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Barberism [[There is a man pictured, he is the narrator of the comic.]] / Narrator: I'm about to present to you a conspiracy theory. But unlike other conspiracy theorists, I'm going to prove to you beyond reasonable doubt that there is a conspiracy. / Narrator: Prepare to have the wool lifted from your eyes. / [[There...
Fan fiction [[A picture of Angelina.]] / {{Title Text: MLA format says that the proper way to cite someone is to draw them in a comic and ask people to write fan fiction about them.}} / {{Bottom Text: That?s Angelina. / She was featured in the last comic. / Which means she?s sort of a literary figure now. / Which...
5% reporting And so, with 5 percent of the electorate reporting, we can now safely predict the winner of the election. / Hold it a minute, how are you able to call the election with only five percent of the electorate? / You aren't a scientist, are you? / Why? Is there some fancy scientific way to get a lot of information...
March madness [[A group of people in blue and orange are listening to a person in red.]] / Red: I just assembled this crowd of protesters to march of Washington. What should I do now? / Off-screen: March forth! / [[The crowd is gone and the man in red is talking to a giant, floating date: March 4th.]] / Red: Thanks,...
Indecision [[There is a man standing some train tracks.]] / Man: I wonder whether or not I should leave my legs on these tracks. / Narrator: Crippled by indecision. / {{Title Text: I took an art class about how to draw a face. I haven't drawn a face since.}} / {{Bottom Text: This is a pretty old joke idea. I...
 
Murmuring Doctor: I just examined your patient. Did you notice anything abnormal during your physical exam? / Med Student: No. / Doctor: Well, your patient had a murmur. / Med Student: Well, how was I supposed to know? / Doctor: She said she told you she had the murmur. / Med Student: Well, how was I supposed to...
ATP [[A man eating grey gray pellets, supposedly ATP.]] / Narrator: My chief culinary aspiration is to find out whether or not pure ATP is delicious. / <> / Narrator: Thanks for nothing, Wikipedia. / {{Title Text: I already know all this Kreb's Cycle garbage, just tell me if it is delicious.}} / {{Bottom...
Sleeping with the fishes Narrator: Coming to a theater near you: / [[An attorney or lawyer questions the defendant, King Triton.]] / Attorney: And then you said "She belongs at the bottom of the ocean and I'm going to send her there?" Were you talking about the victim? / Defendant: You have yo understand the context. / Attorney:...
Less than meets the eye Transformers: The Live Action Movie / (Why it sucked) / Starscream: Gr.... I'm a Decepticon and am evil for no reason! ALL HAIL MEGATRON! / Cars: Not character driven: Awesome / Plot: Not character driven: Terrible / {{Mouseover: I'm more than meets the eye too, Shia LaBoeuf.}} / {{Bottom: If Starscream...
Time Enough For Love [[Two people stare into each other's eyes, holding hands]] / When we are together, the hours vanish like they were nothing / When we are together, the days vanish like they were 23-hour days / Daylight saving time for each other / Spring forward, / Fall in love / {{Title text: Uh, I used up all my...
 
Homiehostasis [[Man standing before a chalkboard with "BROS BEFORE HOS" written on it. The man is holding a pointer.]] / Man: Let's have a talk. / Man: A lot of you have taken the guideline "bros before hos" to heart. And that's fine. But you need to realize that prioritizing your friendships over your romantic relationships...
The Eightfold Webcomic Kurt: I am so mad at Buddhism! They said don't take medicine once it has cured your disease and so I did that and now bacteria have developed antibiotic resistance! / Buddha: Um, that was a metaphor. It's not like I interrupted the flow of my discourse on ending suffering just to dispense one piece...
To Boldly Go [[Democritus is pictured.]] / Democritus: I'm Democritus. I think there are these things called atoms and you can't split them. / [[Ernest Rutherford is pictured.]] / Ernest Rutherford: I'm Ernest Rutherford. I split the atom! And if I can do that to an unsplittable thing, I can probably have the power...
Matt's Fan Fiction Further Adventures of Angelina: Part 1 / Charles Darwin: Hey little girl, dontcha recognize that you are in the presence of greats? I'm Charles Darwin AKA Big D and this is Gregor Mendel AKA Lil Greezy / Gregor Mendel: We're two of the brightest minds in history and we hang out with all of the coolest...
The True Meaning of St. Patrick's Day Narrator: St. Patrick's Day isn't about drinking... / [[Samuel L. Jackson in Snakes on a Plane and Ireland covered in snakes are pictured.]] / Narrator: It's about getting rid of some MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES. / {{Title Text: In case you didn't know, St. Patrick was famous, much like Samuel L. Jackson,...
 
You Spin Me Right 'Round [[A peeved guy is spinning on one leg, but with his head spinning in time with his body - unlike in ballet]] / Narrator: Spotting while turning is for wimps. / Narrator: Boo hoo hoo. I want to turn in circles a lot of times but I don't want to get dizzy. Waa waa waa. / {{Mouseover: Spotting while weightlifting...
Love from above [[A boy and a girl hold hands, the girl is happy, the boy looks neutral. There is a heart over the two, but between them.]] / Boy: That heart reminds me of our relationship. / Girl: How? / [[The boy lets go of the girl's hands, and the girl is sad.]] / Boy: It's over between us. / {{Title Text: Is my...
Headstrong [[Flydd holds an A+ piece of work.]] / Flydd: I wrote a really good paper. I'm really smart. You might even say I'm "headstrong" / Grace: WAIT! / Grace: Headstrong doesn't mean inteligent. It means stubborn or obstinate / Flydd: That's dumb. "headstrong" should mean something good about your head. The...
Wall tension [[The Grinch is pictured, speaking to a person out of panel. The doctor in the next panel explains the Grinch's condition while the Grinch speaks to this person.]] / Person: The Grinch, you really went on a crime spree last Christmas. / [[The doctor is shown.]] / Doctor: As the size of a vessel increases,...
The Resistance Narrator: Point-Counterpoint: / Narrator: Dealing with The Resistance / [[A dictator, possibly Fidel Castro, is shown.]] / Dictator: We have left the rebels alone too long and their movement has grown in size. I we want to decrease the resistance, we need to increase the pressure. / [[A scientist in...
 
First Street This webcomic contains spoilers about First Street in Philadelphia. / Read on at your own risk. / There is no First Street in Philadelphia. It goes Third Street, Second Street, then a river. / I found this out when I went for a walk with the mission of finding out what was beyond first street. / I'm...
Moment/Week of Silence [[Nothing.]] / {{Title Text:}} / {{Bottom Text: There is no update today. / Instead, my website is having a moment of silence for the greatest website ever made: / lolsecretz.com / It made me laugh, it made me cry, and now it made me an excuse not to do an update when I couldn?t think of one. / It?s...
Every day I would love to beg you to come back. / I would love to tell you that I think about you every day. / But I know that since you read that list, that doesn't mean anything to you. / [[List]] / Things I think about every day: / * At least 10 other people / * Breakfast cereal / * Cowbirds in Love / * Dinosaurs / *...
Se7en Narrator: SEVEN PART 2! / Narrator: New list of seven sins, new string of vandalisms [vandalism]/murders! / [[Two men are pictured.]] / Man 1: We are homicide detectives! I came out of prison and he came out of retirement to work on this case! / [[A man whose face was crushed by a large bag of money...
Sandwich Artist 145. Sandwich Artist / The saddest joke : Sandwich Artist / Every artist must / Find his medium / I can put a magnum / Opus between two / Slices of bread / But please, fast food consumer / Why don't you tell me whether / or not your sandwich needs / extra bacon / (It doesn't, you / Philistine) / If you...
 
Raising a Career Criminal Woman: What's the problem? / Cop [[through car window]]: You were driving down the wrong side of the road. / Woman: So? / Cop: It's against the law. / Woman [[driving off]]: Whatever, nerd. / Because several years earlier... / Girl: I want to go to the comic convention! / Father: I won't allow it. Conventions...
April 2nd [[A man stands behind a machine labeled "Lie Detector," with wires running out of panel, connected to a second man. The machine has a dial with an arrow, which points either to the left, Truth, or to the right, Lie.]] / Man 1: Okay, it's all set up. You can begin. / Man 2: Alright. / [[The machine points...
Passion Fruit [[A boy and a girl are pictured, facing opposite directions.]] / Boy Narrator: Our relationship has stagnated. / [[The boy is the only one shown.]] / Boy Narrator: I'll buy some passion fruit and then our relationship will be full of passion. / [[This event happens inside the boy's thought bubble. The...
Sword Cane [[A picture of a cane, but with a sword inside of it.]] / Narrator: So you own a sword cane... / Narrator: You only have four days of freedom left. / [[Three men are shown, one with the sword can, the others just standing. "Day 1" is written at the top.]] / Person 2: 'Sup? / Narrator: You walk around town...
The 150th Update [[Angelina stands speaking to Sanjay, who is out of panel.]] / Sanjay: Angelina, I need you to do me a favor. / Angelina: Sure, Sanjay. What's up? / Sanjay: As you may know, I have a webcomic. And as you may know, I'm a principled, decent person. As such, I've always avoided having my characters break...
 

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