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| Christmas With The Curriers | PHOEBE IS HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!
/ (and I'm in Northfield for the night.) / She's looking particularly chic--good glasses, good hair, etc. / Sarah Currier: So now that they're married, they're changing their last name to "Catcastle"! / Phoebe Currier: Oh man, I have to read you guys this girl's blog, it's so bad.
/ Athena Currier: Seriously, you could do stand-up, just reading this! / Sarah Currier: And when he was getting ready to leave, she said, "Robert, do you think you should use the bathroom before you go?"
/ Athena: WHAT! He's a grown man!! / Sarah Currier: Okay, everyone try to look nice. ROSS! http://actionathena.com/2011/12/19/christmas-with-the-curriers/ |
| Endless! | Athena: It's really hard to make comics right now. / Athena: I feel like an 80-year-old: SO little strength and energy. And I have no idea what's wrong! / Athena: It's been going on long enough that I'm having difficulty believing I'm going to get over it. / Athena: I'm TERRIFIED that I will NEVER feel like MYSELF again. / Athena: All day long in my head I'm going, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BODY?!?!" / Athena: I'm just all out of punchlines. http://actionathena.com/2011/12/21/endless/ |
| Abominable | WILL I EVER RUN AGAIN? / Athena: Lymes disease? Celiacs? Vitamin deficiency? Recently developed food allergy? / Athena: Fuck it, it's the holidays. Try to turn your worries off for a few days, Currier. / Athena: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS is my health! http://actionathena.com/2011/12/23/abominable/ |
| Normal Boob Shirt | The Night Before Christmas Eve, 2011. (Jason and I stayed at my parents' house in Northfield.) / Jason: Mmm... You look good in this shirt. / Jason: It...kinda makes your boobs look big. / Jason: I mean--not like, WEIRD big! Just, like, normal. / [[A pause. He realizes what he's said.]] / Jason: I mean! Guhhh... http://actionathena.com/2011/12/26/normal-boob-shirt/ |
| Jazz On Christmas | Saturday, December 17. Party Mix Making Party At Jason's Parents' House In Hudson. / Jason's Mom: Do you guys want to listen to some Christmas music? / Jason: Nnngh...as long as it's not "Jazz on Christmas."
/ Jason's Mom: What! Why! / Jason: Mom. When I was in high school, you started playing that CD every NOVEMBER. And you'd play it like, EVERY DAY till Christmas. / Jason: One year, I finally HID it, before the season started, so you'd forget about it. / Jason's Mom: JASON! Well, I have it right here now. / [["Jazz On Christmas" plays in the background while Jason scowls and his Mom smiles gleefully.]] http://actionathena.com/2011/12/28/jazz-on-christmas/ |
| Traveler Falls | Sarah Currier: Oh, hi Traveler! / [[Traveler holds out his paws to hold Sarah's hands, but loses his balances and awkwardly FALLS OVER.]] / Sarah Currier: !! http://actionathena.com/2011/12/30/traveler-falls/ |
| Refreshing Melodrama | The last night Goldfeather was in town, I hung out with her and a bunch of high school friends at the Cow. / We ended up talking for a long time with this guy I used to date. I hadn't really talked to him in about a year and a half. / He can be overwhelmingly flippant and sarcastic. I kinda figured he thought I was foolish and ditzy. But it turns out maybe we're cool.
/ Ex: I still read your comic. / Strangely, he seemed more aware and sympathetic of my health problems than almost anyone!
/ Ex: It sounds like the worst. I would kill myself!
/ Athena: HA! / I think we were both fairly melodramatic during the brief time we dated. Too much melodrama is obnoxious, but a small dose every now and then can be oddly refreshing.
/ Athena [[thinking]]: I really needed to hear that! http://actionathena.com/2012/01/02/refreshing-melodrama/ |
| Better Follow Through | I've been having LOTS of dreams about RUNNING and SICKNESS. / Recently, I dreamed that I told Jason,
/ Athena: If I ever get over this sickness...I'm going to get A CATHARTIC HAIRCUT! / The next day I was all,
/ Athena: Ha! I just realized I had a dream where I told you I was gonna cut my hair if I ever get well! / He said,
/ Jason: Well...you dreamed it! You'd better follow through! / Guess we'll just have to wait and see now, won't we? http://actionathena.com/2012/01/04/better-follow-through/ |
| Tattoos and Marriages | I was thinking about how getting a tattoo too young/for the wrong reasons is sort of like getting MARRIED too young/for the wrong reasons. / Both are about trying to define something essential and eternal about yourself.
/ People: THIS is who I am. / It's about trying to pin down something important, before you get old and lose sight of it.
/ People: I will NEVER forget what it feels like to be young. / And it's often about sending a big FUCK YOU to your parents.
/ People: YOU DON'T CONTROL ME ANYMORE! / Both tattoos and marriages can be great--but if done for the wrong reasons...they're a total disaster.
/ People: What was I THINKING?? http://actionathena.com/2012/01/06/tattoos-and-marriages/ |
| Dixie Dream | Last week I had a dream where I was taking a bath... / ...when I suddenly realized that Dixie had crawled in and was sleeping under my legs.
/ Athena: Oh no! Dixie, you'll drown! / When I pulled her out, she wasn't breathing. I hurried to the vet. In the vet's hand, she looked just like the runt in 101 Dalmations. / The vet gave her an oxygen tube. Dixie's eyes opened and she began greedily sucking for air. / I was SO glad I hadn't accidentally killed her! http://actionathena.com/2012/01/11/dixie-dream/ |
| Guys Who Wear Glasses | SUNDAY MORNING. JANUARY 8, 2012 / Jason: I should get another pair of glasses from that website.
/ Athena: Oh yeah?
/ Jason: Yeah, like a more normal, everyday pair. / Jason: Leopard print ones. With flames on the sides.
/ Athena: ha ha / Athena: Wait, did you say rhinestones on the sides?
/ Jason: No, flames. / Jason: They could be flames MADE of rhinestones. http://actionathena.com/2012/01/13/guys-who-wear-glasses/ |
| The Purple People Reader | Thursday, January 5, 2012. Midnight Outside the Yacht Club. / Dan Murphy: Remember the comic we did back in high school?
/ Danno Klonowski: Bartman? Of course! It was a blatant rip off of The Simpsons. / Danno Klonowski: The baby's name was "Suckin." Her speech bubbles just said "suck suck suck suck suck." / Dan Murphy: We had a contest where people could vote on which character to kill. The back cover had a picture of the baby and the word "suck" in giant letters. / Dan Murphy: They called us down to the principal's office for that, and made us tear off all the back covers.
/ Danno Klonowski: Which meant the last page was gone, so it didn't make sense. / Dan Murphy: The school magazine was called "The Purple People Reader." It was so dumb. / Danno Klonowski: I've still got some copies of that issue lying around somewhere. http://actionathena.com/2012/01/16/the-purple-people-reader/ |
| Pen Tape | At a recent Cartoonist Jam, Ryan Dow told me:
/ Ryan Dow: I'm becoming one of those cartoonists I hate: I'm getting very PARTICULAR about art supplies. / Ryan Dow: I've started putting bands of tape on certain pens, so I'll know which ones are newer, and which tips are blunter and which are finer. / Athena: Goddamn you, Ryan Dow: now I'm doing this too! / Athena[[ashamed]]: AND I LOVE IT. http://actionathena.com/2012/01/18/pen-tape/ |
| Like Hitler | I've got sort of sharp features and a serious expression. Most people assume I'm older than I am.
/ Jason: Yeah, I figured you were at least 25! / I don't mind, mostly. I'd rather be taken seriously than presumed a ditz. Also, this face helped me get some real neat roles in high school theater.
/ Mary Warren in the Crucible, Mrs. Sowerberry in Oliver!, the Goose in Charlotte's Web. / While I was in Berlin, these two Brazilian guys from my language school moved in with a girl in my program. / Shortly after, one of them approached me and said,
/ Brazilian Dude: I saw some photos of you on Facebook--I didn't know you could smile! / Brazilian Dude: At school you are always so serious...like Hitler!
/ He went on to say he'd assumed I was at least 30. I was 20 at the time! http://actionathena.com/2012/01/20/like-hitler/ |
| Based On | "BASED ON"
/ RECORDED IN THE LIVING ROOM OF MOD 71. FALL 2007. / Ben: "Fever Pitch" is based on a book by Nick Hornby? I can't believe the Farrelly brothers based something on a book. / Sam: Well, they changed it around a whole lot.
/ Flanagan: It used to take place in space, during the Civil War. / Sam: That was also the original plot for, uh, "Top Gun."
/ Flanagan: It's true, they used the same book. You can't adapt that to screen! / Sam: Ha, "Top Gun" was also based on "Fever Pitch" by Nick Hornby. / Doyle: So was, uh, "Buckaroo Bonzai Across The--"
/ Sam: No. / Sam: That was based on "On Dreams," by Sigmund Freud. / Sam: And "Pride and Prejudice," the one with Keira Knightly? That was based on "Sense and Sensibility."
/ Flanagan: Ah!
/ Sam: Yeah. / Doyle: Interestingly, the movie "Sense and Sensibility" was based on "Pride and Prejudice."
/ Sam: No, it was based on "Little Women." / Flanagan: Huh, what was "Little Women" based on? / Sam: "Little Men." / Flanagan: Huh. What was "Little Men" based on? / Sam: "Little Big Man." / Flanagan: What was "Little Big Man" based on? Wait--was that a book? / Sam: I don't know.
/ Doyle: "Batman Year One." / Flanagan: "Little Big Man" was based on "Batman Year One?" / Sam: Which, of course, was based on--
/ Flanagan: Wait, that doesn't make any sense, it came out BEFORE "Batman Year One!" / Doyle: No, it didn't.
/ Sam: Not necessarily. Did it come out in year one? / Flanagan: What?
/ Sam: Did it come out in year one? / Flanagan: Like, like 1, A.D.?
/ Sam: Yeah.
/ Flanagan: I don't think it did. / Sam: Then it couldn't have come out before "Batman Year One." Of course, "Batman year One" is based on what's written on the Rosetta Stone. / Doyle: The Rosetta Stone is about a boy, though.
/ Sam: Yeah. / Flanagan: Wait--
/ Doyle: It's ABOUT a boy. / Flanagan: Oh, wait, wait--it's based on the book?
/ Doyle: No, the Rosetta Stone is ABOUT a boy! / Sam: And "About A Boy" is basically someone adapting the text of the constitution to film. / Flanagan: Wow! What about "Constitution: The Movie"? / Doyle: Oh, that's based off a TGF--
/ Sam: It's based off the original working screenplay for the movie "Stealth." / Flanagan: Oh! Ha ha ha! Wow, I didn't know all this stuff about the movies. / [[Pause.]] / Sam: "Casablanca" was based on "Where's Waldo." / Flanagan: Hahahahahahaha! / Sam: And "Where's Waldo" was based on-- / Flanagan: Hahahahahaha! / Ben: Wow...he LIKED that one. / Doyle: THAT'S the one that got you? / Flanagan: Yeah, because, because, just imagine, it's 'cause there's no words, really, just, just the pictures-- / Sam: It's like, just imagine that poster, but somewhere in the back, in the trees...is WALDO. / Sam: It's like, imagine the creators going, like, "All right, let's put Waldo in a different setting, let's put him in..." / Sam: "Casablanca! Morocco, in the war!" / Flanagan: Hahahahahahahaha! / Sam: Flanagan, you gotta stop laughing. It wasn't that funny. / Flanagan: Hahahahahaha / Flanagan: haha...SIGH. / Flanagan: Oh, I love that one. http://actionathena.com/2012/01/23/based-on/ |
| Covered In Jam | Sam: What do you guys wanna do tonight? Wanna watch a movie?
/ Flanagan: I wanna watch... / Doyle: I feel antsy, I really wanna go out and do something.
/ Flanagan: ...bears...fighting over... / Doyle: But I wanna stay sober.
/ Flanagan: ...a... / Sam: You're gonna have to. So what do you have in mind, Mike?
/ Flanagan: ...Xbox 360... / Doyle: I have no idea.
/ Flanagan: ...covered...in jam. http://actionathena.com/2012/01/25/covered-in-jam/ |
| Watching The Simpsons | WATCHING THE SIMPSONS
/ [[A girl enters. She stares at a boy in a chair.]]
/ Girl: hiii
/ Boy: hey / Girl: I've never seen this show. It looks stupid. / Girl: I mean, this is why I don't watch TV. It...it traps me, because I'm not used to it, but...it's terrible.
/ [[Boy loves the Simpsons.]] / Girl: I watch Grey's Anatomy.
/ Boy: That's awful. / Girl: I know, that's why I don't watch TV. I mean, I've never watched TV, so it just...sucks me in. / Boy: But you just said you have watched it.
/ Girl: I should go... / Girl: No, there are people...watching TV. I don't want to interrupt them... / Girl and Boy: byyyyyyyye / Athena: What a cunt. What a fucking cunt.
/ Female Housemate: gasp! / Female Housemate: I agree. http://actionathena.com/2012/01/27/watching-the-simpsons/ |
| Five Months | Athena: So, I've been sick for five months now. There've been a few brief respites, but basically: FIVE MONTHS. / Athena: Symptoms are all over: HEADACHES, sore ears and throat, sneezing, upset stomach... But ABOVE ALL... / Athena: EXTREME, RELENTLESS FATIGUE and WEAK, ACHEY MUSCLES / Athena: It's best in the mornings; worst in the afternoons. Pretty much every day I wake up thinking, "Hey--MAYBE I'M GETTING BETTER!" / Athena: ...But by the afternoon I feel like shit. There's also occasional nausea, and some...intestinal stuff. / Athena: And, bizarrely, even though I'm no longer running (hell, moving AT ALL) I've LOST 7 lbs. Standing less than 5'3", that ain't nothing. / Athena: I've NEVER been a person who just loses weight without trying. When I'm upset, I generally eat crap and GAIN weight. / Athena: BLUH. I have no idea what that might mean, I'm just grasping at straws. I'm so scared that no one's ever gonna figure out what's wrong. / Athena: I feel like I'm watching my life fly away from me...but all I wanna do is keep sleeping. http://actionathena.com/2012/01/30/five-months/ |
| RIP Le Sabre | Oh RIGHT, so I got in a CAR CRASH the other day. / I'd been in Northfield the night before for this:
/ Nurse Practitioner whom I LOVE: Alll right! That diaphragm'll fit great! / After that I had dinner with my parents, and then thought:
/ Athena: I'll spend the night here and drive up to work in the morning. That'll be safer. / Unfortunately, the next morning:
/ Ross Currier: Watch out, Athena: they say the roads are COVERED in black ice. / Thus:
/ Athena: Okay...I'm taking it slow...it's not TOO bad... / But then:
/ Athena: Oh SHIT, they're all breaking!!
/ (My breaks = suddenly useless) / Athena: MAYBE I CAN SWITCH TO THE OTHER LANE!! / However:
/ SPINNN and then CRASH / I came out okay. / But the Le Sabre didn't.
/ RIP Buick Le Sabre 2000 tan http://actionathena.com/2012/02/03/rip-le-sabre/ |
| The Le Sabre Lives! | The Le Sabre lives! http://actionathena.com/2012/02/08/the-le-sabre-lives/ |
| St Paul Saturdays | Last weekend was the second in a row that Jason and I spent entirely in my neighborhood. / On Saturday we made amazing breakfast burritos... / ...walked to the library, Uncle Sven's Comic Shoppe, and ended up at The Groveland Tap happy hour. / Then we hopped on the bus to get to Half Price Books in Highland Park... / ...then back to my place where I made him watch Showgirls! http://actionathena.com/2012/02/10/st-paul-saturdays/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://actionathena.com/2012/02/13/of-sickness-and-attitude/?preview=true">http://actionathena.com/2012/02/13/of-sickness-and-attitude/?preview=true | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Back on the Bus | I'm not glad I crashed the Le Sabre, but I am glad to be riding the bus again. I forgot how much I love riding buses. / It gives me this calm, womb-like "everything's-gonna-be-okay" feeling. Even if those I'm riding with are less than ideal, I love knowing that, for the duration of that bus ride, I am not responsible for the direction, destination, or how fast we get there. / It's as if, for a little while, I can take off this heavy backpack I'm carrying...and just SIT STILL.
/ Athena: siggghhhh / In this Tom Wolfe book [[I Am Charlotte Simmons]] I just finished, there's a part where the protagonist--who at this point is very depressed--is on a long bus ride. This passage made me pause: / The depressed person wants trips to be literally endless, because as long as she is in transit from one point to another, her worries, her despair, are removed from where they originated...and where they will inevitably resume. Under the circumstances, what could be better than being in a soft reclining chair in a spaceship with strangers, a spaceship in that it moves fast and makes you feel detached from the earth (way up here in this chair), as you behold, from behind big sheets of thick plate glass so darkly tinted that no one outside can even see you, blissfully alien landscapes drifting by... / That passage was one of many problems I had with that book.
/ Athena: Oh come ON, Tom Wolfe. You're such a buzz kill. http://actionathena.com/2012/02/15/back-on-the-bus/ |
| Bad Cartoonist Night | Bad Cartoonist Night at the Bad Waitress / 2 East 26th St Minneapolis, MN / Comic trivia with Prizes! / Monday, February 27, 8-11pm / Food & drink specials! / Tabletop drawing stations! / And your handsome host, Danno Klonowski! http://actionathena.com/2012/02/17/bad-cartoonist-night/ |
| Answers and Allergy Tests | THE ANSWER TO ALL MY PROBLEMS????? / Last Tuesday I went in for an allergy test. [[Bandana Square]] / After discussing my health problems with the allergist, the nurse came in to test me for all sorts of potential allergens. She wrote rows of numbers on my back, and then poked me with a different allergen by each number. / Russian Nurse: The test is 15 minutes. I will come back halfway to see how you look. DO NOT MOVE! / 7 1/2 minutes later...
/ Nurse: Well! There are definitely some results!
/ [[Raised, unhappy skin]] / 7 1/2 minutes after that...
/ Nurse: And THAT one... and THAT one...
/ She held the clipboard on my butt to write down the results. / Then the doctor came back to discuss my results and a treatment plan.
/ Doctor: You are QUITE allergic to DUST MITES, and certain MOLDS. And also some trees. / I shared my hypotheses.
/ Athena: Yeah, my boyfriend's place is owned by a slumlord...last spring the kitchen ceiling fell down 'cause of a water leak and was never fully repaired...
/ Doctor: DON'T GO THERE! / I learned a lot about the medications I'll be taking.
/ Doctor: Put the baby bottle nipple on the inhaler, and then stick it in your nose. / I left feeling like I'd just had my life handed back to me. / Of course, the next few days I was exhausted. Here's hoping those meds kick in soon!
/ Athena: sniff! http://actionathena.com/2012/02/20/answers-and-allergy-tests/ |
| The Shit Hitteth The Fan | 10/5/10 / Call Dad, Stephanie, Anna, Mom / --> Don't call Paul about Stephanie & Jack / Spanish test tomorrow; flash cards, grammar. / Re-read articles to practice comprehension. http://actionathena.com/2012/02/22/the-shit-hitteth-the-fan/ |
| Here We Go | Ross Currier: So Athena, do you know what a "queef" is? / Athena: Um...yes. / Athena: Why? / Ross Currier: Well, there's a Carleton band that's been playing regularly at the Cow, and they're called "The Prom Queefs." Every time they've had a gig, I've mentioned it on the town blog. / Ross Currier: And today I finally thought, "Huh, I wonder what 'queef' means. I'll look it up. / Ross Currier: So I did. http://actionathena.com/2012/02/24/here-we-go/ |
| We'lll Be Right Back After This Short Break | Athena [[with a cathartic haircut]]: HEY GUYS! I'm taking a short break from Action Athena. I will be back soon, I PROMISE. I've just gotta step back for a bit. I love y'all, and I LOVE this comic. So I'll see you again soon. But I ain't settin' no deadlines! Sorry! Ha! http://actionathena.com/2012/02/29/well-be-right-back-after-this-short-break/ |
| Annus Horribilis | Annus horribilis*
/ *horrible year / I'm not talking about strict calendar years, I'm talking about the last 12 months.) / Monday March 5, 2012 / This evening I went on a five mile run. / Six months ago, that wouldn't have been significant. But six months ago, I became sick. / Jason said he read somewhere that, for people who exercise a lot, being forced to give up their physical activity can be as difficult and painful as going through drug withdrawal. / I'm sure he and the rest of my loved ones have had a grand old time dealing with Athena In Running Withdrawal. / But I'm back now. I still can't totally believe it, but here I am. It feels wonderful. / The past twelve months have been difficult. It caught me off guard: I thought the first post-college year to be the most difficult. But this second one has been much harder. / Last March my boyfriend had a glaucoma scare. / Just before that, a young man from my high school graduating class died in a skiing accident. / In the months to follow, there were five more deaths, all young men I'd known from Northfield High School. All of them died in sudden ways. / In the fall and winter, a number of my friends faced other deaths within their families. / Though my closest loved ones and I were spared, the sheer volume of these deaths left me shaken. It seemed only a matter of time before I would be struck more personally. / I'd think about that young skier during my runs, particularly when darting across a busy street, too eager and impatient to be cautious about traffic. / How cautious should one be? When do common sense and safety become something more compulsive, a fear and anxiety that can take over one's entire world? / And then in August I got fired from my job at a coffee shop. / Maybe it wasn?t personal. Maybe I just picked the wrong day to accidentally leave a fridge open. Or maybe they were looking for an excuse to fire me. I?ll never know. / Getting fired meant backing out of the one-bedroom apartment I'd just agreed to take, and spending a few weeks at my parents' frantically applying to jobs. / One of those job interviews dragged on, literally, for months. It made me crazy, living for so long in that state of not knowing. I ultimately didn?t get the job. / And then in August I got sick. / Throughout all the other ups and downs, running had been my one constant. It was my stress release, my meditation. / No matter where I was, or how filled with anxiety, once I put my feet on the pavement, I could snap out of it. I felt strong and happy and alive. / I've been fortunate enough to be quite healthy throughout my life. Having a sickness that dragged on for so long, and not knowing where it was coming from, was excruciating. / I lost faith in my resilience. I lost my ability to believe in my own future. Why bother looking for apartments when it's surely only a matter of time before you are fired, or sick, or dead? / Yet here I am. It?s March, and I have my health, and a job, and a one-bedroom apartment. I am alive. To my great joy, it turns out that my body can heal, even though I stopped believing in it for a while. / Even though I got in a car crash in January! Even though my apartment had a gas scare! I am alive. / I don't know what I believe in. The feeling I get when I'm running is perhaps the closest I'll ever get to communing with God. I don't know why I was spared while others are dead. I don't know how long I will be spared. / But I was able to run five miles tonight, and my body was so happy, and I felt at peace in a way I haven't in six long months. / Near the end of my run, blocks from my apartment, I wiped out on the ice. Went straight down, no warning. / But it was a good fall. Nothing cracked or snapped or broke. There wasn't even any blood. http://actionathena.com/2012/03/16/annus-horribilis/ |
| Four Years Of Internet Comics | Athena [[holding up a 2012 calendar]]: Huh! Would you look at that! / ACTION ATHENA is four years old! http://actionathena.com/2012/03/19/four-years-of-internet-comics/ |
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