Part 5 Ray: I finally saw Apocallipsis, but I still don't feel complete. / Ray: And suddenly I'm in a desert. / Cowboy: Howdy. / Ray: Who are you? / Cowboy: I reckon this'ere's what yer lookin' for. / Ray: Uh... / Cowboy: It's a Slow-Action Soul Vacuum. Just keep it in yer pocket and it'll slowly suck out yer...
Archipelago's Euphony Condor: Please spare me! / Onion: Ok -- on the condition that you name an English word more pleasant-sounding than archipelago. / Condor: Uh... phlegm? / Cowboy: Before we watch the onion kill the condor, let's talk about Greenland. / Greenland is a very large country with fewer than 60,000 residents. / It...
Archipelago's Euphony Part 2 CONTINUED / Eskimo: How may I serve you now, Lord Tubliah? / Greg: Greg. / Eskimo: How may I serve you now, Greg? / Greg: I dunno... some GENETICS EXPERTS, maybe? I'm covered in FRIGGIN' AIRPLANES over here! / Eskimo: How about some more Vikings? Those were pretty easy to get. / Meanwhile, inside the Eskimo...
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/03/archipelagos-euphony-part-3/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/03/archipelagos-euphony-part-3/ [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/04/archipelagos-euphony-part-4/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/04/archipelagos-euphony-part-4/ [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/03/five-part-special-part-6/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/03/five-part-special-part-6/ [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/04/five-part-special-part-7/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/04/five-part-special-part-7/ [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/05/five-part-special-part-8/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/05/five-part-special-part-8/ [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 

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