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| 1 | Every exit is an entry
/ Every beginning is an ending http://comicideas.com/1 |
| 2 | I would like a one large hot
/ coffee with cinnamon and
/ vanilla but I don?t want to
/ taste the coffee and cinnamon,
/ just the vanilla. / Add 3 sugars and some honey
/ but make it not too sweet
/ and throw 3 ice cubes in it
/ but make sure they don?t melt.
/ GET OUT !!! http://comicideas.com/2 |
| 3 | Do you wanna to
/ go out tonight?
/ I?m not going to lie
/ to you. No i don?t. / Do you want to
/ watch a movie?
/ honestly? no / Do i look good in
/ this dress?
/ Yes / Wait a minute did you
/ just lie to me? http://comicideas.com/3 |
| 4 | I?m throwing john a goodbye
/ party. do you want to come?
/ No, he will make 8 times more
/ than me at his new job and i
/ don?t want to see him parade
/ that beautiful trophy wife
/ of his. / John is diabetic and all the
/ food will contain sugar.
/ You can stuff your face with
/ cake and cookies right... http://comicideas.com/4 |
| 5 | I believe it is unlucky
/ to be superstitious. http://comicideas.com/5 |
| 6 | Honesty is the best policy. / So how did you like your first
/ week working here?
/ The job is ok, but as a boss I think
/ you?re an incompetent, uncaring,
/ small minded, arrogant ass.
/ You?re fired. / Honesty is SOMETIMES the best policy. http://comicideas.com/6 |
| 7 | You can have only one
/ cup of coffee today.
/ Do you promise?
/ Yes i promise, one cup. / Ahh. One cup it is. / Loopholes
/ a way to get what you want
/ and still be honest. http://comicideas.com/7 |
| 8 | Smoe rasereechres funod taht if you put the frsit and lsat ltteer of the wrod crrecotly, the rmnaieing leterts can be plcaed anhweyre and popeel will stlil untersdand waht is wittren.
/ You know this doesn't work when speaking. http://comicideas.com/8 |
| 9 | So what are you doing Saturday?
/ A lot, I have to catch up on 4 shows I missed during the
/ week, go through my comments on myspace/youtube/facebook,
/ write a post for my blog, / upload some pictures to flicker, listen to some new
/ mp3?s I got, watch a movie, call 2 friends to catch up,
/ and get some... http://comicideas.com/9 |
| 10 | What he saw.
/ Bill U. Looney
/ Psychotherapist / What it actually said.
/ Bill U. Looney
/ Psycho-the-rapist http://comicideas.com/10 |
| 11 | Who are you talking to?
/ No one. I've been on hold for 40 minutes.
/ You're very patient.
/ No, it?s not that. I just don?t care. / it turns out patience is very similar to apathy. It?s easy to be patient if you just don?t care. http://comicideas.com/11 |
| 12 | To be happy, you have to develop a relationship with
/ yourself, get in touch with yourself, and enjoy being
/ with yourself. In short, you have to love yourself. / Question?
/ Yes, i do enjoy getting to touch myself but how many
/ times a day, should i love myself? Once, twice? And If I love others that... http://comicideas.com/12 |
| 13 | I can?t believe you forgot it again. You idiot.
/ I know
/ Sometimes i really hate you.
/ I know / You can be such an ass.
/ I know
/ Stop agreeing with me. I want to fight about this.
/ I know http://comicideas.com/13 |
| 14 | Sometimes we?re too close to see the big picture. http://comicideas.com/14 |
| 15 | What did you do this weekend?
/ I went to work on Saturday and on Sunday i papered for this weeks presentations.
/ You are such a loser. / Thank you for taking a complex situation and based on one sentence
/ of information labeling me. You?re so small minded and judgmental. http://comicideas.com/15 |
| 16 | You have to lose weight.
/ No way, in this economy, this fat will get me further than my savings. I can live of this fat for months. http://comicideas.com/16 |
| 17 | You won?t guess where I went today?
/ New York city.
/ No. I went to the park. But you won?t guess who I met.
/ Megan fox. / No. I met Jill from high school. Guess what she was driving?
/ A Bugatti Veyron.
/ What? No. Shut up. You suck. http://comicideas.com/17 |
| 18 | and then i met jenny from high school. She says bla bla bla
/ bli bla bla bla.
/ Uh huh.
/ bli bla bla ble bli bla bla bla
/ ohh. / bla bla bli bla bla bla
/ ahh.
/ bli bla bla bla
/ and they score!!
/ Yeesss! I mean hmmm, continue. http://comicideas.com/18 |
| 19 | I have a problem.
/ Just one? That?s nothing, listen to the problems i have to deal with... http://comicideas.com/19 |
| 20 | i have a fire cracker, $10 and an invitation to a party tonight. Want to go?
/ Sure. / this was the best night of my life but i am never doing that again. http://comicideas.com/20 |
| 21 | In dreams... / In reality... / It turns out dreams and reality are not the same thing. http://comicideas.com/21 |
| 22 | This is the best way to... / They may be wrong but they are never in doubt. http://comicideas.com/22 |
| 23 | This is what he wrote.
/ I like your work. There are a few things that can be improved on but I?m sure you can do it. One day you will definitely be successful. / This is what he meant.
/ I like* your work. There are a few* things that can be improved on but I?m sure* you can do it. One day you will... http://comicideas.com/23 |
| 24 | What did you get to eat?
/ Buffalo wings.
/ I didn't know buffalo had wings. / What the F#$&! I'm getting tired of your ignorance.
/ Why are you angry? I'm not ignoring you. http://comicideas.com/24 |
| 25 | A psychic wins the lottery for the third time in a row. / When i see a headline like this then I?ll go to see one. http://comicideas.com/25 |
| 26 | How was the weekend?
/ I jumped out of an airplane and it was amazing.
/ Hmm. really?
/ You think I?m laying? / Well, if i paid money to voluntarily jump out of a plane and survived it, I?d say it felt amazing too just so i don?t look like an idiot. So I?m not convinced.
/ Believe me, it was awesome, freaking... http://comicideas.com/26 |
| 27 | I really hope things will work out ok. / How are things today?
/ The same but I?m still hoping. / I?m starting to lose hope.
/ Soon I will have to actually DO something. http://comicideas.com/27 |
| 28 | My morning. Alarm rings. Grab remote. Turn on news. / terrorism, rape, killing, panic, mugging... / Nothing like a 15 min dose of fear in the morning to get that adrenaline pumping and get me going.
/ TV news, better than 2 cups of coffee. http://comicideas.com/28 |
| 29 | Carrot
/ Stop eating and imagine all the fun stuff we?ll be able to do when you?re fit.
/ Do we eat in any of them?
/ No! / Stick
/ Stop eating or I?ll kill you!
/ Are you going to give me my last meal? http://comicideas.com/29 |
| 30 | and what?s your name?
/ meg peckht
/ can you spell that?
/ M like mnemonic.
/ e like euphoria
/ g like gnome
/ P like pseudonym
/ e like euphoria
/ c like czar
/ k like knife
/ h like honor
/ t like tsunami. http://comicideas.com/30 |