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| Japan Disco Terror | Guy: Hey, aren't you?
/ Mr. Football Pants: Yes, I am Mr. Football Pants, the greatest jar salesman in the galaxy. / Mr. Football Pants: I can make anyone want to buy a jar. I can even make them want to buy a door that's slightly open. / Guy: Well I don't feel like buying a jar. / Mr. Football Pants: Not even this one? It's all the beans above your eels, and then some! / Guy: That's 70% more beans above my eels than I'm used to! / Guy: I'll take it!
/ Mr. Football Pants: Sorry. I already sold it to that guy over there with the Iroquois Constitution for a torso. / Torso Guy: It's the MAGNA CARTA! It's a much more obvious legal document to guess! / Mr. Football Pants: You don't become the greatest jar salesman in the galaxy by making obvious legal document guesses.
/ Guy: Stop walking off the planet and sell me a damn jar!
/ Mr. Football Pants: Sorry, pal. / Guy: Ok, Paperboy, what do you want for the jar?
/ Torso Guy: My name is Johnny. / Guy (thinking): I wonder if he bleeds when you stab him in the chest.
/ Johnny (thinking): "Black Velvet" is the best song about dark fabric becoming a religion. http://mountaincomics.com/2011/05/23/japan-disco-terror/ |
| Shorts Blaster | Gangster: The jig is up, Thompson.
/ Thompson: Crap! There was supposed to be a jig? / In typical Thompson form, Thompson has failed to meet jig expectations. / Thompson: Guys, guys ? don't you think it's time we threw off the shackles of jig-based crime rings? / CRIME RING COLOR CHART
/ [[Blue]] You are committing a crime
/ [[Red]] You are not committing a crime / Chick: My crime ring says I'm committing a crime, but I've checked all the statutes and I can't find a law I'm breaking. / Call Center Guy: Do you mind checking your laundry hamper for me? / Chick: Huh. It's full of lizards. / Call Center Guy: Thought so. The crime ring interprets that as a crime. / Call Center Guy: It's a design flaw, but hey,
/ Call Center Guy & Chick in unison: free lizard detector, right? / Call Center Guy (thinking): Uh-oh. My mouth is possessed. / Call Center Guy (thinking): I guess the River of Lost Souls is a bad place for a call center after all. / Gangster: The jig is up, Pelican Cello.
/ Pelican Cello: That was a waltz. http://mountaincomics.com/2011/05/30/shorts-blaster/ |
| Hey, Have Some Catfish! | Thialfi: Practicing for the Crouching Olympics, Thor?
/ Thor: Don't be silly! / Thor: You have to train from childhood to be an Olympic croucher! / Thor: I'm preparing to kill that green pygmy lemon. It has magical properties. / Thialfi: Such as being a lime?
/ Thor: Mainly. / Penguin 2: You're telling this story all wrong. For one thing, Thialfi isn't a huge ethereal spoon. / ????: LOOK OUT!
/ Penguin 1: Is that??
/ Penguin 2: It is! It's / ZERO FRICTION GIRL!
/ Zero Friction Girl: AAAA! / Zero Friction Girl: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! / Zero Friction Girl: AAA SERIOUSLY! / Condor (thinking): Did house mice exist before permanent dwellings? / [[Zero Friction Girl lands on the Condor]]
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2011/06/02/hey-have-some-catfish/ |
| Last Igloo On The Moon | [[A store sign reads: FURNITURY FURNITURE
/ The furnituriest furniture in town!]] / Dad: I'll trade you my kid for that couch.
/ Salesperson: Sir, that is ridiculous. / Salesperson: This couch seats 3 comfortably. That kid MAYBE seats 1. / Salesperson: Ergo, this couch is worth 3 kids. / Kid (thinking): Here I am, just 10 years old, and already I'm worth a third of a couch! / 17 years later
/ [[Giant rabbit-head-shaped aircraft are destroying a city.]] / Command Chief Master Sergeant: We've got one shot to destroy the rabbit mothership. I need the best man you've got. / First Sergeant: That'd be Paulson, sir. He's been traded for some of the best furniture in the world. / Paulson (thinking): This should bump me up a divan or 2. / < http://mountaincomics.com/2011/06/13/last-igloo-on-the-moon/ |
| Drugstore Cowgirl | Mustache Guy: So the Great Wall of China can be seen from outer space. / Mustache Guy: I'm not impressed! I think it's time to build a GREATER wall -- / Mustache Guy: One that can be seen from EARTH!
/ Mr. Glasses: I'll start peeling some potatoes. / Mustache Guy: Skip the potatoes, man. We're building this wall out of tennis balls.
/ Tennis Ball Faerie: You mean stone.
/ Mustache Guy: I mean stone. / Tennis Ball Faerie: I'll never let them take you! / ???: Oh Tennis Ball Faerie?
/ Tennis Ball Faerie: Yes? / Submarine Knight: The Submarine King demands tribute.
/ Tennis Ball Faerie: The Submarine King has no dominion over the Inclined Plains! / Submarine Knight: For real?
/ Tennis Ball Faerie: Yeah, probably. / Later
/ Submarine Knight: My liege, it turns out that --
/ Submarine King: Silence! I am trying to concentrate! / Submarine King (thinking): Spanish rice... sushi rice... sticky rice... / Submarine King: I have decided! We shall build a GREATER pyramid than the one at Giza! / And so
/ Submarines win. http://mountaincomics.com/2011/06/27/drugstore-cowgirl/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2011/09/06/loneliest-igloo-on-the-moon/">http://mountaincomics.com/2011/09/06/loneliest-igloo-on-the-moon/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2012/01/26/not-actually-a-mountain-time-comic/">http://mountaincomics.com/2012/01/26/not-actually-a-mountain-time-comic/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2012/03/08/angry-red-filler/">http://mountaincomics.com/2012/03/08/angry-red-filler/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| The Hill Of Killers | Guy: What the -- ? / Guy: I'm being bitten by a flea! / < http://mountaincomics.com/2012/08/20/the-hill-of-killers/ |
| Antarctica and How It Feels | Lady: Is something wrong, Paul?
/ Paul: Nah. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. / Paul: The inside, to be specific.
/ Paul (in the bed): mmf! / Lady: How did you get out?
/ Paul: Thankfully, I had my Swiss Army knife... / Paul: ...so I used its corkscrew to open the bottle of wine I always sleep with. / Paul: The sound of it woke the wino who lives in my closet. / Paul: He called the fire department, who came and set several controlled burns. / Paul: Then it went bass solo, chorus, outro, and then a couple Black Flag covers.
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2013/06/06/antarctica-and-how-it-feels/ |
| Mountain Time 1 | Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock.
/ Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock."
/ Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]]
/ Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave!
/ Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke.
/ Dave: The joke was on your mind.
/ Guy: I'm hungry. / ONIONS: These seemingly innocuous tearjerkers have a secret: / They were put on Earth to kill condors! / Guy: You wanna stop being multiplicitous and help me make some lunch?
/ 5 Daves: I'll just have some pasta salad, please. / Guy: You expect ME to make it for you? There're FIVE of you -- I think you can manage to make your own pasta salad!
/ 5 Daves: I'm making pasta salad out of your mind. / Surf Rat: Two can play at this game, Dave. Now I've become Surf Rat!
/ Dave: That's not the game I was playing at all! / Neither was DIG DUG / Surf Rat triumphs again, riding the Wave of Freedom wherever he goes! / [[Dave drowns]]
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/09/mountain-time-1/ |
| Mountain Time 1 | Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock.
/ Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock."
/ Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]]
/ Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave!
/ Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke.
/ Dave: The joke was on your mind.
/ Guy: I'm hungry. / ONIONS: These seemingly innocuous tearjerkers have a secret: / They were put on Earth to kill condors! / Guy: You wanna stop being multiplicitous and help me make some lunch?
/ 5 Daves: I'll just have some pasta salad, please. / Guy: You expect ME to make it for you? There're FIVE of you -- I think you can manage to make your own pasta salad!
/ 5 Daves: I'm making pasta salad out of your mind. / Surf Rat: Two can play at this game, Dave. Now I've become Surf Rat!
/ Dave: That's not the game I was playing at all! / Neither was DIG DUG / Surf Rat triumphs again, riding the Wave of Freedom wherever he goes! / [[Dave drowns]]
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/09/mountain-time-1/ |
| Mountain Time 1 | Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock.
/ Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock."
/ Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]]
/ Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave!
/ Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke.
/ Dave: The joke was on your mind.
/ Guy: I'm hungry. / ONIONS: These seemingly innocuous tearjerkers have a secret: / They were put on Earth to kill condors! / Guy: You wanna stop being multiplicitous and help me make some lunch?
/ 5 Daves: I'll just have some pasta salad, please. / Guy: You expect ME to make it for you? There're FIVE of you -- I think you can manage to make your own pasta salad!
/ 5 Daves: I'm making pasta salad out of your mind. / Surf Rat: Two can play at this game, Dave. Now I've become Surf Rat!
/ Dave: That's not the game I was playing at all! / Neither was DIG DUG / Surf Rat triumphs again, riding the Wave of Freedom wherever he goes! / [[Dave drowns]]
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/09/mountain-time-1/ |
| Mountain Time 1 | Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock.
/ Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock."
/ Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]]
/ Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave!
/ Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke.
/ Dave: The joke was on your mind.
/ Guy: I'm hungry. / ONIONS: These seemingly innocuous tearjerkers have a secret: / They were put on Earth to kill condors! / Guy: You wanna stop being multiplicitous and help me make some lunch?
/ 5 Daves: I'll just have some pasta salad, please. / Guy: You expect ME to make it for you? There're FIVE of you -- I think you can manage to make your own pasta salad!
/ 5 Daves: I'm making pasta salad out of your mind. / Surf Rat: Two can play at this game, Dave. Now I've become Surf Rat!
/ Dave: That's not the game I was playing at all! / Neither was DIG DUG / Surf Rat triumphs again, riding the Wave of Freedom wherever he goes! / [[Dave drowns]]
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/09/mountain-time-1/ |
| Mountain Time 1 | Dave: Hey, I've got a joke: Knock knock.
/ Guy: Hold on, Dave. I think someone's at the door. / Dave: No, that was just me saying "knock knock."
/ Guy: Hang on! I'm coming! / [[At the door]]
/ Dave: Hey, it's me -- Dave!
/ Guy: Huh? I thought you were over there telling me a joke.
/ Dave: The joke was on your mind.
/ Guy: I'm hungry. / ONIONS: These seemingly innocuous tearjerkers have a secret: / They were put on Earth to kill condors! / Guy: You wanna stop being multiplicitous and help me make some lunch?
/ 5 Daves: I'll just have some pasta salad, please. / Guy: You expect ME to make it for you? There're FIVE of you -- I think you can manage to make your own pasta salad!
/ 5 Daves: I'm making pasta salad out of your mind. / Surf Rat: Two can play at this game, Dave. Now I've become Surf Rat!
/ Dave: That's not the game I was playing at all! / Neither was DIG DUG / Surf Rat triumphs again, riding the Wave of Freedom wherever he goes! / [[Dave drowns]]
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/09/mountain-time-1/ |
| Mountain Time 2 | [[Scoutmaster and his scouts come across a really big snake.]]
/ Really Big Snake: Look, I know I'm a really big snake, so can we skip past that part of the conversation?
/ Scoutmaster: Look, as a scoutmaster, I have to say that I'm a little anxious.
/ Child 2: A little? You already made us eat Joey so we wouldn't run out of hot dogs! / Really Big Snake: Ooh- you guys have hot dogs?
/ Scoutmaster: Well, we won't for long if we go handing them out to every giant snake we run into. Let's go, boys. / [[Mailbox appears]]
/ Mailbox: You fool! You should have eaten them and taken their hot dogs. We could've used them to summon the Great One / [[Scene cuts to the Great One, a giant hot dog.]]
/ The Great One: Most of my followers are Danish. / [[Back to our hero, the Scoutmaster]]
/ Scoutmaster: Who knew leading kids through the forest could be so gruesome?
/ Child 1: What made you think we'd need to eat 3 kids in one night? / [[Scene cuts to Onion attempting to kill a penguin.]]
/ Onion: Hey- you're not a condor!
/ Penguin: Yeah, and you're not a good ornithologist. / Onion: I am deeply ashamed. Back to the Dojo I go.
/ Penguin: Don't feel so bad. I won't tell anyone about this -- if you want to bring me some sushi. / [[Now back to Scoutmaster, who is missing his legs.]]
/ Scoutmaster: I've killed all the children and eaten half of myself... / Scoutmaster: TOTALLY gettin' a badge! / [[Scoutmaster dies and his spirit ascends to the Great One.]]
/ The Great One: Yep, this is really what happens. http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/10/mountain-time-2/ |
| Mountain Time 3 | [[Two Astronauts are standing together on an uncharted planet.]]
/ Astronaut 2: You know what I like best about exploring uncharted planets? You never have to worry about being eaten by hideous monsters. / Astronaut 1: Aw, man! Why'd you have to say that?
/ Astronaut 2: What? / Astronaut 1: It's a total jinx! We're pretty much guaranteed to get eaten by a monster now!
/ Astronaut 2: No, a jinx is when two people say something in unison. / [[Sure enough, an alien monster appears.]]
/ Astronaut 1 and Alien Monster in unison... (JINX!): You're an idiot.
/ Astronaut 2: Right there! Oh my God -- that was a jinx right there! / [[Cut to two guys and a swan. The swan is stuck in concrete. It's name is Chuck.]]
/ Guy 1: THAT is why you never let your pet swan swim in concrete.
/ Guy 2: Concrete is not chemically addictive. He can stop being stuck any time he's willing to try. / Guy 2: Show some WILLPOWER, Chuck. / Chuck (Thinking): Do I have it in me? Can I do it? Do I... Do I believe I can Fly? / [[Chuck tries to fly and fails.]] / [[Chuck begins to sweat.]]
/ Chuck (Still thinking): Ok, I can't fly, but I can sweat- and for a bird, that's pretty impressive. / [[Cut back to the astronaut who is conspicuously alone.]]
/ Astronaut 2 (Also thinking): I'm never going to find a coke machine on this planet. / [[Alien Monster is playing Pac-Man, while the following Psalm is displayed]]
/ My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. -Psalms 131:1 http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/12/mountain-time-3/ |
| Mountain Time 4 | [[The comic opens with a robot and his creator/battery giver.]]
/ Creator: My creation, I have given you life! ...Well, not exactly life, but batteries.
/ Robot: I want to explore the cosmos. / Creator: Actually, you were designed for mining operations. Let me get you some equipment.
/ Robot: Ok, then I will mine the cosmos. / [[Creator hands robot some mining equipment.]]
/ Creator: No, you will mine copper.
/ Robot: Cosmic copper? / [[In this panel, there is a badge that reads "Cosmic Copper Space Police Force"]] / [[A classic thief and cop chase occurs]]
/ Thief: You'll never take me alive, cosmic copper!
/ Cosmic Copper: I'm fine with that, actually. / [[The thief is shot with a ray gun.]]
/ Thief: AUGH! MY ORGANS ARE MELTING! I HATE OUR AMAZING TECHNOLOGY! / Astronaut 2: Did you really have to liquefy that guy?
/ Cosmic Copper: I thought he was carrying some kind of undiscovered fish, but it turns out is was just a sack of money. / [[The next panel proceeds to explain the differences between a sack of money, the elusive dollar fish, the dollar McFish sandwich, and Dolly McFish.]] / [[A monster appears; his name is Paul]]
/ Astronaut 2: What are you, some kind of tapeworm monster?
/ Paul: I'm Paul.
/ Cosmic Copper: Anyone have some tartar sauce? / [[Cut back to robot, who has killed its creator.]]
/ Robot: I have destroyed my creator and denied my purpose. I have no choice now but death. / [[Robot tries to hang himself.]] / Robot: ...oh... right. http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/16/mountain-time-4/ |
| Mountain Time 5 | [[The Chosen One finds a sword on the ground]]
/ TCO: Hey, there's a sword on the ground. / [[Turns out it's a talking sword]]
/ Blade of Torthos: I AM NO MERE SWORD. I AM THE BLADE OF TORTHOS. WHOEVER WIELDS ME WILL BE IMMUNE TO DEATH IN BATTLE. / TCO: No thanks. I don't really battle anybody very often. Or at all.
/ BoT: MORTAL! WAIT! / BoT: I DO NOT EXAGGERATE MY POWERS. I CAN MAKE YOU A GREAT WARRIOR. / TCO: Right, I get that--it's just that no one fights with swords anymore, and I'm more interested in being an engineer than a warrior. / BoT: DUDE, SERIOUSLY. I'M A TALKING MAGICAL SWORD. YOU COULD AT LEAST SELL ME OR SOMETHING.
/ TCO: That's kind of a weird way to think about yourself. / [[Focus shifts to a robot adrift at sea]]
/ Unknown Speaker: Hey, that's not a bouy--it's a robot!
/ Robot (Thinking): I-I am?
/ Panel: "The Dawn of Identity" / [[Agoraphobic Hamster Title Panel: The Adventures of Agoraphobic Hamster]] / Agoraphobic Hamster (Thinking): hmm... should i go to the park today? / Agoraphobic Hamster (Thinking): ...no. / [[Back to the robot]]
/ Robot: Beep? Whir? Shake your butt? http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/17/mountain-time-5/ |
| Mountain Time 6 | {{1}}
/ [[This comic is set up in a CYOA book style, so it will be a tad confusing unless you actually read the comic.]]
/ [[A man goes to see a mystic]]
/ {{1}}
/ Man: Great Mystic, tell my how my life will end. / {{2}}
/ Mystic: Your life will end with you dying.
/ Man: Yikes. / {{3}}
/ Panel: For an existential comic, go to panel 5.
/ Panel: For a pun-based comic, go to panel 13.
/ Panel: For an account of the dust bowl, go to wikipedia or something. / {{4}}
/ [[A great hero is fighting the Hydra!]]
/ Panel: This is the wrong panel. Please choose again. / {{5}}
/ [[The man seeks advice from his lady friend]]
/ Man: That mystic made me realize that if I don't die I'll live forever!
/ Lady Friend: Then you must find those who have not died and find out how they lived. / {{6}}
/ [[The man seeks out those who are still alive]]
/ Man: Excuse me, but have you died?
/ The Boy Who Lived: No.
/ Man: Then how do you live?
/ The Boy Who Lived: In a constant state of despair. / {{7}}
/ [[Later at a supermarket]]
/ Man: Sweet mercy! This store only carries five brands of pretzels.
/ Puffed Up Hair Guy: Excuse me, but what are you doing? / {{8}}
/ Man: I'm living in despair so that I never die.
/ Puffed Up Hair Guy: If you want to live forever, you must realize the forms you could take other than your own. / {{9}}
/ [[The Panel Text does a good job of describing what is happening in the panels from 9 to 11]]
/ Panel: Blade of Grass:
/ Grass: Why, hello there, ladies. / {{10}}
/ Panel: Arrogant Snowman
/ Snowman: You can tell that snowmen are the manliest because we've got three balls. / {{11}}
/ Panel: Snailbear:
/ Snailbear: Rarr! / {{12}}
/ [[Back to the action at hand]]
/ Man: I realize now that I have chosen the context of my existence!
/ Puffed Up Hair Guy: Precisely. / {{13}}
/ [[The man presumably dies eating PAAS egg dye.]]
/ Panel: The End http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/19/mountain-time-6/ |
| Mountain Time 7 | [[Agoraphobic Hamster Time!]]
/ Agoraphobic Hamster (Thinking): oh why oh why oh why did I decide to go to the fair today? / Panel: TODAY: AGORAPHOBIC HAMSTER GOES TO THE FAIR but first... / [[The Astronauts are planting a blank flag on a planet's surface]]
/ Astronaut 1: I can't believe our government is so cheap they sent us here to plant a blank flag.
/ Astronaut 2: Eh. No one's ever going to see it anyway. / [[Five hundred years later, people from the future try to colonize the planet!]]
/ Future Astronaut 1: Oh my God! Blankland already colonized this planet!
/ Future Astronaut 2: Bastards! / [[The Penguins discuss the Dot/Blank wars]]
/ Penguin 1: Do you know why the Dots couldn't win against the Blanks?
/ Penguin 2: No. Why?
/ Penguin 1: Because they were shooting Blanks. / [[Onion chops the head off of a condor.]]
/ Onion: Your kind is only superficially similar to Old World Vultures. / [[Onion goes for another kill]]
/ Onion: For instance: Old World Vultures rely on sight alone, while New World Vultures--including you condors--also have a strong sense of smell. / [[Onion: 2 Condors: 0]]
/ Onion: Friggin' pick one, you indecisive jackasses! / Onion: Then again, if they can't even smell an onion coming... / [[Agoraphobic Hamster goes to the fair!]]
/ Carnie: Care to test your strength?
/ Agoraphobic Hamster: eep! / [[Agoraphobic Hamster goes home]]
/ {{Later at home...}}
/ Agoraphobic Hamster: Maybe it's pathetic. But at least I'm not an alcoholic. / [[Another hamster is found dead, it's "obviously not" Agoraphobic Hamster, because he lives on in future comics...]]
/ Panel: Having founded your town by the sacred lake, She finished it's great walls for you Ninkasi, having founded your town by the sacred lake, She finished it's great walls for you, Your father is Enki, Lord Nidimmud, Your mother is Ninti, the queen of the sacred lake... http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/23/mountain-time-7/ |
| Mountain Time 8 | [[A ghost appears to scare a generic dude]]
/ Ghost: Boo.
/ GD: Woah! Are you a ghost? Wow! ... You know, I'd always thought this would be scarier. / Ghost: Yeah, my heart's just not in it anymore.
/ GD: Why not? / Ghost: Well, I realized that I could never get a pay increase, since ghosts don't get paid.
/ GD: So you were only in it for the money!? / Ghost: Of course not! I got into this for the ox bile! But it turns out we don't get that either.
/ GD: Whatever. Bye. / [[GD leaves]]
/ Ghost: But ox bile aids in the digestion of body fats! ...which we don't have either. / [[Snailbear appears for the second time]]
/ Snailbear: Rarr!
/ Ghost: Wow, God really did get bored after the 7th day. / [[GD tells Dave of his predicament]]
/ GD: Dave! I just saw a ghost!
/ Dave: Oh yeah? Did it look like... / [[Dave turns into a rabbit]]
/ Dave: THIS?!
/ GD: No. Not at all. / [[Dave turns back]]
/ Dave: Oh. Then it probably was a ghost.
/ GD: Exactly! / [[Canoe Dude is in a canoe on a mountain]]
/ CD: No river, but I've got a boat and a paddle. / [[CD is now in a river, an alligator eyes him hungrily]]
/ CD: No boat, but I've got a river and a paddle.
/ Alligator (thinking): What providence! http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/24/mountain-time-8/ |
| Mountain Time 9 | [[Guy meets Man-Fly]]
/ Guy: Experiment gone awry?
/ Man-Fly: Nah. I broke the Prom Promise. / Guy: They turned you into a fly for drinking on prom night?!
/ Man-Fly: It was either this or writing an essay. / Guy: I think you seriously need to reevaluate your decision-making process.
/ Man-Fly: But-- / [[Scene change to two mushrooms]]
/ Mushroom: You're more like a mushcloset! / [[Scene change to the Astronauts]]
/ Astronaut 1: So I told her, "Vicky, you've got to stop freebasing hairspray."
/ Astronaut 2: Yeah-- how do you even do that? / [[Wizard Appears!!]]
/ Wizard: I can tell you, if you really want to know.
/ Astronaut 1: Woah.
/ Astronaut 2: Dude! Wizard Planet! / Wizard: It's not a "Wizard Planet." It's a planet with a few wizards on it.
/ Astronaut 2: That sounds like a Wizard Planet to me. / [[Giant Monster Alien appears!]]
/ Wizard: That's like calling an ocean "Shark Ocean."
/ Astronaut 1: Now that's a badass ocean!
/ Astronaut 2: Uh... / [[Back to Man-Fly]]
/ Man-Fly: But dude, it was an essay on Little Women.
/ Guy: Jesus! Where's the PTA? / [[Back to the Mushrooms]]
/ Mushroom: Wow, you're like a mushtwo-bedroom-apartment! http://mountaincomics.com/2009/02/26/mountain-time-9/ |
| Five Part Special Part 1 | Freaked-Out-Woman: It's... coming... / Freaked-Out-Balding-Man: It's... coming... / [[An ellipsis falls on a man]]
/ Panel: ...IT'S HERE.
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/04/13/five-part-special-part-1/ |
| Five Part Special Part 2 | [[Protagonist/Chair is watching TV]]
/ Protagonist: Ah, a nature documentary. Maybe this will help chill me out about becoming a chair. / TV: Soaring high above the desert, the graceful California Condor may travel as far as 150-- / [[Onion comes in and stabs the TV]]
/ Protagonist (Thinking): Wow, being a chair is weird.
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/04/14/five-part-special-part-2/ |
| Five Part Special Part 3 | [[It's part three of the five part special! Protagonist tries to get his body back.]]
/ Protagonist: Hey you! I need my body back! / [[Enter onion]]
/ Onion: He has the mind of a chair. You're not going to get through to him.
/ Protagonist: Hey buddy, I'm a chair. / [[Protagonist dreams about being a man again]]
/ Panel: A chair that dreamed it was a man. / [[The dream protagonist dreams about seeing Apocallipsis]]
/ Panel: ...who dreamed of seeing Apocallipsis. / [[...]] / [[Protagonist becomes himself again]]
/ Protagonist: Woah! Introspection made me me again! But... / [[There is a tattoo of a rest on his arm]]
/ Protagonist: There's some kind of tattoo on my arm. Huh. / [[To the penguins, for some reason]]
/ Penguin 1: Really? Musical notation humor?
/ Penguin 2: Quiet! I'm pondering the deeper meaning of the film Groundhog Day. / Penguin 1: Isn't it just about making the most of your situation in order to better yourself?
/ Penguin 2: Yeah, but nobody actually does that. I'm thinking it's secretly about werewolves. / [[Picture of the Magna Carta]]
/ Panel: Same goes for the Magna Carta. / [[Back to the Protagonist]]
/ Protagonist: Sweet! Now I can master the mandolin!
/ Onion: You mean "go see Apocallipsis." / Protagonist: Even better! I don't really like the mandolin!
/ Onion (Thinking): Maybe he still has the mind of a chair. / [[Back to the Protagonist's arm]]
/ Protagonist: Oh, I get it--"Arm Rest!"
/ Protagonist: Because I was a chair! http://mountaincomics.com/2009/04/15/five-part-special-part-3/ |
| Five Part Special Part 4 | JESUS: THE SON OF GOD / KILLED BY ADDITION / REVIVED BY DIVINITY
/ WHAT, ME DIE? / COFOUNDER OF THE BYZANTINE EMPIRE / ALONG WITH CONSTANTINE
/ Constantine: Rome shall be a Christian state! / WHO WAS BEGAT BY INTERMITTENTINE
/ Intermittentine: Rome... be... state! / JESUS WAS THEN FORGOTTEN FOR 90,000 YEARS / ...UNTIL ONE IMMACULATE LASAGNA WAS BAKED
/ Lasagna: I'll turn your water into Jagerbombs! / LASAGNA JESUS
/ THIS SUMMER / Ray (thinking): Man, these previews go on forever. / ONE MAN.
/ THREE TABLES.
/ ONE UNFORGETTABLE SUMMER! / Robot 1: "Tofurkey" and "faux turkey" mean the same thing.
/ Robot 2: I weep? http://mountaincomics.com/2009/04/16/five-part-special-part-4/ |
| Five Part Special Part 5 | Ray: I finally saw Apocallipsis, but I still don't feel complete. / Ray: And suddenly I'm in a desert.
/ Cowboy: Howdy. / Ray: Who are you?
/ Cowboy: I reckon this'ere's what yer lookin' for. / Ray: Uh...
/ Cowboy: It's a Slow-Action Soul Vacuum. Just keep it in yer pocket and it'll slowly suck out yer soul over the course of yer lifetime. / Ray: I was a chair once.
/ Cowboy: Just relax, Ray. Worryin' never solved nothin'. / [[Ray inspects the Slow-Action Soul Vacuum]] / Ray: So where did you -- / Ray: Uh... Cowboy dude? / Ray: Shit -- I don't even have a cheesecloth. / < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/04/17/five-part-special-part-5/ |
| Archipelago's Euphony | Condor: Please spare me!
/ Onion: Ok -- on the condition that you name an English word more pleasant-sounding than archipelago. / Condor: Uh... phlegm? / Cowboy: Before we watch the onion kill the condor, let's talk about Greenland. / Greenland is a very large country with fewer than 60,000 residents. / It was colonized by Vikings at a date no later than 1996.
/ Viking 1: Eskimos.
/ Viking 2: I knew it. / Eskimo: It's pronounced "Inuit".
/ Viking 1: Should we kill him or enjoy his wordplay?
/ Viking 2: I dunno. / Eskimo: Well, you're Vikings, so killing me would better fit your cultural idiosyncrasies.
/ Viking 1: He has a point.
/ Viking 2: I do enjoy killing. / Eskimo: Don't worry. You'll be quite content inside my Eskimo Cube of Doom.
/ [[The Cube sucks in the Vikings]]
/ Viking 1: I bet this is bad. / Eskimo: I have two more souls for you, Lord Tubilah.
/ Lord Tubilah: Look, I don't need souls; I need to figure out why I have airplanes for appendages. / Lord Tubilah: Also, my name is Greg.
/ TO BE CONTINUED http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/01/archipelagos-euphony-part-1/ |
| Archipelago's Euphony Part 2 | CONTINUED
/ Eskimo: How may I serve you now, Lord Tubliah?
/ Greg: Greg.
/ Eskimo: How may I serve you now, Greg? / Greg: I dunno... some GENETICS EXPERTS, maybe? I'm covered in FRIGGIN' AIRPLANES over here!
/ Eskimo: How about some more Vikings? Those were pretty easy to get. / Meanwhile, inside the Eskimo Cube of Doom
/ Viking 1: Man, I wish we had some way out of this cube.
/ Viking 2: Wow -- I was just thinking that! / [[The Vikings ponder]] / Viking 1: Hey! We have axes!
/ Viking 2: Right! / [[The Vikings chop away at the Cube]]
/ < http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/02/archipelagos-euphony-part-2/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/03/archipelagos-euphony-part-3/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/03/archipelagos-euphony-part-3/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/04/archipelagos-euphony-part-4/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/06/04/archipelagos-euphony-part-4/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/03/five-part-special-part-6/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/03/five-part-special-part-6/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/04/five-part-special-part-7/">http://mountaincomics.com/2009/08/04/five-part-special-part-7/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
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