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| 31 | Did you know lasting happiness and fulfillment in life comes from severing others? / Ohh, ok. I?m running low on food so can you buy me pizza, and on
/ your way back pick up my laundry? Ohh, and clean up the bathroom. That taco just went through me. / No!
/ Fine. I tried to make you happy and fulfilled... http://comicideas.com/31 |
| 32 | I got 4th place
/ I got first. / Don?t be jeleous that I?m better than you at being average. http://comicideas.com/32 |
| 33 | I have a short joke for you.
/ A baby seal walks into a club.
/ and? / Ohh i get it. lol. I mean that?s wrong. http://comicideas.com/33 |
| 34 | So are you going to do it?
/ I?m not saying i don?t want to do it. I?m just not sure. i don?t think that not doing it, will be good for me. You know what i mean? / Let me put it to you this way. It?s not that I?m not doing the things i wasn?t doing before you told me not to do them, and i?m not saying... http://comicideas.com/34 |
| 35 | This is what "I?ll do it tomorrow", "I?ll do it tomorrow", "I?ll do it tomorrow", will get you. http://comicideas.com/35 |
| 36 | Want to hear my new maxim?
/ Not really.
/ If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. but Don't beat your head against a stone wall. / That doesn?t make sense, they are opposites.
/ Exactly. It reminds me that it's all a matter of perception. http://comicideas.com/36 |
| 37 | Honey, can you take out the garbage.
/ I don?t know if I can carry both of your parents so, probably no. http://comicideas.com/37 |
| 38 | Hey Jill, I have great news.
/ what is it?
/ I just won a free vacation.
/ Ohh, I thought you had great news for me.
/ You?re so self absorbed. I have to go. bye. / Hey Kate,
/ I have great news. http://comicideas.com/38 |
| 39 | God has several holidays but the devil has only one and that?s why it?s awesome. http://comicideas.com/39 |
| 40 | You look tired, in a good way. / You have an unusual smile, in a good way.
/ Do i look fat in this? / Yes. yes. In a good way. http://comicideas.com/40 |
| 41 | On the journey of life, people are like boats getting blown
/ around by the winds of destiny Very deep. how about this. / In this life, money is like wind and when you have a lot of it,
/ you can get blown anywhere.
/ I should have known you?ll take something beautiful and make it dirty.
/ Dirty and ... http://comicideas.com/41 |
| 42 | Who's driving tonight?
/ Dan
/ Great. I'll have a few beers before we go / Great party! Where's the beer? / Get off the sidewalk kid, and put on some clothes before i call the cops. http://comicideas.com/42 |
| 43 | I learned a relaxation technique today and now i?m way too relaxed to care about this comic strip. / lesson: relaxation kills motivation to work. http://comicideas.com/43 |
| 44 | Say out loud the color of each word. / Blue
/ Red
/ Green
/ Orange
/ Purple / If only hypocrisy was this hard to hide in humans. http://comicideas.com/44 |
| 45 | Why are you checking your phone every 10 minutes?
/ I want to see if she texted me so I can ignore it and show her
/ that I don?t care anymore. http://comicideas.com/45 |
| 46 | To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
/ Ok / What?s wrong with you? don?t just stand there. Do something you lazy Bum! / You lied. http://comicideas.com/46 |
| 47 | I try and try to make everyone happy but it doesn?t work. What can I do?
/ Try doing something that makes you happy. / If i do that, are you going to be happy with that? http://comicideas.com/47 |
| 48 | Always looking on the bright side can burn your eyes and you won't see things as they are. http://comicideas.com/48 |
| 49 | This was a busy week. i should reward myself with something, maybe a book or a video game. uhh, i know something much better. / Sleep. http://comicideas.com/49 |
| 50 | Why don?t you like watching horror movies?
/ Because if I want to scare myself, I?ll just think of my future. That scares the shit out of me so why pay $10 for something I can do myself? / On the other hand, I will gladly pay someone to make me laugh and help me forget the wasteland that is my life.
/ oookay.... http://comicideas.com/50 |
| 51 | Dad, how does this work? Why does it look like that? What does it do?
/ I don?t know. Just google it. / Google.
/ It?s a lot smarter than your parents. http://comicideas.com/51 |
| 52 | I don?t want to grow up
/ ok, then don?t.
/ But everyone?s pushing me to do it.
/ stop whining, be a man, and stand up for your right to act like a boy. http://comicideas.com/52 |
| 53 | You said my boss was having an affair and today i found out that it?s not true. I can?t believe you lied to me. / I didn?t lie. I spoke without any knowledge or proof, yet believing it to be absolutely true. That is called blind faith, and I?ve been taught
/ it?s a virtue. http://comicideas.com/53 |
| 54 | I have a terrible cold and bad headache.
/ Don?t worry, everyone?s had that but when you have a wonderful cold and good headache, let me know. http://comicideas.com/54 |
| 55 | Ted, you?re fired.
/ No this can?t be. how am i going to pay my bills and feed my family? / Well then i have good news. you?re not fired, but i need you to stay an hour longer on Fridays and take a 10% pay cut. but Be happy and remember that it could have be worse. http://comicideas.com/55 |
| 56 | Goals for this year.
/ 1. Make an impact in the company.
/ 2. Have more coworkers know my name.
/ 3. Do something to be remembered. / Congratulations ted, your incompetence has cost this company a quarter of a million dollars, which means we need to fire 3 people and implement salary cuts for the ... http://comicideas.com/56 |
| 57 | happy arbitrarily-chosen-day-for-one-earth-rotation-around-the-sun,
/ otherwise known as a "new year". http://comicideas.com/57 |
| 58 | The beginning of a new year. time to think about the future, make some goals, and new resolutions. Did you make any? / yes, and I?m happy to say today is the first day i broke them. it would be nice if i didn?t make them yesterday, but hey, things can only improve. http://comicideas.com/58 |
| 59 | Mumble, mumble, mumble
/ what are you doing? are you talking to yourself? / Yes, and it's called thinking. http://comicideas.com/59 |