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06. cloud country: 091 Someone told me once, that clouds reflect memories. I don't remember who it was, or why they said that. As we sail through banks of cloud piled high in the manner of forests, or countryside, the words appear in my mind, like mountains through fog; clouds reflect memories. / 'Oh,' the fisherman's voice...
06. cloud country: 092 'Okay,' the fisherman says, after a while, 'that'll stop it bleeding. I'm not going to ask how you broke off all your nails. Maybe you should cut them more often.' / 'I stuck them in someone's neck,' Valentine says. / 'THAT IS NOT VERY POLITE,' the fisherman remarks. / 'I didn't like him,' Valentine...
06. cloud country: 093 'Be careful not to look at the clouds for too long,' the fisherman warns. / 'I know they're pretty, and sometimes they look awfully familiar and remind you of things and places you've seen before--' / 'But people don't always remember good things. Or they spend too /long/ remembering good things, and...
06. cloud country: 094 It is true that the clouds remind me of things no longer here -- Ganymar's scarf, the long necks of white horses, the Lady's elegant hair -- I see the clouds, and remember these things. But I feel no danger from remembering these things, nor from the clouds themselves. / Before they fell asleep, I saw...
06. cloud country: 095 Things I know about the fisherman: likes blowing fish up and keeping boats clean. / Things I know about Valentine: was a door, looks like a monster if you squint, is an un-gentleman, has (at least) three siblings, fought in a war, made me (to replace Eira?), and was Eira's friend. / If your friend...
 
06. cloud country: 096 Reading a memory is exactly like reading a book; you close your eyes (here) and open them (there) in another place. But I don't know how many pages I've skipped. / When I open my eyes, I'm already at the part where I was in the desert, and a demon on a motorcycle was asking me, 'No seriously, what the...
06. cloud country: 097 'I'm not supposed to let anyone leave the desert.' (/Why/? I ask, but memory is only one-way, and my memory-self does not answer.) 'So I don't think I can tell you.' / 'You could help me and say you didn't,' the demon offered generously. 'Or, you could help me, and I won't eat you. How's that for a...
06. cloud country: 098 'Well holy shit,' the demon said, 'you're a golem. A talking golem.' / 'What's wrong with that?' I asked. / 'Sweetheart, everyone knows golems can't talk,' the demon said. 'If golems could talk, it means they might have souls. And golems can't have souls--' / 'Why not?' / 'If golems had souls, they'd...
06. cloud country: 099 'Allow no one to leave the desert,' Lord D'Urfe had said. He /hadn't/ said, 'Don't give useful navigational tools away to random demons,' so I wasn't really disobeying his orders. / But if I can never disobey Lord D'Urfe, my memory-self wondered, does this mean I don't have a soul? / 'What's a soul...
06. cloud country: 100 'I don't know, actually,' the demon said. 'I figured it's something people made up to look forward to when they die.' / 'I'm sorry,' I said. 'Did you know him? He tried to eat me, so I tied him by the neck to the tree until he stopped.' / But the demon was looking at the sigil on the tree, not at the...
 
06. cloud country: 101 'I thought demons were supposed to care about each other,' I said. / 'I'd be kind of sad if something happened to my family?' the demon offered. 'But they're pretty indestructible...' / 'C'mon,' he said. 'Let's get going.' / The compass said to go down, so that's where we went; down through the caverns,...
06. cloud country: 102 'This is really embarrassing,' the demon said. 'Whatever gets said in this tunnel, stays in the tunnel, OK? Here you go.' / 'But this is not a family,' I said, 'these are pictures of people--' / 'My big brother,' the demon said. 'The one who's always smiling. It's like he /enjoyed/ taking care of sis...
06. cloud country: 103 'Mum wasn't around much, to be honest,' the demon said. 'One day she turned up and was like, look, actually I have these really amazing arcane powers; why don't I pass them on to all of you! Then your poor brother can get some rest, because you'll be able to take care of yourselves. / 'Of course she...
06. cloud country: 104 'You said I'd get a soul if I could do it!' / 'Yeah, well,' the demon said, 'sorry. You can't trust everyone you meet.' / But he did not leave although now he knew the way out of the desert. For a very long time he sat down and smoked, watching the land beyond the desert, and in the sky, you could...
06. cloud country: 105 'A golem and a demon riding along together,' I heard the demon say, beside me. 'What is it, All Fool's Day already?' / '/We're/ a golem and a demon,' I pointed out. / 'Well, you and I don't count, we obviously suck at being enemies,' the demon said. 'I mean, that demon's one of Kai's generals, the...
 
06. cloud country: 106 (Distantly, I remember, Ganymar will die in a secret base by the sea; should I warn him never to go there? But I can't share that knowledge with my memory-self, any more than you can talk to a man in a book that's already been written.) / I waved, waiting for him to see me and wave back / but truly,...
06. cloud country: 107 Somewhere else, I remembered, I've seen him die, and I felt nothing. But here he was not even hurt (yet), and already my memory-self called out across the desert, as if in pain. It echoed like the cry of the kestrel being left behind. (That's the first memory I have of despair and worry; a memory not...
06. cloud country: 108 'But they'll leave the desert,' I said. / 'Let them,' Nyk replied. 'Our lord calls for us all, even you. Ganymar would not have come himself, otherwise--' / 'Excuse us a second,' the demon said. / 'OK,' he said, whispering, 'it has occurred to me that if your master finds out, you might get in trouble...
06. cloud country: 109 'If I see you again I'll give it back to you, maybe one day when the war's over... How about that?' / But here the story ends, as if its author had had to leave in a great hurry. With difficulty, I remember: as real as the desert felt, I'm on a ship. And as demonic as this creature was, and apparently,...
06. cloud country: 110 I believe he is confusing people with lemmings. But I have a more urgent question for this moment: / (here: what do you see?) / 'A goose!' he says. 'You keep on goddamn pecking and hissing at me, it's like my destiny is intertwined with poultry. / 'OK, so maybe way back, once, I looked at you and...
 
06. cloud country: 111 'Looks like it'll be light soon,' Valentine says. 'Better wake the little captain up to see if we're still on course.' / He moves away, but as I listen, his footsteps pause after a very short while. / 'Here: why don't you keep this' / 'I don't need it, really,
06. cloud country: 112 '/I/ like to keep my memories with me.' / Even if I accept Eira's old possessions -- compass, name, and memories -- I will remain myself (only a little heavier). But I think I should not tell this to Valentine; / like a man who has been carrying a heavy weight for a long time, suddenly releasing it...
06. cloud country: 113 from 'overcast, slight chance of rain' to 'furious white tiger'. / It must be hard to keep a Valentine down, though; in only a few seconds he is shouting in reply: 'No, no, go away, sod off! I am not in danger and I never asked for reinforcements! What are you /doing/ here?'
06. cloud country: 114 'Must I only be here to help /you/?' the tiger asks testily. 'You never change, Saint Valentine.' / 'I am here for a friend,' it continues to say, 'not you. The battalion approaching to starboard -- /they/ are looking for you. You should concern yourself with that.' / 'These guys looking for me?' Valentine...
06. cloud country: 115 'No worries,' the tiger says. 'Saint Valentine is invincible; you ought to be indigestible as well.' / Indeed, the tiger seems not at all concerned for Valentine, and much more concerned about the fisherman, whom it has padded over to. / 'So what's up, pussycat?' Valentine calls out carelessly. 'Is...
 
06. cloud country: 116 'Saint Valentine Liosbri,' the tiger says, 'is invincible, but never cruel. Why do you start, now?' / 'I'm not invincible,' Valentine says. 'I know, it's gonna make headlines. But there's this /army/ coming at me, and I've got a friend with me, and I'm not invincible now... / 'So how about you help...
07. the winter meadows: 117 As the ship from the city of desire coasts away from the final edges of cloud country, it seems that the clouds which have kept it such close company have grown fond of it over its journey, and wish to embrace it, and keep it from leaving. But it is too late; the ship has made up its mind to go. / 'My...
07. the winter meadows: 118 'There's barely enough space on this cloud for us,' the tiger says. 'Anyway, who knows. It might even be happy to see its old friends again, eh?' / 'OK, I'm sorry, I'm a horrible friend, my Duck is better than me,' Valentine says testily. 'So what now?' / 'Now -- down,' the tiger says. 'That shouldn't...
07. the winter meadows: 119 'No,' the tiger agrees. / 'Great,' Valentine says. 'So if you don't mind, wanna help me figure out a way to get both of them down?' / The tiger's solution is swift, and incredibly decisive.
07. the winter meadows: 120 It occurs to me at this point in time that everyone (for example: me) is tied to everything else (for example: the ground) by a host of possibilities. For example, falling; and eventually, meeting. / These are not relaxing examples. I try to think of other possibilities. / Why is there a limit to the...
 

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