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| Runaway Bride Joke | *Julia Roberts throwing Eggs at Richard Gere's House* / Richard Gere: Why are you throwing eggs at my house? / Julia Roberts: I found out how I like my Eggs. / Mouse over text: You got your fairy tale ending in Pretty Woman; why couldn't I have this? / Text below comic: As the saying goes, you have to break a few eggs if you want to vandalize a house. http://cowbirdsinlove.com/331 |
| Brian's Amazing Trick | {{Brian's Amazing Trick}} / Generic Guy: I really enjoyed spending time with you
/ Generic Girl: Yeah / Brian [[appearing from the left]]: HEY LOOK AT ME!
/ Generic Guy [[annoyed]]: What is it, Brian? / Brian: I can touch my nose with my tongue!
/ Generic Guy: That's great, Brian / [[Brian is now touching his nose with his tongue.]] / Brian: Loo' a' i'! Loo' a' i'! Loo' a' i!
/ Generic Guy: I'm done looking at it Brian, could you leave us alone? / Brian: Loo'! Loo'!
/ Generic Guy: No!
/ Generic Girl [[walking away]]: You guys seem like you are busy. I'll leave you to yourselves / Brian: O'er here!
/ Generic Guy [[looking to the right]]: What! No, wait!
/ Text: but she was gone / Generic Guy: Thanks a lot, Brian! You just totally blew my chances with that Generic Girl
/ Brian: Let me ask you a question. / Brian: By your chances with that Generic Girl, did you mean YOUR MIND!?
/ Brian: I thi' you did / {{Title text: This comic sort of makes me want to blow people's chances at things just so I can make this joke.}} / {{Bottom text: / I?m sharing links today! / Ira
/ Fair weathered friend of the website and good friend of mine, Mike Hazeltine has a cool music project up called Ira. He has six songs up there. If I had to pick a favorite I would probably pick ?When I Close My Eyes?, but luckily I don?t because they are all very nice. / i hit on you
/ People submit awkward stories about being hit on. You read them and usually experience some schadenfreude / Unwinder?s Tall Comics
/ This one is right off my links page. Unwinder?s Tall Comics has started updating again after what seemed like ages. There aren?t too many comics up so you could easily read this in one sitting, and maybe you should. / Hitmen For Destiny
/ This is a really charming comic that you probably can?t read in one sitting, but you?ll want to.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/332 |
| Commitmentphobia | [[A bride and a groom are facing each other, holding hands.]]
/ Bride: I don't!
/ In the future, fear of commitment is officially recognized as a psychiatric illness / [[A man is standing in front of a cash register with his hands in the air, a cashier is standing behind it.]]
/ Cashier: Paper or plastic?
/ Man: Don't make me choose!
/ The irony of a fear of commitment causing so many to be committed to mental institutions is mostly lost on the millions of people institutionalized for an existential fear / [[A balance scale with medical ethics on one side and humor on the other is in the foreground, a happy doctor with his hands in the air is in the background. Medical ethics is outweighed by humor.]]
/ But the joke won't be lost on psychiatrists, who only starting recognizing fear of commitment as an illness because they thought it would be funny / {{Text below comic: Apparently the fancy phobia word for a fear of commitment really is commitmentphobia. I guess they couldn?t COMMIT any time to coming up with a better name.
/ Get it?}} / {{Mouseover text: Baby, you make aversion therapy worthwhile.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/333 |
| Red Badge | Red Badge
/ [Soldier with a green uniform holding out a red badge]
/ First Soldier: For amazing valor in the line of duty, I present you with a new medal, the red badge of courage. / [Second soldier with green hat]
/ Second soldier: What? Like the Stephen Crane book? / First Soldier: Yes, I heard it was very popular. / Second soldier: Have you actually read the book, Captain? / First Soldier: I'll get around to it. Look, do you want this medal or not? / Second soldier: I do, but it's just that the red badge of courage is a bullet wound, not a medal. / [Captain has a gun that goes bang and the soldier has a wound on his uniform]
/ First soldier: Whatever you want.
/ That was really brave of you to correct me. I guess that's why you get all of the medals. / {{In fact if you want some more, feel free to interrupt me again.}} / {{I generally like Crane?s Maggie: A Girl of the Streets more than The Red Badge of Courage, but I don?t think
/ the joke would have worked if it was sad and about a girl that got totally screwed by society.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/334 |
| Melvin Frumpkin | Melvin Frumpkin looks for love in all the wrong places... / Under an elephant / On the moon
/ Melvin: Hello?? / At a bar
/ Melvin: What's your name?!
/ Girl: What?!
/ Melvin: What's your name?!
/ Girl: What?! / In a river of flowing lava / On top of a mountain
/ Guru: I'm not really looking for anything serious / At the doctor's office
/ Melvin: She wants me to undress! / There's a little bit of Melvin in all of us, probably hitting on our pancreas or something. / If you?ve found love in any of these places, MY BAD.
/ We could make a comprehensive list of all the wrong places to look for love, if you want: The Cowbirds in Love Facebook group http://cowbirdsinlove.com/335 |
| Sasha Griswald | Narrator: Sasha Griswald looks for love at all the wrong times... / [[Sasha looks very sad as she speaks with someone on the phone.]]
/ Narrator: When you are both really busy.
/ Sasha: Sure. That's fine. Maybe next month then. / [[There is a multiple choice scantron section filled out in the shape of a heart.]]
/ Narrator: While taking a test. / [[Sasha is on fire and chasing after someone.]]
/ Narrator: When you are on fire.
/ Sasha: I just want to talk! / [[Sasha looks at a picture, concerned, and Dr. Emmet Brown of Back to the Future is beside her.]]
/ Narrator: When your parents went to high school.
/ Sasha: My older brother is disappearing from the picture.
/ Dr. Emmet Brown: Great Scott! / [[Sasha is wearing all black and looking quite happy.]]
/ Narrator: While delivering a eulogy.
/ Sasha: Speaking of the widow, you know who else is single? / [[A Tyrannosaurus Rex is about to step on Sasha.]]
/ Narrator: Before the evolution of humans.]]
/ Sasha: You seem nice. / {{Title Text: If you are only FIGURATIVELY on fire, that is a perfect time to look for love. But some people don't know the difference between 'figurtively' [['figuratively']] and 'literally' so they'll never know.}} / {{Bottom Text: Imagine you fell in love with someone totally awesome. / Then imagine they started introducing you to other awesome people, and tried to get you to fall in love with them. / You would think, ?What?s the deal? Are you trying to write yourself out of my life?? / But you would get the response: ?No, I want you to love all of us.? / That?s what Dinosaur Comics has been like for me. / It was the first webcomic I ever loved, and most of my favorite comics I found because Dinosaur Comics linked to them.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/336 |
| PostSecret | [[There is an eagle in the panel with words displayed, some letters in black and some in red.]]
/ Entire Message: Though everyone knows you write letters to post secret for the revalation [revelation] of personal secrets, since I became a 2nd lieutenant I have willfully leaked milittary secrets to kause operations to fail. no one knows I'm afraid of what will happen if I am uncovered.
/ Hidden Message: They know your location and will attack at noon. Run. / {{Title Text: In case you are too lazy to decode the secret message, it says: 'THEY KNOW YOUR LOCATION AND WILL ATTACK AT NOON. RUN'}} / {{Bottom Text: I really like PostSecret. Though I feel, sometimes, that I read it too much for schaedenfreud and not enough to appreciate the sharing of secrets and feelings. / It?s no lolsecretz, but at least it?s still going strong. / Also, I just found this: PostRejects, which is a pretty good PostSecret parody site that just started. / I guess this week I?m running some kind of ?link to sites that don?t really need my support? theme. Another site that meets this criteria: Wikipedia, where I got this public domain picture of an Eagle. / Also, I?m trying out adding advertising to the site. We can talk about it tomorrow.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/337 |
| Feeling Insecure | Convict: I've been feeling a little insecure lately. / Guard: You want to talk about it? / Convict: I think more than that, I just need a hug. / Guard: Come here, man. / [[The convict and the guard hug.]]
/ MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON / {{Mouseover: If your maximum security prison doesn't do this, maybe it isn't really that commited to maximizing security.}} / {{Bottom: / I added ads to the site. I thought I?d explain why so you guys don?t go all ?Dylan Goes Electric? on me. / Firstly, I really like Project Wonderful and I wanted to work with it. I?m getting my ads from the same place I get my RSS feed (RSSpect) and my Dinosaur Comics (xkcd)
/ Secondly, I want to buy my webcomic nice things. And I think these ads are a good way to raise the money. I want to pay for some ads of my own and maybe, if I save enough, get a real URL. A kid can dream! / Thirdly, I want to make insane profits. / Drop me a line if you have strong negative feelings about this.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/338 |
| Three Architects | [[A woman in a red-colored shirt, man in blue colored shirt and man in green colored shirt all stand beside each other. All are assumed to be architects]] Narrator: Three architects shared a common dream... / [[A very gray skyline, with windowless buildings in 4 different shades of gray stands]]Narrator: ... To add a structure to their city's skyline / [[ Woman in red-colored shirt stands at one of those drawing tables with a stick of some form in one hand and a mug in the other.]] Narrator: The first architect worked as hard as she could to become the best architect she could be / [[Woman in red colored shirt stands beside 5 yellow bags with dollar signs on them and has 3 dollar signs overhead. The woman looks sad.]] Narrator: She became very successful, but she never picked up a contract that would change the skyline. / [[Man in blue shirt lies in lounge chair.]] Narrator: The second architect never worked at all. He was totally lazy. / [[Different woman in red standing next to lounging man in blue shirt]] Different Woman in Red Shirt: You're fired.
/ Narrator: He lost his job he was so lazy. / [[The three architects standing together again.]] Narrator: The third architect started growing... / [[The three architects standing together again. Except the one in the green shirt is getting taller.]]Narrator: And growing... / [[The three architects standing together again. Except the one in the green shirt is getting taller. Now taller than the tree which appeared next to the three architects out of nowhere]]Narrator: And growing... / [[The three architects standing together again. Except the one in the green shirt is getting taller. Now taller than the tree which appeared near the three architects and taller than the cloud that was directly overhead.]]Narrator: And growing... / [[Now the green-shirted architect is standing in between 2 of the buildings from the earlier gray skyline.]] Narrator: ... Until he was big enough to achieve his dreams. / {{title-text: Everything I know about architects I know from Ayn Rand and 'How I Met Your Mother'}}
/ {{bottom-text: Guess which character is a persona character for me.
/ (Hint: It?s the second architect)}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/339 |
| Indirect Chivalry | Narrator: In the days of chivalry / [[A young man and an old man are sitting on a bus.]]
/ Narrator: 1. Everyone sits on the bus. / [[A shocked young and old man are sitting and a woman is standing.]]
/ Narrator: 2. Young woman gets on the bus. There are no seats! / [[The young man is standing and the old man and woman are sitting.]]
/ Narrator: 3. Young man gives up his seat. / Narrator: Today / [[A young mane and an old man are sitting on a bus.]]
/ Narrator: 1. Everyone sits on the bus. / [[Young man and shocked old man are sitting, woman is standing.]]
/ Narrator: 2. Young woman gets on bus. There are no seats! / [[Old man looking at young man, both still sitting. Woman is still standing.]]
/ Narrator: 3. Old man expects young man to give up seat. / [[Old man looking angrily at young man, both still sitting. Woman still standing.]]
/ Narrator: 4. Whatever, she can stand. / [[Young man and woman are sitting. Old man is standing.]]
/ Narrator: 5. Old man gives up his seat. But he is super old! / [[Young man standing. Old man and young woman sitting.]]
/ Narrator: 6. Young man gives up his seat. / {{Title text: Sometimes I am scared that I am only a feminist as an excuse to not give up my seat and open doors and stuff.}}
/ {{I had to make everyone in this comic white because in the days of chivalry we had worse problems.
/ Nice history of race relations, AMERICA. / In other news, I?d like to point you to the excellent comic Chain Bear.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/340 |
| Journal Comic: Pickup Lines | REAL PICKUP LINES I HAVE USED:
/ [[Sanjay (presumably) is standing there talking to us]] Sanjay: Hey, did you know my webcomic got 30,000 hits the other day you should be impressed.
/ Narration text: Number of times used: one / [[Girl in pink, frowning]]Narration text: Number of times successful: zero / {{title-text:That line would have totally worked with me.}}{{bottom-text: I got over 45,000 hits yesterday, and I can?t help but wonder if that would have been enough.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/341 |
| The Greatest Feminist Superhero | Wonder Woman is the greatest feminist superhero? Give me a break.
/ Oh yeah, you're a great feminist icon Diana. Way to motivate thousands of girls to freeze their legs off every Halloween trying to copy your ridiculous get-up.
/ I'm definitely not intimidated by women expressing their sexuality, if that's what you are trying to do, but don't you think it's a little hard to be taken seriously if you show up to a crime scene in a bathing suit?
/ I mean, unless you were in my line of work.
/ Sure, she's a strong woman, but being a strong woman in a matriarchy doesn't challenge restrictive gender roles, it reinforces them.
/ Meanwhile, who relentlessly advocated for equality in pay and an extension of paid maternity and paternity leave in Atlantis? This guy.
/ You know, sometimes I don't think I get taken seriously enough. / Aquaman: The Greatest Feminist Superhero / mouseover: Aquaman is probably really familiar with the WAVES of feminism, huh? / Footer: I can think of no better time to link to the amazing comic The Non-Adventures of Wonderella. / And I know I toss around words like ?amazing? and ?excellent? describing webcomics, but this is only because the internet is chock-a-block full of amazing and excellent webcomics. / That, incidentally, is how you Google bomb. / In other news, my friend Greg says he clicks on every link I put on my site. http://cowbirdsinlove.com/342 |
| Last Meal | Chef: What will you have for your last meal? / Guy: I guess I'd like a big steak and some pudding as comfort food. / Chef: Wrong! Poison! / Mouseover text: Not a usual last meal, but usually a last meal.
/ Below text: Pirate juice. http://cowbirdsinlove.com/343 |
| Cognitive Dissonance | If you ask me what my favorite bird is, I'd say the cowbird.
/ [[A male brown headed cowbird.]] / If you ask me what my favorite dinosaur is, I'd say the maiasaur.
/ [[A maiasaur and some maiasaur babies!]] / If you explain to me that evolutionarily birds are a kind of dinosaur and then ask me what my favorite dinosaur is, I'd say the penguin.
/ [[A penguin!]] / {{Mouseover: The Maiasaur is called the 'good mother lizard' because there is some evidence that they didn't just ditch their kids once they hatched. Clearly, the bar for dinosaur parenting is set pretty low.}} / {{Footer: Special thanks to Google Image Search to find good pictures to copy of these animals. They were on really cool websites. / Learn Bird Songs: You can hear what the brown-headed cowbird (my favorite kind of cowbird) sounds like. You can hear what other birds sound like too, and there are even some tips on how to teach yourself to recognize bird songs. / Montana Kids: Apparently the Maiasaur is the state fossil of Montana! Nice going, Montana. / Eckerd College Winter Term in Antarctica: Looks like these people had a really exciting (and maybe expensive) winter term. There are some wonderful pictures here, though I can't remember which one I used for the comic.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/344 |
| Be cool | [[Aditi by herself, looking glum]]
/ Narrator: Aditi wanted to be cool / [[Aditi looking at a little boy. The boy is surrounded by a group of friends]]
/ Narrator: When Aditi was just a litle girl, she noticed a little boy who had lots of friends / [[Little boy, in sunglasses]]
/ Narrator: HE was cool / [[Aditi in sunglasses]]
/ Narrator: From that day on, little Aditi decided she would be cool, too / Narrator: She tried everything / [[Aditi looking defiant]]
/ Narrator: Disobeying her parents!
/ Her Parents (off screen): Take out the trash!
/ Aditi: You're not the boss of me! / [[Aditi looking more defiant]]
/ Narrator: Staying out late at night!
/ Aditi: We can stay out past midnight!
/ Her Friend: Cool! / [[Aditi looks sad]]
/ Narrator: But it never worked out...
/ Her Parents (off screen): It's not a matter of being your boss. We just want you to get in the habit of fulfilling your responsibilities.
/ Aditi: OK. / [[Aditi is tired; her friend is confused]]
/ Aditi: *yawn* I guess it is time to go home.
/ Her Friend: It is only 9:30 / [[Aditi on her own]]
/ Narrator: Aditi would never be cool / [[Aditi hugging two friends]]
/ Narrator: But Aditi was kind and clever and funny.
/ Narrator: Aditi didn't need to be cool to have friends! / Narrator: She could have lots of friends just the way she was / {{Mouseover: But Aditi didn't want friends. She wanted to be cool.}}
/ {{Bottom: Mouseover punchline!}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/345 |
| Be Cool: Conclusion | Aditi really wanted to be cool. / Until one day...
/ Girl: Aditi, why are you trying so hard? You are the definition of cool /
/ Aditi didn't care about being cool if it was such a tautology
/ ---------------------------
/ {{Regular comic punchline!}} / {{Tautologies are statements that cannot logically be anything but true. Some schools of logic see them as meaningless or ridiculous. / Presumably, Aditi is in one of these schools.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/346 |
| Jesus at the show | Jesus: Hey, Gary
/ Person: Jesus, what are you doing here?
/ Background: Welcome to Banjothon 2008! / Jesus: I came to see the concert
/ Person: But you don't like this band. You said their last concert made you die a little inside
/ Background: Who's ready for 2 days of nonstop picking? / Jesus: I did die a little inside. And then I came back. That is my thing.
/ Background:< http://cowbirdsinlove.com/347 |
| Communion of Lil Saints | [[Some suckah in a bandana is trying to look tough.]]
/ Suckah: I'm the best breakdancer there is and tonight you suckahs are going to get served! / It's Jesus! / I thought he gave up dancing! / [[It's Jesus!]] / [[Jesus and the suckah have an epic stare-down.]]
/ Matthew 20:28
/ The son of man did not come to be served but to SERVE. / [[Jesus does an impressive break-dance move and the suckah looks on in shame and amazement.]] / Suckah: Okay, you won this time.
/ [[He gets all arms akimbo-y.]] / [[Suckah strikes a pose with his suckah dad.]
/ Suckah: But how about a rematch against me and my father!
/ Suckah Dad: We are both masters of breakdancing! / [[Jesus sizes up the situation. He doesn't look too worried.]]
/ There's no way he can do it!
/ Not both at once!
/ Matthew 6:24:
/ No one can serve two masters. / [[Guess again. Jesus does an amazing breakdance move while the two suckahs look on in awe.]]
/ Luke 4:12:
/ Do not put the Lord Your God to the test. / Served!
/ Served!
/ Served!
/ Served!
/ [[Two suckahs look down in shame. The shame of getting SERVED.]]
/ Joshua 24:19:
/ You are not able to serve the Lord. / {{Mouseover: 2 Samuel 16:19: Furthermore, whom should I serve? Should I not serve the son? Just as I served your father, so I will serve you.}} / {{Bottom: Sanjay, you are expecting your audience to have memorized the Bible and to have appreciated the movie You Got Served and both of those are pretty unlikely. / Also, I think at least a few of those quotes are taken out of context.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/348 |
| Devaluing the Pound | Narrator: The Merchant of Venice: / [[A man in green is being threatened by a man in blue, who is holding a blade.]]
/ Green: I'm not going to give you a pound of flesh, Shylock.
/ Blue: It's not like you can't spare a few, Tubby.
/ Narrator: The first human interest story. / {{Title text: We could look at The Merchant of Venice as a metaphor for today's global economic where Shylock is the bank that gives out bad loans that can't possible be paid back and Antonio is the consumer that is gullible enough to take that loan but let's}}
/ {{Bottom: There are so many sites I want to share with you from the big ol' internet: / Abby and Norma
/ I used to read this comic but accidentally lost its URL. I thought I would never see it again but it was advertising on Thinkin' Lincoln and we were reunited. It's kind of nerdy and has a fond regard for puns, so if you like that in a comic, maybe you should check it out. / Subnormality
/ Subnormality just gives and gives and gives. The comic updates weekly, and how the writer comes up with enough ideas to keep that up is amazing. It's funny, clever and, if it matters to you, well drawn. / HappyLoo
/ I mentioned this comic in the RSS feed but I thought it deserved main page treatment. There's a few completed stories up already and it reads really quickly, so why don't you check it out. / IsItFunnyToday
/ I mentioned this site to the Facebook group. It is a voting site for comics and it is a good way to find new ones to love. You can also vote for the comics you already like so as to enforce your opinion on others. / And if you really like your opinion, you can also leave your comments on any webcomic there.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/349 |
| Explosion-proof refrigerator | Concerned friend: An explosion-proof refrigerator is just a refrigerator used for storing volatile chemicals that is specially wired to reduce the likelihood of sparks from the fridge igniting said volatile chemicals. / [[Sanjay is standing behind a refrigerator. He has a detonator wired to '10 megatonnes of explosives'. His concerned friend is a safe distance away.]]
/ Sanjay: 10, 9, 8, 7, / Concerned friend: Sanjay, I know it sort of seems like this should work, but trust me. Standing behind that fridge will not protect you from explosions! / [[The countdown continues...]]
/ Sanjay: 6,5,4,3, / Concerned friend: Think about what you are doing! / [[The detonator is pressed.]] < http://cowbirdsinlove.com/350 |
| Pretty intelligent | [[Woman in blue and woman in red.]]
/ Blue: Would you rather not be intelligent or not be beautiful? / [[Woman in red, scratching head.]]
/ Red: Well, gee, I really don't know. / Red: They are both such important parts of who I am that I really can't decide! / [[Woman in blue shooting woman in red with a ray gun.]]
/ Blue: Well, now you don't have to! / [[Woman in red, disfigured.]] / Red: I don't get it / {{Title text: THAT'S RIGHT if you didn't get this joke I am calling you ugly.}} / {{Footer: I never understood the fascination with women and weapons, but a woman that invents her own ray gun is pretty hot in my book.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/351 |
| Career Suicide | [[Two men on top of a building.]]
/ Blue man: Don't jump!
/ Blue man: It is career suicide!
/ Green man: No, it just regular suicide
/ Blue man: Isn't it both?
/ Green man: Nope.
/ [[Green man jumps off building, lands, and dies. Ghost ascends to the top of the building.]]
/ Green man: I want a raise
/ {{Mouseover: Working nine to five, what a way to make a DYING}}
/ {{Bottom: Special thanks to pictures for sad children for breaking the spooky ceiling keeping ghosts out of the workplace. Special thanks to Order of the Stick for this joke.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/352 |
| A shared moment in a lonely world | Narrator: As I stop my car I notice a girl in the car in front of me bobbing her head exactly in time with my music. Our songs are exactly the same tempo.
/ Narrator: Clearly we were meant to be together
/ Narrator: I get out and approach / [[Two cars, stopped right by each other]]
/ Narrator: As I stop my car I notice a boy in the car behind me getting out of his. When he opens his door I notice the root note of his music is exactly half a note from mine
/ Narrator: Clearly we were meant to never be together / [[One car speeding off, away from the other car and a boy outside the car]]
/ Car: VROOM! / {{Mouseover: Should have backed up instead.}}
/ {{Bottom: If you ever meet someone playing "In Da Club" while you are playing "Dancing Queen"
/ you really should pursue that relationship because the two of you would be beautiful together ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaS_1Oq5Y7g ).}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/353 |
| Picturing you naked | Yes, sometimes I picture you naked. / It's only because I saw you naked and it was amazing. / If I saw you turn into a flying dolphin or something I would picture you as a flying dolphin. / [[Oh man this is a friggin' sweet flying rainbow dolphin. You have no idea.]]
/ Amazing!
/ A flying naked dolphin. / {{I'm kind of wondering right now what doesn't look awesome with a black and rainbow background.}} / {{Anyway, the CDC probably couldn't stand another flying mammal, because those guys are trouble. / Always spreading rabies and turning into vampires and stuff. }} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/354 |
| Becoming a social outcast | Kid: Well, you'll probably be a total social outcast but hey, at least now you can get a better understanding of The Hunchback of Notre Dame / Narrator: At my school, all the cool kids took Spanish / [[Sad kid, wearing beret and holding French flag]]
/ Sad Kid: Je suis un monstre / {{Mouseover: French Honor Society REPRESENT}}
/ {{Bottom: I guess at this point I have to explain that I have nothing against people with severe kyphosis.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/355 |
| Making Love | [[Lone man, holding a heart, looking sad]]
/ Narrator: You can't make people fall in love / [[Zoom out, to show the lone man surrounded by happy couples. In the depictions of happy couples, one girl is overjoyed to receive a gift of flowers as large as her head.]]
/ Narrator: Everyone else can though / {{Mouseover: This is probably why the genie in Disney's Alladin never had a romantic interest.}}
/ {{Bottom: That flower is as big as that girl's head!}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/356 |
| Blind date | Date: This is the best blind date I've been on. When can I see you again?
/ Scientist: Well, that really isn't up to me.
/ Date: What?
/ Scientist: That's the protocol.
/ Date: Tell me your name at least.
/ Scientist: Do you have any regard for experimental rigor?!
/ Double blind date / {{Mouseover: How did you find me anyway? I better have been chosen randomly.}} / {{Footer: I hope today's comic wasn't too xkcdish. I know Randall Munroe doesn't have sole dominion over the intersection between science and romance, but what you don't know is that both characters are secretly Summer Glau for some inexplicable reason.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/357 |
| Heartbreak and Creativity Part 2 | [[William of Occam is on the phone to a girl, his old flame]]
/ Occam: Hey, this is William.
/ Girl (over phone): William who?
/ Occam: William of Occam! Don't you remember me? / Occam: We could have had a successful relationship but we couldn't be together because I had to get my Masters in Theology and you had to pursue your own career. / Occam (over phone): Well, I've dropped out of my Masters program so now we can be together
/ Girl: I'm sorry, William, I had assumed you stopped existing
/ Occam (over phone): What? / Girl: Well, it seemed a lot more parsimonious to imagine you had stopped existing than to imagine some entirely separate place with you in it. I thought you would understand / [[Occam is outraged]]
/ Occam: What! The principles of parsimony are a lot more than some lame justification not to develop object permanence!
/ Girl (over phone): Why, are they more complicated?
/ Occam: Yes! / Girl: There's your problem. Don't call again / [[Occam is crushed by what he's hearing]]
/ Girl (over phone): I think that would be more parsimonious for the both of us / {{Mouseover: Look at that continuity!}}
/ {{Bottom: I've always thought of my William of Occam ( http://cowbirdsinlove.com/155 ) as sort of a persona character for me, and for those of you that know that, don't worry, I didn't drop out of anything.
/ William of Occam, the inventor of Occam's Razor, was a masters school dropout for real.
/ And this was before Kanye, so it was before it was cool to do.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/358 |
| Heartbreak and Creativity Part 3 | [[This comic is the same as http://cowbirdsinlove.com/358 -- but with added narrator comments]] / [[William of Occam is on the phone to a girl, his old flame]]
/ Occam: Hey, this is William.
/ Narrator: Anachronism #1: While the word "hey" did exist in the 1300s, William of Occam was probably too proper to use it on the phone.
/ Girl (over phone): William who?
/ Occam: William of Occam! Don't you remember me? / Occam: We could have had a successful relationship but we couldn't be together because I had to get my Masters in Theology and you had to pursue your own career.
/ Narrator: Anachronism #2: In the 1300s, Franciscan monks were not allowed to date regardless of their grad school situation. / Occam (over phone): Well, I've dropped out of my Masters program so now we can be together
/ Girl: I'm sorry, William, I had assumed you stopped existing
/ Occam (over phone): What? / Girl: Well, it seemed a lot more parsimonious to imagine you had stopped existing than to imagine some entirely separate place with you in it. I thought you would understand
/ Narrator: Anachronism #3: People did not make ridiculous assumptions in the 1300s. / [[Occam is outraged]]
/ Occam: What! The principles of parsimony are a lot more than some lame justification not to develop object permanence!
/ Girl (over phone): Why, are they more complicated?
/ Occam: Yes!
/ Narrator: Anachronism #4: As a monk, William of Occam's reflex save was probably too high to get caught in such a simple trap. / Girl: There's your problem. Don't call again
/ Narrator: Anachronism #5: No woman could refuse William of Occam. / [[Occam is crushed by what he's hearing; he is drawn as a head and torso only]]
/ Girl (over phone): I think that would be more parsimonious for the both of us
/ Narrator: Anachronism #6: Historically, William of Orange had feet and a nose. / {{Mouseover: Anachronism #7: If William of Occam and this woman had the same cell phone provider, the unlimited free calling would have been too much to resist.}}
/ {{Bottom: Anachronism #8: In the 1300s, the life expectancy was lower than the length of a conversation.}} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/359 |
| The Older Brother (Guest Comic) | [[The comic is clearly all drawn in MS Paint]] / [[Shyam is a disembodied grinning head]]
/ Shyam: Hello, I'm Sanjay's older brother! I'll be taking over the comic for a couple days while Sanjay studies for his med school exams. / Shyam the Narrator: This is finally the chance for an older brother to shine. Until now, all history shows the poor fate of older brothers. Let me show you some examples. / [[Stickman 1 is walking up stairs]]
/ Shyam the Narrator: Happy Days
/ Stickman 2: Now that Chuck is gone, lets all go see the Fonz!
/ Stickmen 3, 4, 5 & 6: Yay!!!! / [[Sox logo, Cubs logo]]
/ Shyam the Narrator: In Chicago Sports
/ Sox: We won a world series within 100 years!!!
/ Cubs: Uhh... we have ivy... / [[Shyam the stickman, to stickwoman]]
/ Shyam the Narrator: Even me...
/ Shyam the Stickman: Girl, you're so refined, you're perfect in every subgame...
/ Stickwoman: I've heard nerdier pickup lines on Cowbirds in Love! / Shyam the Narrator: But now I finally turn the tide... Tomorrow! to be continued... / {{Mouseover: Shyam was going to put in a panel about Duke and Lt. Falcon from GI Joe but he realized no one would be able to tell who it was.}}
/ {{Bottom: Shyam was kind of rushed drawing this, so don't judge his art too harshly. But if you judged art too harshly you probably wouldn't be here.
/ -Sanjay }} http://cowbirdsinlove.com/360 |
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