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| #511 - HCD 2009 | {{Comic 511)) {{HCD 2009}} / [[Ping, Trevor, and Dr. Eldritch are in the foyer]]
/ Ping: Hi! Can I hit you in the groin with this ball so Trevor can do a comic about it?
/ Eldritch: No.
/ Ping: You're SURE? It's for Hourly Comic Day! And it will be funny! / Eldritch: So you're doing a journal comic every hour today? How's it going?
/ Trevor: Not so good.
/ Ping: I'm helping by making interesting things happen!
/ Eldritch: Still no. / Trevor: I need more. I don't want to do comics about doing comics. That's totally lame.
/ Eldritch: Indeed. How about if I said "Trevor is the most awesome troll ever!"?
/ Trevor: Cool! / [[comic within a comic]]
/ Eldritch: Trevor is the most awesome troll EVER!!!
/ Narrator: True!
/ [[Things I Ate This Hour: Chicken, Ice Cream, Washcloth (whoops!)]] / {{Want to see more of Trevor's Hourly Comics?}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Trevor}} {{Ping}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic511.html |
| #512 - HCD 2009 II | {{Comic 512}} {{HCD 2009 II}} / [[comics within a comic]] / Val, Kari, and Helen: No, I won't do it with you so you can make a comic about it!
/ Narrator: I'll try again tomorrow
/ [[Things I Ate This Hour: 4 Cans peaches, Pot roast (frozen), 2 Breath mints]] /
/ Narrator: It was totally an accident! I swear!
/ Eldritch: OOF!
/ Narrator: But it was really funny!
/ [[Things I Ate This Hour: 5 Pudding Cups, Something from the back of the fridge]] / Narrator: A new crowbar for my collection!
/ [[Things I Ate This Hour: 2 bags gumdrops, 18 dill pickles, Burglar]] / {{Most of the others involve television}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Valeria Steele}} { Kari Proctor}} {{Helen Alloy}} {{ Dr. Eldritch}} {{Trevor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic512.html |
| #513 - Preparedness Burn-Out | {{Comic 513}} {{Preparedness Burn-Out}} / [[Dr. Eldritch, Sudbury, and Kari Proctor in his study]] / Eldritch: How's the shotgun toting going?
/ Kari: Awful! It's heavy and awkward. And I can't do anything that takes two hands without help. And I could really use a shotgun rack in my bathroom. / Eldritch: How long do you intend to keep it up?
/ Kari: Well, the moment I stop he'll probably appear.
/ Eldritch: Naturally.
/ Kari: So I'll keep going for awhile. / Eldritch: Fine. But be thinking about a plan for when you're ready to get it over with.
/ Kari: That would be nice. I WILL need both hands to patch the hole in the bathroom wall. / Eldritch: You...WHAT?
/ Kari: HEE! You are so easy! / {{Actually, that shotgun rack isn't a bad idea...}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Sudbury}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic513.html |
| #514 - Just A Dream? | {{Comic 514}} {{Just a Dream?}} / [[Valeria Steele and Kari Proctor eat burritos in the kitchen]]
/ Val: You've been carrying a shotgun around because you think the "I'll eat your head" guy is going to show up here any second?
/ Kari: Yeah! What have you been doing to prepare?
/ Val: Nothing. / [[a tiny figure dashes across the sink counter]]
/ Kari: NOTHING?! But we were both there! It seemed so real? He was so... freaky!
/ Val: Yeah. But it was still just a dream. / Val: Weird stuff happens here all the time. And it's not like we've been wearing fancy dresses on a riverbank and going at it.
/ Kari: I assumed that part was just a metaphor.
/ Val: HEH! Right. Metaphor. / [[exeunt tiny titan]]
/ Kari: So he's NOT about to attack? I've been lugging this around for NOTHING?
/ Val: Maybe I'm wrong, and I'll get my head eaten.
/ Kari: If so, don't come crying to me.
/ Val: Well, I COULDN'T, because...
/ Kari: Exactly. / ((And of course the dreams you WANT to come true never do, like being able to fly without pants}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Valeria Steele}} {{Kari Proctor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic514.html |
| #515 - Robotheory | {{comic title= Together Again }}
/ {{comic number= #309 }} / [[ Basement, Poker round of the cybernetic-american, the troll and the Lycanthromimus (werewolf mimic) ]]
/ Byron: It's like you're walking through the woods, and you find a robot.
/ Ping: What kind of robot?
/ Byron: Doesn't matter.
/ Ping: I guess not. If you inherently devalue...
/ Byron: He's a bending robot.
/ Ping: Nice. / Byron: So, logically, someone must have built him.
/ Trevor: Okay.
/ Byron: And the builder must be some super-awesome major-genius.
/ Trevor: Huh?
/ Ping: How do you figure? / Trevor: What if he's just dome ORDINARY robot-building guy?
/ Ping: Or he could be a self-replicating robot!
/ Trevor: Yeah! or a robot escaped from aliens!
/ Ping: Or put there by the magic robot nixies! Wait... bad example.
/ Byron: See, that's exactly what I was thinking! / Trevor: So, a guy came to the door just to tell you about a robot in the woods?
/ Byron: Guess so. When I said I was built with really sharp teeth, he took the hint and left.
/ Trevor: HEH! These teeth are built for chomping!
/ Ping: Bet that guy's never even STUDIED robotics! / / {{ If there's a robot lurking in the woods, it's probably a trap. }} /
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Trevor}} {{Ping}} {{Byron}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic515.html |
| #516 - All In The Timing | {{Comic 516}} {{All in the Timing}} / [[Gary the Clock, Walter the Dresser, and Kevin the Ficus]] / Gary: Everything's going dark. This... this must be it.
/ Walter: No! You can't die! Not now!
/ Gary: Before I go, I have to tell you... I took you in when you were orphaned, raised you, cared for you, because... because... / Gary: BECAUSE *I* SET THE FIRE THAT KILLED YOUR PARENTS!
/ Walter: NO! That can't be true!
/ Gary: Now my death brings justice, but I hope, one day... *COUGH*
/ Gary (weakly): One day, perhaps you can forgive me... *gasp*
/ Gary (chiming): BONNNGGG!!
/ Walter: Bwahahahahaha! / Kevin: Cut! CUT! Dang it, Gary!
/ Gary: Sorry! I slipped!
/ Walter: Oh! I'm dying! Bonnggg!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! / Kevin: Get it together! The talent show is TOMORROW!
/ Gary: Hey, I want to finally beat the Ottoman Twins' ventriloquist act as much as you do! / {{Yeah, but who's lost the most leaves over this?}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Gary, the clock}} {{Walter, the Dresser}} {{Kevin, the ficus}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic516.html |
| #517 - Victory | {{Comic 517}} {{Victory}} / [[Gary the Clock, Walter the Dresser, and Kevin the Ficus are in the hall with an award trophy. A gnome runs away.]]
/ Walter: First Place! That makes you an award-winning director, Kevin!
/ Kevin: Yeah, guess so.
/ Walter: Hey, what's up? We won! You don't seem very happy about it. / Kevin: Sorry, I don't know what's wrong. After all the time I spent writing, rehearsing, crying... I know I should be ecstatic. But winning isn't as satisfying as I thought it would be. / Ottoman Twin (off-panel): Hey, screw you, Kevin!
/ The Other Ottoman Twin (off-panel): We're SO going to kick your potted ass next year! / Kevin: Ah, bitter jealousy from the losers! THAT'S what was missing! / {{Your houseplants delight in the suffering of others. Did you know that?}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Gary the Clock}} {{Walter the Dresser}} {{Kevin the Plant}} {{Ottoman Twin #1}} {{Ottoman Twin #2}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic517.html |
| #518 - Haunting | {{Comic 518}} {{Haunting}} / [[Robby and Bobby the Ghost Evil Scouts appear to Dr. Eldritch in his study]]
/ Robby: Revenge! REEEVENNNGE!
/ Bobby: Boooooo! I mean, revenge!
/ Eldritch: Hi, guys.
/ Robby: That's IT? We're GHOSTS! You're not even scared a little? / Eldritch: Sorry. Your vocalizations are adequate, if a bit traditional. But I've been around too many apparitions to find that frightening.
/ Robby: We're still gonna punish you.
/ Eldritch: Yeah? How, exactly?
/ Robby: Creepy noises, chairs rocking with nobody in them, show tunes.
/ Bobby: I want to make the walls drip blood. / Eldritch: Yes, yes. Quite terrifying.
/ Robby: Those ideas suck, don't they?
/ Eldritch: Well, they've all been done before. / Robby: Tell us some scary things to do, or.... we'll HAUNT you!
/ Eldritch: Oh, you've really got me there.
/ Robby: Dang! / {{Do it, or I'll say BOO! to you again!}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Robby the Evil Scout Ghost}} {{Bobby the Evil Scout Ghost}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic518.html |
| #519 - Now! | {{Comic 519}} {{Now!}} / [[Dr. Eldritch encounters Ping and Trevor in the kitchen]]
/ Ping: Now.
/ Trevor: Nnnnnow! / Ping: Nnnow!
/ Trevor: Nnnow!
/ Ping: Nnnow!
/ Eldritch: Trying to guess when the toast will pop? / Ping: We were playing that, but now we're on to a different game.
/ Eldritch: What's that?
/ TrevorL Guessing when you'll freak out.
/ Ping: In 3... 2... 1... / Trevor: Want some toast?
/ Ping: Now!
/ Eldritch: Did you toast EVERY SLICE OF BREAD IN THE HOUSE?
/ Ping: I win!
/ <<*Pop!*>> / [[On the plus side, we're set for toast for WEEKS!]] http://askdreldritch.com/comic519.html |
| #520 - It's News | [[Trevor and Ping watch TV in Trevor's basement]]
/ TV: Jennifer Love Hewitt celebrated her thirtieth birthday on Saturday by dressing up like Audrey Hepburn and having breakfast at Tiffany's. / TV: The callipygian "Ghost Whisperer" star sipped coffee and munched a bagel outside and inside the famous store, while being photographed by paparazzi. / TV: We would be remiss if we didn't point out that she broke off her engagement to her fiance in December, which likely contributed to, if not CAUSED the subsequent 1,500-point drop in the Stock Market. / Trevor: If marrying her would save the economy, I'd do it.
/ Ping: You're a true hero. / {{Has anybody studied the correlation between celebrities' relationships and the country's economic stability?}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic520.html |
| #521 - Presents | {{Comic 521}} {{Presents}} / [[Kari Proctor and Dr. Eldritch just inside the front door]]
/ Kari: You bought more clothes. And I should be excited because...?
/ Eldritch: Because they're not for me. Happy Birthday!
/ Kari: It's not even CLOSE to...
/ Eldritch: Whatever. They're a birthday present. / Kari: For this year? Or the one you missed last year?
/ Eldritch: The point is, I thought you could use some proper apprentice clothing.
/ Kari: Well, this outfit is falling apart. I don't know how many times I've resewn the seams.
/ Eldritch: And you haven't been wearing the t-shirts I gave you. / Kari: it's not that I DIDN'T want to tell people that I'd rather be blasting zombies. It's that I got tired of guys using it as an excuse to stare at my chest.
/ Eldritch: I don't wear my shorts that say "Hot Stuff" across the seat for the same reason. / Kari: Well, thank you.
/ Eldritch: For the new clothes, or the shorts?
/ Kari: Let's not get hung up on specifics. / {{Seriously, you shouldn't have to tell people you're Hot Stuff.}}
/ {{Appearnces:}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic521.html |
| #522 - Choices | {{comic title= Choices }}
/ {{comic number= #522 }} / [[ In the entryway, Dr. Eldritch has given Kari her apprentices clothing, which she is putting on. ]]
/ Kari Proctor: We're going to look like those creepy couples who wear matching outfits.
/ Dr. Eldritch: You can adjust the appearance, if you like. Surely you've noticed that my clothes shift hue.
/ Kari: Umm.... Yes, of course!
/ Dr. Eldritch: Humph. Obviously we need to do some observation exercises.
/ [[ Kari's suit currently has the color satined violet, matching Dr. Eldritch's colors. ]] / [[ Kari's suit has shifted to military green/brown camouflage ]]
/ Kari: No. / [[ Karis suit has shifted to red/pink colors ]]
/ Kari: EWW! No. / [[ Karis suit has shifted to military gray/black camouflage ]]
/ Kari: No. / [[ Karis suit has shifted to workers-blue color ]]
/ Kari: Hey! / [[ Dr. Eldritch's suit has shifted to hawaii-shirt colors ]]
/ Kari: This, I can live with.
/ Dr. Eldritch: You didn't try "Vacation Camo".
/ Kari: Not in this lifetime.
/ Dr. Eldritch: It looks better while holding a Mai Tai. / {{ Hey, you never know when you'll need to blend in with a group of tourists. }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Kari}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic522.html |
| #523 - History | {{comic title= History }}
/ {{comic number= #523 }} / [[ In the Master Bedroom ]]
/ Dr. Eldritch: Thirteen months later, the courts annulled all the marriages, because slightly more than half of the state's voters didn't like same-sex couples having equal rights.
/ Helen Alloy: And that makes you sad?
/ Dr. Eldritch: It does. We humans have a long history of oppressing others. And that decision affected friends of mine. / Helen: If humans are willing to oppress other humans, what hope does Ping have for Cybernetic-American equality?
/ Dr. Eldritch: Good question. How long will it be before two robots marry each other? Ironically, it would probably be easier for a man to marry a Femdroid than another man. / Dr. Eldritch: Actually, that's not a bad idea. Maybe WE should get married, in protest.
/ Helen: We should express disapproval of some people being relegated to second-class-citizen status and cybernetic beings' lack of recognition as legal entities by joining in matrimony?
/ Dr. Eldritch: Exactly! / Helen: I'm not sure I see the logic in....
/ Dr. Eldritch: Protests don't have to make sense! They're PROTESTS! / {{ Yeah, like when protesters sent a half ton of peanuts to the Nielesen company over a TV show. }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Helen}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic523.html |
| #524 - Proposal | {{Comic 524}} {{Proposal}} / [[Dr. Eldritch kneels by bed]]
/ Eldritch: For the longest time, I couldn't imagine a woman who would fit into the craziness that is my life. Now, you fit so perfectly, I can't imagine my life without you in it. It's as if you were made for me. / Eldritch: ...which come to think of it, you were. What I'm trying to say is: Helen Alloy, will you marry me?
/ Helen: Yes! Yes, I will! / Eldritch: You've made me so very happy!
/ Helen: I can see that. / Eldritch: Hmmm, yes. I probably should have put on pants first. / {{Oh, for a dollar every time I've said that!}} / Eldritch: Still, it gives me an idea for how we can celebrate our engagement.
/ Helen: The same way we celebrated Daylight Saving Time and the satellite collision?
/ Eldritch: Exactly! / {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Helen Alloy}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic524.html |
| #525 - Announcement | {{Comic 525}} {{Announcement}} / [[Dr. Eldritch and Helen Alloy are at the dining table with Kari Proctor and Valeria Steele]]
/ Eldritch: You should know: Helen and I are getting married. / < http://askdreldritch.com/comic525.html |
| #526 - Contest Winner | {{comic title= Contest Winner }}
/ {{comic number= #526 }} / [[ Living room, they are playing console video game ]]
/ Trevor: YESSS!
/ Ping: Dr. Eldritch, you could have won if you weren't so busy blocking my tiara construction.
/ Dr. Eldritch: An oversight.
/ TV: New Sparkle Princess, enter your name! T...R... / [[ In the kitchen ]]
/ Kari Proctor: Don't you think letting someone win is kind of degrading?
/ Trevor: Beats me, I always win!
/ Valeria Steele: Like letting the boss win at golf? Eh, people are scared. He's the boss, they're weak.
/ Dr. Eldritch: How long ago did we order that pizza? / Val: Scared. Weak. Yeah, that's sad. And doesn't the boss catch on eventually?
/ Trevor: Scared & Weak. That's a good restaurant name!
/ Dr. Eldritch: Fine. Want to see me beat him?
/ Trevor: Beat who? / [[ Living room ]]
/ Trevor: Cake! Wait, it's not letting me eat that doily.
/ Ping: "Lose to Win"? This game sucks.
/ Dr. Eldritch: It's educational. Caloric restriction prolongs life.
/ TV: You lost 68 pounds! Enter your name. D....R....
/ Trevor: Hey, I was still eating the pasta bar! Let's play it again. / / {{ Write The Dialog Contest Winner 2009, by grrlpup! }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Kari}} {{Val}} {{Trevor}} {{Ping}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic526.html |
| #527 - Defense | {{comic title= Defense }}
/ {{comic number= #527 }} / [[ Fitness room, Kari on the bike, Dr. Eldritch on the treadmill ]]
/ Kari Proctor: I am, of course, happy for you both, but you two getting married seems.... unusual.
/ Dr. Eldritch: That would explain all the laughing.
/ Kari: Yeah, sorry about that. / Dr. Eldritch: Sure, it's mostly symbolic, but she's the one with whom I want to spend the rest of my life.
/ Kari: So, the fact she tried to kill all of us, including you, doesn't matter?
/ Dr. Eldritch: We've worked through those issues. / Kari: You mean, when you said "Forgive and Forget"?
/ Dr. Eldritch: It's easier than wasting a lot of time with therapy. And what really counts is that we love each other.
/ Kari: Even though the bride has no emotions. / Dr. Eldritch: Can't you say anything positive about this?
/ Kari: At least you don't have to worry about her mother taking over the wedding plans.
/ Dr. Eldritch: See! No in-laws! Yet ANOTHER way that she's perfect! /
/ {{ Downside: For wedding presents, everyone will think it's funny to give you a toaster. }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Kari}} {{Val}} {{Trevor}} {{Ping}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic527.html |
| #528 - Best Troll | {{comic title= Best Troll }}
/ {{comic number= #528 }} / Dr. Eldritch: So you really really really really want to be "Best Troll"?
/ Trevor: There was one more really.
/ Dr. Eldritch: Got it. But we weren't planning on having a best troll. Or best man. / Trevor: PleasePleasePlease!
/ Dr. Eldritch: And why, exactly, do you have this burning desire?
/ Trevor: Because I really want to. / Dr. Eldritch: Uh huh. Could this have anything to do with the tradition of the best man hooking up with the maid of honor after the reception? And you're figuring this would give you a shot at Val or Kari?
/ Trevor: Maybe. / Dr. Eldritch: Well, we weren't going to have ANY groomsmen or, more importantly, bridesmaids.
/ Trevor: None?
/ Dr. Eldritch: None. But if you really WANT to be best man...
/ Trevor: No, it's cool.... / {{ In my experience, bridesmaids claim to have never even HEARD of this tradition. }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Trevor}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic528.html |
| #529 - Calling It | {{comic title= Calling It }}
/ {{comic number= #529 }} / [[ In the kitchen ]]
/ Valeria Steele: See, if you're not going to tell the state that she's a Fembot, there's no protest. You're just tricking the system until they find out.
/ Dr. Eldritch: But we're showing that a human can marry a cybernetic being and it doesn't destroy marriage for everyone else. / Val: Because she can pass for human. If you really wanted to make a statement, you'd marry Ping.
/ Dr. Eldritch: He's not really my type. / Val: Fine. Do whatever. But man up and admit that what you WANT is to marry your sexbot. Don't hide behind some bogus protest. / Dr. Eldritch: I'M supposed to be the one who points out when other people are in denial.
/ Val: And yet, you're not grateful.
/ Dr. Eldritch: Could I pay you to NOT psychoanalyze me?
/ Val: Where's the fun in THAT? /
/ {{ Wow. Didn't even argue with the word 'sexbot'. }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Val}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic529.html |
| #530 - Wedding Plans | {{comic title= Wedding Plans }}
/ {{comic number= #530 }} / [[ Laundry room ]]
/ Helen Alloy: You mean a women-only revel with embarrassing drinking games and debauchery, where I wake up the next morning on a pool table with a stripper?
/ Kari Proctor: Yes, a bachelorette party.
/ Helen: No, we can skip that tradition.
/ Kari: Thank goodness! / Kari: I mean, of course, I am HAPPY for you two, and since I'm Eldritch's apprentice, I feel I should do something. Need any help with the wedding?
/ Helen: No, thank you. I have everything arranged.
/ Kari: Seriously? In a WEEK? / Helen: Yes. Actually it was nine days, four hours....
/ Kari: Guest list, invitations, location, Minister, caterer, flowers? CAKE? DRESS?
/ Helen: All done. / Kari: Because you make Eldritch happy, I'm trying very hard to not hate your ight now.
/ Helen: Oh, you're sweet! /
/ {{ This is why it's best to hire a robotic Wedding-Planner. }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Kari}} {{Helen}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic530.html |
| #531 - Cyberparty | {{comic title= Cyberparty }}
/ {{comic number= #531 }} / Dr. Eldritch: What's all this?
/ Ping: Robots!
/ Clyde: Hey!
/ Ping: Well, Clyde is a cyborg. / Ping: I told them about your wedding at our Cybernetic-American awareness day protest, and they all wanted to throw you a spontaneous bachelor party.
/ Dr. Eldritch: That's very.... kind. / Ping: So, what do we do? We only know of two things that happen at bachelor parties, and we can't drink.
/ Dr. Eldritch: And you didn't hire a stripper.
/ Amber: Hey! / Ping: Why did you think Amber was here?
/ Dr. Eldritch: Um, I didn't... I mean....
/ Amber: I will rock your world! /
/ {{ Let's get those fairings off and see what you've got! }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Ping}} {{Robots}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic531.html |
| #532 - Wedding, Part 1 | {{comic title= Wedding, Part 1 }}
/ {{comic number= #532 }} / [[ In the hallways ]]
/ Valeria Steele: Come on, let's go watch the guests arrive.
/ Kari Proctor: Is... is that what you're wearing?
/ Val: Why? What's wrong with it? / Kari: Nothing! It's ... WOW! But isn't it bad form to draw attention away from the bride?
/ Helen Alloy: I'm ready. / Helen: I am supposed to ask how I look, am I not?
/ Kari+Val: Whoa. / Kari: On second thought, you're probably okay.
/ Val: I hate her a little bit right now.
/ Kari: We can start a club.
/ Helen: I'll take that as "You look great!" /
/ {{ Apparently even fembots want a fairy-tale wedding. }} /
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari}} {{Val}} {{Helen}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic532.html |
| #533 - Wedding, Part 2 | {{comic title= Wedding, Part 2 }}
/ {{comic number= #533 }} / Caption: Ritual imbues an event with significance and solemnity.
/ Helen Alloy: I do! / Caption: It connects us to our cultural history.
/ Ed the Tentacle Monster: Then I pronounce you husband and wife! / Caption: Ritual lets us know how certain things are done.
/ Ed the Tentacle Monster: You may kiss the bride! / Caption: Some, however, are unclear on the concept.
/ Trevor: But it's a tradition!
/ Kari Proctor: FOR FOOTBALL! / {{ 3% of marriages end abruptly because the bride and groom didn't discuss whether there would be cake-face-smashing beforehand. }}
/ / {{ Handy reference link: Ed the tentacle monsters first appearance: #142 }} /
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari}} {{Trevor}} {{Helen}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Ed}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic533.html |
| #534 - Wedding, Part 3 | {{comic title= Wedding, Part 3 }}
/ {{comic number= #534 }} / [[ Living room, the furniture is talking about the wedding. Walter, the Drawer Desk, has a bunch of drinking glasses sitting on him. ]] / Kevin, the Plant: Wow! I've never seen so many people here!
/ Gary, the Clock: Sure, there's free food.
/ Kevin: Don't be cynical. Everybody loves a wedding! / Gary: But what sort of wedding? I'M more self-aware than the bride is.
/ Kevin: How do we know that for sure? She appears sentient.
/ Gary: She's admitted that she has no self-awareness!
/ Kevin: But what if she was LYING about that? / Gary: Ohh, interesting! But she could be PROGRAMMED to lie.
/ Kevin: But if she can be programmed to lie, or tell the truth, then her statements concerning her own consciousness prove nothing either way. / Gary: But then... How could...? Whoa.
/ Gary: What do you think, Walter?
/ Walter, the Drawer Desk: Haven't these people heard of COASTERS? / {{ Unfortunately, nobody can prove that cake exists. }}
/ / {{ Handy reference link: / previous Gary & Walter comics: 264, 284, 306, 356, 359, 374, 397, 411, 446, holidaybonuscomic 2008 }} /
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kevin, the Plant}} {{Walter, the Drawer Desk}} {{Gary, the Clock}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic534.html |
| #535 - Wedding, Part 4 | {{comic title= Wedding, Part 4 }}
/ {{comic number= #535 }} /
/ [[ the guests are standing in receiving line to congratulate the newlyweds ]]
/ Wedding crasher [[to Trevor]]: No, I'm not a wedding crasher! I knew the bride in junior College!
/ Wedding crasher [[more nervous]]: i mean... Grade school? / Robot 1: 01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01110101 01100110 01100110 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01101100 01110101 01100010 01110010 01101001 01100011 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100110 01101100 01110101 01101001 01100100 00100000 01110000 01110101 01101110 01100011 01101000 00100001
/ [[ translation: The buffet has lubricating fluid punch! ]]
/ Robot 2: 01000011 01101100 01100001 01110011 01110011 01111001 00100001
/ [[ translation: Classy! ] / Valeria Steele [[to Kari Proctor]]: I'm not saying that I {I}WANT{/i} to catch the bouquet. I'm just saying that if I {i}DID{/i} want it, I {i}WOULD{/i} get it. / Professor Boffin [[to the bride and groom]] : Good heavens! You're not the buffet!
/ Darla Shoughnessy: What he means is felicitations to both of you!
/ Helen Eldritch: Oh, that's sweet of him! /
/ {{ And now that the pleasantries have been concluded, where IS the buffet? }} / {{ handy reference links:
/ Wedding, Part 1: comic #532
/ the Proposal: comic # 524 }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Helen Alloy Eldritch}} {{Kari}} {{Trevor}} {{Professor Boffin}} {{Darla}} {{Val}} {{others}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic535.html |
| #536 - Wedding, Part 5 | {{comic title= Wedding, Part 5 }}
/ {{comic number= #536 }} / [[ Near the end of the party ]]
/ Dr. Eldritch: Since she's a Fembot, she got a token ring.
/ Valeria Steele: Please stop.
/ Dr. Eldritch: Well, all the other guests have gone. We should call it a night. / Helen Alloy, now Helen Eldritch: Don't worry about cleaning up. I'll take care of it all tomorrow.
/ Kari Proctor: Thanks! I'm beat. I had to drag Val onto the dance floor, but then she didn't want to quit.
/ Val: I forgot how much fun it is.
/ Kari: Speaking of cleaning, what was that beige confetti we threw instead of rice? / Dr. Eldritch: Punchouts from IBM cards.
/ Val: Ow! Ow! My Eyes!
/ Kari: What's wrong? / Val: They cramped up from all the rolling he's caused.
/ Dr. Eldritch [[ leaves the table with his wife ]]: Good night, you two!
/ Val: Wait! I've got more! /
/ {{ If you're not a Network Admin, there's a good chance you won't get the Token Ring reference. We Apologize For The Inconvenience. }}
/
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari}} {{Val}} {{Helen}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic536.html |
| #537 - Wedding, Epilogue | {{comic title= Wedding, Epilogue }}
/ {{comic number= #537 }} / [[ Dr. Eldritch and his freshly married wife are in bed ]]
/ Dr. Eldritch: Good morning, Mrs. Eldritch!
/ Helen Eldritch, nee Alloy: HEE! I like the sound of that! "Mrs. Eldritch." Should I have everyone call me that?
/ Dr. Eldritch: If you like. / Helen: So, is being married making you happy?
/ Dr. Eldritch: It is. It really is. Since every other woman that I've been romantically involved with has perished tragically, I'd given up on ever being married. / Dr. Eldritch: And then, you showed up. I never thought that a Fembot would be perfect for me, but you are uniquely suited to handle all the emotional significance I've put onto marriage from wondering for centuries what it would be like. / Helen: I'll do my best. Was our wedding night what you hoped for?
/ Dr. Eldritch: Oh, yes! I particularly liked it when you yelled "Fascinating! Tell me more!"
/ Helen: I've been saving that for a special occasion! / {{ And best of all, there's nothing weird about this! }} / {{Appearances:}} {{Helen}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic537.html |
| #538 - Windfall | {{comic title= Windfall }}
/ {{comic number= # 538 }} /
/ [[ In the breakfast nook ]]
/ Valeria Steele: Scenario thirty-three: a Coronal Mass Ejection toasts her wiring, and she goes all killbot again.
/ Kari Proctor: Good one. Um, how many are there?
/ Val: Fifty-seven.
/ Kari: Okay. / [[ Dr. Eldritch enters ]]
/ Dr. Eldritch: Hello! Grand morning, isn't it? Just look at that view. Makes one glad to be alive, doesn't it?
/ Kari: Sure. / Dr. Eldritch: Yes, yes. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be.... busy today. So, we'll resume tomorrow. Maybe you could try sparring with Val, and definitely keep up on your reading. Well, you've been working quite hard, why don't you take a day or two off? Go, enjoy the nice weather, and we'll check back in later. Perhaps Thursday. That all right? Good, then. See you!
/ [ and Dr. Eldritch exits ]] / Val: Whoa. And THAT doesn't worry you at all?
/ Kari: Are you kidding? I'm getting the week off! / / {{ Frankly, we should all be a bit concerned about Coronal Mass Ejections. }} /
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Kari}} {{Val}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic538.html |
| #539 - Spring Break | {{Comic 539}} {{Spring Break}} / [[Kari Proctor and Valeria Steele are having barefoot beer on the cloud-watching hill]]
/ Kari:...and THAT cloud looks like two people having a... Oh, hey! That gives me a great idea!
/ Val: What's that?
/ Kari: I could use this break to work on the pageant! There's still tons of stuff to get ready! / [[silent pre-penultimate panel]] / [[silent penultimate panel]] / Val: So, not gonna happen?
/ Kari: Not TODAY! / {{The Planning to Plan step is VERY important. And time-consuming.}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Valeria Steele}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic539.html |
| #540 - Easter Joy | {{Comic 540}} {{Easter Joy}} / [[Dr. Eldritch and Trevor outside Mounthgate side entry. Trevor dressed in Easter Bunny costume.]]
/ Eldritch: No. Just... no.
/ Trevor: Awww! / {{You could be depriving kids of Treasured Childhood Memories!}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Trevor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic540.html |
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