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Mini-Comics Day A COUPLE OF DOGS & THE #4: Some Stories of Getting to My First Job in Minneapolis / From late January through early April 2011, the #4 bus regularly took me from my home in Northeast Minneapolis... / ...to my crappy barista job in Uptown. / I would walk the last 8 blocks, from Lyndale to Hennepin. It was there that I saw the first dog. / Dog's Owner: HARVEY, NO!
http://actionathena.com/2011/04/11/mini-comics-day/
He Owns A Zoo AT ALTERED ESTHETICS FOR A "JUST ADD INK" PLANNING MEETING. TUESDAY, APRIL 5, 2011. / Jaime Schumacher: So for this comics workshop, we'll be leaving the morning after Altered Esthetics' 7th birthday party, so I'll be tired, but...it'll be fun! 'Cause it's MOORHEAD! / Dan Olson: Not just Moorhead: FARGO and Moorhead. Just like the Twin Cities! / Jaime Schumacher: Yeah, just like the Twin Cities... Heh. I'm sure we'll find SOMETHING to do. / Kevin Cannon: Actually... / Britt Hammerberg: Oh God, Kevin knows all the cool stuff to do in Moorhead... / Kevin Cannon: Actually, I know this guy... / The Rest: ... / Kevin Cannon: This old guy... / The Rest: groan / Kevin Cannon: He most be like 90! / The Rest: GROAN / Kevin Cannon: He OWNS a ZOO!
http://actionathena.com/2011/04/13/he-owns-a-zoo/
The Ponies vs Zander Minneapolis Cartoonist Conspiracy Jam, Thursday April 7, 2011. / Zander Cannon [[to Jordan Shiveley and Britt Sabo]]: Sigh. Y'know, I've gotta say it: I watched the first episode of My Little Pony, and I LIKED it. / Athena [[sitting with Adam Wirtzfeld and Ted Anderson]]: WHAT! / Zander Cannon: I was just gonna watch the first scene, but then, 'yknow, it was pretty good! The dialogue, the characters, the blah blah blah blah / [[Athena shakes her head.]] / Zander Cannon [[to Athena]]: It's true! I liked it! I've switched sides! / Athena: I can't believe it. You're like, the manliest cartoonist in the room! / Athena [[to Ted]]: He really lost something today. / Ted Anderson: Well, let's just be honest about it: he lost his balls. / [[Athena scowls. A lightbulb appears above Ted's head.] / Ted Anderson: I would like to note that, once again, the subject of My Little Pony came up with ZERO prompting from ME!
http://actionathena.com/2011/04/15/the-ponies-vs-zander/
Call Me Tits DINNER at the MODERN CAFE with Jason & the Parents / Sarah Currier: Oh Athena: you will NEVER KNOW how many things I feel guilty about as a mother. I have this ENDLESS list of REGRETS! / Athena: Like what? / Sarah Currier: Like the time I let you get that TERRIBLE sunburn at the pool! And you got those AWFUL blisters, and we had to put OINTMENT on you for WEEKS. And then came the PUS-- / Athena: Well, that's not your fault really. It's just 'cause I'm so frickin' pale. / Ross Currier: Well then it's MY fault, 'cause you got that from me. Actually, when I was a kid, I had to wear a t-shirt to the pool. / [[The table is silent. Everyone stares incredulously.]] / Everyone but Ross: HA HA HA HA HA HA / Sarah Currier: Oh my God. You were one of THOSE kids! / Ross Currier: I guess so. / Sarah Currier: And you were even a little chubby! You were the chubby kid in a t-shirt at the pool! / Ross Currier: Yeah. / Ross Currier: Actually, they used to call me "tits." / [[Uncontrollable laughter.]]
http://actionathena.com/2011/04/18/call-me-tits/
Based on Lesbianism Athena [[to Jason]]: Hey! How was your Monday? / Jason: Not so bad. I got home literally a minute ago. See, look! Comics! / Athena: Ha ha. So your garage sale season has begun again! / Jason: yessssss / Jason: Also, don't judge me: I got Wendy's hamburgers. / Athena: Hey man, I just bought candy at Target. And when I get home, I'm gonna eat four tacos. / Jason: Only four? / Jason: Most of this is probably crap, but there are at least a couple issues that'll sell for 20 bucks, and that's what I paid for the whole thing. And look at this Kirby stuff!! So much fun! / Athena: Where'd you get it? / Jason: Just across the river, North Minneapolis. From an old guy who was selling off his grown son's childhood collection. / Jason: He told me he didn't know how good it was; I said I didn't mind, I could bring stuff in to my students. / Jason: Heh heh, he said, / Jason: He said, "Well WATCH OUT, because there's one PORNO comic in there---it's based on LESBIANISM!"
http://actionathena.com/2011/04/20/based-on-lesbianism/
 
Golden Birthday Barbecue Consider yourself cordially invited to: / Athena's Golden Birthday Barbecue / Athena: NO GIFTS PLZ! Just bring some booze, or something interesting to put on the grill. / WHO: Athena Currier / WHAT: A barbecue / WHEN: Saturday April 23 2011, 7:00pm---whenever / WHY: Because Athena is awesome, because Athena is old, because Athena quit her crappy Uptown barista job...and because the weather is FINALLY nice! / Note: Just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean you have to be! MEAT IS ALLOWED.
http://actionathena.com/2011/04/22/golden-birthday-barbecue/
Where's My Group? WHERE'S MY GROUP? / Lost your group members? Check the gold sign-in sheet on the Circ desk. / If you're the first one here, write down your meeting location so that others can find you.
http://actionathena.com/2011/04/25/wheres-my-group/
Seven Years of Good Q.arma altered esthetics / LUMNU BRONZE BRASS / Logan Park
http://actionathena.com/2011/04/29/seven-years-of-good-q-arma/
Your Comic Here Athena: My cherished friends and countrymen: the time has come---for GUEST STRIPS! / You can make it about whatever you want---a parody of Action Athena, an autobio strip about YOU...or something else entirely. / You don't have to be funny, or good at drawing. Just make something! And email it to me by WEDNESDAY JUNE 1st. / As long as it's not completely offensive or libelous, I'll put it on the site! / Athena: If I get enough of these things...I won't ever have to come back!
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/02/your-comic-here/
Real Hippies Sip Customer: Oh, you've got a new one! / Gretchen: Yep. This is Athena. / Sip Customer: Athena, huh? Are you Greek? / Athena: Nah, my parents are just hippies. / Sip Customer: REAL hippies? Because I was a hippie myself once. So I take that word seriously. / Athena: Well, they met in Madison, at a food Co-op. Then they moved here and lived in Seward for awhile. / Sip Customer: Ah! Madison! Seward! / Athena: My dad worked at the New Riverside Cafe for some time. / Sip Customer: NEW RIVERSIDE CAFE? I worked there in its earliest years! / Sip Customer: Okay. They were probably hippies.
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/04/real-hippies/
 
It's a Fixie [[Jason and Athena are walking down the street.]] / Jason [[spotting a child's plastic three-wheeler on the ground]]: ! / Jason: Free bike. / [[Athena looks at it.]] / Athena: snort. / Jason: It's a fixie.
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/06/its-a-fixie/
The Night Jason's Kitchen Ceiling Fell Down SATURDAY APRIL 30, 2011. 11:48pm. / [[Jason and Athena read a book in bed and laugh.]] / Athena: yawwn / Jason: Yeah, I'm tired too. Just lemme brush my teeth, then we can sleep! / Jason [[off panel]]: @$*%!!! / Jason: Um. Please come look at my kitchen. / [[There is a giant crack in the ceiling.]] / Athena: What the-- / Athena: Jesus! That's not gonna hold much longer. / Jason: Nope. / Jason: Sigh...I should call my landlord. Man, I've told them about that water leak TWICE. The first time was in October! / Jason: It's geting worse and worse, but they keep shrugging it off. The house is literally gonna fall apart! This is what happens when one stupid company owns a million properties... / [[Athena climbs into bed while Jason leaves a very stern message.]] / [[Jason climbs into bed.]] / Athena: So...between this and the crying baby upstairs...maybe you shouldn't live here again next year? / Jason: Yeah, I know. Sigh. I was really looking forward to living in one place for more than a year. / Athena: Also...you should wear your bike helmet whenever you use that kitchen. / Jason: ha ha / THUD! / Athena: Let's go to my place.
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/09/the-night-jasons-kitchen-ceiling-fell-down/
The Noble Salted Nut Roll Jason: Ooh! There are Reese's in the Easter basket your mom gave me! / Athena: Hell yes! Is that your favorite candy? / Jason: Mmm, it's up there, but my favorite candy is, without question, the Salted Nut Roll. / Athena: Ha ha! Weird! / Jason: Weird? / Athena: I just--I don't think many people would say that's their FAVORITE. / [[Jason thinks.]] / Jason: Have those people HAD a Salted Nut Roll?
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/11/the-noble-salted-nut-roll/
B-I-N-G-O Athena: You're having a bunch of your siblings over for dinner? What inspired that? / Sarah Currier: Your Aunt Virginia and I have decided that our family is no fun and we need to MAKE them be fun. We're going to play Bingo and give away prizes! / Ross Currier: Because nothing is more fun... / Ross Currier: siiiip / Ross Currier: ...than Bingo. / Sarah Currier: Oh ROSS! / Ross Currier: What's a five-letter word for fun? BINGO!
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/13/b-i-n-g-o/
Weighing and Counting I recently applied for a job with Milkweed editions*, and I didn't get it. / * awesome Mpls publishing company / I've applied to around 50 jobs since graduating from college, but my application to Milkweed was the first one I put real "OOMPH" into. / Athena: I haven't felt like this since I sent my application to the Center for Cartoon Studies! / It's okay that I didn't get it--I mean, that's how it goes. But the circumstances are kinda depressing: / Form Email Rejection: We received hundreds of applications and were only able ti interview just a half-dozen. / This is a rough. economy. When I was sending out resumes this winter, I felt like I might just as well be throwing them off the Hennepin Bridge. / And myself too, as long as I was at it. / I felt so guilty when I quit Uncommon Grounds: much as I hated the place, I was terrified that that $6.25/hour barista gig was the only job I could get. / SELF-LOATHING. Orgasmic chai. / Plus, quitting (and temporarily living off my meager savings) meant taking who-knew-how-much-longer to pay off my college loan. / (And y'all know how obsessed I am with THAT.) / But sometimes you've gotta make the tough decisions. Ultimately I quit. / Getting hired at Sip was a godsend. / Yes, it's another barista gig...but I'm SO much happier here. / I feel good about myself in that place, in that neighborhood. / More generally, I feel good about being employed, and paying my loan, and supporting myself. / There are still hard parts, when I momentarily face those Possible Ultimate Truths. / Athena: Maybe I will never get a non-barista job. / Athena: Maybe I'm a lousy cartoonist and artist. Maybe I'm a whiny pervert slacker, unfit for any legit job, community, or life path. / Athena: At least there's free coffee.
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/16/weighing-and-counting/
 
Don't Dump On Northeast Citizens of Northeast, you are being BAMBOOZLED! / OLD DUMP: South Minneapolis "Waste Transfer Station" / NEW DUMP: Northeast Minneapolis "Recycling Center" / a DUMP is a DUMP is a DUMP. / For more information/to get involved, visit DDONE.org. (DDONE: Don't Dump on Northeast.)
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/18/dont-dump-on-northeast/
READ, RE-READ, RE-TWEET citizens of Northeast, you are being BAMBOOZLED! / A couple of Minneapolis' bamboozlin' bureaucrats: / Skunk: Geez Mr. Bammer, now that we can't put it in South Minneapolis, how are we ever gonna find a place for that waste transfer station? / Mr. Bammer [[a rat]]: Simple! Move it to Northeast... / Mr. Bammer: ...and call it a Recycling Center! / Skunk: Won't the citizens of Northeast see through that? / Mr. Bammer: No, they'll be too afraid that speaking out against a "Recycling Center" would seem politically incorrect. he heh heh / Skunk: Brilliant! / Mr. Bammer: And the best part is, once we get away with changing the zoning for THIS project, allowing us to stick a dump 10 feet from people's houses, we'll have license to do all KINDS of things... / Mr. Bammer: Is YOUR neighborhood next? / Skunk: Uh oh---do you think that lady's watching us? / Mr. Bammer: Doesn't matter, she's blind. / The Blind Lady: I may be blind, but I can smell a rat! Visit DDONE.org to learn more! / [[She is holding a sign that reads, "Don't Dump On Northeast."]] / a DUMP is a DUMP is a DUMP. / For more information/to get involved, visit DDONE.org. (DDONE: Don't Dump on Northeast.)
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/20/read-re-read-re-tweet/
Four Now Five Athena: Here, you can help me put the stickers on the rice krispy bars. See, they say, "rice krispy bar." / (My boss' daughter came to work for awhile last Wednesday.) / Boss' Daughter: You know...sigh. I can't read. / Athena: Oh, that's okay! You'll learn when you're older. How old are you? / Boss' Daughter: I'm five. / Boss' Daughter: I used to be four, but now I'm five.
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/23/four-now-five/
Mayfly at the Cow (Haning out with Dad and Norman Butler, British owner of Northfield's British pub, The Contented Cow, before the New Moon Trio gig on Thursday.) / Norman Butler: Oh, y'know, the world's going to end! / Ross Currier: Oh yeah! This weekend! / Norman Butler: Six o'clock! / Julie Bixby: Then why am I picking up these cigarette butts? / (Hanging out with Mom and her Bad Girl Friends after signing with Dad's band.) / (Me, Mom, Wendy S., Kath) / The mayor of Northfield: LOOK at this table! That is just TROUBLE! / Wendy S.: So Athena, you think you're gonna stick around Minnesota? / Athena: Yeah, pretty much! / Kath: I remember when I first moved back to Northfield, I was just FREAKING OUT about it. It was your mom who calmed me down. She said, "GET OVER IT. So you're living in your hometown. EMBRACE it." And I did. / Kath: And then your dad came up and he was like, "WATCH THIS." And he gave Phoebe a handful of blueberries, and she just SHOVELED them into her mouth! / Sarah Currier: I remember that! You were really pregnant with Sofie, and you were nervous about parenting. Ross and I were like, "Nah, watch this, it's fun." / My Aunt Ellen's Brother John: Psh! You guys! Up to no good! And you're teaching her your ways! You're all trouble! / Kath: One time John was driving me somewhere, and I made him so mad he started speeding and got pulled over!
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/25/mayfly-at-the-cow/
On (Not) Writing A Hampshire Book [[Cellphone goes bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz.]] / Mullens: Hey Max. / Max: Bow chicka bow wow! / Mullens: What. / Max: I'm not sure what time it is here in California, but I hear that back in Massachusetts, it's SEXY time. / Mullens: What. / Max: I hear that SOMEBODY is gonna get it one with SHANE PETERS, huh? Huh? / Mullens: What are you talking about. / Max: Oh, nothing, it's just, I hear he's been hanging around the house a lot, while I've been gone. Like, every night this week? / Mullens: Um, yea, he's been coming over a lot, but there's nothing exciting about it. He just drinks Wild Turkey and tries to make me uncomfortable. Actually, last night got really uncomfortable. / Max: Uh huh, sure, sure. Gonna GET YER BONE ON, MULLENS! / Mullens: ... / Mullens: Um, no, I'm not. Look, I've gotta get dressed for this Homecoming Dance thing at the Amherst dorm. / Max: At SHANE'S dorm? / Mullens: Yes. At Shane's dorm. / Max: Have funnnnn, Mullens! / Mullens: Bye, Max. / Lucy: Was that Max? / Mullens: Yeah, he was being totally obnoxious. He was teasing me that I'm gonna hook up with Shane Peters. / Lucy: Oh my god! He literally JUST called me and asked me about that. Right before he called you, I guess. And he was being so annoying about it that I basically hung up on him. / Mullens: HA! I love you, Lucy.
http://actionathena.com/2011/05/30/on-not-writing-a-hampshire-book/
 
Dear Sister Did you think the art in Pepper Ann was really ugly? I always thought so. And also that her voice was obnoxious. Those two things made it harder for me to like the show. I remember that I liked the art in Doug okay, but thought the art in Sabrina was super cheesy (and kinda slutty). But Recess had good art, except that they always drew everything to look dirty. Like the playground equipment and stuff. But god, Recess was so good. / five hours of summer, once a week! five hours of summer is what we need! / One Saturday Morning abc / well ahoy there sailor! can you do the otter dance?
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/01/dear-sister/
Take the Money and Run Athena: Now GIT! / [[The Hampshire College Hippie Mama clutches the last of Athena's college loan money.]] / Today I paid off the last of my college loan.
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/03/take-the-money-and-run/
Old Comic From High School Cameo: It was a night like any other... / Cameo: I found myself walking in an unkempt part of town... Suddenly I realized I had stumbled into a cheap film noir... / Cameo: The man in the dark hat knew my name. / Cameo: You're the dame I've been looking for, he said. / Cameo: I followed. / Cameo: We went down steadily narrowing alleys, into the heart of the BAD neighborhoods. / Cameo: This is it, he told me, with a wink oozing charm. All I could see was city... / Cameo: And sky. / Cameo: Sigh... / Cameo: This is where I pushed my ex-wife off the ledge, he said.
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/06/old-comic-from-high-school/
Whatever That Means Target. The Quarry. Sunday June 5, 2011. / Jason: Um, Athena, there's a big sale on this deodorant, and you said you needed some... / Shopper: heh heh / Shopper: Ha ha! I was just telling him, I saw YOU over there, and I saw HIM over there... / Shopper: ...and I just KNEW you two were together! So, y'know...whatever that means! / Athena: Ha ha! Thanks?
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/08/whatever-that-means/
All I Wanna Do Is Drink Beer And Listen To Weezer I'm on the rag right now, which, I've learned by this point in my life, is a time to take my feelings with a grain of salt. / Athena: GOD, I just feel SO fed up with...SOMETHING. / It's a time when every last nagging fear can become GROSSLY amplified. / Athena:A year out of college and I'm still a barista. Where are my comics going? I'm so ugly and unlikeable. All of my relationships are falling apart. / I don't think there's any real SOLUTION to this crap, but taking a meditative approach seems to help. / Athena: This too shall pass. I can choose not to react to these feelings. / Yesterday I chose not to dwell on cramps and bloating. I went for a 7 mile run, and reveled in the 70 degree weather and my strong, happy legs. / I also went to the free intro class at Uppercut Boxing. That place is the SHIT. Straight out of Million Dollar Baby, which makes sense given that the owner, Lisa Bauch, trained Hilary Swank for her role in that movie. / Today I didn't have work, so I ran 13.1 miles. Yes, correct: a half-marathon. I kept a steady, comfortable pace, and enjoyed myself the whole time. / And now I am drinking a beer, and enjoying my alone time. / "But Athena," you ask, "Why fill all these panels with pointless blather about running and menstruation?" / Athena: The thing is...I might be getting tired of doing this autobio webcomic.
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/10/all-i-wanna-do-is-drink-beer-and-listen-to-weezer/
 
Guest Strip: Tori Holder Tori: Hey! Action Athena is taking submissions for guest strips?! I'm so going to do one! / Tori: After all, she's one of my go-to "waste time reading webcomics" sites / [[Clock shows time she should've been working. She holds missing pages of research paper that made it make sense.]] / Tori: But what to draw? I mean, drawing your own strips isn't that hard, yet when it's for someone else, it just has to be so much better! / Tori [[opening up storage boxes and pirate treasure]]: Ugh. Better pull out all the stops! / [[Tada! She has pulled together a bizarre and hilarious pile of odds and ends.]] / Tori: okay...ALL the stops was a bit much.
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/13/guest-strip-tori-holder/
Guest Strip: Rebecca Fofonoff [[An overwhelmed pre-grad Rebecca sits at a desk surrounded by stack after stack of books.]] / [[A happy cap-and-gown-clad Rebecca graduates from college.]] / [[A post-grad Rebecca takes her paycheck straight to a used book shop.]] / [[An overwhelmed post-grad Rebecca is once again surrounded by mountains of books.]]
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/15/guest-strip-rebecca-fofonoff/
Guest Strip: Sarah Goldfeather Sarah Goldfeather: I like to make puns. / Sarah Goldfeather: I don't know exactly when or why I started making puns... / Jack Goldfeather: Now repeat after me: owa...togoo...siam. / Sarah Goldfeather: Oh what a goose I am! / Jack Goldfeather: It was a 4-gon conclusion! / Jack Goldfeather: He was a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis! / Sarah Goldfeather: ...it might run in the the family. / Sarah Goldfeather: Regardless---it has become my favorite past time. / Sarah Goldfeather: Athena once told me that I react more to the sounds of words than their meanings... / Sarah Goldfeather: This song is about EATING PEOPLE?! / Sarah Goldfeather: ...which may explain why I never know what even my favorite songs are about. / Sarah Goldfeather: If you are talking to me, I am subconsciously playing on your words. / Sarah Goldfeather: Sometimes puns will fly... / Cheese? / No thanks, I HAVARTI had some! / EDAMmit, you just BLEU my mind! / I CAMEMBERTly stand it! / It's part of my KRAFT to OAXACA poetic! / The cheese stands PROVOLONE on this one! / You're getting CHEDDAR---you're is EXTRA-SHARP! / This is FONDUE-do! / Sarah Goldfeather: ...and sometimes they flop. / ...so Medusa prefers GORGONZOLA...get it? / Yeah, you heard about Al Capone's brother, MASCARPONE? / It isn't aged cheese, it's from the FONTINA of youth. / Gee, you look EMMENTALER today. / Man, RICOTTA think these through. / Sarah Goldfeather: Sometimes I even make myself cringe. / Sarah Goldfeather: So far I haven't found any higher purpose for making puns, but I think I'll just keep making them anyway.
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/17/guest-strip-sarah-goldfeather/
Guest Strip: Sarah Currier Sarah Currier: Yes! I have everything ready for my lesson! / [[Giant number line, fraction circles, bags of good junk.]] / After recess... / Erick: Mrs Currier, Mrs. Currier! Abdi called me the B word! / Sarah Currier: ?? / [[Sarah thinks about her fraction circle, then Abdi's sad face.]] / At the circle meeting... / Sarah Currier: So let me see if I have this right... / Sarah Currier: When Abdi said, "Tie my shoe!" you thought he was bossing you. / Erick: Yeah. / Sarah Currier: But he needed help, because he didn't know how to tie shoes, and didn't know the words to ask? / Abdi: Yeah. / Sarah Currier: So Abdi, when Erick said, "No!" you didn't know why, so you asked Hamze? / Sarah Currier: Erick, when Hamze and Abdi were speaking in Somali, you thought they were mad? / Erick: er... / Montana: Yeah...it sounded mean! / Sarah Currier: And then when you two left, Abdi was confused... / [[Lightbulbs appear over the students' head.]] / Later... / Sarah Currier: So Abdi...Erick really wasn't mad... / Sarah Currier: And Erick, you're will to teach Abdi to tie shoes? / Erick: Yup! / Sarah Currier: Sometimes the lesson you plan isn't the lesson you need to teach... / Sarah Currier: Duh...
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/20/guest-strip-sarah-currier/
Guest Strip: Ross Currier LIBERTARIAN KAFFEEKLATSCH AT GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY / Guy #1: Sure am glad that my kid doesn't do a webcomic. / Guy #2: Heh Heh Heh... / Guy #3: Huh? / Guy #2: Ross' daughter Athena has a blog called "Action Athena." / [[Ross arrives]] / Guy #1: What do you think, "Tits"?
http://actionathena.com/2011/06/22/guest-strip-ross-currier/
 

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