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| Hittin' the Bar | [[Phillips at a bar]]
/ Bartender: What'll it be, bub? / Phillips: Water please. / Bartender: Just water? / Phillips: Yea...on the rocks / {{Caption: Who you callin' 'bub', bub?}}
/ {{Alt-Text: You can make anything sound legit by saying 'on the rocks' after it.}}
/ {{February 15, 2010}} http://pincesandphillips.com/61.php |
| Dark Pinces | [[Phillips on a couch watching TV]]
/ Phillips: Hey what's up Pinces?
/ Dark Pinces: I am not the Pinces you know. It is I - / Dark Pinces: DARK PINCES! / Phillips: Oh nice to meet you. Want some pizza?
/ Dark Pinces: ONLY IF IT'S MADE FROM THE SOULDS OF INNOCENTS! / Phillips: I think it's just Hawaiian.
/ Dark Pinces: OOooh pineapple! / {{February 19, 2010}}
/ {{Caption: He farts bats}}
/ {{Alt-Text: Pineapple on pizza - a divisive issue if there ever was one.}} http://pincesandphillips.com/62.php |
| How Dastardly! | Phillips: Oh hey, Dark Pinces. Whatcha workin' on?
/ Dark Pinces: A deadly virus which I intend to unleash on all the capitals of the world. / Dark Pinces: Yesss...From Toronto to Sydney ? humanity shall wilt before my invisible onslaught! / Phillips: My goodness! / Phillips: I think you mean ?From Ottawa to Canberra? / {{February 22, 2010}}
/ {{Alt-text:South Africa has separate judicial, executive and legislative capitals. Dark Pinces has agents in all of them.}}
/ {{Caption: Must have missed that day of villain school.}} http://pincesandphillips.com/63.php |
| Two Approaches | Alan: So look, I - I think the world of you. You're smart, funny, beautiful and just - just amazing. I'd really like to spend more time with you. / Girl: Aw, thanks Alan. That's really sweet. Let's get lunch sometime, ok? / [[At a party]]
/ Guy: Hey babe let's take some shots, banter a little and then make out.
/ Girl:*Giggle* / [[Guy and girl making out, Alan sees and is schocked]] / {{Februar 26, 2010}}
/ {{Caption: Two Results}}
/ {{Alt-Text: Banter works wonders!}} http://pincesandphillips.com/64.php |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://pincesandphillips.com/a65.php">http://pincesandphillips.com/a65.php | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Boots and Shorts | [[Regina wearing boots and shorts]]
/ Phillips: There has to be a booty shorts joke in here somewhere...
/ {{Alt-text: Regina delights in frustrating Phillips' urge to make snide remarks}}
/ {{Caption: Must. Think. Harder.}}
/ {{March 5, 2010}} http://pincesandphillips.com/66.php |
| Portrait of Pinces as a Young Man | Pinces: I had better start being more careful about what I say. / Phillips: Wh-
/ Pinces: In preparation for when I became a SIGNIFICANT PERSON. / Pinces: Then my every word will be dissected. Even the words I spoke before coming to prominence will be analyzed. For example: THESE WORDS I AM SPEAKING NOW. / Phillips: What makes you so sure you will be a person of significance?
/ Pinces: Phillips, do you ask the sun how it knows it will rise? / {{March 8, 2010}}
/ {{Caption: Here's one for the internet archaeologists}}
/ {{Alt-text:Yea me and the sun shoot the breeze all the time bro.}} http://pincesandphillips.com/67.php |
| Masters of Villainy | Phillips: Hey Dark Pinces! Whatcha workin' on?
/ Dark Pinces: My dissertation on villainy. / Dark Pinces: It's about the Joker in The Dark Knight and his carefully crafted image. I argue that although he claims to be an agent of chaos, the Joker is really a meticulous - / Phillips: *yawn*
/ Dark Pinces: Insolence! / Dark Pinces: I will destroy you with my masters degree! / {{March 12, 2010}}
/ {{Caption: That's the standard issue laptop for Villain School.}}
/ {{Alt-Text: Joker Logistics, LLC - there's a company I'd invest in.}} http://pincesandphillips.com/68.php |
| IFLAN | Phillips: Yesterday, I accidentally knocked a glass of water off a table / Phillips: But I caught it in midair / Phillips: No one noticed, so I whispered ?Hi-ya!? / Phillips: I felt like a ninja. / {{March 15, 2010}}
/ {{Caption: Move over FML, MLIA.
/ {{Alt-Text: Example: 'I wrapped myself in a black sheet and crept down the hallway of my dorm. IFLAN.'}} http://pincesandphillips.com/69.php |
| Comparative | Phillips: I can't believe Fox cancelled 24 / Phillips: I wonder what Kiefer Sutherland will do now. / [[Silence]] / Pinces: Do you suppose there is a Kiefest Sutherland? / {{March 22, 2010}}
/ {{Caption: So much Kiefer than...}}
/ {{Alt-Text:I feel sorry for Kief Sutherland.}} http://pincesandphillips.com/70.php |
| Diocletian Comics | [[In 284AD, the Roman empire had not seen a peaceful transfer of power in 50 years]]
/ Roman Guy: I am emperor!
/ Roman Guy 2: No, I am! / [[To ensure a smooth transfer of power the emperor Diocletian adopted his best friend Maximian as his son and successor]]
/ Diocletian: So listen, Maximian, I want to adopt you.
/ Maximian: That is totally normal in this day and age. / [[Pinces in bed, Phillips sitting on a chair reading to him. The books says ?Roman Empire Bedtime Stories]]
/ Phillips: Wow ? Diocletian and Maximian must have had a really weird relationship. / Pinces: Totally weird. / {{March 27, 2010}}
/ {{Caption: No cookies after brushing your teeth, Pinces.}}
/ {{Alt-Text: Also, Maximian, we need to talk about how you wear your toga. It looks like a cape right now.}} http://pincesandphillips.com/71.php |
| Diocletian Comics 2 | Architect A: Emperor Diocletian, exactly how big do you want your retirement palace to be? / Diocletian: Geez, I dunno. / Diocletian: Like big enough to become a free-standing city after I die or something. / Architect B: Told you so. / {{Caption: And so, the city of Split, Croatia...}}
/ {{Alt-text: Diocletian don't mess around.}}
/ {{March 29, 2010}} http://pincesandphillips.com/72.php |
| Lame Joke Comics | Phillips: I don't really like pudding.
/ Pinces: Would you say that you find it... / Pinces: OFF-PUDDIN'? /
/ Phillips: I have an ear infection.
/ Pinces: Oh. I'm sorry to... / Pinces: HEAR that /
/ Regina: I bought a pair of tights today.
/ Phillips: I guess you're... / Phillips: EXPANDING your wardrobe. / Regina: ... / {{Caption: We're punstoppable}}
/ {{Alt-Text: I'm not sure if that can be properly called a pun, Phillips.}}
/ {{April 04, 2010}} http://pincesandphillips.com/73.php |
| Just to be clear | Girl: Pinces, would you go out with me?
/ Pinces: No. / Pinces: Why? Because I was made in China?
/ Pinces: No, no! Of course not! / Pinces: I'm not rejecting any single aspect of you. / Pinces: I'm rejecting you as a whole. / {{Alt-Text: Got all my bases covered}}
/ {{Caption: I'm glad we had this conversation}}
/ {{April 09. 2010}} http://pincesandphillips.com/74.php |
| Lap it up, Fuzzball | Pinces: There is one part of your body that you can make appear and disappear at will! / Pinces: YOUR LAP! / [[Sitting down]]
/ Pinces: Allow me to demonstrate with this lap dog that is on my lap. / [[Standing up with the dog still stuck to his lap-area]]
/ Pinces: Where is he now?! His very identity as a lap dog is called into question! / {{April 17, 2010}}
/ {{Alt-text: Can we simply make stealth bombers out of our laps? Then we will only need to train people to remain standing.}}
/ {{Caption: There must be a military application for this discovery.}} http://pincesandphillips.com/75.php |
| A Liberal Arts Education | Phillips: Ugh, my Women & Gender Studies class is killing me.
/ Pinces: Which one is it? / Phillips: Women & Gender Studies 36: Gender, Space and Islam / [[Thought bubble: A female Muslim astronaut]]
/ Pinces: Go on... / [[Caption: Awesome overload]]
/ [[Alt-text: It's actually a topical course called 'Gender and Space', so each time it's offered it looks at gender, space AND something. Right now that something is Islam, but maybe some day it will be dinosaurs? ]]
/ {{April 25, 2010}}
/ ___________ http://pincesandphillips.com/76.php |
| Great Expectations | [[Pinces in a football helmet and a blanket draped over him, clutching pillows]]
/ I was led to believe there would be pillow fights / {{Caption: This would make a great recurring nightmare.}}
/ {{Alt-Text: So it's a bit hard to explain how Pinces and Phillips manipulate objects in their environment. Telekinesis perhaps?}}
/ {{May 1, 2010}} http://pincesandphillips.com/77.php |
| Yo Things Change | Phillips: Regina, could I borrow your ID to go to the store?
/ Regina: That won't work. / Regina: The guy will be like, ?You don't look like a Regina?
/ Phillips: I'll just say, ?Well, I've gotten much taller and manlier since this picture was taken.? / Phillips: ?And also more muscular.? / Phillips: ?Much more muscular.? / {{Caption: 'And also I have grown a beard'}}
/ {{May 9, 2010}}
/ {{Alt-Text: Yo Phillips what are you buying anyway?}} http://pincesandphillips.com/78.php |
| THe Urinal Dilemma | The Urinal Dilemma
/ [[Three urinals, far right is being used. The far left is the kids' urinal}} / {{Caption: Seriously, what's the protocol here?}}
/ {{Alt-Text: Your only move is to use a stall.}}
/ {{May 16, 2010}} http://pincesandphillips.com/79.php |
| Complementary Goods | Graph of Units sold vs. Year of Boats and Boat Shoes.
/ They are linked until about 2005 when Boat Shoe sales go through the roof. / {{Caption: Damn, was it those hipsters again?}}
/ {{Alt-text: Dartmouth has contributed to this in no small way.}}
/ {{May 24, 2010}} http://pincesandphillips.com/80.php |
| Quickie Comics | [[You are not very helpful]]
/ Phillips: I lost my voice.
/ Pinces: Have you tried retracing your steps? / Pinces: It's always in the last place you look. / [[What do you think of this sombrero?]]
/ Phillips: Pinces, let me be frank. / Phillips: I'd rather you be yourself / {{Caption: All this "Let me be frank" business is really getting to Frank's head.}}
/ {{Alt-text: Can you handle me the way I are?}} http://pincesandphillips.com/81.php |
| Quantities and language | Phillips: Skydiving? I'm not TOO keen on that. / [[Looking like a daredevil]]
/ Phillips: I am just the right amount of keen. / [[Phillips falling out a plane]]
/ Phillips: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH / Caption: The feeling is 50% mutual.
/ Alt-text: 'You're more of a bitch than a bitch' Dr. Dre
/ Jun 24, 2010 http://pincesandphillips.com/82.php |
| Pinces & Phillips in Shanghai | Caption: Pinces & Phillips make appearances in two guestbooks throughout Shanghai!
/ July 12, 2010
/ Alt-text: In the top photo Phillips is saying: wow this is really good! Pinces is just gawking. http://pincesandphillips.com/83.php |
| Pinces & Phillips in Shanghai - Part 2 | Phillips: Do you know any Shanghainese?
/ Pinces: No... / Pinces: ...but I do know some Shanghai ankles. / Caption: It works better read aloud.
/ Alt-Text: And some Shanghai elbows. The Shanghai knees are the best though. / July 18, 2010 http://pincesandphillips.com/84.php |
| Credibility Inflation | [[Pinces and phillips looking at the poster for the movie Secretariat. Tag line: The Impossible True Story]]
/ Phillips: Used to be, true stories only had to be incredible. / Caption: When I was your age...
/ Alt-text: ...movie tag lines weren't oxymorons. / July 25, 2010 http://pincesandphillips.com/85.php |
| Allergies | Pinces: Why so glum, Phillips? / Phillips: Eh, I was supposed to have a romantic night with Regina, but she had an allergic reaction to the dill in a dip I made. Kind of killed the mood. / Pinces: Sounds like it was a DILLBREAKER. / Phillips: Have you ever noticed that you make puns like that at about the same time every week? / August 16, 2010
/ Caption: Except for the past 2 or 3 weeks :(
/ Alt-text: If P & P look funny it's because I haven't been drawing them in a while :(...also this is not Pinces' good side http://pincesandphillips.com/86.php |
| Good News | [[Computer Screen close up]]
/ Spam email: good news! 15% off viagara1!!
/ [[Mouse hovers over delete and clicks]] / [[See Phillips working at the computer]] / [[Close up of the screen. It says: Vacation Message Set]] / [[Phillips munching on cereal]]
/ TV (Unseen): Now for the good news / [[Phillips gazing at the TV]]
/ Newscaster: Celebrities are adopting more babies than ever! / [[Remote in front of the TV with the screen going blank]]
/ Click! / [[Shot of Phillips on his way out the door]] / [[Shot of Phillips walking down the street with a pack on]] / Evangelist on a soap box: Have you heard the good news, son? / [[Phillips keeps walking]]
/ Evangelist: REPENT! / [[Phillips walking, leaving tracks]]
/ The good news is...
/ ...the world is big... / [[Passing by a valley and mountains]]
/ ...and beautiful.. / [[Coming out of a tent]]
/ ...and sometimes... / [[Wide view of ledges overlooking the sunrise over the sea]]
/ ...quiet too. / August 31, 2010
/ Alt-text: The most epic P&P yet!
/ Caption: Good news! It's a new comic! http://pincesandphillips.com/87.php |
| TALA* | Phillips: Dude check out this video. It is BADASS. / Pinces: Oh man that is TBAFW!!!!* (TOO BADASS FOR WORDS) / Phillips: BNBAEFAA!* (But not badass enough for an acronym) / Alan: TTAAI*(Technically these are all initialisms) /
/ Caption: *THANKS A LOT ALAN
/ Alt-Text: At some point this ceases to be a useful way of shortening phrases...I have yet to see that point. / September 14, 2010 http://pincesandphillips.com/88.php |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://pincesandphillips.com/89.php?ref=nf">http://pincesandphillips.com/89.php?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://pincesandphillips.com/90.php?ref=nf">http://pincesandphillips.com/90.php?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |