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Communication Athena: *&$%@#$! / Athena's Mom: You are so mean. / Athena: *&$%@#$! / Sarah Goldfeather: I can't talk to you when you're like this. / Athena: *&$%@#$! / William: Always angry... / Athena: *&$%@#$! / Athena's Roommate {{via instant messenger}}: Athena's mad again. / Athena: *&$%@#$! / [[At the SAGA dinner table, friends seated on either side of Athena look on in horror.]] / Athena: Bitches.
http://actionathena.com/2008/05/31/communication/
Attractive People Suck ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE SUCK. / Nice Pretty People / fake! ditzy! back-stabbing! catty! shallow! boring! / Nice Ugly People / genuine. self-deprecating. witty. comfortable. sympathetic. / Mean Pretty People / cold! bitchy! cruel! self-centered! demanding! / Mean Ugly People / character. sarcasm. personality. humor. perspective.
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/02/attractive-people-suck/
Whatever You're Thinking, Just Say It In the foreground, a woman sits, scowling. / In the background, a boy leans into the frame, wincing. / The boy moves forward, raises a hand as if about to say something. The girl's face looks sad instead of angry. / He lowers the hand. Pauses. The girl looks angry again. / He turns around and walks out of the frame. / The girl continues to scowl.
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/04/whatever-youre-thinking-just-say-it/
Haymarket [[Athena walks down the stairs to the lower level of Haymarket, hot drink in hand.]] / [[Close-up as Athena sniffs her drink.]] / [[Athena slips and stumbles down the stairs.]] / Athena: GAH! / [[Athena pauses and grips the railing for support.]] / Athena: gulp. / [[Hipsters all over the lower level of Haymarket look up and glare.]] / HIPSTER DEATH STARE. / [[Athena blushes and sulkily walks off with her drink.[[
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/06/haymarket/
Reject This year I have faced a good deal of rejection. Potential Committee Members: / Bill Brand: Your videos are too narrative--yet lack plot! / Matt Phillips: I don't know anything about comics. / Bill Brayton: Your art is very...illustrative. / Judith Mann: (no response) / Penny Lane: Sorry--I'm outta here! / Nell Arnold: I'm going to Tanzania! / Kim Chang: Keep looking... / Michael Lesy: YOU SUCK! / I am trying to not take it personally. Potential Summer Internships: / City Pages: We have no openings at this time. / The Rake: We're closing. Print journalism is dead! / MN Film & TV: We need someone who can start in May... / American Radio Works: We have an unexpected hiring freeze. / KSTP TV: All positions are filled at this time. / MN Women's Press: (no response) / MN Women's Political Caucus: (no response) / SPNN: ? / But not doing very well. The inevitable future: / Stylist: You're just not "salon" material. / Schoolteacher: I don't think you're fit to work with children. / McDonald's Worker: Dirty hippie. / DQ Worker: You're not PERKY enough! / Construction Worker: Kid, you don't have the balls. / Mom: You have failed as a daughter and a human. / Mr Right: I thought you were lovable...but you're not! / Me [[looking in a mirror]]: Fuck off and die!
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/10/reject/
 
Grown-Ups Home from college for the summer. / We don't know what to do together. Too young to drink (in a bar, anyway). / Too old to be comfortable after so long apart. / So we walk around. / Seems that overnight everyone went serious on me. / And me? / I went to Hampshire.
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/11/grown-ups/
Metaphorical Idiocy Metaphorical Idiocy / Monday: Athena puts her foot in her mouth. / Tuesday: Athena throws up word vomit. / Wednesday: Athena digs a hole for herself. / Thursday: Athena makes an ass of herself. / Friday: Athena talks out of her ass. / It's been that kind of week.
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/14/metaphorical-idiocy/
The Children's Section Athena: Ooh, ElfQuest! / David: ElfQuest--I always get that confused with American Elf. / Chris Semple: And I get THAT confused with An American Tail. / David: And I just mix THAT up with American History X. / Chris: Mmm. / David: Mmm.
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/16/the-childrens-section/
Marry the Person Who Sees the Best Version of You Marry the Person Who Sees the Best Version of You / My family thinks I'm thoughtful, quiet, intelligent, and creative--if sometimes MEAN. / Athena: Blah, blah, I am PERFECT, asswipes, blah blah. / My college friends think I'm loud, crude, emotional, and slutty--and perhaps STUPID. / Athena: BLAH, BLAH, MY SEX LIFE, BLAH (burp) BLAH / My home friends think I'm reclusive, brooding, gossipy, cold--and sometimes a SNOB. / Athena: sniff, BLAH. / Surrounded by clean-cut kids at home, I feel self-consciously PUNK. / With the punks and hipsters at Hampshire, I feel like a SQUARE. / Whomever I'm with, I start to see myself more and more as they do, and look for ways to fit in. / Athena [[striking a pose in front of the mirror]]: Ah geez. / {{Is this the T-rex dance? Or Thriller?}} / People don't change. / Athena [[uncomfortably straddling Minnesota and Massachusetts]]: oof / They just move.
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/19/marry-the-person-who-sees-the-best-version-of-you/
Dunn Bros on Grand Dunn Bros Dude: Psychic Medium--she's not really going by those kinds of names anymore. / Dunn Bros Dude: She's trying to develop a more serious image. / Dunn Bros Dude: Oh, don't worry, she's still a psychic--she's just not going by that. / Dunn Bros Dude: But y'know, she says "y'know" more than anyone I know. She'll say it like, five times in one paragraph. / Dunn Bros Dude: And I'm like, Susan, maybe I DON'T know what you know. / Dunn Bros Dude: You have to explain that to her.
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/20/dunn-bros-on-grand/
 
Twin Cities Pride Week Girl 1: I'm not gay. / Girl 2: Neither am I.
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/23/twin-cities-pride-week/
Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those Who Identify With Neither GENDER / It's a boy! / It's a girl! / It's a lesbian!
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/25/ladies-gentlemen-and-those-who-identify-with-neither/
Segways & Toothbrushes Segways and Toothbrushes! / Sarah Goldfeather: I used to think electric toothbrushes were lame, 'cause my parents have them, but then I was like, why move my arm when I can just go like this? / [[Electric toothbrush buzzes. Arm not moving!]] / Athena: Sure, like, why walk when you can just ride a segway? / Athena: Man, I don't get the deal with segways. It's not like they can even go fast or anything. / Sarah Goldfeather: NO! They can go 30 miles an hour, FOOL! / I was owned.
http://actionathena.com/2008/06/27/segways-toothbrushes/
Fuckin Comcast Fuckin Comcast. / [[The wifi router falls off the arm of the couch, where it was precariously perched.]] / Ian: Oh SHIT. I think I just broke the internet. / Ian: Aw FUCK, now I have to call COMCAST back here. Shit, this is gonna take ALL DAY. Fuck, I do NOT wanna deal with this right now. / Ian: grzzzowl...grumble...grumble...grumble...FUCK. / [[Ian enters the kitchen, where Athena is sitting.) / Ian: Phew. Before I call them, I should have a sandwich. / [[Ian pauses, knife and jar in hand.]] / Ian: ... / Ian: No, I should just call them now.
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/07/comcast-and-crying-eagles/
Fuckin Comcast Fuckin Comcast. / [[The wifi router falls off the arm of the couch, where it was precariously perched.]] / Ian: Oh SHIT. I think I just broke the internet. / Ian: Aw FUCK, now I have to call COMCAST back here. Shit, this is gonna take ALL DAY. Fuck, I do NOT wanna deal with this right now. / Ian: grzzzowl...grumble...grumble...grumble...FUCK. / [[Ian enters the kitchen, where Athena is sitting.) / Ian: Phew. Before I call them, I should have a sandwich. / [[Ian pauses, knife and jar in hand.]] / Ian: ... / Ian: No, I should just call them now.
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/07/comcast-and-crying-eagles/
Life of Ian Ian: AAAGH, god, I do NOT wanna write that essay. The topic is complete BULLSHIT, and it's gonna take forever. GAAAAHH! / [[A pause.]] / Chris Schodt: Doesn't it only have to be like, two pages? / Ian: Two to THREE.
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/09/life-of-ian/
 
Yeah. Fuck the moon. [[A naked alien dude dances on the moon, gripping his penis]] / Alien Dude: Ha ha ha / [[He jumps around.]] / Alien Dude: I'm on the moooooon! / [[He jumps again.]] / Alien Dude: Ha ha the mooon! / Alien Dude [[ejaculating]]: Uh-- uh-- AAAAHH! / [[He glances happily at the viewer as his sperm floats away.]] / [[An angry-looking Alien Chick appears.]] / Alien Chick: Fuck the moon. I'm going to Utah.
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/11/yeah-fuck-the-moon/
Currier Family Vacation Every Conversation with My Family Ever: / Mom: Houses. Houses. Woodworking. / Phoebe: Houses. Decorating. Houses. Houses. / Dad: Random mildly offensive joke. / [[Uncomfortable pause and glare.]] / Phoebe: DAD. / Mom: Ross, really. / Both: Houses. Houses. Houses. Houses. Houses. Houses.
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/15/currier-family-vacation/
Calypso! My Favorite Couple: / Elizabeth F.B.: That scene of "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" where he says "Calypso!" / Niall: No he doesn't, he just says, "Aaaugh!" / Elizabeth F.B.: He says "Calypso!" / Niall: Sweetie, we looked it up. On YouTube. / Athena: Ha ha, I like to imagine that all of your fights are like this. / Niall: Omigod, you have NO IDEA how many of our fights end with YouTube!
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/16/calypso/
What Disasters May Come Dreams / Chris: Y'know, I think the moment I officially stopped liking Shanti was when I tried to tell her about my ultimate dream and she got mad at me! / Athena: Shanti was MAD at you because your dream was to own a GIANT MANSION and hoard all your wealth! / Athena: That's a STUPID DREAM! / [[Pause. Athena sips her water. Chris glares at her.]] / Chris: Y'know...what's YOUR dream Athena, huh? / Athena: I don't know, to be happ-- / Chris: That's RETARDED. That's retarded.
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/18/what-disasters-may-come/
What's Up, Al Gore Elizabeth F.B.: If you fuck over the Earth, you fuck yourself! / Kate: So it's like...masturbating?
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/20/whats-up-al-gore/
 
Uff Da Niall: And what I'm talking aboot-- / Athena: Hee hee! "Aboot." You say that with such a Massachusetts accent! / Nate: It's not a shoe, Niall, it's about. / Niall: Wha...? Oh. / Athena: Ha ha! / Athena: And you say "theater" funny too. With an extra "R." "Thearter." Ha ha. / Niall: You know, Athena, I could totally come down on you about your Minnesota accent. / Athena: Oh sure! / Niall: Oh sure! / [[Athena clasps both hands over her mouth.]] / Athena: Wait! No! / Niall: Ooohh surrre!
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/21/uff-da/
Does This Clarify Things? A Map of Sorts. / (Friends, Family, and/or Just People I've Lived With.) / Grandmother + Grandfather = Uncle Aunt Uncle Uncle Mom Aunt = 13 cousins / Grandma + Grandpa = Dad Uncle Uncle = 2 cousins / Mom + Dad = Phoebe and ME! / High School = Sam Casey Mickey William Sarah G / 1st Year At College = Elizabeth Niall Tabitha Kate David Lizz Nate Chris Drew Hannah / Mod 71 & Co. = Simone Ben Andy Sam Kristian Daniel Doyle Alicia Kristen Flanagan / St Paul = Chris Julia Ian / Mod 102 AKA The Crack Den = Chris Sean Evan Marco Diana Sarah Molly Bera Hannah
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/25/does-this-clarify-things/
In Which I Seduce The Innocent My Memory Is Shit / Me: She leaves me for camp EVERY SUMMER, she's been doing it since like the 7TH GRADE. / Mutual friends: (they don't give a shit.) / Sarah Goldfeather: Um, actually I was home all of last summer. I never saw you because YOU were working 50 hours a week. / Athena: Oh yeah.
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/27/in-which-i-seduce-the-innocent/
I Jumped on the Meme Train… Then (age 14): / Lifelong obsession with the "bob cut" in full swing. / Height = 5'2 1/2" / Eyeliner / Girly hippie shirt / Cool messenger bag / 300-pg fantasy novel / Green pants (they were great) / Weight = 105 lbs (and I thought I was SO fat) / Extracurriculars: Speech team, school plays, band geek, knowledge bowl / & / Now (age 20): / Height = 5'2 1/2" / Eyeliner / Self-inflicted haircut / Very uncool (but spine-friendly) square backpack / Boring T-shirts and sweaters / Comics / Jeans / Weight = fuck off, asshole / Real combat boots / Extracurriculars: Burlesque troupe, webcomic, playing guitar
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/28/i-jumped-on-the-meme-train/
Looks Like America! At a party this spring, an ex (I guess you could call him) confessed: / I don't know how to talk to you anymore! It's intimidating; like you got all confident or something. / I've thought about this since. Here is my response: / There's a difference between confidence and just not giving a shit!
http://actionathena.com/2008/07/31/looks-like-america/
 
Like Sands Through the Hourglass... Like Sands Through The Hourglass... / [[Outside Dunn Bros coffee shop.]] / Athena: Hey! / Chris Schodt: Hey! / Athena [[making comics]] / Chris Schodt [[editing photos]] / [[In Dunn Bros coffee shop.]] / Chris Schodt: Hey! / Athena: Hey! / Athena [[reading webcomics]] / Chris Schodt [[playing computer games]] / [[On a St Paul sidewalk.]] / Athena and Christ Schodt: Hey! / Chris Schodt: Y'know, I think we lead the same boring life. / Athena: Ha ha! You're right! / Chris Schodt: Eh...could be worse!
http://actionathena.com/2008/08/01/like-sands-through-the-hourglass/
Cute Pet Stories Julia: My dad flushed my fish down the toilet when I was a kid. It was a betta. / Julia: He just decided to do it, without telling me or anything. / Offscreen: Oh no! / Julia: It gets worse. It swam back up. After he flushed it. / Julia: Then he felt all bad, so he put it back in the bowl. / Julia: Over the next few days, I watched it get grayer and grayer. And then it died. / [[Julia sips her drink.]]
http://actionathena.com/2008/08/04/cute-pet-stories/
Mi, A Name I Call Myself An Awesome Discovery. / By Athena Currier. / Used to be, there were two many good songs that I believed were permanently wrecked for me by the memory associations that they carried. / Song: excuse me too busy you're writing your tragedy... / Athena: Oh geez. / Song: the actress gave up all her old dreams... / Song: rest your head for just five minutes everything is good... / Recently I've discovered that, with determinations, I can override such associations by listening to the song in a new place over... and over... and over... / Song: till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away... / Song: take me back down where cool waters flow yeah... / There's probably a lesson to be learned here about aging and maturity, but I'm bored and have run out of panels. / Song: 'cause everytime we touch I get this feeling...
http://actionathena.com/2008/08/06/mi-a-name-i-call-myself/
Exploring: By Bus...And By Internet To and From Downtown Mpls & St Paul Via Public Transportation / Hurrying up Snelling to catch the 16: / Some Guy: Damn, lady, you smell GOOD! / Minutes later, aboard the 16: / [[Dude with powder blue suit and ruffle shirt and shiny blue shoes.]] / Awaiting the 63 in downtown St Paul, in the rain: / Some Chick: Damn it's wet! I'm afraid I'll get athlete's foot! In fact I'm terrified! / Some Dude: I wish I'd brought an umbrella! Though of course, men can take it better than women, the rain. / Walking up Snelling again: / [[Guy on a bike with a vacuum.]] / Waiting for the 63 at Nicollet: / Little Boy: I bet you don't think you could do this, huh? Climb on here like this? / A block from home: / Someone in a Car: Sit on my face!
http://actionathena.com/2008/08/08/exploring-by-busand-by-internet/
Girl Night GIRL NIGHT / Traffic... / Construction... / (DETOUR) / Sarah Goldfeather: Yes! We made it home, scot-free! / Maia: Scot-free, what does that even mean? / Sarah Goldfeather: No idea. / Athena: No scots! / Maia: Hey! That's my UNCLE Scott! On a bike! / [[Indeed, it is Uncle Scott on a bike.]]
http://actionathena.com/2008/08/25/girl-night/
 

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