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Triangle and Robert #91 We tried your plan, it failed, now it's my turn. / And your idea is? / We try an employment agency. / I guess there's some opportunity for humor in that... / I was thinking we could just get regular, non-zany jobs and start putting money in a savings account. / I'd make a good rodeo clown, right?
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Triangle and Robert #92 Welcome to ABLCDR Employment. How may I help you two? / I'm looking for an entry-level position in information technology. / I want to be a rodeo clown. / Well, you're in luck. There's a pair of openings at RTTDCLTR Industries that would be just perfect for the both of you. / Rodeo clown AND infotech?... / Sounds great.
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Triangle and Robert #93 Well, you're next. Good luck with your interview. / I still don't quite understand what sort of jobs we're applying for... / That was quick. How'd you do? / What's the opposite of "hired"?
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Triangle and Robert #94 Your turn. Hope your interview goes better than mine! / How'd it go? / Guess. / That's better wash out.
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Triangle and Robert #95 Meanwhile, in an abandoned warehouse that has some semi-humorous Batman-esque relationship to sheep, although I can't think of what that relationship might be at the moment... / Oh yeah... the sheep that the builders rejected has become the cornersheep... / You're gonna taste it! Oh yeah, you're ALL gonna taste it soon!
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Triangle and Robert #96 That was a bust. Now what? / This place looks like it's hiring. / [[A shopfront: / THE LOCUST GARDEN / AUTH NTIC CHINES QUISINE / In the windows are signs: / WAITSTAFF WANTED / DISHWASHERS WANTED / COOKS WANTED / MANAGER WANTED / EXTERMINATOR WANTED / PARAMEDIC WANTED]] / Okay, but I'm only going along with this because it'll be funny. / No openings for rodeo clowns...
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Triangle and Robert #97 Welcome to the Locust Garden. May I take your orders? / I'm not sure. What's good today? / I'd recommend the green rice. / Green? / It was white to start with, but... well, you know.
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Triangle and Robert #98 Your fortune cookies, sir, ma'am. / Mine says, "I hope for your sake you didn't have the chicken." / Mine is, "Joy comes to you when you contemplate the simpler things. The big picture will take care of itself... in bed." / In bed? / That's what it says. It also says my lucky number is Kevin Murphy.
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Triangle and Robert #99 Welcome to the Locust Garden, may I take your order? / You! Chosen One! Now we shall do battle! / Listen, Orpuddex, I'm not going to kill you over some lumpy pudding from billions of years ago. / In that case, I'll have the lo mein. / Will that be the pork lo mein with dead roach, the beef lo mein with rat hair, or the vegetable lo mein with gooey black substance? / Which is cheapest? / The chicken, but you don't want it.
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Triangle and Robert #100 Happy 100th strip from all of us at Triangle and Robert and The Locust Garden! / And while the fools are occupied with the 100th strip festivities, I shall set my plan into action.
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Triangle and Robert #101 Waiter, I want to complain about this fortune cookie. / What's the problem? / It says my lucky number is Patrick McGoohan. / And your problem is? / He is not a number, he is a free man!
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The Triangle Who is Number One? / You are Triangle. / Who is Number One? / You are Triangle. / Okay, let's try this from a different angle... Who is Triangle? / You are Number one-- DARN IT!
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Triangle and Robert #103 Sign here for delivery. / Shouldn't this comma be a decimal point? / No, it's ten thousand pounds. That's what we always deliver here. / Well, okay. / OKAY, BRING IN THE TRUCK!
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Triangle and Robert #104 Baa! / WHAT? / Well, well. It appears that I'm not the only one attempting to control the world's supply of artificial flavorings. Somewhere, someone is hoarding a massive stockpile of MSG... but where? / Wow! This roast duck is really good! What's in it? / That's The Locust Garden's exclusive blend of fourteen herbs and chemicals.
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Triangle and Robert #105 Has it occured to you that this restaurant isn't exactly healthy? / It's fast Chinese. What do you expect? / There are little packets of MSG instead of salt. / Now that you mention it, it is a little upsetting that the complimentary bread glows in the dark. / And then there's the chicken... / Doesn't the chicken remind you of that scene in Indiana Jones when the Nazis open the Ark? / Yeah, it does, come to think of it.
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Triangle and Robert #106 I can play eight kinds of wind instruments with my nose. / You don't have a nose. / That's okay, I don't have eight kinds of wind instruments either. / See? Not funny. Can we go back to the plot now? / I'm sorry.
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Triangle and Robert #107 Once upon a time, in a Chinese restaurant in a land far away, there lived three little shapes and a big bad super-intelligent telepathic sheep. The first little shape-- / Stop! / I told you once already, no childrens'-story parodies. / I thought after you did that Prisoner joke... / That was a one-time deal, and besides, The Prisoner isn't a childrens' story. / It's not? No wonder I grew up so weird.
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Triangle and Robert #108 Let me in or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your Chinese restaurant down! / I'm sorry, we're not going the Three Little Shapes after all. / I designed and built that 300-foot fan for nothing? So... how AM I going to get in? / Will this do?
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Triangle and Robert #109 What's that? / It's the restaurant's security system. / What's the big light on the left for? / That one goes on if a flock of sheep land on the roof. / I'd ask what the odds of that are but I don't want it to happen. / Too late.
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Triangle and Robert #110 Bring be all of your MSG. Now. / Okay, fourteen thousand three hundred fifty-seven number fives, and would you like a beverage with that? / You have a number for it? / Of course. Do you want it here or to go? / Um... to go, please.
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Triangle and Robert #111 Your order's ready. It comes to seven thousand dollars even, including tip. / No, you misunderstand. I'm not BUYING this MSG, I'm TAKING it! / And how are you planning to escape with over fourteen thousand pounds of potentially-carcinogenic meat enhancer? / Give me a minute, I'll think of something.
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Triangle and Robert #112 I've got a hostage! Put all your MSG into a truck or the rhombus gets it! / It? / Yes. It. / Which would be exactly...? / You know... "it". It's like... Quit trying to stall me!
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Triangle and Robert #113 You know, you look familiar. / I'm serious. Stop trying to stall me. / Stall? Stall! That's it! That's where I remember you from! You're the sheep I used the jumper cables on! / That knowledge is useless to you now. / Oh yeah? Triangle! Dump some sugar in its... um... grass tank!
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Triangle and Robert #114 Wow. That was a close one. / Yeah, it... hey! I can't remember the actual fighting! / I couldn't draw the fight scene. Basically, there was a brawl between the restaurant patrons and the parasheep, who had some sort of ray guns that turned people into punctuation marks. You all fought very well, but the Cornersheep used his psychic powers to escape at the last second. He didn't get any of the MSG. / Now THAT is laziness. / What kind of supervillain name is The Cornersheep?
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Triangle and Robert #115 So now we need to find a way to turn all these punctuation marks back into people. / Why? Oh... we're the main characters. / That and we'll probably get fired if we don't. / Who'd fire us? The cartoonist hasn't decided how to draw our boss yet. / Triangle? Where are our customers? / You were saying?
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Triangle and Robert #116 If I were a super-intelligent telepathic sheep, where would I hide? / Isn't it obvious? / The abandoned Bahr company sweater factory on Wool Street! Of course! / I was thinking Lake Superior. / Why Lake Superior? / Never mind, it was a stupid thought.
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Triangle and Robert #117 We can't just charge into the Cornersheep's lair blindly. We need a plan of attack. / Or a really big gun. / That's as good a plan as any. / Where can we get heavy weapons cheap? / I'll check the phone book. / We're not talking hunting rifles, you know. You're not going to find major arms dealers in the yellow pages. / Sure I am. They list them under "Escort Services". / That's prostitutes. / You sure?
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Triangle and Robert #118 Silo Nineteen. I think I've heard of them. / The guy on the phone said they buy weapons cheap when governments collapse... and pass the savings on to us! / Even at a discount, we'll only be able to afford a couple rocket launchers. I don't think that'll be enough. / I'm way ahead of you. / You're not going to rob a convenience store, are you? / Way way ahead of you.
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Triangle and Robert #119 You robbed a convenience store? / No! Do I look like the sort rhombus that would rob a convenience store? / Let me guess. The punchline is "It was a gas station," right? / No, but that's a lot funnier than what I was going to say. / Which was? / Gold card, baby!
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Triangle and Robert #120 Assuming this second-hand arms dealership takes credit cards... / A reasonable assumption. / We'll still have the Cornersheep's psychic powers to contend with. / Only if he notices us. / He? / Well, I'm just guessing about the pronoun. He, it, whatever.
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