You're browsing the archives of Triangle and Robert.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Triangle and Robert #1261 Aruba: / Hand over the Meat Sentry's body and I'll leave in peace. / Okay. / Scotland: / The glutamic seaplane is functional. Whatever business distracted the entity must have concluded. / The Zone of No Pudding: / How could he kill me? I don't understand. / You don't need to understand. Your part in this story is over.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1261
Triangle and Robert #1262 The Oval was never meant to return. Naturally they'd have manned it with an expendable automaton and not a human. / But if it wasn't human, why were polygons required to obey it? / They built the Ovalnaut with all their command of geometry so that it could deal with unexpected situations. / That almost vaguely makes sense. Over the centuries it forgot what it was, and assumed it must have been human because it had the abilities of humans? / Limbs in particular.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1262
Triangle and Robert #1263 We will be landing now. / I wonder if we'll be heroes. / I hope not. / I thrive on inconsequential adventures that change nothing. / I have enough to worry about being a protagonist. I can't afford to be a role model too. / Message gotten. Next plotline: pointless disjointed events and maybe some panicked fleeing. / Hooray!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1263
Triangle and Robert #1264 We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, wonder who it's from! / Just open the thing. / A desperate theme park wants to hire us to turn them around! / That sounds good. / Oh... they mean turn them around financially, not rotationally. Still, a job's a job.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1264
Triangle and Robert #1265 Well, this is it. / Doesn't look like much. / Not being drawn isn't helping it. / Doesn't sound like much either. A theme park should have annoying music and... forget I said anything. / Forget wha-? Oh. We don't want to risk... that pill... thinking we want it here. / It certainly smells like a theme park, on the plus side.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1265
 
Triangle and Robert #1266 You've arrived. Welcome to... well, we're between names at the moment. Naming this park is one of the tasks for you to handle. / We had trouble finding the place. You need to give better directions and put up a few signs. / At one point the park was "Impossible-to-Find World" and hidden under a tarp. We haven't entirely undone that. / So you've been through a lot of themes? / There's been a tendency to jump on bandwagons at just the wrong moment. / Hence "All Your Coaster Are Belong To Us."
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1266
Triangle and Robert #1267 The first thing people see after the parking lot is the entrance. It should be welcoming and exciting. / And drawn. / Ideally, yes. / Drawn or not, though, there should be almost no barbed wire. / You see? This sort of thing is why we need consultants. / Also why Robert needs to stop randomly climbing things. You don't happen to have any medical staff, do you? / {{upside-down}}Help?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1267
Triangle and Robert #1268 Look at these ticket prices. They make no sense. A family of four is better off buying tickets separately than as a group. / It was the easiest way to meet tax code requirements. / I'm not sure I follow. / There's a tax on people who are bad at math. / Ah, right. Somehow that money never seems to get to our schools. / {{upside-down}}Help please?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1268
Triangle and Robert #1269 Anything else you could suggest about the entrance? / Not until we have a name for the park. That'll determine much of the decor. / So, heading inward. / Good, a nice broad walkway... concession stands highly visible... low-hanging gondola that could easily hit someone... pack of feral cats... / {{upside-down}}¡Ayudame!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1269
Triangle and Robert #1270 Are you just going to leave your partner stuck on the barbed wire? / It's the safest place for him to be. / Don't let him down until we've identified all the deathtraps and potential self-destruct mechanisms. If there's a button to not press, he'll press it. It's a wacky sidekick thing. / Are you allowed to split infinitives? / Everywhere but Kansas.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1270
 
Triangle and Robert #1271 We have forty-four rides, although they're not all currently functioning.... Are you sure Robert is okay like that? / You're the client. If you want him down I'll let him down. / Remember, you did sign an insurance waiver. / Hi, I let myself down from the barbed wire. Did you know this theme park was built over an isosceles burial ground?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1271
Triangle and Robert #1272 What do you mean, an isosceles burial ground? / Back when discrimination against them was more blatant, isosceles triangles had to bury their dead separately from scalene triangles. A lot of them died violent deaths. I'd be surprised not to encounter vengeful spirits. / Robert, don't be silly. There's no such thing as competent ghosts.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1272
Triangle and Robert #1273 Cotton candy! Cotton candy! / Fibreglass insulation... / Robert, what... no... how are you eating that? Don't eat fibreglass! / It's not fibreglass. / Why are there giant rolls of pink cotton candy amongst janitorial and maintenance equipment? / We had to put them somewhere.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1273
Triangle and Robert #1274 Triangle, I think I ate too much cotton candy. / I noticed. / It did give me an idea, though. I know exactly how we can catch that spooky crook. / What spooky crook? / I'm ahead of the plot. Sorry. / This isn't Scooby!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1274
Triangle and Robert #1275 There are lots of things that happen in amusement parks, not just Scooby Doo episodes. / In fact, there aren't even that many amusement park episodes of Scooby Doo. / ... / You say "Jinkies," I eviscerate you.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1275
 
Triangle and Robert #1276 Let's try a ride. / I guess it can't hurt. / Feel free. / What's that one? "The Permutatron"? / It's out of order. / We can get a good view of the park from the Ferris wh... tetrahedron? / How does that even rotate?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1276
Triangle and Robert #1277 Riding the Ferris tetrahedron after overeating is inadvisable. / Here I go! / Why did he just... / Officially, he's stress- and safety-testing the ride. Unofficially, it's just so he gets to vomit. / Does he enjoy vomiting? / No. He's just trying to advance the plot. Or something. I don't think he knows either.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1277
Triangle and Robert #1278 Whee! / The Ferris tetrahedron looks fun. Except, um... / Shouldn't it be structurally impossible for it to, you know... / Sh! Don't say... / The collapse of the Ferris tetrahedron was oddly silent, as I wasn't really sure what kind of noise it should make.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1278
Triangle and Robert #1279 W... why... why would you have.... a ride... which IMMEDIATELY falls apart if anyone questions its mechanical viability? / I have no idea. / Aren't you in charge? / I've only been in charge for three weeks. This is the first time I've seen the park operating in person. / And this wasn't worth telling us before because... / I didn't want you to be underconfident.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1279
Triangle and Robert #1280 So far I'm thinking you should dismantle the entire park and start from scratch with a new one. I doubt it would cost much more than bringing what you have up to code. / We're at almost zero operating budget. We need to become profitable without any major capital outlay. I'm hoping some of the attractions can become money makers with only cosmetic changes. / I don't think a coat of paint and a new sign will improve the Trebuchet Into A Brick Wall or the On Fire Coaster. / We could extinguish the coaster, take down the brick wall, and aim the trebuchet at a bouncy castle.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1280
 
Triangle and Robert #1281 Simple lack of explosives won't get the bumber cars to pass a safety inspection. They need to be safe, not just less actively deadly. / I'm not following you. / You're not legally allowed to operate an amusement park unless the attractions pass mandatory inspections. / I can see how that could be a problem. I bet it had something to do with the last two CEOs retiring. / What if you don't advertise it as an amusement park? Reopen as an open-air fitness gym and label the rides as exercise equipment. / Gyms have inspections too. / Yes, but the bribes are smaller.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1281
Triangle and Robert #1282 I'd rather only hear ideas that are legal for now. How can the park run and make a profit without breaking any laws? / I haven't formulated a plan yet. / Let's keep looking around! / Low-flying gondola! / I see it, thanks! / Bear trap! / What?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1282
Triangle and Robert #1283 This waterslide looks fun. How do I start the water? / Don't touch that valve! / Will it trigger some sort of comical disaster? / Uh... whichever answer keeps you from turning it.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1283
Triangle and Robert #1284 I know for a fact that this slide isn't connected to the plumbing. Whatever fluid it is, it's not a waterslide. / There's only one way to find out. / No, there isn't. Don't turn the valve until you know what it's connected to. / Come on, how bad could it be? / I'm thinking napalm. With piranhas in it.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1284
Triangle and Robert #1285 You hired us. Don't keep us from doing our job. I'm turning on that water... unknown-fluid-slide. / It's against my direction. I'm not liable if it turns out to be liquid nitrogen with rabies. / You're not scaring me. / See? It's just water. I mean bleach. I mean ammonia. I mean... / *THUD*
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1285
 
Triangle and Robert #1286 Toxic vapours! Robert fell down! / I suppose you don't have hazard gear around? / It's in the carousel. Break open the horses. / Interesting place for it. / I don't see any horses, just what appear to be half-melted pandas and weirdly misshapen ... ...things. / The bluer things were originally horses.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1286
Triangle and Robert #1287 This isn't hazard gear! / It's supposed to be. What is it? / I think it's Dukes of Hazzard gear. / That isn't funny. / It certainly isn't. / I doesn't really make sense either. / I know. / The fumes are getting closer! I'm taking shelter in the Family Fun Abattoir. / You're not supposed to leave consultants to die!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1287
Triangle and Robert #1288 [[Triangle running]] / [[slightly blue Triangle running]] / [[bluer Triangle running]] / You can't hold your breath much longer, I only have a few distinguishable shades of blue.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1288
Triangle and Robert #1289 [[blue Triangle running]] / Triangle! In here! / [[bluer Triangle running]] / Robert! You're okay? / It's airtight in here. Come on! / [[slightly blue Triangle]] / I couldn't see. Where are we? / I didn't see the name of the ride. Don't touch the heating coils.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1289
Triangle and Robert #1290 The bleach-and-ammoniaslide is still running. We have to shut it d... The floor's moving. / [[Triangle and Robert launched out of "The TOASTER"]] / What a strange concept for a ride. / Could that have been drawn any less to scale?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1290
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140
141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 >>