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The Older Brother Part 2 (Guest Comic) The Thrilling Finale... / [[Sanjay is speaking via a Cowbird logo. Shyam is speaking via a disembodied grinning head, drawn using MS Paint. And it shows.]] / Sanjay: Shyam, this comic is supposed to be about disappointment. / Shyam: Well, can't we just say the readers will be disappointed with my triumph? / Sanjay:...
Heart Facts [[A tough-looking heart is holding a sword]] / Narrator: The number one cause of death in the U.S. is heart attack / Narrator: This is when the heart doesn't get enough blood / Narrator: This is a bit embarrassing for America but it is totally embarrassing for the human body, because the heart gets twice...
Tetrology Narrator: The heart symbolizes love, but things about the heart don't symbolize things about love / [[Man and woman holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes]] / Man: We make complete sense together, like a ventricular septal defect, pulmonary stenosis, an overriding aorta and right ventricular hypertrophy / Narrator:...
Errors in judgement [[Man speaking]] / Man as Narrator: I spent most of my life not in a relationship / [[Man and woman holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes]] / Man as Narrator: I should have been with you that whole time. I was only off by one person, but in another sense, the difference is incalculable / Man as...
Paid message Whatever, shot putters. / [[There is an arrow pointing to a shot putter that says "Loser"]] / You are basically just muscle bound jocks with no aim / Also you are losers / -Paid for by the Bocce Players Association of America / {{Mouseover: Shotput is the same game as Bocce but with a pallino that is...
 
X-mas [[DMX dressed up in a Santa hat, looking tough]] / DMX: Santa gon' give it to ya / DMX: Fuck waitin' for you to get it on your own / DMX: Santa gon' deliver to ya / Narrator: Merry DMX-Mas from Cowbirds in Love / {{Mouseover: And a Happy Wu Year.}} / {{Bottom: X gon giv it to ya ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_TbHl3a8qk...
Boxing Day Love Letter This Christmas all I wanted was your love / Instead I got the graphics tablet I used to draw this comic / Maybe this comic will make you fall in love with me; / Then it'll be like I got what I wanted / But I've drawn much better comics and they didn't work so I won't get my hopes up / [[It's the Jerk...
Pride, Prejudice and the Present Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice set in modern times / Elizabeth: I'm Elizabeth Bennet! I'm intelligent and pretty and kind and in every other way attractive. / Darcy: I'm Fitzwilliam Darcy! We are perfect for each other! Let's date. / Elizabeth: Okay! / Darcy: Great! / Elizabeth: Well, that was easy. / Elizabeth:...
Jeopardy! If you watch Jeopardy! backwards, it looks like a show about rich people paying money for answers to pointless questions / {{Jeopardy! has subliminal messages encouraging the funding of stupid research projects.}} / {{Jeopardy! too would be confusing for Merlin from Once and Future King. / It's a...
Love and Lust Woman: We say it is love / But the world says it is lust / Woman: Just because it is for power / {{Mouseover: You say it's puppy love, I say it's full grown}} / {{Footer: I?ve heard the first time you lust for power really shapes the kind of power you lust after the next times. }}
 
Party Time [[Two people are partying.]] / Narrator: When I was a kid, having a single friend over was an exciting time / [[Four people are standing in a square, bored, and holding cups.]] / Narrator: Today, only three people came to my party and it is officially a bust. / [[A boy wears a cup his head and pretends...
Bipolar {{372. Bipolar}} / [[Narrator is smiling; he is labelled with an "N" above him and an "S" below him like he's a compass]] / Narrator: The doctors said I'm bipolar / Narrator: But I just have a magnetic personality / Narrator: Also I have bouts of depression and mania / {{Title-text: Bipolar disorder...
Happy New Year Part 2 [[Sanjay is standing there looking dejected. He is imagining himself happy and wearing a pair of '2009' glasses.]] / New Year 2009 was the last chance to get those cool 200X glasses / Here's to another year of missed opportunities / Mouseover: As my friend Bailey points out, next year you can get...
Presnets [[Boy holding a box]] / Narrator: I'm terrified of getting presents for her. I never know if she'll like the presents and I'm afraid of what she might say. / Girl: You must not know me at all. This is my least favorite thing in the world. / Boy: That's weird... My least favorite thing in the world is...
Nightcrawler feat. Mike Husni This is Nightcrawler / Nightcrawler sees an attractive lady / <> / <> / [[He teleports over to the lady.]] / Nightcrawler: Ta da! / Lady: AAAH! / Nightcrawler: You know, I went through hell to come see you. / Nightcrawler gets all the ladies with that line / Lady: What? / Nightcrawler:...
 
Fat Man and the Sea No man is an island / but if a man is fat enough the seagulls don't care / Green is my default shoe color / Here on the open sea the ability to fit through doorways is gladly traded for increased buoyancy.
Haunted Once upon a time there were two sisters. / They were both haunted. / One was haunted by a past love. / The other was haunted by ghosts. / The sisters couldn't agree who had it worse off. / Eventually, the first sister went crazy. / She found her former love and poisoned him to death. / [[The former...
Juggling triplets [[There are three babies.]] / I always said if I had triplets they would know I love them because I resisted the urge to juggle them when they were babies. / [[Sanjay is holding three babies looking sad.]] / But maybe I don't think I can resist the temptation. / It would be so awesome! / [[Sanjay doing...
Squirmy There is a tradition in my family. / [[There is a pedigree of my immediate family with me in blue.]] / I, my siblings, my father, his siblings, my grandfather and his siblings all have names that begin with the letter S / [[Superman S]] / [[There's a Fiddler on the Roof.]] / There's no big justification...
Gupta Some lady: Did you hear about Sanjay Gupta? / Sanjay: No Don't care either. / I've gotten daily updates about Sanjay Gupta since the day he started saying stuff on CNN. / I secretly swore my revenge. / Gupta: Why yes, I'd love to talk about things outside of my specialty. / Gupta: Childhood vaccinations?...
 
You can have whatever you like Red: So, what do you like about me? / Green: Well, you have really nice eyes. / Red: What kind of thing is that to like? Everyone has nice eyes. / Green: Yeah, it's really convenient. What do you like? Nice personalities? Ha. Good luck with that. / {{Mouseover: The romance of lowered expectations}} / {{Footer:...
Bird in hand [[Girlfriend on the phone to her boyfriend, with another boy in the background]] / Girlfriend (into phone): Hey baby, we got to break up. There's this other boy I want to hit on and I want to be single when I do it. / [[Boyfriend is upset]] / Boyfriend (into phone): What! Baby, don't do it! I'm a sure...
Medical malpractice [[Someone has their brain all out.]] / I wanted a brain transplant / But they put me on the body donors list instead / {{Mouseover: The problem is all in the mind}} / {{Footer: So! A new site! / You can read more about it at my new news page.}}
Running into little kids Little kids are terrifying / [[A little kid runs past the narrator.]] / They are fast, hard to see and easy to knock over / And when you knock them over you feel bad / *THUD* / [[The little kid got knocked down.]] / But turns out they don't damage easily. / [[The kid keeps running.]] / They start out so...
Ice cream relationships Narrator: Whenever you use an ice cream flavor to describe a relationship, it is never good. / [[Man and woman, both eating ice cream]] / Man: Vanilla... / Woman: Rocky road... / Narrator: So when she told me she thought our relationship was Neopolitan I was concerned / [[Man is annoyed]] / Man: Whatever,...
 
I could listen to this song all day [[Some lady jamming on her iPod.]] / Jammer: Oh man! I could listen to this song all day! / Skeptic: Why don't you? You just got an iPod, Just do it. / Jammer: Well, I don't want to get sick of the song. / Skeptic: That's stupid. If you'll get sick of it, what's the point of saying you could listen...
The Hottest Guy In The World Did you hear about the hottest guy in the world? / [[Hottest Guy is looking good, and some lady is totally digging him. / He was so hot he triggered smoke alarms / [[The smoke alarm is going EEEEEE!]] / He was absolutely smoking... / Hottest Guy: What's up, ladies? / ...in bed / [[Hottest Guy is smoking...
The Hottest Guy In The World Part II/The Guy Who LITERALLY Cried Wolf Part I [[Hottest Guy is on fire. He looks upset about this.]] / HG: AAAAAAAH! / [[Hottest Guy frantically dials a number on his phone.]] / <> <> <> / [[Hottest Guy is talking on the phone.]] / Other end of the line: Hello / HG: Baby, I am on fire and I don't know what to do! / OEOTL: That's...
The Guy Who LITERALLY Cried Wolf Part II [[Jerk Lady and Magic Boy and standing next to each other.]] / JL: I have to tell you something. / JL: Nobody loves you and you'll be alone forever. / MB: What! / [[A tear starts to well up in MB's eye.]] / <> / [[It falls.]] / [[Still falling.]] / [[Still falling.]] / [[It hits the ground.]] / SPLASH! / [[It...
Mindreader [[A woman in red is looking off-screen.]] / Woman: Do you think you can know a person so well you can read their mind? / Off-screen: Sure. / Woman: Really? / Woman: How? / Off-screen: Well, I know myself pretty well and I always know what I'm thinking. / Woman: Sure. / Off-screen: So, yes, I think you can...
 

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