You're browsing the archives of Triangle and Robert.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Triangle and Robert #721 | The third clue
/ Second. / No, the third. The second clue turned out to be a coincidence.
/ The victim's name seared into every single piece of prime rib was a coincidence? / No, that was the fourth clue.
/ What was the second?
/ It doesn't matter. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?721 |
| Triangle and Robert #722 | The piece that tied it all together was / / *BANG BANG*
/ You're a bit early aren't you? http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?722 |
| Triangle and Robert #723 | *BANG BANG*
/ Everyone down! / Uh... is this the percussion class? / Across the hall. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?723 |
| Triangle and Robert #724 | I don't understand why I need to stand here explaining every clue. I'm just going to skip to the conclusion. / *BANG*
/ What was that? / Lightbulb blew out. I'll get a new one. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?724 |
| Triangle and Robert #725 | Who did it, anyway? / One of the engineers.
/ Why? / I neither know nor care. She killed him, she's in custody, and we'll be home in a day. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?725 |
| Triangle and Robert #726 | So, what's on the agenda for today?
/ I was going to catch up on the news and plotline. / No clients?
/ Not yet. / I'm reopening the K[3,3] file.
/ It's unsolvable.
/ In two dimensions. We haven't tried eight.
/ You're really desperate for something to do, huh. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?726 |
| Triangle and Robert #727 | Shipment. Sign.
/ No. No more MSG. I cancelled weeks ago and you keep coming. I have enough for a lifetime. / Sign.
/ Take it back.
/ Can't. Sign. / Can't.
/ Can't.
/ Can I talk to someone else? http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?727 |
| Triangle and Robert #728 | Yes. Cancel.
/ You want to not buy MSG? Why would you not want to get our fine product? The quality is as high as always, is it not? / That's not the problem.
/ *click* / Two more days of this and then I attack. I'm sure I can justify it in court. Two more days. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?728 |
| Triangle and Robert #729 | You can take that No MSG sign down. Help has arrived.
/ The sign is not there to indicate that we have run out of the additive. Its presence indicates that we do not, in fact, use it anymore. / If you don't use it why did you order it?
/ I didn't order it. / Then it's a good thing someone remembered to order it for you.
/ No. It isn't actually a good thing at all. Inform your employers that diplomatic measures have broken down and that they should evacuate their offices tomorrow for their own safety. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?729 |
| Triangle and Robert #730 | Welcome to McEscher's. How may we take your order? / I'd like minus one Negative Burgers.
/ We're out of clandestine sauce.
/ Oh. When will you have more?
/ I'm not at liberty to say. / Would you like fries with that?
/ Sure. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?730 |
| Triangle and Robert #731 | MultiFoodCorpCo Limited Industries.
/ I seek vengeance. / We're sorry, Vengeance brand rye-flavored snack bites are a discontinued product. If you enjoy the great taste of rye flavoring, I can recommend a therapist.... / Direct me to your masters, secretary. My quarrel is not with you.
/ Mr. Smith, there's an angry warrior-chef here to see you. I'll send him right in. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?731 |
| Triangle and Robert #732 | According to our records, you have a standing order for one full load of MSG per week.
/ I cancelled that order months ago. / Yes, the cancellation is in our records. It hasn't gone through the system yet.
/ What do you mean "hasn't gone through the system"? / I don't know, that's just what they told me to say.
/ You do not want to know how difficult it is for me not to injure you right now. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?732 |
| Triangle and Robert #733 | Yes... it goes perfectly. None suspect that I have control of artificial flavor distribution worldwide! / Define "none".
/ Oh no. You're not putting this in the strip, are you? / I'm afraid so. Expect a whole lot of attention.
/ Baa. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?733 |
| Triangle and Robert #734 | You destroyed our order tracking system... our backups... the mainframe...
/ I put it out of its misery. / Leave. We won't prosecute, but never come back here.
/ Hopefully I won't need to. / I hope so as well. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?734 |
| Triangle and Robert #735 | Another shipment? / ...it's a different brand. MultiFoodCorpCo would never package a product without putting their name on it. / The sanitation department still hates me because of that chicken leak... I guess I'll just have to put this in the basement with all the rest until I can think of a way to get rid of it. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?735 |
| Triangle and Robert #736 | Someone else is manipulating the artificial flavoring market. / HOW? / No comment. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?736 |
| Triangle and Robert #737 | The McEscher's corporation has issued a statement to the effect that the recent shortages of clandestine sauce are a short term anomaly and not in / any way a symptom of any larger problem. Sugar substitute prices dropped sharply today due to the sudden appearance of an unexpected surplus. The anti-Cartoonist protests / *CLICK* http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?737 |
| Triangle and Robert #738 | The strip has recently begun to involve a fairly complex situation involving the artificial flavor market. As human readers are unlikely to be familiar with the workings of this uniquely polygonal institution, I feel that I should provide an overview. / Unlike most commodity markets, the artificial flavor market is based around a five-dimensional topology. Rather than integer prices, the value of flavorings is described in terms of complex-valued polynomials. This is primarily a result of the crystalline structure of common salts, which makes transportation a highly time-dependent function. / The redundancies of the base angles result in a non-planar arrangement of exchanges over, and in a few cases beneath, the surface of the planet. Thus, matrix multiplication is necessary in any market analysis. As a net result, one can take advantage of geography to become quite wealthy without ever making a positive profit in any individual quarter. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?738 |
| Triangle and Robert #739 | Triangle and Robert Wacky Scheme Consult... oh, hello, Mr. Disease. What brings you here?
/ Senseless property destruction has failed me, and so I must resort to wackiness. / Someone keeps having MSG shipped to the Locust Garden. A year ago this would have been convenient, but I no longer cook with it and it is taking up much space. / I see. And you've already tried going on an insanely destructive rampage?
/ Repeatedly. When shipments from one producer are ceased, another begins shipping. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?739 |
| Triangle and Robert #740 | So, Triangle, what do you think about the Locust Garden's problem?
/ The Cornersheep. / We know he's been dabbling in flavor trading.... He must be diverting MSG shipments to fix prices. Robert, I think we should use Plan 2πr.
/ I'll warm up the hydraulic sofa-bed. / Right. I'll #include http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?740 |
| Triangle and Robert #741 | What is this Plan 2πr?
/ Contingency plan for fighting the Cornersheep on, and with, his own turf. / Robert can explain the details beter than I can. Basically it's a remote-root exploit against his lawn furniture.
/ He's running an unpatched patio server?
/ Not yet. That's where the futonapult comes in. / So there will be senseless property damage involved?
/ Well... senseless? I suppose, more or less.
/ I can watch, right? http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?741 |
| Triangle and Robert #742 | The sofa-bed's been stolen!
/ We need that.... Sheep? / No. I think it was the... you know. Them.
/ Ohh. You mean the / We (meaning I) interrupt this strip to... um... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?742 |
| Triangle and Robert #743 | I managed to get the hydraulic sofa-bed back from...
/ Shh. Don't refer to... that... or the Cartoonist'll cut away. / Oh, just go ahead and say it. There've been anti-cartoonist protest rallies all around your world for months and I've been keeping them out of the strip. Now they're starting to get violent and vandalizing all the locations that I use in the comic. / Now get back to Plan 2 http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?743 |
| Triangle and Robert #744 | Hi! I'm Prozac the Bear!
/ What? / I'm just here to get hit by the incoming barrage of furniture.
/ What? / Baa....
/ That's supposed to indicate looking to the left. I'm sorry. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?744 |
| Triangle and Robert #745 | > PATIO LOGIN ACHIEVED
/ > CHAIRS LOCATED: 5
/ > ATTEMPTING CHAIR 1
/ > CHAIR 1: BUFFER TOO BIG
/ > CHAIR 2: BUFFER TOO SMALL
/ > CHAIR 3: BUFFER SIZE MATCH! ATTEMPTING CONTROL TAKEOVER / Triangle! We're in!
/ Can you get to the sprinklers?
/ No, the plumbing has a firewall. I just have furniture and what looks like... yes. The laundry room. / Why would an evil sheep have a laundry room?
/ I don't think he does. It must be the swap partition.
/ If his wicker's that misconfigured... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?745 |
| Triangle and Robert #746 | It's over.
/ What do you mean "it's over"?
/ I got into the obligatory self-destruct mechanism of the Cornersheep's base. / Remotely?
/ Sheep aren't known for network security.
/ That's just stupid.
/ I know. / Alert. All henchsheep evacuate. The base's destruct sequence has begun. I'm sorry about this, I know you all told me putting it on the network was a bad idea, but these things happen. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?746 |
| Triangle and Robert #747 | Some fairly small number of days later...
/ Your efforts were unsuccessful.
/ What? No. / This morning I awoke to find a massive wooden horse outside the delivery entrance.
/ Filled with monosodium glutamate?
/ Yes. / But... the Cornersheep has no base of operations. He CAN'T have filled a horse with MSG.
/ Then who did?
/ I don't know. It almost sounds like something... Robert would do. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?747 |
| Triangle and Robert #748 | Robert! Have you been distributing wooden animals filled with artificial flavors to drum up wacky scheme business?
/ Um... no.
/ You hesitated. / There was this porcelain pig once, but the package said "all natural".
/ So not MSG?
/ No. Not MSG. / Robert, someone's still sending MSG to the Locust Garden.
/ It's not me. That would be too blatant a conflict of interest.
/ So now what do we do?
/ We go undercover. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?748 |
| Triangle and Robert #749 | There are too many delivery services in the city to check them all, and we're too recognizable to fake our way into jobs at them anyway. / You're thinking couriers. I'm thinking packages.
/ Ah. Ah, yes, that would work. That would indeed work. / That would... darn it, I can't come up with a single objection other than that it just sounds like a bad idea all around.
/ Then it's agreed. I'll get some giant mailing tubes. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?749 |
| Triangle and Robert #750 | Tubes? I can accept the necessity of shipping ourselves all over the city to investigate different couriers, but can't we lie flat in big boxes? / I'm surprised. I thought your major objection would be that we don't even know the deliveries are being made by an actual shipping company and not just individual henchpersons. / I hadn't even thought of that one yet, but now that you mention it, I'll withdraw my first objection, object on the grounds you just mentioned, and restate my previous objection, this time as a secondary consideration.
/ All in one panel? http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?750 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140
141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 >>