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Crazy Musicians Hanging out with MUSICIANS: / Sarah Goldfeather: So what should we do for this next jam? / Tim Hollinger: Joe and I like sudden time signature changes. / Joe Dobrow: Dude, we should get CRAZY.
Five Thirty AM On Thursday morning I got up at 5:30 AM for work. / Athena: ZZZ / That evening mom and I ate dinner at French Meadow. Then she went to a meeting at the LOFT and I went to a Cartoonist Conspiracy Jam! / We had a lot of fun!! / This morning I got up for work at 5:30 again. / This schedule is still taking some adjustment.
You Don't Want Bottled Water Father: Okay, so what do you want to drink? / / [[The little boy points at some bottled water.]] / Father: WATER? You want BOTTLED WATER? No no, we don't want to PAY for water that was hauled here in a TRUCK. How about a nice ITALIAN SODA? They're great, they're-- / [[The little boy looks sad and continues to point at the bottled water.]]
You Don't Want A Frappuccino Athena: Gus, remember that lady yesterday who ordered an Americano with a flavor shot and whipped cream on top? / Gus: Yeah. / Athena: When she ordered, she referred to her drink size as a VENTI. / Gus: UGH. Whenever someone uses the Starbucks sizes, I just play dumb. As if I have NO IDEA what they're talking about. / Kate: The other day, a woman came in and asked me what we put in our Frappuccinos.
Weighty Wealth Athena: You know how people always act like it's RUDE or UNCOMFORTABLE to talk about money? / Athena: I think the only people who actually feel that way are rich people. / Athena: So, how can you afford to travel around Europe for a year? / Rich Chick: Oh! Er, um, / Athena: So how is it that you can send your kids to that fancy camp every summer? / Rich Dude: Oh! Well, see, / Athena: So, how did a dumb ass like YOU get into YALE? / George W. Bush: Oh! Gee, uh, / Athena: I'm SICK of this! I wish people would just admit their financial status! 'Fess up to privilege! / Athena: I don't care who knows how much money I have. / Athena: For instance: there is $101.32 in this tip bag. / [[Tip bag goes jingle jingle.]]
 
actionathena.com ? Archive ? Dinner With My Parents Dinner with my Parents / Athena: One thing about being back in Minnesota is, any guy I think might be gay, turns out to be straight. / Dad: It must be harder to come out in the Midwest. / Mom: That reminds me, did you ever check out that website my Carleton friend made? / Athena: A little. Awhile ago. / Mom: I hadn't really looked at it until the other day. Did you know it's just FULL of gay porn! / Athena: Really? / Mom: Yep. That's why he can't come to the reunion this year. He's at a gay porn film festival in Paris. / Athena: Huh? / Mom: I'd--I'd be interested to hear what you think if you looked at it. / Athena: ! / Athena: ? / Mom: Because--because some of the stuff was very GRAPHIC. But it seemed like the French film festival stuff was going for something more...artistic and...erotic. / Athena: Huh. Y'know, I've heard that a lot of straight women actually prefer gay porn. / Mom: Really? / Athena: Yeah, because it's all men, so there's nothing degrading to women. Plus, the men are way more attractive. / Mom: Yes! I can see that. I would definitely prefer porn with hotter men.
Vagina Time DEAR FEMINIST HAMPSHIRE LADY FRIENDS, I HOPE THE FIRST 3 1/2 WEEKS OF POST-COLLEGE LIFE HAVE TREATED YOU WELL! I MISS YOU! Heart, Athena / [[Floating about Athena are Lizz, Hannah, Diana, Kate, Tabitha, Julia, Sarah, and Sasha.]]
Bath Aggression Athena: And then he was all, "So who reads your comic, three middle-aged dudes jerkin' off?" It was so passive-aggressive! / Sarah Currier: Yeah. / Athena: Dixie, YOU'RE never passive-aggressive. / Sarah Currier: Nope. She's just aggressive, 24/7. / Athena and Sarah: YES, GOOD GIRL, DIXIE / Sarah Currier: She needs a bath. / [[Dixie looks up anxiously.]] / Sarah Currier: Yep. I'm gonna give her a bath RIGHT NOW. / Dixie: SNARL / Sarah Currier: Ooh, she knows it! / Dixie: GROWL! / Dixie: SLOBBER SNORT / Dixie: HOWL / Dixie: WHIMPER
Going to William's GOING TO WILLIAM'S / Sarah Goldfeather and Athena: WILLIAM! WILLIAM, WHERE ARE YOU! / Sarah Goldfeather: Goddamnit, he invites us over here, and then he's not even HERE. / Athena: What a jerk. / Sarah Goldfeather: Let's just go in the back. / Athena: Okay. / Sarah Goldfeather: This IS his house, right? We're not just wandering into some stranger's house? / Athena: YES, I am CERTAIN this is his house. / Sarah Goldfeather: God, how embarrassing would it be to walk in on one of your friends masturbating? / Athena: Omigod, it would be so gross! / Sarah Goldfeather: Like if you just opened that door and-- / Athena: Ope! Hey dog! / Athena: Ha ha, whose dog is this? He just appeared from the dar-- / Voice: CLOSE THE DOOR, PLEASE. / [[Athena and Sarah state at one another in shock and terror.]] / [[Athena and Sarah run from the house.]] / [[Athena and Sarah stop running when they get to the street, and shake with laughter.]] / Athena and Sarah: BAH HA HA HAAAA HA HA! / Sarah Goldfeather: WHAT just happened? / Athena: Omigod, omigod, I totally forgot-- / Athena: William said his mom was renting out the basement apartment this summer! We totally just walked into some guy's apartment!!! / Sarah Goldfeather: AND TALKED ABOUT MASTURBATION!!! / Athena and Sarah: BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA WILLIAM! / William: What is this, fuckin' Ghost World?
Civilization The downside to the Carleton Reunion is snooty East Coasters. / Snooty Lady: Do you do smoothies? / Athena: Yes we do! That's the list of flavors. / Snooty Lady: How many flavors can I choose? / Athena: Um, well most people just choose two. / Snooty Lady: TWO?! scoff. Fine, we'd like two LARGE smoothies. I'll have...MANGO...and BANANA. / Snooty Lady's Husband: I'll have a STRAWBERRY AND PEACH. / Snooty Lady [[spotting the New York Times]]: GASP! CIVILIZATION!! / [[Athena holds a blender and looks unhappy.]]
 
The Comic is a Lie DANG is it tough to tell the truth in autobiographical art! / Athena [[looking at her comics]]: LIES! IT'S ALL LIES!! / It's easy to say "there's no objective reality" or "there as many different truths as there are people." / [[Athena looks scholarly, smokes a pipe, and clutches a book of Kant.]] / It's another thing to really let those words SINK IN. / Athena: I'M SUCH A LIAR!! / This hasn't dampened my love of auobiographical work. I'm just...more fully comprehending what a construction it is. / [[Cartoon Athena Head + Word bubble saying "blah blah blah" + panels does not = Athena!]] / And I'm beginning to be more intentional about my own constructions. / Athena [[sculpting a small Athena's butt]]: And I'll make this smaller and--
Goldfeather's Last Weekend Seven Corners Chipotle, June 26 2010 / Tim: So Athena, am I being WILD AND CRAZY enough to end up in a comic? / Athena: You're being TOO BIG. I can't fit you into a panel. / Tim: Psh. / Athena: Hey, is this shirt that, y'know, that three wolf moon thing? / Tim: Nah, it's not... / Doug [[off panel]]: Guys, guys- / [[Doug unbuttons his plaid shirt...]] / [[To reveal the three wolf moon shirt. It is glowing.]]
LOOK ME IN THE EYE Mike [[who lives at Laurel Ave]]: Wanna know how to really freak someone out? / Athena: Yeah. / Mike: You just STARE at one of their ears and DON'T STOP no matter how much they move. / Athena: Ahh! / Mike: And then you say threateningly, LOOK ME IN THE EYE, but you keep staring at their ear, so they CAN'T look you in the eye! / Athena: AHH! / Mike: LOOK ME IN THE EYE GODDAMNIT! / Athena: AHH!
actionathena.com ? Archive ? Maps Some things that I was emotional about this week: / Sarah leaving. Athena: "Does this mean summer is over?" Sign with arrow: NYC this way. / Kate visiting: Kate via phone: -and I don't need to get to San Fransisco unit the 19th-- / Me staying in Northfield. / Athena: "Minneapolis you're still so far away." / My appreciation for my job and coworkers. / Athena: "I am very lucky to have this." / / The New Standards' cover of "Maps." / Athena: "God, Athena, get a grip!" / Radio playing: They don't love you like I love you.
Kate in Minnesota When Sarah left, I took it pretty rough. I was a big jerk during out last hangout. / Athena: I'm sorry, I'm just really tired. Goodbuh--buh--BWA WAH WAHHH! / It was great that Kate and Rebecca arrived the very next day. / [[On a road trip from Boston to San Francisco]] / After showing them Northfield... / Ruth Silte: On sept 7, 1876.. / And the cities... / [[Chris and McClain, Lake Nokomis]] / I began to feel okay about being here without Sarah. / Athena: I just really like it here! / It made me think that maybe for now I need to keep my plans in state. / Athena: Fuck Fulbrights, fuck Vermont... / But maybe that's cowardly? Or maybe next year I'll have changed my mind about everything? / 1-yr-in-the-future-Athena: I must travel THE GLOBE!!! / For now I will try to enjoy it.
 
Bill Haverchuck Athena: Man... / Athena: Bill on "Freaks and Geeks" is...maybe the best thing ever. / Athena: heh heh / Athena: That's all I got today.
Happy Stupid Shit Today I took a nap. Thursday, July 8 2010 / I know I whine a lot about stupid shit. But I also really appreciate stupid shit. / Athena [[holding a talking virgin Mary doll]]: Wow. / Like getting to work and hearing good gossip. / Person A: scandalous local politics / Person B: burnouts and crazy dudes / Or like walking into the grocery store and seeing what must undoubtedly have been the world's fattest weiner dog. / Athena: ! / [[dog's stomach = mere centimeters from ground!]] / Or like mom telling me (after dinner and wine): sex just keeps getting better as you get older! / Or like having the BEST RUN, where it feels like I could just keep running forever, into infinity, through the beige box new neighborhoods on the edge of town that I sort of love even though I hate them. / Athena [[singing]]: little boxes, little boxes / I love it that I don't know anyone who lives there. / I love every song that comes up on my iPod. / iPod: LISTEN ALL Y'ALL IT'S A SABOTAGE / I love all the summer smells, and the light. / I love my red and grey shoes. / Meh. What else to say? My life is slow, but so am I.
Texts from Goldfeather Sarah Goldfeather: I live right across from where JZ grew up! / Sarah Goldfeather: I just ran into Frank Flavell on an escalator!! / Sarah Goldfeather: Maia and I are hanging out together! / Sarah Goldfeather: Omg, I just walked into a Why? concert!! / Sarah Goldfeather: Don't make fun of me, but...Williamsburg is really pretty cool... / Athena: She's never coming back to Minnesota.
Journal Things I spent an embarrassingly large chunk of the last 2 days catching up my journal. / I hadn't written for 2 months. I hate it when I get so behind. It makes me feel like my life is all slipping away from me. / I've got such a compulsion to hang on to every moment. To record and analyze it, to have it pinned down so that I might someday return to it. / Now I'm caught up again. / Time to do some new things to write about.
College Diploma I don't know what to do with my college diploma. / It's just sitting under my desk, next to my trash can. / Diploma: heh heh / Diploma: Heh, you thought I'd give you a REAL job! / Diploma: But all I gave you was $7,000 in loans! HEH HEH HEH! / I guess it can stay where it is.
 
Some Things About Blue Monday SOME THINGS I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT BLUE MONDAY / I like dark coffees. / But not the French. / I like restocking beans. / I hate mopping. / The scariest thing is the hot water for tea. / The mixed berry coffeecake is only available on weekends. / It is a beautiful thing. (Whipped cream is free!) / The morning music is not always great / Music: WORLD MUSIC OH YEAH / But sometimes it's really great. / Music: ANDREW BIRD OH YEAH / There are regulars who wait outside until the doors open. / Refills are 75 cents. / I feel much satisfaction when I produce good milk foam. / The unlit bulb above the espresso machine is art. / IT'S A NICE PLACE.
What Do YOU Think I Should Do With My Life? I am a person who likes to have A PLAN. / [[Dream Athena has a job with health benefits, owns her own home, is 5 minutes early for everything, and has rock hard abs.]] / During the last year, I've gone through several post-college plans, leaping greedily upon each fresh one, and grieving 9read: whining) each time one fails. / Athena: Maybe THIS one! / I hate all this scaling back and uncertainty. And I hate re-explaining myself to friends and relatives. / Adult: So what ARE you doing next year? / Athena: Well...not comic college... / I hate feeling like I don't measure up... / Athena: Yeah, it'd be nice to go live in a big city like my friend are doing... and, uh, someday I'd like to have a REAL GROWN-UP job! / ...and sounding like I don't have a clue. / I am EMPLOYED. That is a good thing. / I am living in a SMALL TOWN with MY PARENTS. That is less good. / I keep circling and circling over this stuff. In my head...in my comics...in painful small talk with old high school classmates. / Hot female high school classmate: So, you're here for the summer? / Athena: Um, no, the year. That'll be 1.71. / And I STILL don't have A PLAN. / Athena [[browsing through a book about Grad Schools]]: Which one won't put me into DEBT, and will GUARANTEE I'll end up in a job I love? / Life would be a lot easier if I liked science. / [[Mad Scientist Athena gleefully tosses cash and human organs into the air.]]
Of Recent Importance Ian came back from Argentina. / [[Athena sneak sneak sneaks up to Laurel Ave.]] / [[Athena steps quietly into Laurel Ave.]] / [[Athena gasps as she spots Ian playing FIFA.]] / [[Athena TACKLES Ian.]] / Athena: hey! / Ian: hey! / The Kearneys came down for Crazy Daze. / Tom [[holding a big box of Grain Belt]]: LET'S GET CRAZY! / [[The Kearneys sit at the Currier's island. They all look like Abercrombie models.]] / Athena: And he finally got arrested for leapfrogging by himself! / Tom: And he just pulled his balls out, right there in Bagel Brothers! / [[We traded stories.]] / [[7:00 AM. The cousins walk Division Street in the rain.]] / I took some good naps. / [[I dreamed hard.]]
Letter for Lucy A LITTLE LETTER FOR LUCY KNISLEY / Dear Lucy Knisley, / I am a big fan of your comics. And YOUR BRAIN. / I gather from your webcomcis that you are going through some major life changes... / ...and moving to NEW YORK. / While I will of course support any decision you make... / ...might I suggest Minnesota instead? / [[Minneapolis. Me!]]
Chris Monroe Every single Friday wihle I was at college in Massachusetts, my dad would clip Chris Monroe's comic from the Star Tribune and mail it to me. / My whole family loves her stuff. We have the strip about Bob Dylan getting picked up by Duluth police taped to the fridge. / In the introduction to her book "Ultra Violet," she writes that her early strip "The Invisible Fence" allowed her to "explore the boundaries of realistic dialogue, which became a huge obsession with me." / I think this is what makes her comics so great--her ear for the way people talk, and her ability to express it not only through her words, but also the way those words LOOK. / Also, she has an uncanny ability to remember and articulate what it's like to be a kid. / She used to be an artsy punk in Minneapolis; these days she's being a badass in Duluth.
 
actionathena.com ? Archive ? Nothing More Than Feelings Why do physical needs and ailments manifest themselves as emotions? Athena crying. / Exhaustion as depression...Sad Athena I fail in all things. / Sickness as impatience...Weary-eyed Athena: Everyone is slow / Horniness as rage... Angry Athena: I want to smash things. / Hunger as bitterness...Cross Athena: Everyone sucks. / Why can't I just be a mess physically?
actionathena.com ? Archive ? Too Much Water Little girl: My stomach hurts / Athena: Uh oh, do you think it's because you ate that giant cupcake? / Little girl: No. No, it's not that. It's because I drank too much water. / Little girl: It's definitely because I drank too much water.
actionathena.com ? Archive ? Neat Freak Artists Unite Who started the myth that in order to be artistic, a person must also be a TOTAL FLAKE? Ditzy artist: I love colors! / My guess? THIS GUY: Hipster: I'm not good with "plans", or "schedules" or...writing. Or working. I'm more of an "Idea Guy." You wouldn't understand. You're not creative. Sigh. It's so HARD being a genius! / Being organized/hygienic/timely does not mean a person is incapable of being artistic/radical. Artist to straight guy: Hate rays from eyes. (Hampshire College students/staff/faculty/alumni, TAKE NOTE.) / I kept thinking about this in the days leading up to Hampshire's commencement. Hampshire sent out like five BILLION emails telling us about a mandatory commencement meeting. At least 1/3 of the class didn't show up. / / Most of the meeting was made up of staff answering idiotic questions from students who hadn't read their email. / Hipster girl: um, yeah, what day is commencement? / We didn't stand in alphabetical order during the ceremony. Too hard for such free thinkers? / Hipster to staff woman with clipboard: My given name or my spirit name? / / In his commencement speech, Peter Cole talked about "radical conformity." It reminded me of one of my Grandmother's favorite phrases, "Everything in moderation, including moderation." Athena: I can be radical without being genderqueer or having a hipster mullet?? / Or manybe that doesn't make any sense. Maybe I'm too much of a creative genius to stay on topic for a whole 8 panels. Athena: NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!!
actionathena.com ? Archive ? Bolivia [[Athena writes on a chalk board. Gus approaches.]] / Gus: You're getting better with the chalk. / Athena: Thanks, Gus! / Gus: Although that "V" looks like it's going to fly away. / [[Athena glares at the board]] / Athena: ! / [[The board reads: "BoliVia Mocha Java Highlander." The "V" is slightly higher than the other letters]] / [[The "V", now with bird-like wings, flies above a mountain range.]]
Econo Cookies Athena: Oh look Mom, they're giving out samples of those awful looking fluorescent colored cookies we always make fun of. / Sarah Currier: Oh, ish. / Athena: Let's try them. / Sarah Currier: Of course. / [[Both choke over how terrible the cookies taste.]] / Athena: Why did we DO that?? / Sarah Currier: There's not even a wastebasket to spit them out into.
 

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