You're browsing the archives of Triangle and Robert.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Triangle and Robert #901 I did it! We're home! / I'd like some proof of that. / There's no wallpaper. / That's right! So... how did you do it? / Do what? / Get us home. / Oh, right. That. / Well? / Let's turn on the TV.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?901
Triangle and Robert #902 ...however, not by the dark forces analysts had predicted. Preliminary reports suggest that the / long-sleeping ferret-god Bahk-Scraalye was the instrument of the kingdom's demise. It seems, although conjecture is of course risky / at this early point, that popular children's show pharmaceutical Prozac the Bear, whose royal appointment as Hero had confounded pundits...
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?902
Triangle and Robert #903 It's over? The whole Prozac/ferret plotline is over without involving us in any way? / It was sort of a dramatic counterpoint. Themes from each plot thread appeared in the other in modified form to richen the total narrative statement. / Are you expecting us to believe that? / [[Cartoonist speaks in a small font]] / ... No.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?903
Triangle and Robert #904 Now, what's the plan? / What plan? / Plan for what? / The next assault on the Factory. You must have one in mind, Triangle. / Actually, I'm not entirely clear on... well... much. / The Sentries are opposed to Orpuddex, I understand that. But why are you striking against him? Your presence is a sufficient deterrent, isn't it? / No! You do not understand the nature of his threat. / What did we tell you about font size?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?904
Triangle and Robert #905 The Pudding-Watcher enslaves the souls of the dead to revert the non-pudding mass of the Earth to pudding! If the Factory is not destroyed, all life but his own will cease! / You are correct, Miss Concarne. I had not realised the gravity of the situation. How much time do we have? / Time? / Before the Factory is fully operational. / It is operational. It has been running since before the dawn of polygons. / So... where's the rush then? / What do you mean, "rush"?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?905
 
Triangle and Robert #906 Orpuddex's plan won't come to fruition / Puddingion. / What? / Not fruit. Pudding. / The word's still "fruition", and Orpuddex's plan won't come to it for thousands of years, if even that soon. Meanwhile, the souls enslaved in his Pudding Factory of the Dead are no worse off than they would be released. I've seen the afterlife. It's dull. / Yes, it's a clear global threat which must be defeated. However, it's a very slow global threat which does not need to be defeated any time soon. / Then why did you take such pains to revive me and the other sentries?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?906
Triangle and Robert #907 Maybe it was presumptuous of me, but I was somehow under the impression the Sentries actually had something to do with something relevant, like the Time of the Oval or something. / You do not consider the Pudding-Watcher to be relevant? / Yes, that's it exactly. Orpuddex relates to... all this. The Factory doesn't, but Orpuddex himself does. I was hoping you knew something. / Now that you mention it, my memory has become fairly stable. I believe I may have aught to tell. / "Aught?" / Blame the Cartoonist for that one.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?907
Triangle and Robert #908 The Cartoonist came suddenly, but his appearance distorted time, and so some consequences took place before the strip began. / We could get this over with sooner if you switched to a smaller font size and stayed there. / I like this big lettering. Less work. / But we'll be here forever! / Fine. / Can you hear me now? / What? / Can you hear me now? / Uh, a little louder. / Can you hear me now? / Yeah, that's good. No more room in this strip though.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?908
Triangle and Robert #909 The Cartoonist's presence sent a four-dimensional ripple back in time, and the Pudding Factory of the Dead suddenly became reachable. For some very very long period of time, the Factory had been unreachable from normal space, hidden in a self-contained fold of space-time accessible only to the Watcher, Orpuddex. / The existence of the Factory, until that point, was an obscure legend, one of thousands of mythical threats. When the legend was proven true, we Sentries struck. However... we were unprepared. We had each fought separately, furthering the causes of our own food group. As a team, we were untrained, and so against the Pudding-Watcher we were helpless. / sentence tomorrow / Cube said that Orpuddex's presence in normal space was a sign of the Time of the Oval. / It may very well be. That is one prophecy which was lost even to us Sentries. The cube knows many secrets more ancient than even our First Recipes. / So, did the Cartoonist's vvvvvvvvvcffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttttttt / Uh... I spilled tegfa on my keyboagfrd... you'll hagfve to inish thagft
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?909
Triangle and Robert #910 So did the Cartoonist's presence trigger the Time of the Oval, or did the Time of the Oval cause the Cartoonist to begin the strip? / I don't know. That might be a false dichotomy. / In any event, the emergence of the Pudding-Watcher from his hiding led us to attack. We lost, and he devoured our memories. / And you all reacted differently... the Dairy Sentry started thinking he was a letter and physically changed into one, the Grain Sentry started a new life as the Food Pyramid... / We each had our reasons. I dimly recalled my role as a defender of meat... but I had forgotten the Sentries, and the closest job I found was that of Meat Enforcer. / But surely, you recognized them as evil before long? / No. It looks different from the inside. And... / I know. Don't call you Shirley.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?910
 
Triangle and Robert #911 So then, once your memories were restored, you all went for the Factory again. / The first time we attacked, the Vegetable Sentry was absent. We thought that with all four of us combined, we would have no trouble. / Why wasn't the Vegetable Sentry with you the first time? / He had suffered a defeat and was meditating. You know that. / I do? / It was many strips ago that he spoke to you about the matter. Perhaps you should peruse the archives If your memory needs refreshing. / We had thought he would respond to our call, but he was too deep in thought. Then, when we were defeated, he absorbed some of the psychic shock and his meditation turned into a coma. / From which I awoke him in Denmark. So that's why he still had his memories, and why he didn't know where the rest of you were.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?911
Triangle and Robert #912 So, to put it in a less flattering light, the excitement of discovering that the Pudding-Watcher was real distracted you from realizing how pathetic he is now. / I suppose that might be the case. / Don't go chasing after him unless he starts to do something both evil and competent. You're no use unconscious. / I suppose. / Hey Triangle, is the exposition over now? / Yeah, you can bring in the can-can zebras. / They exploded.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?912
Triangle and Robert #913 If the can-can zebras exploded, what are we going to do about the next plotline? / I think it's Cube's turn. / And so it is. / Another refill? / No. I'm done. / You have... completed the paper? / Yup. All I have to do now is fax it to a few journals and maybe put it on USENET and then I won't be worth killing anymore. / My telecommunications facilities are at your disposal.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?913
Triangle and Robert #914 It's sent. I am no longer in need of your protection. Thank you for your hospitality, Mr. Disease. / It is not in the way of a warrior-chef to deny hospitality to a customer. / You kept refilling everything for me, even after days. Nothing in your code requires free seconds on main courses or hot beverages. Why did you go so far out of your way to help me? / I must know what transpired in the city of Tetris. Your story will fill many gaps in the warrior-chef tradition. / Oh. / Also, the Locust Garden's continued appearances in the comic strip are surprisingly good for business.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?914
Triangle and Robert #915 Cartoonist! I've held up my end. / So you have. By your actions, much knowledge formerly lost is now within the domain of polygons. / And as for your end? / You will be beyond my ability to be harmed. It is a simple process. Remember that though you have eight vertices, I draw but seven. / So? / Make a mark upon your hidden vertex, and keep the nature of the mark hidden to me. Any of the ancient scripts I don't have a font for will do. I will then be unable to draw you from an arbitrary angle, and so will have no power over your life and death. / What an incredible load of bezier crap.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?915
 
Triangle and Robert #916 I draw you from the other side in the afterlife. Look at the archive if you don't believe me. / This sounds very tenuous. / It is. If I really wanted to kill you, I still could. The point is that, since we've spent strips negotiating this deal, the readers would know if I deliberately broke it. If I deliberately go back on my word, the whole strip falls apart. / The Gospel According to Kevin Smith? / Dogma? Yeah, sort of like that. And I can't kill you accidentally, since you'd be ejected from the afterlife for non-drawability. / How can I be sure my spirit will have the mark, not just my body? / Use really good ink.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?916
Triangle and Robert #917 Cube, your conclusions, though they contradict much of what I believed myself to learn, are inescapable. / If I'd been thinking on the right track the peppermill would have been the only clue I needed. / How were you to know? / That's true. / Hey, if you're gonna keep alluding to Cube's findings instead of explaining them, let me know so I can cut to another scene. / Sorry, force of habit.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?917
Triangle and Robert #918 The peppermill was powered by nothing more or less than geometry itself. The Fourth Race harnessed geometry as a tool, and constructed great wonders by using it. / I know. I read your paper already. / This is for the benefit of the readers. / Oh, of course. I apologize. / When the Fourth Race died out, their creations continued to grow and change. We, the Seventh Race, are the distant descendants of these geometric devices.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?918
Triangle and Robert #919 The saying that the meek would inherit the earth dates back to the Fourth Race, and so it came to pass that the Fifth Race evolved from the Fourth Race's very symbol of humility. / ...Baa. / Yes. I do not understand the lack of an ovine archaeological stratum, but the Fifth Race was undoubtedly of sheep, and reigned for a great deal of time. / What about the Sixth? / I have found nothing at all to fill that gap. Between intelligent sheep and polygons came a sentient species about which I have learned nothing beyond its existence. / And so the quest for knowledge must continue.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?919
Triangle and Robert #920 ARCHAEOLOGICAL SCORECARD / First Race: unknown* / Second Race: unknown / Third Race: unknown / Fourth Race: Man / Fifth Race: intelligent sheep / Sixth Race: unknown / Seventh Race: polygons / Eighth Race: unknown / * (Puddans?) / I could tell you who the Sixth Race was without affecting the plot, but you either wouldn't believe me or'd get mad. / I thought it might be something in that category. / As for why the Fifth left no record, all the clues for that are in the strip. Let me know if you really can't figure it out. / Why do you insist on making my life a puzzle game? / It's that or Sokoban. / Sokoban's also a puzzle game. / Whatever.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?920
 
Triangle and Robert #921 You listed the Eighth Race on that archaeological scorecard thing. / You know why. It's the Time of the Oval. / How much time do we have? / I can't answer that. It's not set in scone. / But the time for polygons on this world is nearing its end. / All things are nearing their ends, at different rates. / Can't you stop being cryptic for one whole conversation? / I am.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?921
Triangle and Robert #922 So what exactly is the significance of the Oval? / You haven't been paying attention? / I've been paying attention... you explains what it means that the Oval is here, but what is the Oval itself? / Well, you see, the archaeological record of the Fourth Race is in some points very / Ah. / What do you mean, "ah"? / You don't know. / It's not a matter of not knowing, so much as... the evidence... being... / Ah. / ... ah.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?922
Triangle and Robert #923 Well? / Well what? / What was in the envelope? / The... hey, yeah. Where'd it go? / I'm saving it for a later plotline. / I was holding it! You can't just... I mean, you can, but you...
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?923
Triangle and Robert #924 The Cornersheep reads of Cube's findings. / Sheep controlled the Earth once before. / My flock rebelled against me, but with this document as inspiration I can gather a new flock, a flock untied not only by my power but also by an awareness of manifest ovine destiny! / The Fifth Race shall rise again. Baa.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?924
Triangle and Robert #925 Within the Oval, a decision is made. Preparations are begun for a landing. / A recap of past events concerning the Oval is probably in order. / I'll start one next strip. Don't try too hard to figure out who's narrating it.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?925
 
Triangle and Robert #926 Day {{sym: Libra/sublimation}} Finally reached planet. Descended. Sighted two local lifeforms, polygons both. Each was larger than the Oval. / Taller of two lifeforms took hold of the Oval and sat on it for some time. They argued. Took language samples, fed to translator. / Conclusion: Language is isomorphic to English, with drastic phonetic shifts but no fundamental change of grammar. This world may be Earth.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?926
Triangle and Robert #927 Day {{sym:Libra/sublimation + Sol}} Attempted communication with lifeforms. Was briefly successful. Additional lifeforms arrived on the scene. Argument broke out between natives. / Sudden teleportation occured. Oval relocated to high-pressure pudding. Core of planet? / Natives unable to survive in pudding core, with one possible exception. Oval unable to propel within pudding. Trapped.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?927
Triangle and Robert #928 Day {{sym: Libra + square snowflake}} The pudding-based lifeform having previously departed, the Oval was alone when the sheep mining operation appeared. / This world's sheep [this time's sheep, if this is indeed Earth] are polygon-based and distinctly quadrilateral. One, apparently a leader, exhibited telepathic abilities. This sheep had the Oval brought to the surface for examination. / Once removed from the pudding, the Oval's engines soon restored themselves to working order. The sheep fired various weapons at the Oval during my escape. No significant damage was done.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?928
Triangle and Robert #929 Day {{sym: Libra + frown ampersand}} Taking readings of the interior of a vast building referred to by locals as the International Culinary Institute, the Oval encountered a polygon warning it to flee. Uncertain of the local political situation, I took this advice at face value. / After a head start during which this polygon had a heated conversation with two others, it gave chase. The Oval ran out of fuel and was captured. / Apparently a group called the RDCLBA had been offering a bounty of some sort for the Oval, but it had since been rescinded. Released, the Oval soon refueled (the availability of compatible fuel is further evidence that this world is Earth) and returned to orbit to make observations from safety.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?929
Triangle and Robert #930 Day {{sym: Libra + diamond scissor}} Observations complete. This is, undoubtedly, a world where simple polygons evolved from man. / It's stupid. It's just... plain... stupid. / These shapes are unfit to rule a planet. I know what I must do in order to save the Earth.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?930
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140
141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 >>