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Speak Softly for your information, the purpose of my penis enlargement surgery was to improve my self-esteem, not to be stared at by strangers.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=45
Slippery Slopes A: i can't help but feel there should be more to life than this... / B: are you saying you want me to call more friends?
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=46
Bootstraps hey you fucking bum, can't you find your bootstraps?
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=55
Elder Care fortunately, no matter how bad the economy gets, we can always make money swindling money from old people.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=57
Baby Talk the world is vicious and cruel, so never trust anybody, never back down from a fight, and most importantly, never let them know that deep inside you're really just a scared little baby.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=58
 
Born Ready maybe i should be more concerned, but it's so much cheaper than buying him toys.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=59
Holiday Drunk of course there's no god, but i for one wouldn't say that in this job market.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=60
Almost Painless i'm 100% committed to our suicide pact, but maybe we should try and find a more efficient way?
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=61
Facts Of Life trust me son, a woman will tell you she is on the pill, but she is only trying to trick you into a mistake you will absolutely always regret.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=62
Distant Cure it's sad that nobody wants to help cure cancer. (for sale: my virginity; proceeds donated to help cure cancer; current bid: $0.00; end time: 1 minute)
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=63
 
Three Little Words i love you.* / *said to many women before, all who now consistently deny his friend requests.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=64
Overdid It he was incredibly smart, yet had no idea you can overdose on penis enlargement pills.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=73
Clowning Around you have to ignore someone so desperate for attention, otherwise they'll just do crazier and crazier things.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=75
One In A Million respect a man who will never conform.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=80r
Phenomenon by the way she reacted, you would have thought i was bald.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=81
 
Scary Story ...and then the evil talk radio hosts convinced all the hopeless people their guns would soon be taken away, so the hopeless people gathered together their firearms and raced out into the streets, slaughtering anybody who looked like they might enjoy reading books.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=82
Beach Bunny all i ask is that you treat me exactly like you would if i were a sexy young woman desperately in need of a friend.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=83
Happily Forever i hate to be a pest, but you still haven't told me what you think about open relationships.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=84
Apple A Day in our efforts to be more compassionate, uninsured patients can now pay for their chemotherapy in blow jobs.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=85
The Apprentice if you're lucky, one day you'll have a son of your own to help you make the most awesome dating profile on the entire internet.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=86
 
Friends For Life i'd unfriend you jerks on facebook, but i don't know if i could survive without the insight and wisdom of your constant status updates.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=87
Player Hater i'll wait for the economy to recover, but then i'm gonna yell at you to get a job.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=93
Tree Hugging the more people i fucked, the less i felt loved, but then i gave my heart to the most amazing houseplant.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=94
Gun Show we'll give you our gun when you take it from our cold, dead hands.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=150
Spider Woman you assume it's easy to get a boyfriend, just like you assume it's easy to live without tarantulas.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=152
 
Loving It for you it's a career, but for me it's just a paycheck so i can pursue my true passion of getting high.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=154
Body Artist it takes more to impress a man whose penis is mounted up on his living room wall.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=155
Class Confrontation A: you're a socialist because you're my worker, yet you've always wanted to be a dancer. / B: you're a capitalist because you're my boss, yet you've always wanted to be an asshole.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=156
Miracle Of Life there really is just nothing sexier than motherhood.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=157
Even Better i'm definitely not disappointed, but from reading your personal ad i just assumed you were human.
http://thebadchemicals.com/?p=159
 

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