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Triangle and Robert #1291 I wonder if we're at escape velocity. / We'd be on fire. / So we'll eventually peak, then descend, then hit the ground. / We've never both died at the same time. Who'll revive us? / Let's avoid having to find out. / Can your cuisine-magic help? / No. I don't know how to adjust recipes for rapidly varying altitude.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1291
Triangle and Robert #1292 Are you carrying any random objects that might keep us from plummeting to our deaths? / Maybe we could use Diana Ross as a hang glider. / You're not carrying Diana Ross. / That's right. I traded her for a Yoshi doll. / Of all the myriad questions raised by the previous exchange, I will choose to ask only one: Why would you trade Diana Ross for a Yoshi doll? / I can trade the Yoshi doll for a Masamune.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1292
Triangle and Robert #1293 Triangle! I know how we can land safely! Follow my lead! / Huh? / There was this... line... and then he was gone. What happened?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1293
Triangle and Robert #1294 What does Robert know that I don't? He knows how to exploit the nature of comic strips. He knows about the Cartoonist's world. / Could it be that simple? Just... rotate myself into the third dimension between panels? / It's working. I'm gliding. But, if polygons can glide so easily, then why don't they? / They normally can't. I don't understand the physics of air resistance in your world, so I'm substituting my own for the strip. If you tried it outside the comic, you'd probably be ripped in thirds by Coriolis force or something.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1294
Triangle and Robert #1295 Once again we are saved from certain death by the Cartoonist's ignorance. / I've been in the air before, but this is the first time I've really had a chance to look down. / It's sort of beautiful. / What is? / The world. Hard to believe it's all because of a recipe error. / Yes. It is hard to believe. / The chloramine cloud is still growing. How do we close the valve and stop it? / We just need to get hazard gear. I'd rather use the real thing than makeshift it under the circumstances.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1295
 
Triangle and Robert #1296 I'll land near the fire station. You land in the amusement park. I'll grab a hazard suit and attach it to the title, then when the strip goes to you, you take it down and wear it. / No. You can't use shifting strip focus to teleport objects. / We'll both land at the fire station and take a cab. No need to complicate things. / But I want to complicate things! / Okay, you're responsible for not having the cab fare. / It's a plan!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1296
Triangle and Robert #1297 Get back here! / National security. / Oh, okay. / We have the hazard suits. / I'll hail a taxi, despite the obvious dangers involved. / Which would be... / A Dead Milkmen reference.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1297
Triangle and Robert #1298 We don't have the fare. actually. Will you take a Yoshi doll? / Well, you can trade it to an old man, maybe? / I can barely see. Which way was it to the slide? / Okay, the valve must be... no... Okay, I'm lost.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1298
Triangle and Robert #1299 Triangle! Turn twelve degrees counterclockwise! / Is that where the valve is? / Yes! Go close it! / I just wanted to make sure you weren't giving me directions for some completely other reason. / Hurry up! I don't know how much air I have! / I'm going, I'm going!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1299
Triangle and Robert #1300 I found it! This has to be the "water"-slide control valve! Does it close clockwise or counterclockwise? I can barely even see my own text through the fumes. / I'll try clockwise first. / It's working. It's working! The bleach and ammonia jets are stopping! There's an absurd amount of chloramine gas in the air and the local wildlife will be lucky to survive, but at least it won't spread to the city now.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1300
 
Triangle and Robert #1301 Robert, I shut off the valve and the gas is dispersing, but... Hold on. The cab's still here? I thought you'd have found a way to pay the fare by now. / We should have stolen a hazard suit for the cab driver. / She passed out? / I hope she only passed out. / Put her in the trunk, we'll park the cab across from the fire station and leave the hazard suits in it. / That's your criminalest idea ever!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1301
Triangle and Robert #1302 Triangle, wake up! We made bail! / Wha? / It's coming out of your fee. Why couldn't you have just told the fire department what was going on and let them take care of it? Stealing the hazard gear and endangering the cabbie wasn't necessary. / Well, of course you would say that in hindsight. You had to be there. / I plead oxygen deprivation.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1302
Triangle and Robert #1303 Emergency disaster funding! / Your theme park will be back in the black in no time with a little government assistance. It's an ecological time bomb, they're bound to give you a grant or at least a giant tax credit. / You're right. / I'll take that recommendation as your final report and pay your fee, on one condition. / That we stay very far away from you and your theme park? / Yes. Please.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1303
Triangle and Robert #1304 Robert, your recklessness nearly killed a client and at least one bystander, and we only got paid our fee to make us go away sooner. / The new business model's working perfectly. / Extortion is not a viable business model! / We've proven otherwise. / Do our pending trial and likely swift conviction mean nothing to you?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1304
Triangle and Robert #1305 I find in favor of the defendants. I'm Judge Prozac the Bear! / Let us never speak of that trial again. / Agreed. / Next case: The mind's necessarily imperfect understanding of Time versus Dhalsim. ROUND ONE!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1305
 
Triangle and Robert #1306 [[Orpuddex says nothing]] / I saw the strip title. I know you're watching. / I don't have to talk, you know. I am quite capable of going multiple panels without providing any exposition or dialogue.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1306
Triangle and Robert #1307 Go away. / Explaining everything excessively has been my downfall in the past. This time I will reveal nothing to you. / In fact, unbeknownest to... You almost got me that time.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1307
Triangle and Robert #1308 [[Orpuddex waits]] / Oh, fine. If you won't say anything I'll leave. / Please do so. / Sure you won't be lonely? / Okay, I was just asking.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1308
Triangle and Robert #1309 Orpuddex must be up to something. / Probably nothing important. / I've been thinking about Orpuddex a lot, actually. His description of the universe doesn't make sense, and not just in the same way that the universe itself fails to make sense. / You've been thinking again, haven't you? / That's what I just said. / Right.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1309
Triangle and Robert #1310 Lumps are a part of pudding. Why would the Beforings have expected otherwise? / You're reaching. / Shut up, I'm onto something. What's the point of creating a timeless infinity that no one's even going to eat? / It's not a timeless inf- / It would, except for the lumps. Lumps are what give meaning to space and time. The Beforings had to have planned for their appearance. / Right, and they made Orpuddex to counteract them. Simple enough.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1310
 
Triangle and Robert #1311 Of all the reasons I can envision to create a universe, none would call for an unchanging one. The Beforings wanted lumps, and stars, and planets. / But they had Orpuddex stir. / Yes. If a terrestrial pudding goes unstirred, it becomes lumpier than if stirred. But consider space. / Okay, I'll consider it. Can I go now? / Gravity, Robert. An unstirred universe fails to expand. Instead of lumps, there is only a dead singularity.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1311
Triangle and Robert #1312 Orpuddex did not fail in his charge. He succeeded. It was because of his stirring that lumps small enough for life formed. / Then why would the Beforings need to send a Chosen One to deal with Orpuddex? / Let me ask you this: Why would that Chosen One be granted power over the cuisine-magic? / To fight. / I choose my own fights. If that's what they want me for, I just won't play their game.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1312
Triangle and Robert #1313 [[sign reads: / house > / < Haunted Pudding factory]] / Who disturbs this place? ...again. / Pudding-Watcher! I seek an audience! / The Chosen One comes for me at last. Enter, Triangle. We will battle. / Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I think you've misinterpreted the whole Chosen One thing. / Enter!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1313
Triangle and Robert #1314 I have a theory. What would have happened to the pudding if you had stirred it successfully? / It would not have developed lumps. / Then what? / There would be no stars. / What would there be? / There would be the pudding. / And then? / No then. Only the pudding.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1314
Triangle and Robert #1315 If the pudding had not formed lumps, you would have had to keep stirring it. / Yes. / Eternally. / Yes. / And you don't see any problem with that? / No. Why? / It just doesn't sound like a very good eternity. / I'm not sure if I've ever considered it in those terms. But what of it?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1315
 
Triangle and Robert #1316 Have you considered what would have become of the universe if you had not stirred at all? / Such neglect would have been unthinkable. / So, no. / No. Now tell me! What are you getting at? / I don't think your job was to keep the universe homogenous. I think your job was to ensure its development. / I don't need to stand here and listen to this sort of abuse.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1316
Triangle and Robert #1317 Orpuddex, hear me out. If the Beforings didn't want life to form, they wouldn't have needed you. / With no stirring there would be no life, Pudding-Watcher. Think on that. / "Think on that"? How can I convince anyone of anything when you give me stilted dialogue like that? / Orpuddex talks like that all the time. Maybe he listens like that too.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1317
Triangle and Robert #1318 "With no stirring there would be no life"? Does the Chosen One seek to confound me with metaphors? / My stirring of the pudding of the young universe was no metaphor. I was no abstract personification of change. I stirred to maintain the pudding, not to alter it. / Of course if he spoke literally, then he posits that the unstirred universe would have... no. It is simply nonsense and I will ignore it. He wishes to weaken me.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1318
Triangle and Robert #1319 That was fast. / Orpuddex doesn't listen. / And I don't care. / growth unchecked / Out of the PANEL? / That's bad. That's very bad.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1319
Triangle and Robert #1320 The MSG entity is worried. I can feel it now. / What is it worrying about? / Can't stop. / Oh. / Well, that narrows it down. / At the rate of two words a strip this is going to be a rather epic conversation.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1320
 

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