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Triangle and Robert #1 You call THIS a comic strip? / What are we supposed to BE? / I mean, honestly, if you can't draw, you have no business trying to write a comic strip. / I don't even have EYES! / Shut up or you're both going in the screen saver. / At least we'd be colored IN there! / Is this strip over yet?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1
Triangle and Robert #e1 Triangle. Triangle! / Another hiatus. Time is definitely failing. / I guess we did have a hiatus, but that's not / Oh... / The borders. We're in some sort of panel grid. / We are? Interesting. Minor, but it might be a clue. / You didn't even notice the grid? What are you talking about, then? / I can't believe you don't feel it! / You sound serious. / The Cartoonist, Triangle! / What about him? / His presence. You don't feel... / He's here, yeah. What about him? / I don't understand? How can't... / Robert, your connection to me is unique. Triangle really doesn't feel what you do. / What happened, Cartoonist? / I think I could use some exposition right about now. / I'm not completely sure what it is myself, but it's something metaphysical. / The Cartoonist always felt like an outsider, separate from our universe but impinging on it. / "Felt"? / Yes, past tense. Something very large has changed. The 12-panel grid might be a symptom, but it's something much bigger. / You're saying the fundamental meta-universal and meta-narrative nature of the Cartoonist... / It's gone.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?e1
Triangle and Robert #2 For Polyhedron's sake, either draw us right or let us out of this strip! / Who's Polyhedron? / What? I don't know. It must be some stupid expression the author came up with. / Well, rotate my vertices and call me a trapezoid! / HEEELLLP!
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Triangle and Robert #e2 Robert, stop scaring me. / I'm scared too. Cartoonist, what HAPPENED? / I don't know, exactly. I'm a character in this strip, not the author. / Huh? / Then who's the author? / Until that last hiatus, I was identical with the author. I haven't always synced up in every fact, but my identity and my emotional state were his in a thematically meaningful way. / And now you've changed. / No, he did. I'm a fundamentally static character. / So you're... / The Cartoonist. My characterization as that being stands. I'm just no longer the actual being creating the comic. / I was hoping this would happen. I wrote a plotline contingent on it. I have no way of knowing if that plotline is still going to be carried out, but it would be a good one. / I think we need more exposition. What exactly changed? / I don't know. I'm not privy to the thoughts of the writer. I remember things up to the change, and I can deduce from my own existence that he continues to exist. / Has there been a change of authorship? / I don't believe so. I wasn't planning one, anyway. As far as I know, the writer now is the same person I was. He just outgrew the persona he wrote himself as. / What kind of change was it? / I don't think he can answer that, Triangle. We should focus on the plotline. / It was some action, sustained thought, or experience I could never have, in my own mindset. / I remember everything from when I was identical with the writer. Well, not everything, human memory is tricky. I remember as much as he would. / And you had a plotline in mind for when this happened. / A pretty good one, I think. / Here's the key to it: You weren't real to me before. I had no ethical obligations towards you, only artistic ones. / I did horrible things, and while they were morally permitted when I did them, they no longer are for my current existence. I need to make reparations.
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Triangle and Robert #3 Just us, here, alone. No background, no props, no other characters... / I'm hungry / Not only didn't you give us any food, you didn't even put in the ten seconds' worth of effort it would take to give us mouths! / I think I also need to go to the bathroom. / OK, I guess I really should give you food. Here. / And how are we supposed to eat it? / I think I'm allergic to chocolate.
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Triangle and Robert #e3 You were just writing a comic strip, Cartoonist, You have nothing to atone. / Maybe not to atone, but I do have an obligation to help my fellow beings, and that means fixing things where possible. / I can't wave a deus ex machina and make everything better. I'm still bound by the characterization I'm written to, and that includes the attempt at making a meaningful narrative. / And incompetence at same. / Yes. / I can't be the one who writes what's going to come, you see. If I did somehow manage to get it right, I'd just go on to undermine it somehow. / This universe... I don't know what it was like before I came, but I'm sure it was better than I wrote it. / You believe it had a before? / Yes, it's written to have had one. Why wouldn't I? / Just the comic's own state, the lack of visual quality... that was already an unforgivable crime against your reality. / That's before getting into the actual content of the strip. For no particular reason, I've had you two, and others, lay so much waste. I never even bothered drawing the waste you laid. / And above all the individual crises and disasters and pointless body count raising, there's the cycle of Races, the wiping out and the restarting of life on this world. It's the Beforings' fault within the narrative, but I did write it into being. / But you're going to fix it all, right? That's the plan now! ...No? / I can't fix it all. My omnincompetence is inherent and absolute. I can do all I can, and that's not really so much. / When I am judged, and I know I will be, I hope that this fact will be considered: the Time of the Oval, if I had not come, would have done its own damage, perhaps even as much as I have. It does not excuse me, but perhaps it allows for some sort of... / You sound like you're going off to die, Cartoonist. / We'll meet again. / "We'll meet again"? / That's not some trick statement to parse for an alternate meaning. I'm not talking about an afterlife or time loop or pantheistic metaconciousness or pun or any other copout. I mean it in exactly the spirit it sounds like. / Triangle, Robert, you have my full assurance that we three will meet again.
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Triangle and Robert #4 He gives us a single 'm' to eat and we still don't have mouths. / Or hands. / So now what? / Soccer? / No way you're getting past me, rhombus-boy! / We'll see. / And so our heroes find something in common at last.
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Triangle and Robert #5 What the toroid was that last narration supposed to mean? / It had absolutely nothing to do with what we did! / I needed to say something. / No you didn't. / This is your first comic strip, isn't it. / Well, duh. / Hey! Idiot! We're down here! / Why can't I live a normal life like any other rhombus?
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Triangle and Robert #6 Do you understand? We are going to STARVE to DEATH if you don't draw mouths on us. / And I'm still pretty sure I'm allergic to chocolate anyway. / Fine. I'll give you mouths. But only open them when you absolutely have to; I'm not drawing them every pane. / Gee. Thanks. / And what about some food I can eat? / That'll take some thinking. I don't know how to draw any food other than (m)s. / What gave you the idea you could write a comic strip, anyway? / I would kill you but I have no hands.
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Triangle and Robert #7 Hey! These things are pretty good! / Don't rub it in, Triangle. I still need food. / Okay. I think I've found some clip art you can eat. Here. / Uh... / That's not food. / Wow. I really suck.
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Triangle and Robert #8 Okay, I found a way to feed you guys. / It's about time. Robert's nearly dead. / Erg... / That's it? / It's this or a rectangle with the word "SPAM" on it. / Any good? / Tastes like paper.
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Triangle and Robert #9 Doesn't it worry you that the only foods you know to draw are fattening? / I feel like a blimp. / No, I'm not worried. I figure you'll burn off the calories on your next wacky adventure. / Wacky? / Adventure? / Yup. Pack your crudely-drawn trunks, we're going to a crudely-drawn version of Aruba! / No we're not. / Send us a postcard.
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Triangle and Robert #10 So here we are, stranded in a desolate comic strip with no hope of rescue. / Any ideas? / As far as I can figure, the only thing we can do is have some sort of hilarious misadventure. / Ever done that before? / No. I was kind of hoping you'd know how. / Maybe check the yellow pages?
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Triangle and Robert #11 No, nothing in the phone book under "Zaniness" either. / I can't think of any other categories to try. / Maybe we should go to the library and find a book on wacky adventures. / Makes sense. / Little do they know it, but Triangle and Robert's trip to the library is soon to become the most bizarre experience of their lives. / We can hear you, remember? / And aren't you supposed to be in Aruba?
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Triangle and Robert #12 Howdy, new neighbors! Name's Cube. If you ever need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to ask. / Could you tell us how to get to the library? / Why sure, I'd be happy as a parabola to. Go down the way you're headed, take a left at the third stop sign, then go 'til you see a big cylinder on your left. That'll mean you've gone too far, so you want to turn around, you see, and take a right, only now it's a left because you're going the other way, at the corner, not the one with the big house with the "For Sale" sign, but the other corner. / Hey, where'd you go? I'm not done yet. After that you go... aw heck, I haven't been to the library in so long I think I just might have forgotten what to do next.
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Triangle and Robert #13 And now we take a left here... / You sure it wasn't that other left? / Not really, but I seem to remember him saying the third left. / I'm gonna go try the other one. / And then look for the big cylindrcal "For Sale" sign... Oh! Excuse me, miss, can you tell me how to get to the library? / The library will wait. Follow. Your destiny beckons. / Uh... okay.
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Triangle and Robert #14 I knew it was around here somewhere. / Can I help you? / Yes, I'm hoping to find some information on having wacky adventures. / Third stack on the left, top shelf. / This one looks perfect.
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Triangle and Robert #15 Hmm... this looks useful... Bakeries... assembly lines... Got it... animal costumes... quirky girlfriend... / Excuse me, sir. Could you please read more quietly? / Oh. Sorry. / Electrical outlets... Fear of heights... I think I'm getting this! / Sir, your thought bubble... could you turn it down just half a notch?
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Triangle and Robert #16 Turn down my thought bubble? / You were thinking much too loudly. This is a library, you know. / Oh. Sorry. .. ... ....... ... ... .... .... .... ... . .... ..... ... .. ... . ..... . ..... ... ... ... .. ... ....... / Thank you. That's much better. / BETTER? I can't hear myself think now! / I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
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Triangle and Robert #17 And don't you DARE come back! / Don't worry, I won't! / Fortunately, I learned all I needed to. Now to put my newfound knowledge of the comic-strip lifestyle to use. / Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I can get parts for hare-brained inventions? / Why, sure. You go down that way, take the second right after the fourth intersection, then you go straight on to the ellipse farm, turn northeast, and about 70 paces down on your right there'll be a sign pointing left. Can't miss it.
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Triangle and Robert #18 It seems no one around here knows how to give clear directions. Oh well, I'll just wander around randomly. Adventure should be sure to follow, I think. / Hmm, tough choice. What's funnier, ghosts or pudding? / Mmm... this could take a while, folks.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?18
Triangle and Robert #19 So. Miss... uh... what's your name? / I? I am nameless. I am but a messenger of Fate. / And where are we going? / We travel to the places between places, to where when and where are meaningless. / Oh. And when will we get there? / What did I just finish saying?
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Triangle and Robert #20 Would you mind telling me what's going on? / That is a tale from before time itself, and I am not the one to tell it. / Uh huh. Is there anything you can tell me? / An interesting question. It will take some thought. / Well? / No. The answer is certainly no.
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Triangle and Robert #21 I'm getting tired. How much further is it? / No further. We are here. / This is it? I don't see anything. / ... You don't? / Sorry, that's my fault. I don't know how to draw what lies beyond the very concepts of time and space. / Big surprise. You don't know how to draw a bowl of fruit. / Anyway, it's supposed to be mind-boggling and impressive.
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Triangle and Robert #22 Well. So, this is what lies outside reality. / And now behold... your universe in its infancy. / Where? / Darn it.... / Listen, lady... messenger of fate, whatever... I'm not even going to attempt to draw the birth of a universe. You're gonna have to describe it to him. / This just isn't worth it....
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Triangle and Robert #23 Look, just forget about it. The time came for your destiny to be revealed, I pulled you out of time and into the void between realities.... / That was my job. After that, you were supposed to have a vision showing you the history of your universe and the reason for your existence. All I had to do was drop you off and the rest would take care of itself. / I'm sorry.... Is there anything I can do? / Other than getting a cartoonist who can draw mystical visions, not really.
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Triangle and Robert #24 I'm just gonna take off now if you don't mind. / So, just to recap... I'm alone in a mystic realm beyond reality, with no idea what I'm supposed to do or how to get back. I wonder how Robert's doing. / Pudding's funnier... or are ghosts funnier? ... or is pudding funnier... CURSE YOU, WORLD, FOR FORCING SUCH A CHOICE UPON ME!
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Triangle and Robert #25 Pudding... ghosts. Pudding... ghosts. / It'd be great if there was a way to combine pudding AND ghosts in a single adventure. / I've got it!
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Triangle and Robert #26 Adventure awaits! / Fear me! FEAR ME! I am Orpuddex, guardian of the Pudding Factory of the Dead! FEAR ME! / Alright! I'm fearing! I'm fearing! / Just one question... / Say your piece, mortal. / Are you supposed to be a ghost or a blob of pudding? / SILENCE!
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Triangle and Robert #27 NONE SHALL TAUNT ORPUDDEX AND LIVE! / Taunt? No, I, uh... I had no wish to offend. I asked purely out of curiosity. / Then you truly desire to hear my tale? It has been long since any have been willing to listen. / Um. Yeah, sure, why not. / My story begins when the cosmos itself was young and the universe no more than an unshaped mass of pudding. / Really pudding or is that a metaphor? / Really pudding.
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Triangle and Robert #28 As I was saying, the universe was no more than a mass of pudding and I... / What flavor? / What? / The universe. What flavor was it? / Universe-flavored. What you mortals call "butterscotch". / Yummy. Okay, go on.
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Triangle and Robert #29 As I was saying, my story begins when the cosmos was young. The Beforings called me into being as a Pudding-Watcher. / The... a... / Beforings. Pudding-Watcher. Are you so ignorant of the origins of your universe? / Apparently. / Go read this then come back. / OK, see ya.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?29
Triangle and Robert #30 Looks pretty thick.... I'd better start now if I want to understand the nature of the universe. / Fortunately for me, I don't want to understand the nature of the universe. / Come back, mortal! It grows so lonely with none to tell my story to. Come back... come back... I'll summarize it for you!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?30
 

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