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Triangle and Robert #811 Rhombus, your triangular friend was in a battle. He was subjected to a sort of temporal strain. / And now he can only say "ducks"? / Roughly. / Then the course of action we must take is clear. / Is it? / Luau?
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Triangle and Robert #812 One luau later... / Now can we get started on freeing Triangle? / Freeing... Triangle? You mean the luau had no effect? / You upset me, rhombus.
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Triangle and Robert #813 One more "luau" later... / Why's it in quotes? / A luau technically requires multiple persons. / Triangle's here! / Yes, but he's hardly participating! Who do you think ate all the roast duck? / Triangle ate nothing. / Well, if he's going to order food and not finish it, that's hardly my problem...
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Triangle and Robert #814 Skcud! / Nice try, but... no. / You have to do it with me! / Say "sknaht!" / Sknaht? / Skcud.
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Triangle and Robert #815 I can move! I can say words other than "ducks"! / It worked! You're okay! / But isn't there still a young Mr. Disease somewhere in the city? / A what in the who? / Right, you were away... Read the back strips and get caught up.
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Triangle and Robert #816 I read the back strips and I still have one question. / Yes? / What was the point? / While syntactically correct, that question presupposes an invalid assumption and is thus semantically meaningless. / You could have just said "There wasn't one." / Then I wouldn't have had anything for panel three.
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Triangle and Robert #817 Since the pair of ducks was resolved, the younger Mr. Disease must have vanished from this timeline. It's simple logic. / ...which has proven itself time and time again not to work in this strip. / Oh, now you've jinxed it. / Oh. Sorry... didn't realize you were going for the denial plan. / It's not denial, it's logic. And denial.
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Triangle and Robert #818 You mentioned a "denial plan" last strip. Does that have anything to do with medical insurance? / You're an idiot often enough that you don't need to be one on purpose. / And we don't have ieeih. / "Ieeih"? / Well, if you replace the "t" in "dental" with an "i"... / You've done enough talking for one strip.
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Triangle and Robert #819 Okay, I've been hesitating to ask this, but are there any loose ends left from your Gilliam-stalking adventure? / No. I was wrong about him being involved with the MSG mystery and he also isn't a giant crustacean. / Then we will all rest easier tonight.
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Triangle and Robert #820 Is Cube dead again or was that effect of the pair of ducks permanent? / It was Cube's resurrection into the middle of Mr. Disease's flashback that caused the pair of ducks, not the other way around. / Triangle, you're using logic again. / I can't help it!
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Triangle and Robert #821 What was the point of all that? / Point? / I didn't have one in mind at the time, but I guess in hindsight it serves as an illustration that I'm just as likely to kill you off when I need you as when I don't. / In other words, you're an idiot often enough that you don't needr to be one on purpose. / More or less.
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Triangle and Robert #822 Okay. I'll publish my Tetris theories in exchange for a means by which I can keep you from killing me off. / Shouldn't you have started with some recap about said theories and why I want them published? The readers aren't going to know what we're talking about. / That's their problm. / My sentiments exactly. Now, to business.
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Triangle and Robert #823 Triangle! I need your help. The RDCLBA is going to try to kill me once they read the previous strip. Can you protect me? / I'm a wacky scheme consultant. Do you want a wacky scheme consultant as a bodyguard? / I need something! / Hm... how about a wacky scheme to enlist Mr. Disease as a bodyguard?
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Triangle and Robert #824 Excuse me? I'd like eighths on my chow mein nachos and another five root beers. / I believe I know why you are here, Cube, and I sympathize with your situation. Eat slowly and I will provide complimentary bread. / Thank you. I will.
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Triangle and Robert #825 Triangle, why... / The Locust Garden is open 24 hours a day now. As long as Cube stays there and eats he is under Mr. Disease's protection. / Wacky. A bit straightforward for my taste, but wacky. / It's not really that straightforward, I had to make sure he wouldn't get full. / You mean the partially digested chow mein periodically materializing in the bathtub is because of you? Here I was thinking I'd finally found a cheat code! / A cheat code for our bathtub. Bizarre yet consistent.
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Triangle and Robert #826 I just hope I disabled the teleporter's controls properly. If it changes settings while he's eating something odd is likely to result. / Maybe it's hot, cold, hot, cold, drain, drain, flush, flush, select, lukewarm, shower. / You're not listening. / Additionally, nothing in our bathroom has a select button.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?826
Triangle and Robert #827 I'm on the phone with a plumber now, Robert. She says it's a known bug and she'll come update the EPROM sometime today. Until then, just stay calm. / Uh... / No, you're really better off if I don't explain. It'd really just make you and your readers unnecessarily confused. / I think I'll take your word for that. In my world, the only danger they pose is when the sproingy axle part flies off at an unexpected angle and hits someone.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?827
Triangle and Robert #828 I believe danger is approaching. / I'm ready for it. / Step aside... glyph. We don't have any business with you. / This is my restaurant. Order or depart. / You appear not to know who we are or what we can do. / Again, this is my restaurant. Look over the menu before you make your choices.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?828
Triangle and Robert #829 You think you're a warrior-chef. / I am. / Just what do you plan to do? / I plan to take your order and serve you a meal, or to eject you from the premises if you do not order. / Well, we haven't had lunch. We'll eat, then we'll take care of our business with the cube.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?829
Triangle and Robert #830 So what's the plan? Are you going to poison them? / Of course not. They are my guests. Until they strike, I will serve them as I would any others. / And poisonings would be bad publicity. / I assure you, that did not enter my mind.
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Triangle and Robert #831 They're eating slowly. I think they're really afraid of you. / They are aware of the quality of my cooking and what it implies. / I've never understood the connection between cooking skills and combat ability. / What is there not to understand? / The connection between cooking skills and combat ability. / I will have to enlighten you at some future time. Currently, there is much for me to do.
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Triangle and Robert #832 Hey! My fortune cookie just says "anvil"! / You have eaten. Leave the premises unless you desire seconds. / We're not leaving without the cube. / Your fortune says otherwise. / What do you mean? It says "anv<> / Will you be leaving under your own power or shall I call for an ambulance?
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Triangle and Robert #833 Cube! Attack the small one! The others are mine! / I'm on it! / The ensuing battle is, of course, beyond my ability to draw. / No surprise there. / So... I guess this is going to be another of those totally useless third panels. / Such would seem to be the case.
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Triangle and Robert #834 After the dust clears... / I now see how cooking relates to combat. / I thought you might. / I just hope that was all the assassins they could spare. I don't want this to become a running gag. / Remain in my restaurant until you have finished writing of your findings and they become published. After than point your death will be of no benefit to the RCDLBA. / RDCLBA. / I was close.
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Triangle and Robert #835 Mr. Disease is spending all his time running the Locust Garden and guarding Cube. No one's watching the Sentries. / They're not alone, there are... / Doctors? Not a chef or a mystic among them. They don't count. / We're going to the hospital, Robert. The Sentries need our care. / I'll bring tulips.
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Triangle and Robert #836 Visiting hours are over. / Triangle, let me handle this. / Listen. One way or another we're getting into the Sentries' room. We can visit or we can use a wacky scheme. Do you want a wacky scheme to happen on your shift? / Triangle! She's letting us in! / So I can leave the leeches in the truck?
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Triangle and Robert #837 These rooms only have two beds each. / I think Mr. Disease pulled some strings. / Only if the strings were holding up interior walls. / What do you mean? / Look. / He... remodeled?
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Triangle and Robert #838 The hospital just let him demolish a wall? / It seemed the safest thing to do at the time. / Mr. Disease was rather insistent. / Do you think he had a good reason? / I don't know. Frankly, the whole case has me stumped. / What can you tell us?
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Triangle and Robert #839 The four patients are in a coma. The same coma. / The same? / Their vital signs are synchronized. / That makes sense. They went down as a unit. / Mr. Disease told me a story about what happened to them, but it's not consistent with their injuries. / How so? / They don't have any injuries.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?839
Triangle and Robert #840 Triangle? Are we just going to pace here watching the Sentries not do anything? / That's the plan. / I guess... in a way... that's wacky. / Be quiet. I'm trying to taste something. / The inherent wackiness of warrior-chef techniques and customs is a field I am long overdue to explore. / Sh.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?840
 

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