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#001 - Pleased To Meet You Kari! Welcome to Mounthgate Hall! / Thanks! I still can't believe I get to live here. / Well, the low rent comes with some responsibilities. / I'm just glad to find a place I can afford that isn't a total dump. / Even though all my friends said I'm crazy to sublet from a creepy old guy in a big spooky mansion. / Old? / Um, no offense.
002 - Pied Dans La Bouche, Partie Deux You must have had tons of applicants, why did you pick me? / Three things. What you said about how science shouldn't automatically reject the paranormal... / And you were highly recommended by my friend Cyril. / I don't know anybody named Cyril. / Not yet, but you will. / Are you on any medication I should know about?
003 - Interruption And what was the third thing? / You have a job. / That makes me feel special. / You wouldn't believe how many people want cheap rent so they can just hang out all day getting... / "Clink!"? / Sounds like there's someone in the kitchen. / I'll check it out. If you hear anything... strange, get out of the house. Quickly. / Is there something I should know? / Do you have any weapons training?
004 - There's a THING In the Kitchen It's probably nothing, but I'll... AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH! / You're drinking from the carton again!
005 - Nothing to See Here What's going on in there? / Nothing. / I heard some... AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEE! / PLOP! / Fine, I'll get a glass.
 
006 - Are We Awake? I think she's waking up. / Ohh... What happened? / You fainted. Are you hurt? / I don't think so. There was this thing... / You mean me? / You're not helping. / Sorry, Dude.
007 - If You Give A Troll A Burglar... I meant to explain about Trevor before you saw him. He's a troll. He lives in the basement. You're a resident now, so he won't hurt you. / Do tell. / You shouldn't have your friends come over unannounced, though. He eats intruders. / Really? And what if there aren't any for a while? / I don't know. I always leave the doors unlocked. He's never gone hungry. / Mmmm... Burglar. Now that's good eatin'!
008 - Am I On Candid Camera? What are you looking for? / Is that the camera in the light up there? / No, we don't have a security system. We have Trevor. / This is one of those hidden camera shows, right? Now you're going to say "You've been punked"? or something? / Um... no. / There better be a BIG cash prize appearing now. / You've won a ride on the Trollercoaster!
009 - Anger Management Then you just did this for the heck of it? / No, I'm not... / Darn you! / So you've had your fun! You scared me! Ha ha! But I came here because I was desperate for a place to live not to be the target of stupid practical jokes by some weirdo freak! / So that's IT! NO MORE! Or I will make your life a living heck, understand? / That went well. / Bite me. / You're the boss...
010 - Late-Night Visit Awake! AWAKE! / AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE! / Fear not! I come to warn you of great danger! / AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE! / All right! I should have called first.
 
011 - I'm Right Here Who are you?!! / I am your great-great-great-grandmother Clara. / What are you doing in my bedroom?!! / Okay, can we turn it down? I'm dead, not deaf.
012 - No, Grandma, NO! I have come with a warning. You are in grave danger! / From Dr. Eldritch? / No, not from him. / But he's... / Kinda hot. I know. / Say, could you introduce me? / Sweet Mother Mary, help wipe these images from my mind!
013 - I've Got... Needs. Are you saying you LIKE him? / I wouldn't kick him out of bed. / But you're a ghost! / Heh! I may be dead, but I'm not... / Dead. / Well, technically... / Oh, PUCKEY!
014 - The Amulet This amulet will be your protection. Say his name three times, and it will draw him to you. / It's magical? / It is. / It's so... / Ugly. / I'm pretending you said "Thanks, Great Grandma!"
015 - It's Only A... No, Wait. Be safe, Great-great-great-granddaughter Kari! / Bye, Great-Grandma! / Whoa! That was the weirdest dream! I've got to stop letting this place get to me. / Oh, doots.
 
016 - Silent Treatment I'm still mad at you. But what happened to your ear? / A figure of speech gone bad.
017 - Roaming Charges Extra I had the wierdest dream last night. / And you want to punish me by describing it in excruciating detail? / This amulet will bring him to you in a time of peril, but it only works once. / Wait... Just once? / It's prepaid. For monthly, they want a credit card, and don't get me started on the roaming charges... / No, I'm good. I'd rather catch you by surprise. / Now, THAT I can respect.
018 - Mystical Trevor I'll be gone a few days. Try to get along with Kari, okay? / Righteous. / Say, what do you do all day while I'm out? / I devote myself to a path of elightenment, meditation and prayer. / Wow. I never realized trolls were so spiritual. / Yes. We constantly seek the Wisdom of the Masters. / You've got to grow up and take responsibility! / You tell him, Dr. Phil!
019 - A Party? Hi, Kari! I... / Oh, it's you. Look, I had a grotty day, and I don't want to deal with you right now. / Sure, but Eldritch said... / Later, okay? I've got lots to do, and my friends are coming over any minute. / People! Here? / Yes, lots of them. / Groovy.
020 - Yes, A Party! What's going on? / I'm having a party. / I couldn't believe she showed up at work wearing THAT... / I'm at a party. I said a party! Wht? Is this better? What? / ...wearing anything underneath... / Isn't this house just amazing? / That plant ate my taquitos. / I thought you didn't know anybody in town. / I worked with Ashli and Jenni, and they invited some friends, and THEY invited their friends... / You don't have to look very hard to see her... / I said "What?" / I have pretty hair. / Where's the bathroom, though? / Cool! / You brought complete strangers into this house? Do you have any idea how DANGEROUS that is? / She's a slu-- / ...a party! Wait, I'm getting another call... / See if it will eat a mini-quiche... / Nice costume, dude. / Thanks. I'll eat you last.
 
021 - There's Always One The guy in the monster costume said you live here. / That's right. / I modeled a carbon molecule... / Hang on a minute... / BREATHE. / You like my costume? / There's no mistletoe. / Cool! You need a drink? / Thanks, I am way too sober. / From candy apples and pixie stix. / ...No, I don't want to see your lightsaber. / Thanks! / What? / What's he supposed to be, anyway? / He's a troll. / Yeah, all my best science projects... / I'm back. What? / THE FORCE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE. / Go upstairs and take it off? / ONLY at Christmas? / Huh? Like in a chatroom? / There was a world before the Internet, you know. / End up being eaten. / No, Jedi mind tricks don't work on me. / Okay! / Well, Cra...
022 - Swing... And A Miss You want to go some place quieter? I've got some awesome herbals to share. / I don't think so. / And the pirate says: / Yeah, your sister's having fun! / That's cool, we can just go to your room and do the nasty. / You surf? So do I! / ...Sorry you're missing the party... / That was the first day I had this! / Wow! In eleven words you completely destroyed what chances you ever had. / We should do the coast! / ...I wanted to say... Wait, we're breaking up... / I know that feeling. / You're sweet! / Harsh! You could make it up to me by giving me a... / Mr. Wand REALLY doesn't want you to finish that sentence. / How's my hair? / What? No, the phone! Not us! Hello? / We could play doctor. / I'm a little rusty.
023 - It's a HIT! Who is that guy? Do you know him? / Not really. / I think Jackie's friend Mike's cousin bought some weed from him for the party, and he just invited himself along. / No, I don't want to do that! / I'll call later! This guy with an awesome costume is checking me out! / Great party! / Dude. / SLAP! / Wow! Twenty bucks says she still has the imprint of his face on her hand for a week.
024 - Violence, Part I Sorry, everyone! I'm just totally wiped out. Thanks for coming. / You found my bra? Thanks! Well, yes, I want it back! / BREATHE. / I don't feel so good. / We're leaving. What? No. LEAVING! Say again? ... You've got a dirty mind. / ...Peach Schnapps. Never again! / Thanks, Kari! Great party! / Was I wearing pants when I got here? / Must... brush... teeth... In a minute... / / Creeeeak.... (To Be Continued...)
025 - Violence, Part II Hey, Babe. Be cool. You won't remember anything. / *Speak his name three times...* / Eldritch... / Shhh! Chill! You don't have to do anything. / ...Eldritch... / ...Eldritch!
 
026 - Hangover Station Morning! How do you feel? / Like someone drove a spike through my head. / Drink this. It will neutralize the residual drugs in your system, and help with that spike. / Drugs?!! / Yes, Mr. Inappropiate-Touching doped your drink. / That scum-fu... Son of a... OHHH! I will kill him SO DEAD! / That's what Trevor's hoping.
027 - Just Hanging Out I must have been on drugs. Last night, I thought I saw you walk through the wall. / Curious. / More importantly, are you ready to have a chat with him? / He's still here? / Yes, I chained him up in the basement. / Let's go! Maybe I should bring a knife. A BIG knife. / You really meant chained "up". / NOW can I eat him?
028 - Options Dude, I'm like totally sorry. Can I go now? / Not yet. You see, we have a problem. If we turn you over to the police... / You might get a good lawyer and not suffer any consequences. I want you to suffer. / Um, do I have another option? / Sure. He wants to eat you. She wants to do something horrible involving knives. / I was thinking more like Community Service.
029 - Poetic Justice This will make you nauseated whenever you think of doing anything hurtfult to women. / That's IT? / Don't worry, it's much worse than it sounds. Try giving him something to think about. / Sweet! Wait... I feel a little... / BLAARGH! / Hey! I LIVE here!
030 - And Now It's Personal Dude! Make it stop! Uh... Please! / It's all up to you now. Think healthy thoughts, you won't feel sick. Have hurtful urges, and you'll have time to consider the error of your ways while you're throwing up. Repeatedly. / I can't help thinking about sex! / Like when I do this? / *Smack!* / BLAARRGH! / Oh, look! Breasts! / BLARGH! / BLAARRGGH! / Kari, maybe that's enough for now. / Have mercy! Take him outside! / *Jiggle* / OooOooOOHHH!
 

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